A Running Account of the ECF, Game 2

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Note: this account makes no semblance of impartiality. It isn't an issue most of the time, but I do have a stake in the outcome, so it isn't fair and balanced or anything, but I do try and give credit when it is due.

1st Quarter

11:17 – One thing that bugs me quite a bit is how bad the C’s flop and act. Paul Pierce got stabbed 10 times in the kidney or back or whatever it is. You so much as breathe on him now and he hits the deck like an Italian soccer player. Which is it, Paul?

11:01 – Putting Kendrick Perkins, Dwight Howard, and Shaq in a China shop, who can walk the furthest without breaking anything? I submit this to the commentariat.

10:50 – Nice to see Vince off to a good start. He is really coming up strong in his first conference finals, but as we've all suspected, he probably just doesn't have what it takes to lead a team by himself. [Note: Boy, will I regret those words later.]

10:34 – Great point by Jeff Van Gundy about not whining. It's been whoever plays the Magic and Dwight Howard getting in the biggest pissing contests this postseason. Whining leads to paternal calls by the referees. Shut up and play.

9:57 – Liking both team’s defensive efforts so far.

9:18 – Barnes’ defense is electric right now. SVG must have put him and/or Vince on up-front duty. They don't move that Tercel with the transmission problems and they're riding the pine, which will then be converted to sawdust to put in the engine. SVG - he is nothing if not crafty.

8:15 – Rajon Rondo = Starvin Marvin?

6:45 – Dwight is most effective when he just goes straight up. His offense and footwork is not good enough to consistently do this spinning nonsense. Let's just say he won't be performing Swan Lake anytime soon.

5:55 – Down goes Rondo with what appears to be a bad case of "Owwie, I hurted my head."

5:33 – Pierce usually gets that foul call where he throws himself into the defender. Surprised the refs held back.

3:41 – The Twin Towers (Dwight and Marcin Gortat, everyone's favorite parrot) lineup has the potential to cause problems. It did during the regular season.

2:47 – What an awesome commercial for Jim Beam. Sadly, I'm not fat or have a hairy back, so I'm not her type. Also, on the following commercial, SKINNY SHAQ HOLY HELL.

36.5 – CALL A FOUL ON BOSTON. I DARE YOU. PLEASE. HOW MANY TIMES MUST MATT BARNES GET HIT?

2nd quarter

12:00 - After perusing the box score, Boston actually had more foul calls than Orlando (7 to 6) in the first quarter. I guess even the best of us lose track when they aren't shooting fouls.

9:54 – Blocked by a white guy. Take that, Glen. By no means is that trashing Gortat at all; he is a legit starting C for someone, perhaps as soon as next year.

7:00 – Michael Finley sighting…is this 2005? I also love how he left San Antonio because he wasn't getting playing time to go to Boston, where he still doesn't get any playing time.

6:17 – Look, Dwight. This is what happens when you go up every time without auditioning for Dancing With the Stars. Straight. Up. In the offseason, watch tapes of Hakeem, not Ewing (sorry, Coach).

Commercial for Miller Lite – If some bartender talks to me like that, I’m decking her and not tipping. I didn’t ask for your god damn opinion on what beer I get. I’m paying for the pouring, not for the commentary. Probably more offensive is that this commercial leads us to believe that Miller Lite tastes good (it doesn't). This coming from a guy who has swilled down multiple American macrobrews in his day.

[Note: Something I didn't even pick up on until I found that page linking the commercials. From their comments:

I am a woman, and when I watch these commercials, the guys come off as friendly and attractive to me, whereas I am kind of blown away by how mean the bartenders are. And mean about Miller Lite of all things! I wonder if these ads are effective for their target audience?

And the reply:

Well, they act as a complement to the Miller High Life commercials, where the black truck driver (and I think that I could well be important that the character is portrayed by a black actor) gets out of his truck, goes into up-scale restaurants and bars, and takes back all the Miller, because they are selling it for too much money.

That these commercials (High life and Lite) both portray the Miller purveyors as mean-spirited seems to be speaking to a general theme in their marketing campaign.

Spot on. I don't think the black guy from the High Life commercials is doing it to be mean, but still, condescending is Miller Brewing Co's raison d'etre. Little Brother Syndrome, Miller?]

5:54 – Good Lord, even JVG is talking about Hanley Ramirez. Literally no one immune from the VG boys criticisms, as the Chicago Bulls organization will attest.

5:18 – Gotta wonder if things are getting desperate to talk about Scalabrine.

4:45 – Awful, awful T. There is no reason to call that whatsoever. Joe DeRosa's crew is making this game unwatchable. [Note: What an understatement. Check back later.]

