Why it's hard to hate Ozzie Guillen

by Slate Quicksilver

Goodness knows he says a great deal of stupid things, and he manages his team similar to how a belligerent drunk who watches the game at a bar would, but he'll always have a place in my heart for bring the overly animated 3rd base coach for the Marlins in 2003.

Oh, and he regularly does stuff like this:



Thanks Ozzie (and the Dan LeBatard Show for the pic) for signing a ball for a Cleveland Indians fan last night (Chicago is in the Cleve) with a wonderfully dickish, yet hilarious, message. The "LoL" takes it from great to borderline legendary.

2010 World Cup Group C Breakdown

Group C, on paper, looks to be have the biggest difference between the “haves” and “have nots.” Soccer superpower England is the marquis team in the group and World Cup regular the United States will look to get out of the group stage, but the other two teams, Slovenia and Algeria promise to make the group interesting.

Algeria:

The Desert Foxes (a very cool name) were the most dominant team in Africa during the 1980s. They qualified in 1982 and even upset West Germany 2-1. What followed was one of the worst acts ever done in the tournament’s history, when in the last game of the groups stage, Germany and Austria played each other. A 1-0 win by Germany would ensure that they would go to the group stage with Austria, who already clinched their spot. That is exactly what happened with Austria giving up an easy early goal 10 minutes in followed by 80 minutes of enthusiastic passing and kicking the ball out of bounds. In 1986, Algeria went to the World Cup again but was stuck in a group with Brazil and Spain. It did not go well for them. Unfortunately this year’s installment, Algeria disappeared from the world scene becoming a cellar dweller in Africa. Making the Cup in Africa isn’t what it used to be, it is very challenging to do so and Algeria should be commended for qualifying, but to qualify, Algeria needed to play a tiebreaker with Egypt to make it in. They won every game at home, but they were less than stellar on the road. Unfortunately for the Desert Foxes, the World Cup is not being played in Algeria. They look to have trouble against England and the US and will race Slovenia for last in the group.

England:

New coach Fabio Capello looks to have his squad more than ready to come into the 2010 World Cup with success in mind. In qualifying, they lit up opposing teams in their group for a UEFA zone high total of 34 goals in ten games. They only lost once, to the Ukraine, well after they had qualified. The group stage was kind the Three Lions, with their biggest competition in the group being the US. England has no shortage of incredible players. Names like Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard will certainly be the cornerstones of the English effort names like Jermaine Defoe could be the X factor who could spearhead their success. The only concern is recent play on the big stage. Putting it lightly, they have underwhelmed at world’s biggest tournament. They haven’t won a Cup since 1966, when they hosted it, and in 2002 and 2006, they fizzled out in the quarterfinals (though in 2006, terrible officiating may have helped that). There is a great deal of pressure, as always, on this team. And recent events with a certain player and a certain player’s wife (and certain goings ons) may have lead to instability. Getting to the round of 16 should be no problem. Taking out Algeria and Slovenia should be easy tasks, and the opening game against the United States will likely decide the group winner.

Slovenia:

Considering before 1991, Slovenia did not have a team at all, they should be applauded for making the Tournament for the second time. They should be applauded even more for taking out solid teams like the Czech Republic, Poland and Russia along the way. To get by Russia, they needed to play a 2 leg series with the Russians and beat them on away goals. They scored one in Moscow late in the game, and then shut out the Russians at home giving an aggregate of 2-2, but with Slovenia scoring the coveted away goal. This shouldn’t be so surprising considering how they qualified. Slovenia gave up an amazing 4 goals in all of qualifying. This stalwart defense is what they will rely on in South Africa for success. And they will be called upon playing against England’s strong attack and the US’s athletes. Despite their impressive route to qualification, it is unlikely that they will perform well enough to get by England of the United States. But a victory against Algeria would not be at all surprising.

