200th Post: Perfection - One Man's Account of Roy Halladay's Perfect Game

by Red Herring

[Note: PLS's own Red Herring was at the Marlins/Phillies game for this memorable occasion.]

Perfection:

Living in South Florida I have a plethora of entertainment options on a Saturday. Luckily for me I choose to attend the Phillies-Marlins game. At this point I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that My wife, Mrs. Red, was the driving force behind this decision. I didn’t even know who was pitching until I was already in the car and asked my wife to look up the probable pitchers. Tonight its Halladay and Johnson she read to me off the Marlins webpage. I told her, that’s a really good pitching matchup I’m excited about this now.

The first three innings were spent like most normal innings are when you’re at a ball game. Ordering a beer, ordering a second beer, the trek to the concession stand where and selecting something that will probably take five minutes off my life. By the fifth inning I did notice something. The Marlins had no hits, I think to myself, have they had any base runners? A quick check of the box score on my iPhone tells me no, they haven’t had a single base on balls.

Holly crap! This is a perfect game I’m watching! But it’s only the fifth, plenty of time for the Marlins to get someone on base and break it up.

There are certain rules to watching a perfect game. But you only need to remember one rule to do it properly. YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE PERFECT GAME. Why am I telling you this? Because the gaggle of middle school aged boys behind me seems to have forgotten that very simple rule. From the fifth inning on these children were mentioning perfect game, saying perfect game and doing everything short of lighting a fire and sending smoke signals to people on the other side of the stadium alerting them to the perfect game they were watching. This pissed me off. Being a baseball fan I know that there have only been 19 perfect games in the history of the game. 19! Professional baseball has been played in this country for over 100 years and a perfect game has happened 19 times and these kids are doing everything they can to jinx it. Instead of being able to tell their children I saw a perfect game they will be able to say “I saw Roy Halladay pitch a perfect game into the 6th inning. That’s bush.

Anyway back to the game. I started taking notes on my iPhone when I realized what was going on but honestly, at some point between the fifth and seventh inning I just put it away and started watching. Simply put, Roy Halladay is the best pitcher in baseball. He was not on the same level as the rest of the players on the field that night. He was hitting his spots and not over thinking it. I can’t remember him shaking off his catcher a single time. He threw the ball, caught the ball and then threw the ball again. He was calm and deliberate and most importantly not over thinking things. Far too often athletes will over think what they’re doing and proceed to screw it up. Not Ol’ Roy. He was masterful, he trusted his catcher to call the right pitches and his defense to make plays behind him.

Roy started to fall behind batters after the Seventh inning. He was in several three ball counts but the Marlins seemed to understand that you just don’t break up a perfect game in the eighth inning with a base on balls and they proceeded to swing freely at three ball counts. (or they knew that either the ump wasn’t going to give them a base on balls or Halladay would proceed to beat their brains in on the way to first if they even thought about trying to work a walk against him.)

I had a direct view into the Phillies dugout from my seats and I could see that everyone was treating Roy like he had the plague. Which is another rule for a perfect game. You don’t pat the guy on the back, or talk to him or look at him. You stay as far away as you can, but not too far away. You avoid looking at him, but don’t make it look like you’re trying not to look at him. You sit down, stay away and take your at bats when you come up in the order. I’m sure you also pray that you’re not the one who screws this thing up because you know that you’ll never be able to live it down. Roy was left alone to continue his dominance and it worked out pretty well.

Sometimes you don’t realize how fast the game is played unless you’re actually sitting in the stadium and watching it firsthand. When something happens in a ball game it happens quick. Leading off the eighth Jorge Cantu hit a screamer to third and Juan Castro scooped it up and threw Canto out. On TV this looked like a nice play. In person you see things a little differently, everyone in the stadium held their breath when that ball came off Cantu’s bat. Castro lunged to his left and snared it on the hop and made an easy throw to first to get Cantu, but I have never seen a more exciting play in person. It was quick, it was skillful and it was calm sometimes we don’t give enough credit to players for making the easy plays but we have to remember even the easy ones in the bigs are still darn hard to come up with.

