200th Post: Perfection - One Man's Account of Roy Halladay's Perfect Game

by Red Herring

[Note: PLS's own Red Herring was at the Marlins/Phillies game for this memorable occasion.]

Perfection:

Living in South Florida I have a plethora of entertainment options on a Saturday. Luckily for me I choose to attend the Phillies-Marlins game. At this point I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that My wife, Mrs. Red, was the driving force behind this decision. I didn’t even know who was pitching until I was already in the car and asked my wife to look up the probable pitchers. Tonight its Halladay and Johnson she read to me off the Marlins webpage. I told her, that’s a really good pitching matchup I’m excited about this now.

The first three innings were spent like most normal innings are when you’re at a ball game. Ordering a beer, ordering a second beer, the trek to the concession stand where and selecting something that will probably take five minutes off my life. By the fifth inning I did notice something. The Marlins had no hits, I think to myself, have they had any base runners? A quick check of the box score on my iPhone tells me no, they haven’t had a single base on balls.

Holly crap! This is a perfect game I’m watching! But it’s only the fifth, plenty of time for the Marlins to get someone on base and break it up.

There are certain rules to watching a perfect game. But you only need to remember one rule to do it properly. YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE PERFECT GAME. Why am I telling you this? Because the gaggle of middle school aged boys behind me seems to have forgotten that very simple rule. From the fifth inning on these children were mentioning perfect game, saying perfect game and doing everything short of lighting a fire and sending smoke signals to people on the other side of the stadium alerting them to the perfect game they were watching. This pissed me off. Being a baseball fan I know that there have only been 19 perfect games in the history of the game. 19! Professional baseball has been played in this country for over 100 years and a perfect game has happened 19 times and these kids are doing everything they can to jinx it. Instead of being able to tell their children I saw a perfect game they will be able to say “I saw Roy Halladay pitch a perfect game into the 6th inning. That’s bush.

Anyway back to the game. I started taking notes on my iPhone when I realized what was going on but honestly, at some point between the fifth and seventh inning I just put it away and started watching. Simply put, Roy Halladay is the best pitcher in baseball. He was not on the same level as the rest of the players on the field that night. He was hitting his spots and not over thinking it. I can’t remember him shaking off his catcher a single time. He threw the ball, caught the ball and then threw the ball again. He was calm and deliberate and most importantly not over thinking things. Far too often athletes will over think what they’re doing and proceed to screw it up. Not Ol’ Roy. He was masterful, he trusted his catcher to call the right pitches and his defense to make plays behind him.

Roy started to fall behind batters after the Seventh inning. He was in several three ball counts but the Marlins seemed to understand that you just don’t break up a perfect game in the eighth inning with a base on balls and they proceeded to swing freely at three ball counts. (or they knew that either the ump wasn’t going to give them a base on balls or Halladay would proceed to beat their brains in on the way to first if they even thought about trying to work a walk against him.)

I had a direct view into the Phillies dugout from my seats and I could see that everyone was treating Roy like he had the plague. Which is another rule for a perfect game. You don’t pat the guy on the back, or talk to him or look at him. You stay as far away as you can, but not too far away. You avoid looking at him, but don’t make it look like you’re trying not to look at him. You sit down, stay away and take your at bats when you come up in the order. I’m sure you also pray that you’re not the one who screws this thing up because you know that you’ll never be able to live it down. Roy was left alone to continue his dominance and it worked out pretty well.

Sometimes you don’t realize how fast the game is played unless you’re actually sitting in the stadium and watching it firsthand. When something happens in a ball game it happens quick. Leading off the eighth Jorge Cantu hit a screamer to third and Juan Castro scooped it up and threw Canto out. On TV this looked like a nice play. In person you see things a little differently, everyone in the stadium held their breath when that ball came off Cantu’s bat. Castro lunged to his left and snared it on the hop and made an easy throw to first to get Cantu, but I have never seen a more exciting play in person. It was quick, it was skillful and it was calm sometimes we don’t give enough credit to players for making the easy plays but we have to remember even the easy ones in the bigs are still darn hard to come up with.

