Rush Limbaugh, Michael Vick, and a Bag of Rocks

Posted by Red Herring

[Ed Note: This is the first post by the frequent contributor, Red Herring.]

I can hear you now. You get what the first two have to do with each other, but what about the third? What would a bag of rocks have anything to do with Rush Limbaugh and Michael Vick? Here is your answer: (unless there has been late breaking bag of rocks news that I’m not current on) NOTHING. Yet according to the NFL, Rush Limbaugh is just as qualified as a bag of rocks to be part of an ownership group in the NFL. At the other end of the spectrum Michael Vick is more qualified than Rush Limbaugh to be part of the NFL and therefore more qualified than a bag of rocks. Maybe if we compare the three we will see some correlation that allows us to understand how Michael Vick is a welcome part of the NFL and Rush Limbaugh is not up to par for membership in the NFL family. I’ll examine some pertinent traits of each of my three subjects and then we can draw our own conclusions.

Rush:
- Conservative personality (and therefore evil!)
- Radio host (and therefore evil!)
- Has tons of money he wants to spend owning the abomination that is the St. Louis Rams. (Maybe not evil, but clearly a warning sign concerning his sanity).
- Has said some very stupid things. (This has never happened in the history of the NFL).
- Has had several players say they won’t play for any team he is involved with.

At this point I have to call bull. I simply cannot believe that if Rush were to own a pro team, players would not play on that team out of some sense of moral revulsion. If we know one thing about NFL players (and all pro players in every sport up to and including professional chicken punting) it is this, they will go play for the team that signs the biggest check. I can hear you, “Oh no, not [insert players name here] he would never go play for that dirt bag!” To which I respond, your favorite player on your favorite team would go play for the guy who ran over his dog if he was the highest bidder for his services. It is a simple truth of pro sports and you know as well as I know that it is true. If you want a cite for my thesis I suggest you simply look at EVERY FREE AGENT SIGNING IN THE LAST 20 YEARS! Looking at you Johnny Damon. Are there exceptions to the rule? Certainly, but in the majority of those cases the people who decide to take less money to go somewhere else are already millionaires who are making the decision based on what is best for them in their personal lives. But I digress, back to our categories.

Vick:
- Convicted felon (but not a conservative personality!)
- Funded a dog fighting ring (but not a conservative personality!)
- Has never said anything stupid! (EVER!)
- Engaged in the torture and killing of animals that did not perform up to his standards of brutality and aggressiveness when he forced them to fight for their lives. (Would put a whole new spin on training camp starter competitions).
- Can make amazing plays with his feet and entertain the crowd. (Gotta give it to him there).

I want to be clear at this point (breaking new ground here), I think the NFL should include or exclude anyone they want based on their own personal and professional evaluation of the costs and the benefits associated with their inclusion in the league. That is their right. I, however, have a right to point out when the NFL is completely full of crap. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell recently stated about Rush: “Divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about. I’ve said many times before, we’re all held to a high standard here. I would not want to see those comments coming from people who are in a responsible position in the NFL.” So Mr. Goodell has apparently drawn a line in the sand, convicted felons and animal cruelty are perfectly fine with the NFL as long as you are willing to pretend you are sorry. However, those who state their opinions about matters of public concern are not allowed in the league. Not the most intelligent policy, but once again, his league, his rules. I mean, the NFL has never had an owner who engaged in politics or actively supported a cause. Not even when Dan Rooney thanked Obama for all his help in the Steelers winning the Super Bowl .That didn’t happen; we are not remembering it that way. By the way, congratulations to Mr. Rooney for his appointment as ambassador to Ireland!

It comes down to this, I don’t like hypocrisy. I don’t like double standards. I don’t like being told that someone is not of moral fiber sufficient to be a member of the NFL family because of the words he has spoken, while at the same time the very same person tells me that another man who has committed crimes that I personally find repugnant, is allowed in because he is sorry. If the NFL wants to pretend that Rush Limbaugh would somehow destroy the NFL community if he was included in an ownership group they better damn well do the same thing when other owners or potential owners make comments that the other half of America might not agree with. Mr. Goodell, I eagerly await your comments concerning Mr. Rooney and his support for the current administration which must certainly be divisive and therefore against your own stated policy. Of course, Mr. Goodell won’t be making those comments because they would be ludicrous, like the ones he made about Rush Limbaugh.

Maybe the explanation is much simpler; the ownership group Mr. Limbaugh was involved in wants to keep the Rams in St. Louis. Maybe the NFL doesn’t want to keep them there. The entire explanation for this could be as simple as the L.A. Rams version 2.0.

Oh, and in case you were wondering about the Bag of Rocks. What the hell is the matter with you? It doesn’t have anything to do with the NFL, kinda like your political views.