United States:

The United States, in 2006, had an incredible amount of promise going into the World Cup. They had a top 10 FIFA ranking, but got places in the group of death. A crushing loss to the Czechs followed by a tough loss to Ghana lead to their early exit. Success on the international stage is crucial, many people believe, for the United States to finally embrace the sport as it is embraced abroad. Success in 2010 is tangible, but not guaranteed. The Stars and Stripes cruised through qualifying, but with Mexico being the only other power in the region, this was no surprise. Players going over to Europe to play have brought back solid play and have raised the level of play of their team. The 2009 Confederations Cup saw the US bring down #1 in the world Spain and then almost take away first place until Brazil mounted a massive comeback. What is usually the problem for the team is scoring. The team plays a physical brand on defense but has issues putting the ball in the back of the net. Playing teams like Slovenia and England will not help fix that fact. A win over Algeria should come, and a win against Slovenia could come if patience is shown. The game against England, on June 12^th to open their campaign will be a tough start. Playing intelligently could lead to a draw. Drawing with England would be hailed almost as victory and building on that momentum could see a run deep into the tournament. Or they could do what they did in 2006 and lay an egg. Patriotic feelings are stirring to hope for the first option.

Predicted Tables:

England 2-0-1

United States 2-0-1

Slovenia 1-2-0

Algeria 0-3-0

Old(er), Unathletic Folks Throw Complete Game Shut Out, Blank Harvey Dent 9-0

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

[Note: nothing in this article should be considered to be legal advice of any sort. It is merely the recitation of an opinion held by the author about a current event.]

Okay, so I know a while ago we posted that there would not be any more politics on the site. Well, this isn't so much about partisan politics as it is about something that's happened this morning.

Today, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled in favor of American Needle, Inc. in their lawsuit against the NFL. If you're not familiar, here's a brief summary. American Needle makes hats with logos on them (they are licensed). The NFL gives Reebok exclusive rights in 2001 for making hats (among other things). American Needle sues under the Sherman Anti-Trust Act S 1 & 2, alleging that all 32 teams are acting in conspiracy to monopolize the licenses. American Needle loses. They appeal. They lose again. American Needle and the NFL both appeal to the SCOTUS, ANI seeking a reversal and the NFL seeking the coveted anti-trust exemption, possessed currently by only Major League Baseball (at least in the sports world). They bicker. Judges listen. They rule. And today, they publish.

Put legally, we have the question

"...whether an arrangement is a contract, combination, or conspiracy is different from and antecedent to the question whether it unreasonably restrains trade." American Needle, Inc. v. National Football League, 560 U.S. ____ (2010).

Put more simplier, are NFL teams able to engage in anti-trust behavior (because 32 entities are acting in concert to restrict licensing) or are they a solitary, unified business that does not compete with each other (in terms of trying to get market share, revenues, etc), but with outside leagues?

Apparently, the former. The NFL had a reasonable position, at any rate. They argued that nothing was being done differently than what happens in the NFLPA's collective bargaining agreements (I think...). Also, just because there is evidence of acting in concert doesn't make something a monopoly. In fact, there is a heightened pleading standard when it comes to anti-trust cases like these. "When allegations of parallel conduct are set out in order to make a [section] 1 claim, they must be placed in a context that raises a suggestion of a preceding agreement, not merely parallel conduct that could just as well be independent action." Bell Atlantic Corp. v. Twombly, 550 U.S. 544, 557 (2007). Bully on American Needle for finding enough to get the case to go through.

Quickly, let's look at the fallout:

1. This is not really a pyrrhic victory for AN, but the fight is not over yet. Since the case was reserved and remanded (back to the lower court), American Needle now has to prove that the exclusive agreement unreasonably restrains trade under the Rule of Reason advocated in Standard Oil Co. of NJ v. U.S., 221 U.S. 1. Surprising though it may be to most folks, monopoly power is not in and of itself illegal, so AN still has to show they'd be harmed and that the NFL's restriction is the cause.

2. Expect to see baseball a little more cooperative when the government comes calling. This case may be enough for the government, when and if it gets pissed, to pull the anti-trust exemption MLB currently enjoys. In fact, I would think this gets removed sooner rather than later, but the trick will be finding someone with proper standing to sue.

