Nothing's Going on in the NHL

By Annie Detroit

Unlike the NCAA, there are no undefeated teams. Unlike the NFL, there isn't a senior citizen leading the league in all offensive categories (Joe Thorton is only 30 so he doesn't count). I've been searching around for the last 20 minutes on ESPN and NHL.com looking for some interesting story to blog about regarding the NHL. I can't find anything interesting to blog about.

The NHL is boring. No one is chasing any long standing cherished records, there are no heated rivalries that command the attention of viewers across the nation. There isn't even a scandal going on right now. The biggest news I could find was Buffalo's Patrick Kaleta being suspended for hitting a guy (I saw the hit, it wasn't that bad). So what is going on in the NHL?

Well, most of the teams are about where they should be standings-wise. The biggest surprise I see is Detroit almost at the bottom of their division for the first time since the 80's. I would blog about that, but I'm sure most of you don't want to hear a Red Wings fan complaining about the Red Wings, so I am pleading the fifth on this particular issue until spring.

The fact of the matter is the start of this season has been a tad disappointing in my view. The top scorer right now is Joe Thorton, not big surprise. The top team right now is the San Jose Sharks, not quite straying from my preseason prediction though I focused more on the end of the season for these guys. That's really all the excitement for now. Forgive me for not being on the edge of my seat. Even Crosby and Ovechkin have been exceedingly quiet this year thus far.

Why is that? Why is the NHL boring? Perhaps it's because no one is attempting to hype things up? I'm not sure if I've mentioned it yet on the blog, but I hate Versus. They do a terrible job and I feel they are a large part of this lack of interest in the NHL. Football, baseball, soccer, and basketball are on ESPN, and ESPN makes sure you know it. They talk about it on Sportscenter, they show commercials like crazy, and they have their other commentary shows (PTI, Around the Horn) covering everything as well. We would be lucky if Tony Cornheiser and Mike Wilbon talk about hockey, and Tony Riali only brings it up once in a blue moon (usually when the only hockey afficianado Tim Cowlishaw is absent). ESPN isn't there for the NHL to hype up every play and make that one hit on that one guy a huge deal and turn it into a scandal. While I think ESPN often over-exaggerates things, they know how to get people interested. So screw you Versus, no one wants to watch bull-riding after a hockey game.

Something I've noticed in the last few years. You know at the beginning of SportsCenter when they show a bunch of one second clips to go along with the theme music? Well, whenever they show NHL clips, they always show guys getting rocked into the boards or flying forward and landing on their faces or celebrating a goal. If these are the things that are exciting about the NHL, then why is the NHL trying to get rid of them? Hmm, interesting.

But maybe it isn't a network thing? Maybe it's the league that needs to step up. All year around, the NFL shows commercials about how great they are and how if you don't watch the season opener in three months the world will most likely end. I really only see commercials for the NHL while I'm already watching the NHL. Real smart guys. I'm already watching!! And you know what else? Sidney Crosby isn't good at speaking in front of a camera, try someone else! The NHL doesn't have aggressive add campaigns, familar faces that you can throw in a Sears commercial, or a video game that has people lining up at the local GameStop for the midnight release. It seems as though the NHL has accepted this mentality that they will never be as popular as the other sports that occupy the headlines.

To correct these problems, I suggest a few simple steps:

1. Dump Versus like a bad habit. They are terrible and no one watches them even if they have a cable package that carries them.

2. Get back on ESPN. They know how to work a crowd.

3. Disco Demolition Night?

4. The NHL needs to do a better job getting their names out there. To the casual observer (the south) people don't know who guys like Joe Thorton and Marian Gaborik are.

5. Kill Gary Bettman; I just feel that will solve everything.

It's not like any of these things are impossible (although I doubt anyone would provide the permits to set fire to vinyls within an ice arena), so it's not like I'm asking a lot. If all these are done, the NHL will find itself back in the mix with the other pro sports and not just watching from the sidelines.

I will volunteer to head up the committee to complete #5.

Nostalgia Time 1987

By Annie Detroit

You just don't see this anymore:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOI3mwK5YLw

If you're thinking, "Well, Steve Yzerman is not a fighter and Kevin Maguire was cheap shooting and being a wuss!" That's not exactly what I'm talking about. Other than the obvious point of overall fighting being down all of the league, much to the dismay of many fans and players, you don't see guys stand up for themselves anymore! Jerk on Team A hits Lady Bing candidate on Team B. What should happen is either Lady Bing candidate from Team B defends himself and pops Jerk on Team A OR Jerk from Team B jumps off the bench and totally pummels Jerk from Team A. What we see now is Jerk from Team A cheap shots Lady Bing candidate from Team B and Lady Bing candidate from Team B lays on the ice until a penalty is called.