Simply put everything that Roy had done that night was in the hands of Castro and Castro didn’t let him down. It was clutch, it was money and it was probably the most important play of the game.

By the time we hit the bottom of the ninth everyone was on their feet. The tension was rolling off of everyone in the stadium, and while there might have been a few die hard Marlins fans there (I know they exist, just not in large numbers or at the actual game very often) everyone else was wishing and rooting and screaming for Halladay to get it done. And he did.

Perfection existed for one man on one Saturday night in Florida. He did everything right, and he was rewarded with joining the most exclusive list of pitchers in the history of the game. Halladay was perfect, and the scary part? He didn’t even look like he was trying very hard to do it.

Hustle

by Red Herring

We tolerate many things in our professional athletes. From DUIs to sexual assault allegations to murdering dogs. (Fuck you Michael Vick you walking piece of shit I hope you die in a fucking fire.) But one thing that we don’t tolerate is lack of effort. You can be almost anything you want to be outside the lines, but the second your feet hit that playing field you better be giving everything you’ve got. Hanley Ramirez is paying the price for not giving everything he had during a game. Just like the old rule, “if you think you might be gay then you’re gay.” If a player is ever accused of giving questionable effort it’s because he wasn’t trying.

As a people we are extremely forgiving. Get drunk and drive, that’s ok as long as you don’t kill anyone. Have sex with a woman in the bathroom at a bar? Well that’s your word against hers and I guess we have to give you the benefit of the doubt. Be a barbaric asshat and murder dogs in as many ways as you can? FUCK YOU VICK YOU SHITBURGER I HOPE A FUCKING ELEPHANT USES YOU AS A HUMAN SIZED SUPPOSITORY. I mean, give a half-hearted press conference where you say you’re sorry and we’ll let the whole thing slide. But Han-Ram didn’t even have the intelligence to do that, instead when asked about being benched he had a temper tantrum where he said his manager doesn’t know shit about baseball because he didn’t play in the majors. Ramirez has realized that the public wasn’t going to put up with his petulant attitude and has since issued an apology but once you do something like this no one forgets about it. Anyone remember how popular Roberto Alomar was before he spit in that umpires face? No, what everyone remembers is a guy spitting in the umps face on national television. Guess what Hanley, this was your Waterloo and unfortunately you just played the part of Napoleon.

So long popular Han-Ram, we hardly knew ya.

Fuck you Vick.

Things I Hate

By Red Herring

The use of the word hero or term warrior or any other synonym when referring to an athlete:

Hitting a homerun a hero does not make. Gaining an extra yard to convert the fourth and 2 and essentially win the game even though there is still 2 minutes left in the game does not make you a soldier. It might make you clutch, or money, or solid. But it doesn’t make you a hero. Bottom line on this one, if you play a game that children play on a regular basis playing said game does not make you a warrior. (this doesn’t apply to those children who reside in Detroit or Chicago, their games do actually involve life and death, unfortunately.) Get over yourself, you play a game for my enjoyment and the world would go on with or without you.

People trying to explain why an athlete does something stupid :

Stupid people can be good at things. Sports is an excellent example. Lenny Dykstra stock picking genius anyone? Are you stupid? Can you hit a baseball? This qualifies you to be an investment guru. Athletes being stupid is an American institution. Apple pie, Chevrolet and stupid jocks. So when a very rich moron does something stupid we cannot be surprised, or try to explain it away. It happened because you took one part idiot and one part shitload of money and put the two together. Your favorite athlete may be great at sports, but he is not necessarily good at life. Get over it.

Your lucky anything:

Guess what, unless you happen to root for the most current champion in any given sport and your lucky charm is only a season old it isn’t a lucky charm. It is a trinket that has absolutely no connection to the outcome of any game. UNLESS the lucky trinket belongs to me, in that case it is absolutely positively necessary that I follow the same ritual if it worked in a prior occurrence. If I move my chair and Mo blows a save, it is on me. If I lean a certain way when I fart and after that Tex hits a homerun guess which way I’m leaning every team he comes up to bat and I have the urge to let off a little steam? If the Gators win a game when I have a certain shirt on it will be on every time until the Gators lose a game. But your lucky stuff? All shit.