3. This is a huge defeat for the NCAA, I think, moreso than any other organization of sports not named MLB. The NCAA, as the administrative body of the 300+ member schools of collegiate athletics, would have stood to make a pantload if they could corral the revenues generated by some schools (e.g. UF, Texas). This would essentially have locked in every college to do exactly what the NCAA says if schools cannot make money off of their own licensed gear, since it would control all of the money in college sports. Ironic, though, that this is exactly the same argument used by those who would advocate paying collegiate athletes (e.g. allowing use of their names by default in NCAA xx). While I don't think "QB #15" will be going away anytime soon, it just strikes me as funny that the big time schools didn't speak up against ruling in favor of the NFL because of how much they had to lose and, in the process, lowering the NCAA's already low credibility.

4. I agree with Deadspin's analysis that the NFL doesn't lose, so much as it just fails to win.

5. I disagree, however, with Deadspin's last point about Madden 20xx and agree more with PointofLaw's analysis on point. He says it more succinctly than I could. To quote and reprint:

Update: Deadspin suggests (h/t W.C.) that the ruling will affect exclusive deals with videogame makers. Not so. For example, the Madden series reflects not just deals for the team trademarks, but for the NFL trademarks and the NFLPA rights, which are unaffected by the ruling. Sure, Jerry Jones could individually sell the rights to a Dallas Cowboys game that doesn't mention the NFL or the other 31 teams or any of the players' names, but who is going to buy those rights? And that's before one gets to the Rule-of-Reason analysis that a videogame is much more valuable with all 32 teams' trademarks than with just 31 of them.

That's the nail in the coffin, I think.


So, why did American Needle win this case? I believe, at the heart of it, because the NFL is not centrally planned. Teams do compete within the organization against each other, for example, with free agents. The results of the games are not fixed (the NBA's are, though. BURN!). With respect to merchandising, I believe the SCOTUS was diligent in narrowly tailoring this ruling to merchandise. Though, I do also agree to an extent with this position, that some monopolistic, single-entity powers are ultimately better for the NFL (trickling down to the players also, especially with revenue distribution).

In the end, the impact of a decision for either party wouldn't have been as bad as projected, especially in light of the narrow tailoring of the decision (no pun intended). This won't be the end of sports as we know it, but don't confuse that point; a victory for the NFL would have been more impactful than the present ruling. Nor will the NFLPA et. al have vastly more power than they did before. The NFL could restructure itself to soften or completely mitigate this blow; an example might be declaring that an official Tampa Bay Bucs hat must have both the NFL shield and the TB logo.

Anyway, that's my take and sorry if not all of it makes sense. I am not a lawyer. Yet.

[Note 2: Again, nothing above constitutes legal advice or even sound reasoning.]

Hustle

by Red Herring

We tolerate many things in our professional athletes. From DUIs to sexual assault allegations to murdering dogs. (Fuck you Michael Vick you walking piece of shit I hope you die in a fucking fire.) But one thing that we don’t tolerate is lack of effort. You can be almost anything you want to be outside the lines, but the second your feet hit that playing field you better be giving everything you’ve got. Hanley Ramirez is paying the price for not giving everything he had during a game. Just like the old rule, “if you think you might be gay then you’re gay.” If a player is ever accused of giving questionable effort it’s because he wasn’t trying.

As a people we are extremely forgiving. Get drunk and drive, that’s ok as long as you don’t kill anyone. Have sex with a woman in the bathroom at a bar? Well that’s your word against hers and I guess we have to give you the benefit of the doubt. Be a barbaric asshat and murder dogs in as many ways as you can? FUCK YOU VICK YOU SHITBURGER I HOPE A FUCKING ELEPHANT USES YOU AS A HUMAN SIZED SUPPOSITORY. I mean, give a half-hearted press conference where you say you’re sorry and we’ll let the whole thing slide. But Han-Ram didn’t even have the intelligence to do that, instead when asked about being benched he had a temper tantrum where he said his manager doesn’t know shit about baseball because he didn’t play in the majors. Ramirez has realized that the public wasn’t going to put up with his petulant attitude and has since issued an apology but once you do something like this no one forgets about it. Anyone remember how popular Roberto Alomar was before he spit in that umpires face? No, what everyone remembers is a guy spitting in the umps face on national television. Guess what Hanley, this was your Waterloo and unfortunately you just played the part of Napoleon.