Simply put everything that Roy had done that night was in the hands of Castro and Castro didn’t let him down. It was clutch, it was money and it was probably the most important play of the game.

By the time we hit the bottom of the ninth everyone was on their feet. The tension was rolling off of everyone in the stadium, and while there might have been a few die hard Marlins fans there (I know they exist, just not in large numbers or at the actual game very often) everyone else was wishing and rooting and screaming for Halladay to get it done. And he did.

Perfection existed for one man on one Saturday night in Florida. He did everything right, and he was rewarded with joining the most exclusive list of pitchers in the history of the game. Halladay was perfect, and the scary part? He didn’t even look like he was trying very hard to do it.

2010 World Cup Group D Breakdown

by Slate Quicksilver

If Group G is considered the Group of Death, Group D is a relatively close second in that category. Germany anchors the group along with African power Ghana, “Asian” strongmen (in a geographic mystery to be solved later in this breakdown) Australia and an improving Serbia. Germany looks to be the leader in the clubhouse, but second place will be a dogfight between three very good teams.

Australia:

Australia cruised through Asian qualifying surrendering only 4 goals in 12 games. If you are wondering why Australia, generally considered to be its own continent, didn’t play in its qualifying and instead plays in Asia, the answer is simple. Fed up with having to play playoff after playoff and just barely getting edged by a CONCACAF or CONMEBOL team, Australia decided to move to a more powerful Federation where doing well meant qualification. (Note to all other teams in Oceania: Do the same. Our secret dream of a Tahiti – Vanuatu Cup Final in 2034 could come to fruition…) 2006 was the Socceroos first foray into the World Cup in more than 30 years and they did quite well. Australia beat Japan handily, lost to Brazil and tied Croatia. They went on to the Round of 16 and lost to Italy in a very very controversial 1-0 Italian win wherein the Italian player, Fabio Grosso, clearly took a dive inside the Australian penalty box. The ensuing penalty kick was converted and Italy moved on (Ed. Note: It was seriously a complete joke. American sport fans can relate this to Don Denkinger blowing the call in the ’85 World Series. If you need more a reason to hate the Italians, that is one of many). Australia has a few world class players including Tim Cahill, Brett Emerton and goalie Mark Schwarzer is one of the finest backstops in the world. Australia will need a great deal of skill and luck to get out of this group, making the match against Serbia to close the group extremely important.

Germany:

Germany obliterated all in their path to the World Cup this time around, save for 2 games against Finland. Those two games were ties, and were relative puzzling, seeing as how Germany crushed the rest of the group with style and ease. Along the way, they even defeated Russia on Russian turf to give them their first loss on home soil in Cup qualifying ever. The Germans bring in several big time players to the table. Superstars Michael Ballack and Miroslav Klose bring the firepower at the front end, while Philip Lahm will man the defense. The only question mark hanging over the Germans is how they will deal with this group. There is no easy game in this group, unlike in 2002 or 2006. 2002 gave Die Mannschaft a group of Ireland, Cameroon and Saudi Arabia; all of whom they dealt with easily. 2006 saw them play against lower end teams such as Costa Rica and Ecuador, and they were at home. 2010, as mentioned before does not yield a cake-like substance of a group. Winning the group is the most likely scenario, but Australia and Ghana are not to be trifled and Serbia won their group over France in qualifying, which is no small feat. Germany will not be able to take a minute off in this group, and if they don’t, winning the group will be the prize.

Ghana:

If there is an up-and-coming team in the World, it is Ghana. This is only their second trip to the tournament, but they have been soaring in other parts of the game. They won the FIFA U-20 World Cup in 2009 and have numerous players abroad playing, and starting, for some of the biggest clubs in Europe. Despite two awkward losses to Gabon and Libya earlier in qualifying, the Black Stars qualified easily in African qualifying. Michael Essien anchors the star studded lineup at midfield while Matthew Amoah and Junior Agogo (awesome name) light up the nets on the attack with regularity. Goalie Richard Kingson looks to be the man who will either clinch or kill Ghana’s chances to get out of this group as he will be busy fighting off the impressive attacks of the rest of the group. Experience is something that Ghana has in spades. In Germany 2006, Ghana was the youngest team (avg. age: 24). Many of those players return. This experience will be a necessary commodity in this group. For Ghana to qualify, they must come out swinging. They don’t play Germany until the last day of group play. An already qualified German team could help a Ghanaian team who will need to win at least one game against Australia or Serbia, and then tie the other team.