More to come…

Our Staff Progressively Gets Older

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Since he got a job and likely won't be on to say so himself, we at PLS would like to wish our own Red Herring a very happy birthday today. We suspect that Red is only slightly less irritable today than he is usually.

Dip Etiquette and My Favorite Dips

By Red Herring

The big game is almost here! You know what that means, Super Bowl parties and glorious glorious dip spreads! But before you did in there are a few rules that you have to follow. A dippers guide to the universe if you will.

First: No double dipping!

This is the most important rule to follow and it can make or break your dipping reputation! This is the Alpha and the Omega of the dipping world, you can’t go wrong by following it but you will certainly go wrong by disregarding it! There are always some who say “but it broke off before my lips even touched it so it’s not really a double dip!” Well I’m here to tell you that it is. If you have trouble following this rule just remember one chip one dip.

Second: No dip hogging!

You know who you are, the guy who hangs around the dip like a corner back on a wide receiver. You’ve found something you like and you will be damned if you don’t get all of it for yourself. Well I’ve got to tell you you’re an ass and no one likes you. Share the dip! It’s a party not an excuse for you to see if you can actually eat an entire stick of Velveeta cheese.

Third: If you are hosting a party you must have more then one dip.

Variety is the spice of life. If you are hosting a party you cannot simply plop down an open container of French onion dip and call it a day. You must have at least two different dips preferably some kind of cheese dip and then another meat and or spinach and artichoke dip. If you don’t have these you have failed at your Super Bowl party spread and the only thing your friends and coworkers will be talking about on Monday will be how shitty your dip was and not how shitty the game was.

Now my favorite part of any dip article the dip recopies!

Mrs. Red Herring has been gracious enough to supply PLS with a few of her world famous dip recipes. These are by far the best dips I’ve ever had and you would be doing yourself a huge favor by including them at your next party.

Chili Con Queso Dip

1 15 oz can of Chili

1 16 oz block of Velveeta cheese

Put both ingredients in a bowl, microwave for five minutes, stopping occasionally to stir.

Red’s take: This is the fasted and maybe tastiest dip on the list. It also might be the tastiest! This is a great snack and takes only five minutes to prepare. Best eaten with strong tortilla chips because this dip is so thick and hearty that a lesser chip could crumble before its might.

Spinach and Artichoke Dip

1 cup mayo

1 cup parmesan cheese

1 can (14 oz) artichoke hearts – drained and chopped

1 package (9 oz) frozen spinach – drained

¼ cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix mayo, parmesan cheese, artichokes, and spinach. Spoon mixture into a casserole dish and sprinkle with the mozzarella cheese. Cover and bake for 20 minutes.

Red’s take: I love this dip, this is way better than anything you’ve had at TGIF and your guests will love it. It takes a little more work than the Chili Con Queso dip but it is worth it.

Nacho Dip

One pound ground beef

One 7 oz can chopped green chilies

One small onion, chopped

One 15 oz can of tomato sauce

Chili powder

Salt and Pepper

Cheddar Cheese

One tomato

Green onions

Jalapenos

Sour cream

Brown the ground beef, add the chopped onion, the tomato sauce, and the green chilies. Season to taste with the salt and pepper and chili powder. Simmer mixture approximately 20 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour meat mixture into a large casserole dish. Top with a layer of cheddar cheese and bake for a few minutes in the oven until the cheese melts. Top with chopped tomatoes, green onions, jalapenos, and spoonfuls of sour cream.

Note – also good with a bottom layer of refried beans.

Red’s take: This is it, the ultimate in super bowl party dips. You make this and people won’t even watch the game they will simply line up to take turns getting their chips into this dip! It takes a little more work than the other recipes but the final product will blow you away.