So long popular Han-Ram, we hardly knew ya.

Fuck you Vick.

2010 World Cup Group B Breakdown

by Slate Quicksilver

Group B in the 2010 World Cup promises one thing: Anarchy. Argentina is the headliner in the group, but deciding a number two team between South Korea, Greece and Nigeria is not an easy task. Nor will it be easy to qualify in this group, as there is no team that is an easy target to destroy.

Argentina:

Lead once again by their country’s biggest sports hero, Diego Maradona, the Argentineans look to be primed to win this group with style and ease… but that is only on reputation and talent. Looking at Argentina's qualifying, you'll see that they needed to scrap together 2 wins to qualify for the World Cup for the 10^th time in a row after dropping games late in qualifying to Paraguay and Brazil and they suffered positively crushing (and confusing) loss to Bolivia 6-1 earlier in process. Argentina, like France, is a team loaded with talent who only needs to qualify to be a potential winner, so we will leave their qualifying woes at that. We will also ignore international super duper mega star Lionel Messi’s lack of success on the international field (he is a destroyer of worlds for Barcelona). Putting it plainly, Argentina will require Messi to retain his form from league play and Maradona needs to get his players in line for the month long tournament. In a country that lives and breathes for their home team’s success, perhaps Maradona is the perfect coach for the team as no one else knows about success in the magnifying light of the world’s biggest event. They will cruise to the round of 16 in style.

Greece:

After winning the 2004 Euro Cup, Greece had high hopes for 2006’s World Cup. Those hopes were not even remotely realized thanks to a pitiful qualifying campaign. 2008’s Euro Cup was not much better. Now that Greece has qualified for the 2010 Cup (their first since ’94), they are hoping to spark whatever created their run in 2004. Greece’s qualifying wasn’t pretty, but they qualified after dispatching the Ukraine in the playoffs 1-0 (agg). Greece will certainly be looking toward erasing their first and only trip to the World Cup from the history books with a successful run. In 1994, Greece laid an egg by losing to Bulgaria, Argentina and Nigeria by an aggregate of 0-10. Yes, zero goals scored, ten goals surrendered. Greece is far better now, and they have to be inspired by the recent fracturing of their country thanks to miserable economic issues, and even more they would surely like some Cup revenge against Argentina and Nigeria. They feature the highest scoring player in Euro qualifying, Theofanis Gekas, and their coach Otto Rehhagel is most certainly not short in experience. Greece has the ingredients for success, but will they put it together like in 2004. Argentina will likely roll over them, but Nigeria and South Korea will be firefights. In the end, it’s hard to see them beating both Nigeria and South Korea, but at least this time… they’ll score a goal.

Nigeria:

In 1994, Nigeria shocked the soccer universe by beating Bulgaria 3-0 to open up the ’94 World Cup and then going on to come within 1 minute in qualifying time to make it to the Round of 8. In 1998, the Super Eagles had another successful run. Unfortunately in 2002, they got drawn into the group of death and didn’t make it out. In 2006, they didn’t qualify. They hope to see a reversal of this downward arc in 2010. Qualifying didn’t make that feeling strong in any way, shape or form. They needed a semi miraculous upset of Tunisia by Mozambique to bail them out from a slow start in the final round of qualifying and a come from behind 3-2 win in Kenya to seal the deal. Nigeria has plenty of European based talent to build upon on their squad, but youth may be an issue. The old guard who took them to 3 straight Cups are almost all gone at this point, so the Super Eagles will need to be held steady as they play superpower Argentina to open the tournament. If Argentina were to flex their muscles, it will be on their veterans to keep the wheels from falling off the bus. Success is hardly a guarantee, but a win and a draw against the smaller teams in their group could lead to a backdoor to the Round of 16. And seeing as how this is Africa’s first Cup, there is no telling if Nigeria will become a secondary favorite by the locals. That would be a huge boost to this young team.

