by Slate Quicksilver
We already went through the first 3 power conferences in terms of alphabeticalosity, now we move to the next few. However I'd like to make a brief foray into what Iroquois did:
Best Player: Toby Gerhardt. He did amazing things with little to nothing helping him out. He looked like Jay Culter 2006 in the Swamp destroying the Gators defense battling the refs, his own team's terribleness and light resistance put up by the Gators still shaking off the Zooker curse and thinking that coasting at the end of games was not only acceptable but expected. Only Toby Gerhardt did it every week and doesn't appear to be a total asshole.
Best Team: Alabama. No questions here. Best team you didn't hear about this year: Central Connecticut State. They went 9-3 in the Northeastern conference winning it for the first time in this epoch. Congrats to the Blue Devils.
/my birthday is coming up and Mother Quicksilver is an alum and I want a certain awesome gift
Best Foil: Reynolds Wrap Quality Aluminum Foil. Seriously this stuff is awesome and cheap. You can line your cooking pan with this, plop down 5 pounds of frozen fries and then dump 3 cups of every kind of cheese you like on it and it won't rip or rupture when you take it out. Ridiculous.
Most Entertaining non-bowl game: FSU - UF. Watching an old rival fail multiple times over and over again never got old. Same week, LSU/Arkansas. That game was wacky.
Most Entertaining Bowl game: The bowl game the University of Michigan did not go to for the second year in a row.
Best Demise: (tie) Michigan, for the losing and terribleness. USC for the allegations and abandonment.
Let's move on to the rest of the important conferences:
BigTen:
Mixed directions here for this conference. Yes, Ohio State won a BCS game (OMGOMGOMGOMG) and that means that the past few years of total badness, surrending the butt and just general "oops did we really do that"s against good teams is totally 100% completely totally and definitively forgiven. In related news, Japan has forgiven the U.S. for dropping 2 atomic bombs on them and we're totally cool now.
However we must look at the rest of the conference to really get the picture. Michigan is going nowhere fast and although this year was better, the team was supposedly going to be considerably better. Now they are losing their best defensive player. Not good for them. Michigan State took a step back, but we maintain that they lost several games in miserable heart stomping fashion and should be better next year with an actual offense. Illinois is abysmal and the Zooker will probably soon be cut free into the wilderness. Indiana is improving, oddly, and maybe will even go to a bowl game next year.
Penn State will forever under JoePa finish in tied for 2nd or in 3rd in the BigTen. Forever. Northwestern showed spunk this year but will probably stop the immediate moment their coach leaves. Iowa could be good next year with a slew of returning starters, but remember that they are incapable of putting two good seasons together. WisCANsin impressed most, but you can never truly gauge them thanks to the fact that no one cares about them. We also have Minnesota who is an enigma and finally we have Purdue who is terrible yet somehow beat Ohio State.
Pac10:
Let's get the elephant out of the room: USC, you are F'd in the A. It's been real, but it's time for your snooty rich student population to go back to not caring about their team. Washington is showing signs of life while Washington State is, without a doubt, a quadreplegic, deaf, blind and dumb team with no hope for anything. The state of Arizona is very blah, but somehow I think they will survive.
It looks as though USC's fall is everyone else's gain. Stanford is rising from the ashes under their new coach. California is not bad and has a great defense. Oregon is probably set in the Pac10 for years to come and Oregon State will be up there fighting them the whole way. However it must be asked: is the Pac10 going to benefit from USC's fall?
USC's disappearance will help the other teams, but they lose that one powerhouse. It's a tough question, but I vote that the conference goes forward. Oregon, Cal, Stanford and Oregon State will all pick up better recruits and really USC's fall is everyone else's gain.
Except Washington State. They are pathetic.
SEC:
SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC. No, really. The SEC is fine. Florida, regardless of Urban's absence of unknown length, will be fine with a new "more 2006ish" offense, but they won't be wowwing anyone either with a "more 2007ish" defense holding them back. Georgia will be better next year, the question is by how much. Tennessee might be better next year assuming that the team doesn't try to rob a McDonalds all at once on a motor coach. South Carolina is going nowhere and neither is Kentucky. Lastly we have Vandy would returned to Earth after last year's fun and will continue to be Vandy for the next 50 years or so.