Lest we forget one of my favorite fights of all time and one that I've already linked on this blog, McCarty v. Lemieux 1997. That whole fight was that ideal scenario. McCarty didn't give Lemieux two shakes before that awful hit on Draper the previous playoff season. That whole rivalry was based on one incident and the retaliation. Where is that kind of heat and passion in the NHL? I mean, the worst we've seen in recent years was Sean Avery and the whole "Sloppy Seconds" thing. That didn't even happen on the ice! Then what happened? Avery was suspended. Where's the fun in that? They should've let him play and every player who was offended by that comment would have beat the living snot out of him. Now that's justice.

I've been noticing this lack of passion in the game over the last few seasons, not only because the Wings/Avs rivalry and simmered down exponentially, but because no new rivalries are cropping up. The only real rivalry I can think of right now is Montreal/Toronto, and that's been around for a century and it's pretty much tradition at this point. Rivalries in the NHL aren't created through winning and losing like Darth Bettman would like you to believe. Division rivalries are shallow, and even though you play a team 100 times a season doesn't mean they're going to learn to hate each other, they're just going to get sick of each other. Detroit and St. Louis have been in the same division since the Blues' birth and there's no rivalry there.

Let players get mad. Let them make it personal. Let them go out for revenge. That's what makes this sport exciting to watch. Maybe soap opera isn't the best analogy, but it kind of is. Let them jaw at each other and let them have at it. And to the players: Cause a little bit of trouble, please. It keeps things interesting.

What to Eat While Watching Hockey

By Annie Detroit

Hockey is a great spectator sport. While being there to witness the action and spectacle of the game is great. You can be reclined in the Laz-Y-Boy in your living room and enjoy it almost as well. The best part is that the food and beer are cheaper. The possibilities of hockey snacking are almost endless. I do, however, have some tips for any one out there who still watches hockey (or can, thanks to Versus which no one has).

When snacking while watching hockey, try to refrain from really messy foods. While few things satisfy more than hot BBQ wings and a cold one, eating really messy foods while watching hockey could be detrimental. It is very easy to get into a hockey game. When I watch, yelling and forehead smacking often ensue, and if your fingers are covered with sauce or other sticky, drippy residues, it could get ugly. Especially for those out there flying with the DVRs. You just saw Sidney get flattened on his butt and you want to be able to record and rewind so you can enjoy it all through the intermission of the live game. Well, if you're hands are all messy you can't very well drive the remote! So watch out the sloppy finger foods. Stick to the boneless wings that you can eat with a fork (pinky up, of course).

This little guy needs a moist towelette before he can see that Datsyukian play again

I don't want to tell not eat cold foods while watching hockey, but to caution you. Eating cold foods like ice cream while watching hockey could make you sick. Not stomach I-Shouldn't've-Had-That-Fourth-Hot Dog sick, more like a cold or the flu. Your brain will already be in a mental state of coldness and unless you're one of two people who watch hockey in warm climates, you're probably already a little chilled. So if you're going to fly with Edy's on hockey night, make sure you're wearing your flannels and have a quilt handy. Again, be careful of your non-bowl ice creams like Klondikes and ice cream sandwiches, for the remotes sake.

One of my favorite foods to eat while watching hockey is popcorn. I enjoy popcorn in all occasions but it is a good fit for hockey. Whether you air-pop it of nuke it, it comes out fresh and warm and even if you add a pound of butter, you lick it off your fingers so you can hit the button the remote. Another good one is nachos. Again, something warm but they are easy to make at home. Chips and some sharp cheddar and 30 seconds in the microwave makes this a good snack to get ready during one of those glorious TV timeouts.

Now, drinking while watching at home is tricky. Of course, a chilled Labbatt's is never a bad idea, nor is a Coke for those that remain dry. These compliment the above snacks well no matter what time of year or whatever sport you may be watching. If you aren't getting your snack on and just want something to drink, again, it can't hurt to go with something warm. Growing I remember gathering around the TV with the fam and a tall cup of cocoa, settling in to watch Hockey Night in Canada. I just had to remember not to sip when Don Cherry came on so I wouldn't get burned when I gasped at his latest outfit. Of course, coffees and teas aren't bad decisions either, though I would go with the decaf unless your team is out on the west coast. I mean, really, no matter what team you're watching, things get stressful enough without 100 grams of caffine coursing through your veins, so take it easy.