South Korea:

If forced to guess how many times consecutively South Korea has qualified for the World Cup, how many guesses would it take for you to get to seven? It’s not that this team lacks talent, it’s that other than their homegrown super run in the 2002 World Cup (played in their backyard and they got a little help from blind refs), the Taeguk Warriors had a tendency to get steamrolled before their successful run. 2006 saw a near miss to the Round of 16, so being South Korea appears to have shaken the jitters plaguing them in previous campaigns and they will look to keep it going in 2010. They qualified with ease but they had 3 ties with their eternal enemy, North Korea, who also qualified (but they are expected to get obliterated out of the tournament to the point where one expert said the best case scenario for them “not to come in dead last place.” More on that in group G). Korea has been sending more players abroad and the quality of their play is directly correlated to that, but will they be able to secure a victory from Nigeria or Greece? I vote no. This group is not a good matchup for the Koreans, like in 2002 where they had the Americans and a weakened Portugal to get by, and their results will reflect that.

Predicted Tables

Argentina 3-0-0

Nigeria 1-1-1

Greece 0-1-2

South Korea 0-2-1

A Running Account of the ECF, Game 2

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Note: this account makes no semblance of impartiality. It isn't an issue most of the time, but I do have a stake in the outcome, so it isn't fair and balanced or anything, but I do try and give credit when it is due.

1st Quarter

11:17 – One thing that bugs me quite a bit is how bad the C’s flop and act. Paul Pierce got stabbed 10 times in the kidney or back or whatever it is. You so much as breathe on him now and he hits the deck like an Italian soccer player. Which is it, Paul?

11:01 – Putting Kendrick Perkins, Dwight Howard, and Shaq in a China shop, who can walk the furthest without breaking anything? I submit this to the commentariat.

10:50 – Nice to see Vince off to a good start. He is really coming up strong in his first conference finals, but as we've all suspected, he probably just doesn't have what it takes to lead a team by himself. [Note: Boy, will I regret those words later.]

10:34 – Great point by Jeff Van Gundy about not whining. It's been whoever plays the Magic and Dwight Howard getting in the biggest pissing contests this postseason. Whining leads to paternal calls by the referees. Shut up and play.

9:57 – Liking both team’s defensive efforts so far.

9:18 – Barnes’ defense is electric right now. SVG must have put him and/or Vince on up-front duty. They don't move that Tercel with the transmission problems and they're riding the pine, which will then be converted to sawdust to put in the engine. SVG - he is nothing if not crafty.

8:15 – Rajon Rondo = Starvin Marvin?

6:45 – Dwight is most effective when he just goes straight up. His offense and footwork is not good enough to consistently do this spinning nonsense. Let's just say he won't be performing Swan Lake anytime soon.

5:55 – Down goes Rondo with what appears to be a bad case of "Owwie, I hurted my head."

5:33 – Pierce usually gets that foul call where he throws himself into the defender. Surprised the refs held back.

3:41 – The Twin Towers (Dwight and Marcin Gortat, everyone's favorite parrot) lineup has the potential to cause problems. It did during the regular season.

2:47 – What an awesome commercial for Jim Beam. Sadly, I'm not fat or have a hairy back, so I'm not her type. Also, on the following commercial, SKINNY SHAQ HOLY HELL.

36.5 – CALL A FOUL ON BOSTON. I DARE YOU. PLEASE. HOW MANY TIMES MUST MATT BARNES GET HIT?

2nd quarter

12:00 - After perusing the box score, Boston actually had more foul calls than Orlando (7 to 6) in the first quarter. I guess even the best of us lose track when they aren't shooting fouls.

9:54 – Blocked by a white guy. Take that, Glen. By no means is that trashing Gortat at all; he is a legit starting C for someone, perhaps as soon as next year.

7:00 – Michael Finley sighting…is this 2005? I also love how he left San Antonio because he wasn't getting playing time to go to Boston, where he still doesn't get any playing time.

6:17 – Look, Dwight. This is what happens when you go up every time without auditioning for Dancing With the Stars. Straight. Up. In the offseason, watch tapes of Hakeem, not Ewing (sorry, Coach).