That’s it folks, enjoy your dipping. Oh and by the way, I’m picking the Colts to win in a blow out.

Tim Tebow Wants You to Keep That Baby

By Red Herring

Michael Jordan was once asked to support a particular candidate in an election in North Carolina but he refused. Why? To quote MJ “Republicans buy sneakers too.” Many professional athletes simply do not become involved in social issues or simply don’t want to get involved. Charles Barkley famously said “I’m no role model.” But just because some athletes decide to stay out of the quagmire that is endorsing one view or another doesn’t mean that they all do.

Tim Tebow has never made a secret about which side of the line he seems to fall on. His pro-life stance is not a secret. It’s a well known fact. He doesn’t shy away from it, he wears it on his sleeve (or eye-black) if you will. He is who he is and there is nothing you can do to change it.

I’ve not seen the TV ad yet. But from what I understand the message is simple, choose life. It talks about the choices Tebow’s mother was confronted with when she was carrying little Tim. This is not a controversial message. This is not a message that should be making people upset. This isn’t a message that should be garnering the ire from a certain segment of the population. How can anyone be upset with an ad that says, “please, don’t have an abortion.”

But Tebow is taking a big risk in sending this message. By sending it he is risking endorsement deals, his popularity with the left and possibly even his draft status (not that his senior bowl workouts have been helping that much). But he is standing for something he believes in, something that Michael Jordan wouldn’t do when it could have cost him money. There is a certain honor associated with taking a stand and following through with it. Tim knows that people are going to disagree with what he has to say, but he is going to say it anyway, because that is how he feels and it is what he believes in.

It is this author’s opinion that if more people were willing to actually practice what they preach then we would live in a much better world. The fact that Tebow is doing exactly that shouldn’t be repugnant to people, it should be liberating.

How much the Holidays would suck without sports

By Red Herring

Imagine if you will sitting in a room about 10 minutes before your team is going to play its bowl game. In this room is you, your wife, your sister in law, your brother in law, your father in law, an uncle who smells of scotch and cigarettes and a screaming baby that just happens to belong to said sister and brother in law. Dante left a circle of hell out when he wrote the Inferno.

What would we do without sports during the holidays? How would we get through thanksgiving with our great aunt Mildred who insists that we listen to her stories about the good ole days when “those people” knew their place and you could buy a car with three dollars and thirty-two cents? How important is it that we have sports on a holiday. It’s so important that I find myself eagerly awaiting the start of the Lions game. The LIONS! Simply put, we have to have these escapes. Watching the Lions in their annual turkey day termination has probably gotten me through more thanksgivings then a bottle of Jack and a metric assload of horse tranquilizers ever could have.

If we couldn’t escape into the world of sports during the holidays what would we do? There is only so much of the in-laws that a man can take. But thanks to sports we don’t have to consider what the barrel of your shotgun would taste like. (cold, hard and with a somehow tangy yet zincky taste to it by the way) With sports we can block all of that out, we can yell at the TV and also drink your fill of beers without being “judged.” Sports gives us something to do, something to look forward to other then sleeping in and going to bed early to avoid the most vapid members of your family. Simply put, without sports I feel that the holidays would turn into a bloodbath of anger and frustration that would quite possibly result in the fall of western civilization. Sports gives you an excuse to be anti-social, an excuse to ignore the nagging questions, an excuse to curse in front of your 98 year old great-grandmother.

So, the next time you think to yourself, “who the hell wants to watch the Lions get their asses kicked on thanksgiving?” You have an answer, Red does.

In response to a Marlins fan, why your team should move and why it is all your fault.

By Red Herring

I’m about to lawyer Slate.

The Location of the stadium:

South Florida has a lot of things, but one of the things it doesn’t have is a major rail infrastructure to move massive amounts of people around. The truth is that South Florida is the most excellent example of urban sprawl I can think of. Everything is far away from everything else and if you want to get somewhere you either have to drive a car or take a bus. Now this alone doesn’t mean that a team will fail but it sure doesn’t help in their attendance. Slate suggests that moving the stadium to a “better” part of South Florida will result in an increase in attendance. I argue that the Dolphins already play in the apparent cesspool that is Land Shark Stadium and manage to draw very good crowds. If the stadium isn’t the problem then what is?