In the West, Alabama looks to be in control for next year and only LSU and UF stand to even come close to them next year. LSU is going to improve as long as they take a time-management course. Ole Miss was up and down this year and will continue to do so as long as Count von Giggity is coaching them. Auburn improved more than most thought, but we need another year to digest their team fully. Arkansas also improved, and so did Mississippi State although they only slightly improved. This makes the SEC West scary, powerful and a harsh place live.
So that's it. Yes, the SEC is the best conference and blablabla woofwoofwoof (insert SEC hack talk). We go into the 8 month void scared and with trepidation. Iroquois is going to post Mondays and Wednesdays, I will hit on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Annie and Red may drop in from time to time. We'll go into baseball, soccer, hockey, the olympics... it'' be ever so much fun!
Thank for reading this and we won't disappoint in the offseason!
Showing posts with label FINAL WORD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FINAL WORD. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Final Word for College Football Season 140 Part 1
by Slate Quicksilver
Folks, it's over. Time to put the grill in storage, place the face paint back under the kitchen sink and it's time to begin to wait for 8 months to pass. College football season is over. No more ramblings by Verne Lundquist, no more spittle ejections by Lou Holtz, no more destruction of the TV football format by FOX. Now we get to settle in for a few weeks of over-exposure of recruiting wars, followed by the total over analysis of recruiting classes. Then we'll see the spring games and over hype the fact that some fan bases are more excited than others solely because more of them went to their spring game than their rivals. But after that, we're devoid of any and all college football until July, when NCAA11 comes out so that we can complain about how "they got it wrong" on X team's defense or Y player on Z team is "wayyyyyyy overrated". Finally, in August, we'll get excited when we hear about depth charts being filled and schedules being over-emphasized.
September 4th. That's what we're waiting for. The only truly good news about the off-season is the Fulmer Cup on Everyday Should be Saturday wherein point are awarded to schools for arrests. A genius thing and entertaining. (PLS's preseason pick: Washington State).
So, here we go with the final word for college football, season 140, broken into a conference-by-conference capsule that will require 2 parts:
ACC:
The ACC, of all of the BCS conferences, is at a crossroads... though some may half disagree. On one hand we have seen Georgia Tech surge back to relevance, but also we've seen Florida State fade to black. Virginia Tech, as always, is going to be a favorite. The Hokies, in fact, have been in several top 10s for next year... even though those polls are as much of guess as anything. Elsewhere, Clemson proved to be solid under Dabo Sweeney although we'll see how they do when CJ Spiller bolts. Miami was a warzone-esque field away from a 10 win season and North Carolina is both up and down... up in that their defense is solid, down in that their offense was absent for several games this past season. Virginia, Boston College and Wake Forest both took steps backward, while North Carolina State made an about face and ran full sprint in the wrong direction. Lastly we come to Duke, who won 5 games, which for them is like winning 15 games anywhere else.
All in all, the conference is just kind of floating in the netherworld not going in a stronger or weaker position. We will have to see how Florida State recovers. We will also have to see if the trend of Georgia Tech getting blasted in their bowl game means anything.
BigXII:
In the south, Texas, in this one's opinion, is going to be the strong favorite in the Big12 next year. Oklahoma was certainly down this year, but it would be foolish to think they won't win 10 games next year. Oklahoma State was a disappointment this year in many respects, but 9 wins is hard to complain about. Texas Tech is probably going to enter a tailspin for obvious reasons while Texas A&M surprised many by actually being in a bowl game. Baylor did it's usual Baylor thing, but losing their everything-back in the first game of the season didn't help.
In the north, America as a whole must once again fear a powerful Nebraska team. The state of Kansas looks to have returned back to mediocrity and so has Missouri. Iowa State exceeded everyone's expectations by not going to a bowl game, but also winning it. Colorado is, without a doubt, a hopeless shipwreck of terrible proportions.
A powerful Nebraska team is as scary as even the most terrifying of birds: Cockatoos
Looking forward the BigXII looks to have Texas and Oklahoma do their usual fight for the south while Nebraska has re-acquired a nuclear powered defense and will own the north for quite a while. The BigXII, this past year, was a bit down thanks to losing Oklahoma. A powerful offense with a lack of defense was par for the course and only Texas, with a nasty defense, was the exception. Will we see BigXII defenses get better next year? For their conference's sake, they better hope so. As a result it should always be asked, are the offenses just that good or are the defenses that bad?