Hopefully this will get to think before you snack this holiday season. Look for function as well as flavor and remember that you'll want your fingers free for the remote so you can change it when Barry Melrose comes on for the intermission report. We still don't care what you have to say, Barry!

ROFLCOPTER GUEST EDITOR LOL

Now that I'm running the show (at least for the interim), let's try out a new feature. In keeping with the food theme (though you wouldn't know it from me), I'm going to start the Sports Smörgåsbord, wherein you, the reader, get a quick rundown of something that's happening from the sports that we here at PLS cover. Note that I know nothing about hockey, so reading that section will be akin to watching an infant snack on some delicious lead paint chips. Onto the buffet...

Major League Baseball - The playoffs begin today. Also, in case you missed it, last night's one-game playoff betwixt Tiggies and Twins was simply stellar baseball. There were some boneheaded decisions made (I'm looking at you, Delmon Young. Hit the cutoff man!) and plenty of strategy. Most of all, there was drama. Lots of it. I still can't figure out why Detroit chose not to try and drop a bunt. Might have won 'em the game. All's well, though. The Twins' reward is a slaughtering at the hands of the NYY.

NATION-AL FOOT-BALL LEAGUE - Tampa still sucks. Meanwhile, if the season ended today, who would be the MVP? Compelling cases can be made for a lot of players, but I still vote for Manning, P. Of course, watch Mr. Never-Beat-Florida suck out loud next week or something, like I cursed the Atlanta Braves last week. Additionally, I feel the weakest undefeated team right now has to be the NYG, simply because they haven't played anyone.

National Basketball Association - The preseason started. Go Magic. Just keep your clothes on, Dwight.

National Hockey League - The Calgary Flames got some assumedly decent position player for some assumedly worse player. They might or might not have made out on the deal. Time will tell whether or not the deal works out for one, both, or neither side.

Random Salient Point - Deion Sanders just brings trouble with him wherever he goes. First he gets Crabtree (pre-signing) tampering allegations, now he gets Dez Bryant ineligible. Guess Lane Kiffin isn't the only one who doesn't know some aspect of the NCAA rules.

Enjoy, everyone.

The Best (and worst) in the West

By Annie Detroit

The NHL season is upon us. The season opens with two games in Stockholm, Sweden between the Detroit Red Wings and the St. Louis Blues. I'm expecting both of these games to feel like home games for Detroit being that half of their roster is Swedish and played for the gold medal hockey team in the '06 Olympic games. The tickets for both games sold out with minutes of them being released, so that will make Darth Bettman, regardless, so I'm sure he did that on purpose.
Anyway, here's the scoop on the West:

Anaheim Ducks
I don't think this is the year the team changes their name to the "California Mighty Ducks of Anaheim," but it seems to be on the horizon. But the Ducks are no longer Mighty have been showing that as of late. They squeaked into the playoffs last season only to make a quick exit in the first round. The off-season acquisition of the Flying Finn Saku Koivu could really pay off to aide Scott Niedermeyer in leading a young Ducks team. Though Jonas Hiller took the starting goaltender job from Jean-Sebastien Giguere last season, Hiller should be careful he doesn't lose the job to another newcomer. Watch for youngsters James Wisniewski and Nick Boynton to step as the top youths. The Pacific Division seems to change from year to year, so if the Ducks want to prevail they'll need to do well against their inter-division opponents.

Calgary Flames
Coach Mike Keenan made another unceremonious exit as he was released by the Flames after a disappointing first round loss last season. This was Keenan's 8th NHL team and was last heard to be preparing for a tour of the Minneapolis Metropolitan Pee-Wee hockey league. Good luck, Mr. Keenan.
As for the Flames and new head coach Brent Sutter, I wouldn't expect them to challenge for the Division Championship barring a meteor striking the other arenas of the Northwest Division. With very few pick ups over the summer, plus a new coach and new system the team needs to learn, the Flames will have enough on their plate to keep them busy without worrying about leading the division. Don't be surprised if they miss the playoffs this year.

Chicago Blackhawks
Since the death of infamous owner Bill Wirtz, once quoted as saying that he would never finance a winning team because "Stanley Cups cost too much," the Hawks have been flying high. The Central Division war between the Blackhawks and Red Wings will be worth keeping an eye on throughout the season, as I am predicting that one of the two will represent the Western Conference in the Stanley Cup Finals come spring. While the signing of Marian Hossa was the biggest name they brought in this off-season, keep in mind that Hossa was bothered by a shoulder injury late in the postseason. Ex-Devil John Madden will also add some help up front, taking the place of departed Samuel Pahlsson. The coaching staff has high expectations for goalie Cristobal Huet, with so much confidence they were able to drop The Bulin Wall.