Maybe the product that the team puts on the field is the problem. But wait, this Marlins team, this lowest attendance numbers of any National League team, has won not one but TWO World Series titles in its short life. How can this be?

Good attendance when they are winning?:

Simply put even when the Marlins put a quality team on the field the fans don’t show up, and you can’t blame that on the stadium because we know that another pro team plays in the same stadium and is able to draw capacity crowds. In 2003 the year that the Marlins won their second World Series the Marlins only beat two teams in terms of home attendance, the Washington Nationals and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. So even when the Marlins manage to put a quality team on the field the fans still stay away and that is something you cannot blame on the stadium.

The finances of the team:

Another argument that has been presented is that the Marlins struggle to draw crowds because of the oppressive contract they have with the stadium. Well, research being something I tend to do before I simply go off on tangents, I decided to look at what the Marlins spend on salary and what they received from MLB’s revenue sharing agreement. I feel that this site explains what the Marlins do best by examining what the Marlins did in 2006 ”By shedding these stars, Florida was able to cut its payroll down to $14.9 million in 2006, which is less than 20% of the Major League average of $78 million. It was also less than half of the $31 million in revenue sharing dollars the team received that year. So, rather than using the money to retain or attract on-field talent, the owners took it as part of the team's MLB best $43 million profit in 2006.” You can’t blame a bad contract with a stadium for simply refusing to spend money on players, what this telling statistic tells us is that even if the Marlins were getting 100% of the money being spent at the stadium they still wouldn’t have spent it on payroll, and when it is clear the team is not in it to win it why should the fans bother to make the trek to the stadium?

The finances argument fails because it is clear that the Marlins ownership group won’t spend money, not that they can’t. Maybe that was just that one year? Nope, this article points out that this kind of thing has been going on for a long time. So, I’m sorry to say, the claim that the Marlins have no money to spend is simply not true. They have money to spend they just don’t do it. So even if the fans would come to the game, which they don’t, they won’t spend any money on putting a quality team on the field anyway.

Cities that should have Major League teams and Cities that shouldn’t

By Red Herring.

We all know them, those teams that just don’t make sense. The sports equivalent of trying to put a square peg into a round hole. I’ve decided in my infinite wisdom (Ed. Note - HAHAHAHA!) to examine a few of these frustrated franchises and explore where they could better plant their roots.

Our first installment is:

The Florida Marlins

I know I know, they have a new stadium coming and a new name coming with it. But guess what, attendance figures don’t lie. Now I know what some people (including some people who happen to write for this very blog) are going to say, “but.. but… but… the Marlins have solid middle of the road TV ratings.” Well guess what, TV ratings don’t buy Hot dogs and Soda for the kiddies for 8 bucks a pop or a beer for $14.99. During one point in their illustrious history the marlins managed to draw about 400 people to a game against the Nationals, so few people that a fan was thrown out for arguing with an umpire! Living in South Florida for a significant part of my life I can tell you one thing with certainty, the only sports team with fins that people in south Florida care about play football and that is not going to change anytime soon.

For whatever reason South Florida has not embraced Major League Baseball and it is time for the two sides to say that they gave it a good go but have decided to move on. But where, where do we send the now homeless Marlins? They need to go somewhere that has a solid fan base and a big market. That is why I humbly suggest that the Marlins move to Indianapolis.

They will have to change their name because let’s be honest, the Indianapolis Marlins just sounds silly. So let’s call them the Indianapolis Wildcats. The region is more than big enough to support a major league team and the triple-A team the Indianapolis Indians have excellent attendance numbers. If they can get 549,552 people to come to see a minor league team play in a year then they certainly can get enough people into the seats to support a major league team.