Serbia:

Yugoslavia, as the maps show, does not exist anymore. In its wake, two teams qualified for the 2010 World Cup: Slovenia and Serbia (Bosnia and Herzegovina lost 2-0 agg. to Portugal in the UEFA playoffs). To bring this statement home, Serbia did not have a team of its own until late 2006. It took no time at all to get back to the success that Yugoslavia had for decades. The Beli Orlovi bumped Group 7 favorite France without even beating them (0-1-1) by playing stellar defense and winning five straight games in the qualifying stage. Considering the short amount of time Serbia had for this, it was a wonderful victory for the country as France was forced into the playoff against Ireland while their home team got to sit at home and watch the French cheat their way slip past the Irish. Fueling the great defense is Man U’s Nemanja Vidic, who was the 2008-09 English Premier League’s player of the season. Success is certainly not guaranteed, however. Winning their group was impressive, but Ghana cruised their group, Australia didn’t break a sweat and Germany could have played on one foot and still qualified thus getting out of this group will be a great challenge. Likely, a loss is going to be delivered by Germany, but the game against Ghana and Australia is going to be their tournament. A win over Australia could happen, but a rapidly improving Ghana may be a tough matchup.

Predicted Tables:

Germany 2-0-1

Ghana 1-0-2

Australia 0-1-2

Serbia 0-2-1

A Call for Order Re: Fouls

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Enough. Please. For the love of all that is holy, stop.

Please make a "how-to" manual for reffing the NBA playoffs. This really only applies to the East Coast series. The West Coast games I've been watching were pretty solidly refereed, with the referees intervening only when needed, allowing the slashers to get to the basket and not calling such incredibly ticky-tack contact fouls. Those folks should be applauded, or at the very least, hat tipped.

I swear this is the last time I'm going to complain because I think we all know how bad they are. But, two things really stick out of late. First, the NBA upgraded Dwight Howard's elbow to Kevin Garnett's "head" to a Flagrant-1, giving him two of the requisite four points in the Flagrant Bank required for suspension. Second, barring overturning a T, the NBA will have Kendrick Perkins suspended for one game for accruing 6 technical fouls.

Try as I might, it seems nobody has a video of this foul that was allegedly so bad. That's probably because nothing happened. Scene: after a missed bucket by someone on the Celts (it might have been Big Ballerina)...

AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING. PLEASE QUIT WITH THE "GLEN DAVIS IS SOOOO AGILE FOR A BIG MAN" TALK. LOOK, THE DUDE THROWS AROUND HIS FAT AND WRECKS EVERYTHING HE COMES ACROSS. LAST TIME I CHECKED, AGILE MEANT DEXTEROUS AND ABLE TO AVOID THINGS. IF YOU HAVE EVER WATCHED THIS MAN PLAY, YOU WILL CONCLUDE THAT IT IS NIGH IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM NOT TO HIT ANYTHING.

Anyhow, after a missed bucket at the 6:29 mark of the 3rd quarter, Dwight gets a board with his M elbows (you know, from the Y-M-C-A hand motions). KG, who was behind Dwight at the time, starts running down the court as Dwight simultaneously turns to pass the ball upcourt. Dwight turns and brushes KG unintentionally and gets called for a foul after KG realizes he was touched and acts like he got hit in the head with a hammer.

First, there's no way this could have been flagrant because KG was behind Dwight at the time. Unless Dwight has eyes in the back of his head, he didn't see KG coming. Second, as bullish as Dwight is, he wasn't about to get a flagrant on KG for something as trivial as he did. If Dwight Howard wants to foul you flagrantly, he will. (Aside: that should have been a Flagrant 2. Having watched Dwight as long as he's been in the NBA, he very clearly meant to foul hard there. That goes beyond the Bill Laimbeer style of play. He meant to do some harm.) Third, all this was is a favor to the Celtic players for endlessly whining when they get called for the exact same shit they do to everyone else.