Colorado Avalanche
The Avs have diminished into a shadow of what they once were (much to my despire, I assure you). Since they moved from Quebec in 1995, this is the first year they'll have to rebuild. With no real players of note (especially since Joe Sakic announced his retirement), and no exceptional acquisitions this past summer, the team will be looking towards new coach Joe Sacco for guidence back towards the light. Bringing in former Florida back-up Craig Anderson to start (that's how you know it's bad), don't look for the Avs to make post-season. But don't worry Av fans, people in Detroit will always hate you.

Columbus Blue Jackets
Congratulations, B.J.s! You did it! You made the playoffs! What? You got swept in the first round? Oh...well...this is awkward...Oh? And you sent one of your top scoring forwards back to division rival Detroit? Um...you don't think you're going to make the playoffs this year, do you?
Your only goal scorer now is Rick Nash, your goaltender Steve Mason is in his sophomore (slump?) season, and even though your coach Ken Hitchcock has lost all kinds of weight, I still think he looks like the former manager of the Undertaker, Paul Bearer. If you guys want to have a shot, someone besides Nash is going to have score goals, and someone besides Mason is going to have to keep the puck out of the net (i.e. defensemen). Good luck and God's speed.

Dallas Stars
The biggest reason the Stars were in the news last season was the Sean Avery debacle (now making trouble with the Rangers). With a new GM in Joe Nieuwendyk and new coach Marc Crawford (still lookin' spiff with his 'doo), the Stars are hoping to make the playoffs ::insert thumbs up here::!

Crawford is part of an elite squad of the NHLs epic hair styles

Actually, without acclaimed GM Brett Hull, the Stars already have a better chance of making the playoffs than they did last year. Though several of their core players have taken off (Sergei Zubov went off to Russia, Brendan Morrison went to meet up with Ovechkin), the Stars are also looking to rebuild. Crawford has a tall order in front of him, but given his track record, it would be difficult to find someone better suited for the task.

Detroit Red Wings
As former coach Jacques Demers once said, "We gotta lotta yoot and a bunch a utter guys." By dropping Chris Chelios, the Wings have already dropped the average age of the team by 70 years. The re-acquisition of Jason Williams will give the Wings some more power up front, with the defensive duo of Lidstrom and Rafalski in charge of protecting Osgood. Goaltending may be the only question mark for Detroit this year, with Osgood's inconsistency and a lifetime minor-leaguer Jimmy Howard the only other option. Though Ozzie often comes up big come playoff time, the Wings will be jockeying for the top spot in the division all year with soaring Chicago. Anything less than a division win will greatly deflate the Wings egos and could effect their play in the post season. Look for yoots Justin Abdelkader (former Spartan!) and Ville Leino to get more action and score some goals for Detroit.

Edmonton Oilers
After missing the playoffs for the third straight season, Edmonton will be looking for some big time improvements. The acquisition of Nikolai Khabibulin was a start. Khabi is getting older, but like fellow AARP goalie Marty Brodeur, hasn't lost much. Another big change for this team came behind the bench. Ex-Oiler Craig MacTavish was let go for journeyman coach Pat Quinn. GM Steve Tambellini worked so hard over the off-season attempting to recruit Dany Heatley, that he forgot to try to get anyone else that could help this Oiler's offense. Chris Minard coming over from Pittsburgh may not be enough to propel Edmonton into the playoffs, but they will battle with Calgary for a potential eight seed.


Los Angeles Kings
The Kings are another team in the West that are going to have a rebuilding year. After finishing last in the division last season, the team went out and got Ryan Smith from the ailing Avalanche. They were also able to re-sign defenseman Jack Johnson (though Tom O'Leary opted for the European leagues). Watch for center Anze Kopitar to turn some more heads this year with his scoring drive. The Kings are also putting a lot of stock in 21-year-old Jonathan Bernier to mind the LA net this year and many years in the future. The Kings are really trying to build from the ground up, putting a lot of responsibility on their recent draft picks rather than looking for major trades. This may pay off for them a few years down the road, but don't expect to see their names on the playoff schedules this year.


Minnesota Wild
After missing the playoffs by only a few points, the Wild went into overhaul this summer. They fired their original GM, the head coach resigned, and they let of the last original Wild. Of all the recent expansion teams, many say they have been the most successful. I would agree but modify: They are the only one of the expansion teams to have any success. Even some of the others that have made they playoffs have made such unceremonious exits that it's not really worth calling them successes. I think it's because Minnesota actually deserves to have a hockey franchise and their first one never should've left! The addition of Martin Havlat will bring some points up front, and it will be a close race at the end of the season for Minnesota to make the playoffs.