4:16 – Well, can’t say I didn’t see that coming. Someone was gonna get a flagrant on some side out of sheer frustration. Doesn't surprise me that it's Dwight. Doesn’t change the fact that for EITHER TEAM, that’s a boneheaded play right now.

3:44 – This is such a poorly reffed game. It’s unbelievable.

2:30 – I'm taking umbrage with the commentators right now. Don’t go thinking that Pierce is going off because of that flagrant. He’s been doing that all half. Or have you not been watching this game?

1:38 – The SVG face is back. You know the type.

Halftime Impressions – This game is getting out of hand with the fouls. The players are slightly to blame. They do commit the acts anyhow. The refs are nearly entirely to blame. There was a foul on every meaningful possession it seems. Vince’s T was indefensible. It figures that Dwight would get the boiling over foul. Once again, Orlando coming out slow and not responding. We'll see if they perk up.

Basketball is not basketball. Sorry, WNBA.

3rd Q

10:56 – Nice alley oop to get started.

10:43 – And Pierce goes down like he got stabbed again. What happened to the Paul Pierce that shrugged off the minor contact and still got the calls? I'd be happy to see him again.

10:19 – All ball. Again, we resume the bad reffing.

9:xx (lost track of time) – Vince doing too much with the fade away. Start attacking the basket again.

7:59 - Apparently, before halftime, Joe DeRosa (the head ref) threw a ball at a fan.

I can’t believe the fan got ejected for returning the ball. That pretty much seals how awful this game has been. First of all, the ref started it by throwing the ball at the guy. Second, what was the fan supposed to do? Keep the ball? He would have been in a good degree more trouble that way. The refs have to hear it from the front row fans all the time. What makes this chump any more special than, say, everyone else in the arena who was booing him?

Jeff Van Gundy blaming the fan boggles the mind. Sorry, Jeff, you're dead wrong here. Just because this guy was closer than most folks to be able to yell what he's thinking within earshot of the ref in no way excuses the referee - the arbiter of the game! - losing his cool. This guy should be suspended for the remainder of the playoffs, if not fired.

2:36 – Dwight Howard, in the offseason, needs to leave his phone at home, take only what he can carry, and go get a log cabin or something. Seriously. The Magic are a team that has a lot of negative energy all the time, mostly from the Head Coach. Dwight's tantrums are affecting everyone out there. Please, Dwight. Stop whining and play the game. After you clubbed Pierce, he got carried away, yelled a couple times, then went right back to business.

1:17 – Rashard is wilting like he did in the Finals last year. Good thing he's only signed to the mid-level exception. Wait, what?

4th Q

10:00 - Well, let’s see if they can make it a game. If Orlando cares, it will get close.

8:xx – This game is just ugly. Basketball is basketball, I guess?
7:44 – Was that really a moving screen? I have my doubts. There is no consistency to these calls at all.

6:57 – Is JJ the smartest player on the floor for Orlando now? [Note: Things I type that I will regret later upon posting, volume 2 - that.]

Commercial – how typical is this game for both squads? Orlando gets hit in the nose by the refs and they whine like children. Boston can’t help but make the game interesting in the 4th Q.

4:24 – Gotta run the O through Dwight now. Kick the ball into him and see what Boston does. Collapse and pass out. Space out and go strong. They're not making shots, so here's your chance.

3:35 – They took the lead. God bless ‘em.

2:20 – Redick shows some surprising athleticism and gets by KG only to have a bad charge called. First, it wasn't a charge at all; it was definitely a blocking foul. Second, JVG says there was a foul on KG with the reach-in; I'd agree, but I'd also not fault the refs for the no-call, as I have been railing against ticky-tack calls all game. C’est le jeu ("That is the game").

31.9 – Hats off to Pierce. Great game for him.

30.6 – Ouch. Big 2 misses by Vince. Nick Anderson part 2.

Conclusion – In between the referees blowing whistles, we had a basketball game tonight. I can’t say I’m surprised with the result. Orlando once again played up to snuff in Q4, but started off slow as usual. It seems Boston is doing just enough to win. Typical game for both sides, like I said earlier.

While I want to get really mad at Redick for messing up that timeout situation, he played extremely well for most of tonight. While I want to get mad at Vince for missing the two free throws, he played well for most of tonight. The guy I am going to criticize is Rashard Lewis, who again is disappearing on a big stage. Essentially, we have the same C's team as last year, except with a vastly improved Rajon Rondo. I know you put up some stinkers in the Finals, but you played pretty well last year against the C's in that series. Find that Rashard and make sure he shows up. Ryan Anderson not getting any burn is ridiculous. He had more of a pulse on the bench than Rashard did for a long time.

The series isn't over, but it's a pretty tall order. We'll find out what the Magic are made of pretty soon, whether they are a Tercel from SVG's lot or a full blown Maserati.