Commercial for Miller Lite – If some bartender talks to me like that, I’m decking her and not tipping. I didn’t ask for your god damn opinion on what beer I get. I’m paying for the pouring, not for the commentary. Probably more offensive is that this commercial leads us to believe that Miller Lite tastes good (it doesn't). This coming from a guy who has swilled down multiple American macrobrews in his day.

[Note: Something I didn't even pick up on until I found that page linking the commercials. From their comments:

I am a woman, and when I watch these commercials, the guys come off as friendly and attractive to me, whereas I am kind of blown away by how mean the bartenders are. And mean about Miller Lite of all things! I wonder if these ads are effective for their target audience?

And the reply:

Well, they act as a complement to the Miller High Life commercials, where the black truck driver (and I think that I could well be important that the character is portrayed by a black actor) gets out of his truck, goes into up-scale restaurants and bars, and takes back all the Miller, because they are selling it for too much money.

That these commercials (High life and Lite) both portray the Miller purveyors as mean-spirited seems to be speaking to a general theme in their marketing campaign.

Spot on. I don't think the black guy from the High Life commercials is doing it to be mean, but still, condescending is Miller Brewing Co's raison d'etre. Little Brother Syndrome, Miller?]

5:54 – Good Lord, even JVG is talking about Hanley Ramirez. Literally no one immune from the VG boys criticisms, as the Chicago Bulls organization will attest.

5:18 – Gotta wonder if things are getting desperate to talk about Scalabrine.

4:45 – Awful, awful T. There is no reason to call that whatsoever. Joe DeRosa's crew is making this game unwatchable. [Note: What an understatement. Check back later.]

4:16 – Well, can’t say I didn’t see that coming. Someone was gonna get a flagrant on some side out of sheer frustration. Doesn't surprise me that it's Dwight. Doesn’t change the fact that for EITHER TEAM, that’s a boneheaded play right now.

3:44 – This is such a poorly reffed game. It’s unbelievable.

2:30 – I'm taking umbrage with the commentators right now. Don’t go thinking that Pierce is going off because of that flagrant. He’s been doing that all half. Or have you not been watching this game?

1:38 – The SVG face is back. You know the type.

Halftime Impressions – This game is getting out of hand with the fouls. The players are slightly to blame. They do commit the acts anyhow. The refs are nearly entirely to blame. There was a foul on every meaningful possession it seems. Vince’s T was indefensible. It figures that Dwight would get the boiling over foul. Once again, Orlando coming out slow and not responding. We'll see if they perk up.

Basketball is not basketball. Sorry, WNBA.

3rd Q

10:56 – Nice alley oop to get started.

10:43 – And Pierce goes down like he got stabbed again. What happened to the Paul Pierce that shrugged off the minor contact and still got the calls? I'd be happy to see him again.

10:19 – All ball. Again, we resume the bad reffing.

9:xx (lost track of time) – Vince doing too much with the fade away. Start attacking the basket again.

7:59 - Apparently, before halftime, Joe DeRosa (the head ref) threw a ball at a fan.

I can’t believe the fan got ejected for returning the ball. That pretty much seals how awful this game has been. First of all, the ref started it by throwing the ball at the guy. Second, what was the fan supposed to do? Keep the ball? He would have been in a good degree more trouble that way. The refs have to hear it from the front row fans all the time. What makes this chump any more special than, say, everyone else in the arena who was booing him?

Jeff Van Gundy blaming the fan boggles the mind. Sorry, Jeff, you're dead wrong here. Just because this guy was closer than most folks to be able to yell what he's thinking within earshot of the ref in no way excuses the referee - the arbiter of the game! - losing his cool. This guy should be suspended for the remainder of the playoffs, if not fired.

2:36 – Dwight Howard, in the offseason, needs to leave his phone at home, take only what he can carry, and go get a log cabin or something. Seriously. The Magic are a team that has a lot of negative energy all the time, mostly from the Head Coach. Dwight's tantrums are affecting everyone out there. Please, Dwight. Stop whining and play the game. After you clubbed Pierce, he got carried away, yelled a couple times, then went right back to business.

1:17 – Rashard is wilting like he did in the Finals last year. Good thing he's only signed to the mid-level exception. Wait, what?