Nashville Predators
The Preds took a step back this summer by exporting seven members of the team and bringing in a dude who played in Finland last year...cha-ching! Well, it's not like they're in a tough division...oh, wait. Everyone else in the division made the playoffs last year? Yikes! Steve Sullivan will once again be called upon to lead this inexpereinced team to what will probably be another disappointing season in the Music City. Not like anyone cares out there. Pekka Rinne will take the starting goaltender position, one that hasn't been kept warm for more than year since Tomas Vokoun left. Look for a kid named Jonathon Blum on the back line for Nashville this year. Last year's CHL defensive player of the year may help out to keep the goals against down the Preds.

Pheonix Coyotes
The biggest headline the Coyotes have made recently all have to do with the controversy over their sale. The Not-So-Great One is no longer behind the bench, in his place, former defenseman Ulf Samuelsson. The 'Yotes still have Shane Doan to tread the waters, but with a team that hasn't been competetive in several seasons. Bringing in Adrian Aucoin from Calgary for the blue line will help and may be paired with Jim Vandermeer. Goaltending will be fickle all year as Ilya Bryzgalov steps in again. It's difficulut to say if the Coyotes are even working towards the playoffs but rather fighting to stay alive with all of the financial troubles. Expect small crowds at the rink and a last place finish.

San Jose Sharks
The Sharks were the winners of the big Dany Heatley contest. While Heatley will bring some scoring prowess to the lineup (if he wants to), the Sharks still have some forces in the lineup like Patrick Marleau and Rob Blake. The sharks did trim of the fat this off-season as well, waving good-bye to Jeremy Roenick and Claudia Lemieux (HALLELUJAH!). The Sharks also sent quite a few other players packing, including goalie Brian Boucher and Jonathan Cheechoo. While I'm predicting the Sharks to do well in such a disparate division, I wouldn't put all my money on them quite yet come post-season. It would be very easy for the Sharks to go down on one stumble on the way to the playoffs. They have what they need to compete in their division, but it may not be enough to hold up against the rest of the top teams in the conference.

St. Louis Blues
Well, last year the Blues made the playoffs despite the fates being against them. Budding star Erik Johnson, scorer Paul Kariya, and captain Eric Brewer all had surgery to repair injuries. Not only did they persevere and comfortably make the playoffs, they also had the best record in the second half of the regular season. Imagine what they'll do with their big guns back in the lineup. Andy Murray will have to make sure that the younsters on this team keeps their heads on straight. Just because the injured guys are coming back into the lineup means they'll have it on Easy Street this year. Chris Mason will have some of the heat taken off of him as the starter with solid back-up Ty Conklin coming over from Detroit to help him out. Don't overlook the Blues in the fight for the top spot in the Central Division. They will challenge both Detroit and Chicago.

Vancouver Canucks
The Canucks will be making a real push to dominate the Northwest Division this year and carry into the playoffs. They brought in scorers Mikael Samuelsson and Matthieu Schneider will re-signing the Sedin brothers. The only name they lost this off-season was Mattias Ohlund. They're making their push for the Cup this year. They'll be lead by the Sedins and goalie Roberto Luongo. I'm predicting they'll run the division. Whether or not they'll take Stanley will be up to them. Don't forget about Pavol Demitra, he can score, too. Picking up Christian Erhoff and Brad Lukowich from San Jose will also add some muscle to a bulked (and expensive) lineup. Oh, and don't forget, Vancouver is hosting the Winter Olympics this year. Watching medals and a Stanley be awarded in this city would be a storybook ending for the fans here.

The Beast (and busts) of the East

By Annie Detroit

As the dawn of a new NHL season lingers, what can we do but prepare and speculate at who will succeed and will fall flat on their asses? The end of last season brought little in the way of surprises: the Islanders finished in last place and the Red Wings made the Finals…imagine my shock. The biggest surprise I think was that the Blue Jackets made the playoffs over the Predators, too bad that was short-lived.

Today I will be previewing the Eastern Conference of the NHL and to keep you in suspense I will wait until later to preview the Western Conference (also because I am short on time as I have to [DELETED INFORMATION]).

2008-09 Final Standings for the East

Atlantic

New Jersey

Pittsburgh

Philadelphia

New York R.

New York I.