Big East:
This conference probably took the farthest leaps forward of any of the BCS conferences. Cincinnati is a power (despite their absence at the Sugar Bowl), Pittsburgh is respectable (yes I know what was just mentioned) and Connecticut and West Virginia are teams that are not to be messed with. South Florida and Rutgers showed life at times, though USF will be moving on at head coach for some reason. Syracuse improved, in a technical sense, but the Greg Paulus experience was not a fun one. Louisville, was vomit inducingly bad, and we wish Charlie Strong an infinite supply of good luck... it may not be enough.
The Big East is OK now, and if they stay OK if beyond anyone's guess. I vote that it will stay for a few years, until the BigTen pilfers Cincy of Pitt away from them.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's finale to this scintillating final word (no we won't be talking about the non-BCS schools).
Folks, it's over. Time to put the grill in storage, place the face paint back under the kitchen sink and it's time to begin to wait for 8 months to pass. College football season is over. No more ramblings by Verne Lundquist, no more spittle ejections by Lou Holtz, no more destruction of the TV football format by FOX. Now we get to settle in for a few weeks of over-exposure of recruiting wars, followed by the total over analysis of recruiting classes. Then we'll see the spring games and over hype the fact that some fan bases are more excited than others solely because more of them went to their spring game than their rivals. But after that, we're devoid of any and all college football until July, when NCAA11 comes out so that we can complain about how "they got it wrong" on X team's defense or Y player on Z team is "wayyyyyyy overrated". Finally, in August, we'll get excited when we hear about depth charts being filled and schedules being over-emphasized.
September 4th. That's what we're waiting for. The only truly good news about the off-season is the Fulmer Cup on Everyday Should be Saturday wherein point are awarded to schools for arrests. A genius thing and entertaining. (PLS's preseason pick: Washington State).
So, here we go with the final word for college football, season 140, broken into a conference-by-conference capsule that will require 2 parts:
ACC:
The ACC, of all of the BCS conferences, is at a crossroads... though some may half disagree. On one hand we have seen Georgia Tech surge back to relevance, but also we've seen Florida State fade to black. Virginia Tech, as always, is going to be a favorite. The Hokies, in fact, have been in several top 10s for next year... even though those polls are as much of guess as anything. Elsewhere, Clemson proved to be solid under Dabo Sweeney although we'll see how they do when CJ Spiller bolts. Miami was a warzone-esque field away from a 10 win season and North Carolina is both up and down... up in that their defense is solid, down in that their offense was absent for several games this past season. Virginia, Boston College and Wake Forest both took steps backward, while North Carolina State made an about face and ran full sprint in the wrong direction. Lastly we come to Duke, who won 5 games, which for them is like winning 15 games anywhere else.
All in all, the conference is just kind of floating in the netherworld not going in a stronger or weaker position. We will have to see how Florida State recovers. We will also have to see if the trend of Georgia Tech getting blasted in their bowl game means anything.
BigXII:
In the south, Texas, in this one's opinion, is going to be the strong favorite in the Big12 next year. Oklahoma was certainly down this year, but it would be foolish to think they won't win 10 games next year. Oklahoma State was a disappointment this year in many respects, but 9 wins is hard to complain about. Texas Tech is probably going to enter a tailspin for obvious reasons while Texas A&M surprised many by actually being in a bowl game. Baylor did it's usual Baylor thing, but losing their everything-back in the first game of the season didn't help.
In the north, America as a whole must once again fear a powerful Nebraska team. The state of Kansas looks to have returned back to mediocrity and so has Missouri. Iowa State exceeded everyone's expectations by not going to a bowl game, but also winning it. Colorado is, without a doubt, a hopeless shipwreck of terrible proportions.
A powerful Nebraska team is as scary as even the most terrifying of birds: Cockatoos
Looking forward the BigXII looks to have Texas and Oklahoma do their usual fight for the south while Nebraska has re-acquired a nuclear powered defense and will own the north for quite a while. The BigXII, this past year, was a bit down thanks to losing Oklahoma. A powerful offense with a lack of defense was par for the course and only Texas, with a nasty defense, was the exception. Will we see BigXII defenses get better next year? For their conference's sake, they better hope so. As a result it should always be asked, are the offenses just that good or are the defenses that bad?