4th Q

10:00 - Well, let’s see if they can make it a game. If Orlando cares, it will get close.

8:xx – This game is just ugly. Basketball is basketball, I guess?
7:44 – Was that really a moving screen? I have my doubts. There is no consistency to these calls at all.

6:57 – Is JJ the smartest player on the floor for Orlando now? [Note: Things I type that I will regret later upon posting, volume 2 - that.]

Commercial – how typical is this game for both squads? Orlando gets hit in the nose by the refs and they whine like children. Boston can’t help but make the game interesting in the 4th Q.

4:24 – Gotta run the O through Dwight now. Kick the ball into him and see what Boston does. Collapse and pass out. Space out and go strong. They're not making shots, so here's your chance.

3:35 – They took the lead. God bless ‘em.

2:20 – Redick shows some surprising athleticism and gets by KG only to have a bad charge called. First, it wasn't a charge at all; it was definitely a blocking foul. Second, JVG says there was a foul on KG with the reach-in; I'd agree, but I'd also not fault the refs for the no-call, as I have been railing against ticky-tack calls all game. C’est le jeu ("That is the game").

31.9 – Hats off to Pierce. Great game for him.

30.6 – Ouch. Big 2 misses by Vince. Nick Anderson part 2.

Conclusion – In between the referees blowing whistles, we had a basketball game tonight. I can’t say I’m surprised with the result. Orlando once again played up to snuff in Q4, but started off slow as usual. It seems Boston is doing just enough to win. Typical game for both sides, like I said earlier.

While I want to get really mad at Redick for messing up that timeout situation, he played extremely well for most of tonight. While I want to get mad at Vince for missing the two free throws, he played well for most of tonight. The guy I am going to criticize is Rashard Lewis, who again is disappearing on a big stage. Essentially, we have the same C's team as last year, except with a vastly improved Rajon Rondo. I know you put up some stinkers in the Finals, but you played pretty well last year against the C's in that series. Find that Rashard and make sure he shows up. Ryan Anderson not getting any burn is ridiculous. He had more of a pulse on the bench than Rashard did for a long time.

The series isn't over, but it's a pretty tall order. We'll find out what the Magic are made of pretty soon, whether they are a Tercel from SVG's lot or a full blown Maserati.

Things I Hate

By Red Herring

The use of the word hero or term warrior or any other synonym when referring to an athlete:

Hitting a homerun a hero does not make. Gaining an extra yard to convert the fourth and 2 and essentially win the game even though there is still 2 minutes left in the game does not make you a soldier. It might make you clutch, or money, or solid. But it doesn’t make you a hero. Bottom line on this one, if you play a game that children play on a regular basis playing said game does not make you a warrior. (this doesn’t apply to those children who reside in Detroit or Chicago, their games do actually involve life and death, unfortunately.) Get over yourself, you play a game for my enjoyment and the world would go on with or without you.

People trying to explain why an athlete does something stupid :

Stupid people can be good at things. Sports is an excellent example. Lenny Dykstra stock picking genius anyone? Are you stupid? Can you hit a baseball? This qualifies you to be an investment guru. Athletes being stupid is an American institution. Apple pie, Chevrolet and stupid jocks. So when a very rich moron does something stupid we cannot be surprised, or try to explain it away. It happened because you took one part idiot and one part shitload of money and put the two together. Your favorite athlete may be great at sports, but he is not necessarily good at life. Get over it.

Your lucky anything:

Guess what, unless you happen to root for the most current champion in any given sport and your lucky charm is only a season old it isn’t a lucky charm. It is a trinket that has absolutely no connection to the outcome of any game. UNLESS the lucky trinket belongs to me, in that case it is absolutely positively necessary that I follow the same ritual if it worked in a prior occurrence. If I move my chair and Mo blows a save, it is on me. If I lean a certain way when I fart and after that Tex hits a homerun guess which way I’m leaning every team he comes up to bat and I have the urge to let off a little steam? If the Gators win a game when I have a certain shirt on it will be on every time until the Gators lose a game. But your lucky stuff? All shit.

More to come…