Northeast

Boston

Montreal

Buffalo

Ottawa

Toronto

Southeast

Washington

Hartford

Florida

Atlanta

Tampa Bay

Atlanta Thrashers

Though the sale of the Phoenix Coyotes has dominated the 7.5 seconds of allotted NHL coverage on ESPN, they’re not the only ones with ownership problems. The Thrashers have been disputing since 2005 over ownership rights and other crap that wouldn’t have happened 20 years ago, and there is rumor that the Thrashers are secretly for sale or will be soon (Doorbuster Power Hour at Kohl’s). The Thrashers finished in fourth place in the Southeast Division. Only once in their nine year history have they managed to make the playoffs and the fans are slowly headed for the parking lot on this team. I still don’t understand why Darth Bettman put another team in Atlanta (can you say ‘Flames’), but here you go.

So Atlanta is struggling to stay afloat while GM Don Waddell is fighting tooth and nail to put together a team that can compete among this legal nonsense. But when your biggest off-season acquisition is Pavel Kubina, you can’t really hold out much hope. My advice is find someone who will hit anything that moves and fight anything

that breaths, that way he’ll get in lots of fights and at least put butts in the seats (is Peter Worrell available?) Don’t count on the Thrashers to make the playoffs barring a Southeastern Division outbreak of H1N1.

Boston Bruins

I have a special place in my heart for the Original Six teams, but I just the utmost respect for a team that names a behemoth like Zdeno Chara as their captain (CHARA SMASH!). An unceremonious exit in the second round last season left the entire region reeling, especially after the slobberknocker of a first round they had against Montreal. Led by Jack Adams winner Claude Julien and Vezina winner Tim Thomas, don’t look to Boston to fall short again this season. The re-signing of an elderly Mark Recchi could be a blessing in disguise. With 23 goals last year between Boston and Tampa Bay, look to him to step up and lead the team in scoring along with Joe Thorton. I’m looking for Boston to secure a playoff position again in convincing fashion since their loss of note this past off-season was Stephane Yelle. I’m also calling my shot right now: t

his is year that Chara eats a player on the ice, let us just hope and pray that it is Sidney Crosby.

Buffalo Sabres

Missing the playoffs last season by two points was a huge blow for Sabres, but they apparently weren’t shaken enough, because very little has changed in terms of their roster from last season. The injury to goaltender Ryan Miller (go green!) left the team out of the postseason. Expect Miller to continue to come through in the clutch this season to make up for it and despite losing the great defenseman Teppo Numminen (also one of the best names in the game, literally) to retirement, the Sabres will compete for a playoff spot with youngsters Chris Butler and Marc-Andre Gragnani stepping up in the back. I’m not exactly sure what they were planning when they brought in Mike Grier, but if nothing else he could add some grit that has proven to favor teams that rely as heavily on goaltending as Buffalo. Having someone to wear down the opposing offense could provide some relief to Miller. But now who’s going to score the goals? Thomas Vanek led the team last year with a 40 goal season, and look to Tim Connolly if he can stay off the IR.

Carolina Hurricanes

A lot of people were surprised to see the Hurricanes make the playoff run they did last year, exiting in the Conference Finals to the Pens, but I really wasn’t. Paul Maurice is good coach. A Finals appearance in ’02 and a Stanley Cup in ’06 has proved that. The biggest hump I think the ‘Canes have to climb over is goaltending. Cam Ward made some good saves in his time, but it’s time for him to either step up or step aside. Michael Leighton’s numbers don’t impress me too much either, with a 2.92 GAA in 19 games, but maybe that’s it: it was only 19 games. If Cam Ward struggles in the first half of this season, the ‘Canes should take a real close look at Leighton. With returning players Eric Staal and Chad LaRose and somehow Rod Brind’Amour is still holding himself together with duct tape, the skaters on this team look poised to make a run in a usually sorry looking Southeast Division. They do have a defenseman in Joni Pitkanen, but in order to take some pressure off the goaltenders the rest of the defenders will need to step up as well. Ultimat

ely, however, Carolina’s rise or fall will come from the net.

Florida Panthers

Another miserable finish for the Cats sent a lot of players packing in the off-season, but they somehow managed to re-sign MSU alum David Booth and Radek Dvorak. They secured former Martin Brodeur backup Scott Clemmensen from the Devils’ to step in for Tomas Vokoun when he realizes that he is better suited for a career in data processing and management (any day now). The Panthers will need to look again to Stephen Weiss to carry the team on his back, but I’m predicting another dead last finish in the division for Florida. Really the only solution here is to go back in time and slap the person who’s idea it was to put an ice-hockey team in South Florida (*cough cough* Bettman).