Big East:
This conference probably took the farthest leaps forward of any of the BCS conferences. Cincinnati is a power (despite their absence at the Sugar Bowl), Pittsburgh is respectable (yes I know what was just mentioned) and Connecticut and West Virginia are teams that are not to be messed with. South Florida and Rutgers showed life at times, though USF will be moving on at head coach for some reason. Syracuse improved, in a technical sense, but the Greg Paulus experience was not a fun one. Louisville, was vomit inducingly bad, and we wish Charlie Strong an infinite supply of good luck... it may not be enough.
The Big East is OK now, and if they stay OK if beyond anyone's guess. I vote that it will stay for a few years, until the BigTen pilfers Cincy of Pitt away from them.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's finale to this scintillating final word (no we won't be talking about the non-BCS schools).
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Final Word for College Football Week 4
By Slate Quicksliver
It's not the 4th week of the season, but we need to catalog this properly. Every Sunday-Monday we will wrap up the past week's goings ons in a simple to understand format. We talk about the top 5 in some detail, then we give one sentence about the rest of the top 25. Then for the non-ranked teams in the important conferences, we give them snippets of sentences. We do not reward mediocrity here at Potluck Sports, thus those snippets are all bound in to one giant paragraph. Enjoy.
Top 25:
1 Florida - Kentucky
Reaction by a non-UF fan: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG TIM TEBOW IS HUMAN OMG OMG OMG.
Reaction by a UF Fan: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG TIM TEBOW IS HUMAN OMG OMG OMG.
Reaction by a rational human being: Mild concussion plus side effects of the flu that had been affecting their whole roster. Florida has a bye AND without Tebow, Florida's offense will not fall apart like the economy did starting last September and it will not be lights out terrible. Florida will go back to its 2006 offense run under Chris Leak with which they won a National Championship. Have a nice day.
2 Texas - UTEP
UTEP walked into a buzzsaw named Texas.
3 Alabama - Arkansas
Arkansas : Tackling :: Jewish People : Ham
Alabama was certainly helped by this.
4 Ole Miss - South Carolina
Fail. Not as bad as you'd think seeing as how Ole Miss was heavily overrated and also counting how Houston Nutt loses games he should never lose (but conversely he wins when he shouldn't). So yes, fail, but not that bad.
5 Penn State - Iowa
Penn State was punched in the balls for the second straight year by Corn, JoePa looked like a wet rat on the field and worse still, it was rainy and everyone was wearing white which was a terrible fashion faux pas. White after labor day!? As if!
Other Teams in the top 25:
6 Cal got obliterated by an irate Oregon team.
7 LSU dodged a bullet named Mississippi State
8 Boise State ran over Bowling Green
9 Miami's offense were consciencious observers at 11 Va Tech and refused to get off the bus in protest
12 USC was rather subdued in their yearly murdering of Washington State
13 Ohio State sleepwalked over the fighting Zookers... Terrell Pryor is still on "Overrated Watch"
14 Cincy continued its silent march to possibly going underdefeated over feisty Fresno State
15 TCU escaped Clemson
16 Oklahoma State blew up Grambling State
17 Houston skinned by TTech in an exciting game
18 Florida State OMGLOLZORZ to USF
19 BYU went nuts on Colorado State
20 Kansas and 21 Georgia survived assassination attempts from Southern Miss and Arizona St. respectively
22 North Carolina continued its wacky inconsistency against Georgia Tech
23 Michigan was a huge homecooking highway robbery call in their favor from losing to Indiana
24 Washington celebrated their win over USC last week by losing to unranked Stanford and giving up 321 rushing yards
25 Nebraska eviscerated UL-Lafayette by halftime
OMG !!!!!!!!!!! 17-7!
Elsewhere:
Michigan State finally lost a game on their own accord and not by wacky video game stupidity ways to Wisconsin. Minnesota edged by Northwestern. Notre Dame required miracle finish again to win against a Big Ten team. Tennessee looked bad against Ohio. Auburn's offense is 180 degrees different this year compared to last year solely because it scores points. Vandy beat Rice. Mizzou slipped by Nevada. K-State crushed a D2 school (calling card of Bill Snyder: D2 schools' random bloody body parts strewn across the field in Manhattan). Iowa State defeated Army... they are SO not patriotic! Baylor cruised over a D2 school. Texas A&M is 3-0!