So ladies and gentlemen that is my opening salvo in the Marlins should move discussion. What do you think? Leave a comment and I’ll respond to your thoughts, or I won’t, you’re not the boss of me.

One Easy Test for Determining Whether Your Coach Should Keep His Job

By Red Herring

There are several college coaches on the hot seat right now. Bobby Bowden and Charlie Weis are the first to come to mind. But what does it take for a coach to go from embattled leader to unemployed millionaire? I have developed one simple litmus test for determining whether or not any college program should retain their head coach. Simply put, if your rivals want you to keep your coach then you absolutely, positively must fire that man. A case study might be enlightening, we need only to look to Phillip Fulmer, or Phat Phil as he was lovingly called by his former players (oh please let this be true). At the end of his time at Rocky Top every single one of Tennessee’s rivals wanted only one thing, for Tennessee to retain the services of Mr. Fulmer. Why? Because he couldn’t beat anyone, no one was worried about facing Tennessee. Simply put, he sucked so hard at every aspect of the game that people who hated Tennessee wanted him to remain there for the next 20 years.

So here is Red Herring’s rule of thumb, if your rivals want your coach to stay you must immediately fire that coach. I don’t care if he has been there for 10 years. I don’t care if he has won a national championship. I don’t care if he is a few hours away from curing cancer and developing a diet soda that actually tastes good. You must fire him immediately and then hire, Charlie Strong.

Note to SEC officials

By Red Herring

What do you do when you have a College Football head coach that is going around setting your referees on fire? If you picked fine Urban Meyer $30,000 for pointing out a blatant missed call then you might have what it takes to be the commissioner of the SEC. Lane Kiffin spent an entire airing of the Lane Kiffin football and donkey show blasting the refs for every missed call and every call that went against his team. Kiffin’s punishment? A stern reprimand which ranks somewhere around a 5 minute time-out and being flogged with a wet noodle. The SEC did the equivalent of punishing everyone else but the perpetrator as a way to send a message to the guy who actually committed the wrong. The fact that everyone knows this is ridiculous only underlines the epic fail associated with this move, way to go Mike Slive I’m sure you’ve taught all the coaches a lesson.

A special thank you to Lane Kiffin who must simply be rolling around on the ground in joy at the idea that because of his epic jackassory he managed to get Urban fined for a mild comment about a play no one can disagree with.

WNBA: The Punishment Roadshow

by: Slate and Red

The WNBA’s Detroit Shock reportedly are leaving Detroit for Tulsa Oklahoma, which begs the question what did Tulsa ever do to the Shock to deserve this punishment. Tulsa is probably a nice town but just because the Thunder are doing well in the NBA doesn't mean that a WNBA team (which does bad everywhere) will do well with a regular fan base. The Thunder, by the way, are expected to take a hit this year and next year because their team will suck and the honeymoon will be over as that "new team" smell will turn to toxic sludge because THEY STOLE A TEAM FROM A PROUD CITY. Anyway the Detroit Shock are supposed to be one of the better franchises in Women's Association, this cannot be good for a league who has been hemorrhaging money for the last decade. If not for the fact that the NBA doles out more money than today's Congress (rimshot)the WNBA would have folded years ago.

Now we must go to an old standby:

YAY! They wear uniforms just like the men!

Rush Limbaugh, Michael Vick, and a Bag of Rocks

Posted by Red Herring

[Ed Note: This is the first post by the frequent contributor, Red Herring.]

I can hear you now. You get what the first two have to do with each other, but what about the third? What would a bag of rocks have anything to do with Rush Limbaugh and Michael Vick? Here is your answer: (unless there has been late breaking bag of rocks news that I’m not current on) NOTHING. Yet according to the NFL, Rush Limbaugh is just as qualified as a bag of rocks to be part of an ownership group in the NFL. At the other end of the spectrum Michael Vick is more qualified than Rush Limbaugh to be part of the NFL and therefore more qualified than a bag of rocks. Maybe if we compare the three we will see some correlation that allows us to understand how Michael Vick is a welcome part of the NFL and Rush Limbaugh is not up to par for membership in the NFL family. I’ll examine some pertinent traits of each of my three subjects and then we can draw our own conclusions.