Montreal Canadiens

The decision to name Guy Carbonneau was difficult for me to swallow. I kept picturing this time when he won the Stanley Cup with Dallas in ’99 and decided that it was a good idea to throw the Cup off a second story balcony into a swimming pool...then he missed the swimming pool and put a huge dent in the base of the Cup! What a freakin’ idiot! Why would you want a dumbass like that running your hockey team!? I’m not surprised that Bob Gainey sent him packing before the season even ended. Even though he wasn’t there, I blame Carbonneau for Montreal’s early exit in last year’s playoffs. What a moron.

I was also saddened to hear the Habs took a pass on the Flying Finn Saku Koivu, a staple in the Montreal locker room for many years, only to bring in Scott Gomez, a player only good when he was with New Jersey. Gainey made a lot of moves over the summer, but it doesn’t look like any of them are really going to benefit the team that much. Picking up Hal Gill from Pittsburgh and Paul Mara from the Rangers I can’t imagine are going sign the Habs up for the playoffs right now. New coach Jaques Martin has a mess to clean-up this year. In a division that be challenging every year, the Canadiens will make the playoffs only if Buffalo, Ottawa, and Toronto once again fall short, which I’m not thinking will happen.

New Jersey Devils

So apparently the Devils are feeling nostalgic as of late, reuniting now aged players Bobby Holik, Brian Rolston, and (personal fav. of mine) Brendan Shanahan. Not to mention bring back Jacques Lemaire as the bench boss. But the Devils are going to have to gun it 88 if they plan on going back in time to the success they had in the mid-‘90s. These players will not produce they way they did when they first started out in the Christmas tree green and red. Throwing Scott Stevens and Martin Brodeur in there may actually give this team a higher average player age than the Red Wings, and that’s saying something. The Devils pulled off a division title last season to be pushed out early in the playoffs. Though Brodeur is about to apply for his AARP card, he is still just as solid in net and won’t be of any concern to Lemaire unless he breaks a hip. They’ll certainly challenge for the top of the division again this year, but look for it to be a closer race unless NJ can pull big numbers from Jamie Langenbrunner and Patrick Elias, two names that have faded as of late.

New York Islanders

I feel a little bit of pity for this year’s first round draft pick. John Tavares is probably checking to make sure his medical insurance is in good order for the coming year. The last first overall pick the Islanders had also faced the same amount of pressure as Tavares, and Rick DiPietro is literally falling apart at the seams. Several surgeries in the last few years has left the Ises front office biting their nails on the future of their long term goaltender, who still has

many years in his many year deal he signed in 2006. The brass went out and signed Dwayne Roloson and Martin Biron as insurance to make sure they have someone in the crease other than goaltending coach Mike Dunham (who I’m sure would have no problem suiting up again, it’s been a couple years since he fell out of the league).

Other than Tavares, who they are expecting to score about 500 goals this year, the Islanders don’t have much else by way of skaters. Doug Weight is barely staying afloat, they have the Austrian Thomas Pock (who went -17 with 3 pts. in 59 games last year) and a prospect from Los Angeles. Things aren’t looking to good for the Isles and I’m expecting them to finish at the bottom of the Atlantic division again this year unless Tavares pulls off a miracle.

New York Rangers

The Rangers are hoping that last year’s midseason coaching change will not come back to haunt them. Bringing in John Tortorella to shake things up last year was working until the Rangers left the playoffs early. Tortorella has one more chance to impress GM Glenn Sather or he will also get the boot. Sather is trying to piece together a competitive team, making a lot of changes over the summer, the most notable acquisition being Marion Gaborik from Minnesota. The retirement of Markus Naslund will hurt the Rangers offensively but maybe Gaborik has what it takes to fill the shoes…maybe. For the first time since Gump Worsley the Rangers aren’t concerned with the netminder, Henrik Lundqvist will be sufficient again this year. Offering Chris Drury as trade bait may have brought in a notable defenseman this offseason, but for some reason Sather wants to keep the 20 goal scorer on the second line. Look out for Sean Avery, the NHL’s Terrell Owens. Hopefully Tortorella will be able to tame the mouth off the ice and get him to channel the energy to being a nuisance on the ice like he was designed. In a conference with so many struggling teams, I see the Rangers fighting for a playoff spot but likely losing it to the more promising Sabres.