UCONN is boring but beats teams they should. Ditto for Rutgers. NC State nipped the Wannstache. Greg Paulus hit a few late free throws to lead Syracuse over Maine. Louisville was in trouble... before they got beat by Utah. Duke won its SECOND game! Finally, BC beat Wake Forest in what scientists believe was the boringest overtime game ever.
Fin.
It's not the 4th week of the season, but we need to catalog this properly. Every Sunday-Monday we will wrap up the past week's goings ons in a simple to understand format. We talk about the top 5 in some detail, then we give one sentence about the rest of the top 25. Then for the non-ranked teams in the important conferences, we give them snippets of sentences. We do not reward mediocrity here at Potluck Sports, thus those snippets are all bound in to one giant paragraph. Enjoy.
Top 25:
1 Florida - Kentucky
Reaction by a non-UF fan: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG TIM TEBOW IS HUMAN OMG OMG OMG.
Reaction by a UF Fan: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG TIM TEBOW IS HUMAN OMG OMG OMG.
Reaction by a rational human being: Mild concussion plus side effects of the flu that had been affecting their whole roster. Florida has a bye AND without Tebow, Florida's offense will not fall apart like the economy did starting last September and it will not be lights out terrible. Florida will go back to its 2006 offense run under Chris Leak with which they won a National Championship. Have a nice day.
2 Texas - UTEP
UTEP walked into a buzzsaw named Texas.
3 Alabama - Arkansas
Arkansas : Tackling :: Jewish People : Ham
Alabama was certainly helped by this.
4 Ole Miss - South Carolina
Fail. Not as bad as you'd think seeing as how Ole Miss was heavily overrated and also counting how Houston Nutt loses games he should never lose (but conversely he wins when he shouldn't). So yes, fail, but not that bad.
5 Penn State - Iowa
Penn State was punched in the balls for the second straight year by Corn, JoePa looked like a wet rat on the field and worse still, it was rainy and everyone was wearing white which was a terrible fashion faux pas. White after labor day!? As if!
Other Teams in the top 25:
6 Cal got obliterated by an irate Oregon team.
7 LSU dodged a bullet named Mississippi State
8 Boise State ran over Bowling Green
9 Miami's offense were consciencious observers at 11 Va Tech and refused to get off the bus in protest
12 USC was rather subdued in their yearly murdering of Washington State
13 Ohio State sleepwalked over the fighting Zookers... Terrell Pryor is still on "Overrated Watch"
14 Cincy continued its silent march to possibly going underdefeated over feisty Fresno State
15 TCU escaped Clemson
16 Oklahoma State blew up Grambling State
17 Houston skinned by TTech in an exciting game
18 Florida State OMGLOLZORZ to USF
19 BYU went nuts on Colorado State
20 Kansas and 21 Georgia survived assassination attempts from Southern Miss and Arizona St. respectively
22 North Carolina continued its wacky inconsistency against Georgia Tech
23 Michigan was a huge homecooking highway robbery call in their favor from losing to Indiana
24 Washington celebrated their win over USC last week by losing to unranked Stanford and giving up 321 rushing yards
25 Nebraska eviscerated UL-Lafayette by halftime
OMG !!!!!!!!!!! 17-7!
Elsewhere:
Michigan State finally lost a game on their own accord and not by wacky video game stupidity ways to Wisconsin. Minnesota edged by Northwestern. Notre Dame required miracle finish again to win against a Big Ten team. Tennessee looked bad against Ohio. Auburn's offense is 180 degrees different this year compared to last year solely because it scores points. Vandy beat Rice. Mizzou slipped by Nevada. K-State crushed a D2 school (calling card of Bill Snyder: D2 schools' random bloody body parts strewn across the field in Manhattan). Iowa State defeated Army... they are SO not patriotic! Baylor cruised over a D2 school. Texas A&M is 3-0!
UCONN is boring but beats teams they should. Ditto for Rutgers. NC State nipped the Wannstache. Greg Paulus hit a few late free throws to lead Syracuse over Maine. Louisville was in trouble... before they got beat by Utah. Duke won its SECOND game! Finally, BC beat Wake Forest in what scientists believe was the boringest overtime game ever.
Fin.
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