Rush:
- Conservative personality (and therefore evil!)
- Radio host (and therefore evil!)
- Has tons of money he wants to spend owning the abomination that is the St. Louis Rams. (Maybe not evil, but clearly a warning sign concerning his sanity).
- Has said some very stupid things. (This has never happened in the history of the NFL).
- Has had several players say they won’t play for any team he is involved with.

At this point I have to call bull. I simply cannot believe that if Rush were to own a pro team, players would not play on that team out of some sense of moral revulsion. If we know one thing about NFL players (and all pro players in every sport up to and including professional chicken punting) it is this, they will go play for the team that signs the biggest check. I can hear you, “Oh no, not [insert players name here] he would never go play for that dirt bag!” To which I respond, your favorite player on your favorite team would go play for the guy who ran over his dog if he was the highest bidder for his services. It is a simple truth of pro sports and you know as well as I know that it is true. If you want a cite for my thesis I suggest you simply look at EVERY FREE AGENT SIGNING IN THE LAST 20 YEARS! Looking at you Johnny Damon. Are there exceptions to the rule? Certainly, but in the majority of those cases the people who decide to take less money to go somewhere else are already millionaires who are making the decision based on what is best for them in their personal lives. But I digress, back to our categories.

Vick:
- Convicted felon (but not a conservative personality!)
- Funded a dog fighting ring (but not a conservative personality!)
- Has never said anything stupid! (EVER!)
- Engaged in the torture and killing of animals that did not perform up to his standards of brutality and aggressiveness when he forced them to fight for their lives. (Would put a whole new spin on training camp starter competitions).
- Can make amazing plays with his feet and entertain the crowd. (Gotta give it to him there).

I want to be clear at this point (breaking new ground here), I think the NFL should include or exclude anyone they want based on their own personal and professional evaluation of the costs and the benefits associated with their inclusion in the league. That is their right. I, however, have a right to point out when the NFL is completely full of crap. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell recently stated about Rush: “Divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about. I’ve said many times before, we’re all held to a high standard here. I would not want to see those comments coming from people who are in a responsible position in the NFL.” So Mr. Goodell has apparently drawn a line in the sand, convicted felons and animal cruelty are perfectly fine with the NFL as long as you are willing to pretend you are sorry. However, those who state their opinions about matters of public concern are not allowed in the league. Not the most intelligent policy, but once again, his league, his rules. I mean, the NFL has never had an owner who engaged in politics or actively supported a cause. Not even when Dan Rooney thanked Obama for all his help in the Steelers winning the Super Bowl .That didn’t happen; we are not remembering it that way. By the way, congratulations to Mr. Rooney for his appointment as ambassador to Ireland!

It comes down to this, I don’t like hypocrisy. I don’t like double standards. I don’t like being told that someone is not of moral fiber sufficient to be a member of the NFL family because of the words he has spoken, while at the same time the very same person tells me that another man who has committed crimes that I personally find repugnant, is allowed in because he is sorry. If the NFL wants to pretend that Rush Limbaugh would somehow destroy the NFL community if he was included in an ownership group they better damn well do the same thing when other owners or potential owners make comments that the other half of America might not agree with. Mr. Goodell, I eagerly await your comments concerning Mr. Rooney and his support for the current administration which must certainly be divisive and therefore against your own stated policy. Of course, Mr. Goodell won’t be making those comments because they would be ludicrous, like the ones he made about Rush Limbaugh.

Maybe the explanation is much simpler; the ownership group Mr. Limbaugh was involved in wants to keep the Rams in St. Louis. Maybe the NFL doesn’t want to keep them there. The entire explanation for this could be as simple as the L.A. Rams version 2.0.

Oh, and in case you were wondering about the Bag of Rocks. What the hell is the matter with you? It doesn’t have anything to do with the NFL, kinda like your political views.