Ottawa Senators

The biggest thing the Sens had to deal with this summer was the whining from Dany Heatly, who they were finally able to unload for Jonathan Cheechoo and Milan Michalek, sending Heatly to San Jose where he can continue to score every now and then and offer nothing else to a team in any other aspect of the game. I have a lot of faith in Windsor Spitfire alum Jason Spezza, who will be paired up with Daniel Alfredsson and perhaps Alex Kovalev on the front line. It looks like the starting goaltender job will go to Brian Elliot, who I am predicting will have a career year, which could lead to a playoff berth for the Sens. Missing out last year was a huge blow for the franchise that I’m sorry to say is struggling financially as well. Seeing a sell-out crowd night after night would be a huge boost for fickle team and balances on the edge of the post-season as the Sens will do this year.

Philadelphia Flyers

The Flyers try to be a presence in the Eastern Conference, but it just never really works out. Ever since their inception to the league in 1968, the Flyers have always just kind of been there, and that’s it. I’m expecting another season similar this year. They have few roster changes from last year: Simon Gagne is the staple on the team if he remains healthy and Chris Pronger will lead the defense along with Kimmo Timonen. The goaltending situation is the biggest difference from last year’s squad, replacing Martin Biron and Antero Niittymaki with Ray Embry and Brian Boucher. The Flyers won’t really challenge again this year. They will either have another early exit from the playoffs this year or miss the playoffs entirely. Perhaps they should take stand much like New Jersey and go bring back the Legion of Doom? No, the Broad Street Bullies would be more fun to watch.

Pittsburgh Penguins

My upset special pick of the day: If by some miracle Sidney Crosby doesn’t get eaten by Zdeno Chara, this will be the year he suffers the injury that will plague him the rest of his career. Evgeni Malkin will have to step up to the ultimate demise of the Penguins. Then Penguins will only make the playoffs if Marc-Andre Fleury can stay on his feet. Not much else to say about Pittsburgh right now. Camp will be interesting because coach Dan Bylsma has never actually ran one before, but he has most of the players from the Stanley Cup winning roster, so the camp could potentially run itself. With few important players gone from the team (Petr Sykora, Hal Gill, and Rob Scuderi), look for them to make the playoffs easily and challenge again for the Finals. It will be a little more difficult, however, since they will be sans their Prodigal Child. Chara will just have to watch out for the indigestion.

Tampa Bay Lightning

The Lightning had a dead last finish last season in the worst conference in the league. So it can only go up from here (trust me, I’m a Lions fan). But rightfully so that they finished so poorly when they made the worst decisions in the history of decision by making Brian Melrose the head coach. I mean, he’s even dumber than Guy Carbonneau! Will have to see how things go with gambling mogul Rick Tocchet at the helm.

Apparently Melrose lied during the interview for the Tampa Bay coaching job

Bringing in names like Alex Tanguay and Mattias Ohlund will help a lot in terms of scoring. Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lacavelier deserve to play for better coaches but will be faithfully rewarded if the Lightning manage to climb out of the cellar and compete in the coming years. Just don’t bank on it to be this year. They also may or may not have a goaltender.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I was surprised at how crappy a finish the Leafs had last year. I guess I just always expect them to be a contender. It kind of makes me sad to see an Original Six struggle so much. Picking up restricted free agent Phil Kessel will likely benefit the Leafs and he will challenge for a spot on the first line. The rest of the roster is incredibly gray. No real idea who will play with Kessel and it is like the Leafs are starting from square 1. Opening the season against the defending Cup champs would not be the ideal way to start this brand new season, but it have to play the hand you’re dealt, I suppose. Jason Blake may appear on that front line with Kessel, and why Boyd Devereaux is still in the NHL I’ll never understand. Tomas Kaberle will return to lead the back half of the ice and it will probably be Vesa Toskala between the pipes for Toronto. It isn’t looking good again playoff-wise for the Leafs because of the unsure roster, but they could challenge late in the year if with a couple of good deadline moves.

Washington Capitals

The Washington Alexander Ovechkins will have another good year this year thanks to that one guy they have who I can’t remember the name of…he’s pretty good…he scores a lot sometimes…ah! Oh, well. Anyway, Jose Theodore needs to come up with a big year if the Caps are going to challenge come playoff time. Tomas Fleischmann will be a key player and Chris Clark will keep the captain’s ‘C’ warm for Ovechkin…That’s his name! Alex Ovechkin! I knew I’d remember it eventually. Look for Brendan Morrison to have a good year, too. The playoff exit last could be attributed to inexperience but that excuse won’t fly this year. The Caps have to be ready for the long hull if they expect to go anywhere in the playoffs. And people other than Ovechkin have to contribute. I’m sorry, it’s only fair.