That being said...

There's no way Perkins should have gotten the second technical last night. He didn't even look like he mouthed off or said anything to Eddie Rush. Whatever he said to Joey Crawford (recognize a common trend in these bad ref stories?) must have really hurt his feelings, but not enough to challenge him to a fight. As much as I rag on Perk, he got a really raw deal last night on that second one.

However, I do take exception to what Doc Rivers said about Perk not being at fault because of the preponderance of the technicals being double technicals. As they'll tell you quite often in my field, correlation does not necessarily equal causation, but at some point, you've got to call a trend a trend. The Celts have a lot of uncoordinated, bullish big men (Perk, Davis, Scalabrine, who is inactive, Shelden Williams), so we can expect a lot of technicals and double technicals because that's what their job is: go out, let everyone else score, and you do the dirty work of rebounding and mixing it up. It's not like Perkins and Davis are going to remind anybody of Channing Frye and Dirk Nowitzki. They're simply not the same type of player and nowhere near the same kind of fluidity. Shit happens, Doc.

Having said that, I expect the NBA to grant Perk some clemency and wipe out the 2nd of 2 technicals. The NBA is a bit reluctant to wipe out the technicals where the player mouths off to the ref (to protect their employees), but there was no basis for that second one. Given that Big Bumblebee is probably out after trying to take his first steps last night. (Also not a flagrant/technical foul. At some point, you will lower your arms on the way down. It's not like it was a top rope elbow drop.)

This is the last column I (hopefully) will write about the refs. No more than is deserved, I swear.

Why it's hard to hate Ozzie Guillen

by Slate Quicksilver

Goodness knows he says a great deal of stupid things, and he manages his team similar to how a belligerent drunk who watches the game at a bar would, but he'll always have a place in my heart for bring the overly animated 3rd base coach for the Marlins in 2003.

Oh, and he regularly does stuff like this:



Thanks Ozzie (and the Dan LeBatard Show for the pic) for signing a ball for a Cleveland Indians fan last night (Chicago is in the Cleve) with a wonderfully dickish, yet hilarious, message. The "LoL" takes it from great to borderline legendary.

2010 World Cup Group C Breakdown

Group C, on paper, looks to be have the biggest difference between the “haves” and “have nots.” Soccer superpower England is the marquis team in the group and World Cup regular the United States will look to get out of the group stage, but the other two teams, Slovenia and Algeria promise to make the group interesting.

Algeria:

The Desert Foxes (a very cool name) were the most dominant team in Africa during the 1980s. They qualified in 1982 and even upset West Germany 2-1. What followed was one of the worst acts ever done in the tournament’s history, when in the last game of the groups stage, Germany and Austria played each other. A 1-0 win by Germany would ensure that they would go to the group stage with Austria, who already clinched their spot. That is exactly what happened with Austria giving up an easy early goal 10 minutes in followed by 80 minutes of enthusiastic passing and kicking the ball out of bounds. In 1986, Algeria went to the World Cup again but was stuck in a group with Brazil and Spain. It did not go well for them. Unfortunately this year’s installment, Algeria disappeared from the world scene becoming a cellar dweller in Africa. Making the Cup in Africa isn’t what it used to be, it is very challenging to do so and Algeria should be commended for qualifying, but to qualify, Algeria needed to play a tiebreaker with Egypt to make it in. They won every game at home, but they were less than stellar on the road. Unfortunately for the Desert Foxes, the World Cup is not being played in Algeria. They look to have trouble against England and the US and will race Slovenia for last in the group.

England:

New coach Fabio Capello looks to have his squad more than ready to come into the 2010 World Cup with success in mind. In qualifying, they lit up opposing teams in their group for a UEFA zone high total of 34 goals in ten games. They only lost once, to the Ukraine, well after they had qualified. The group stage was kind the Three Lions, with their biggest competition in the group being the US. England has no shortage of incredible players. Names like Rooney, Lampard and Gerrard will certainly be the cornerstones of the English effort names like Jermaine Defoe could be the X factor who could spearhead their success. The only concern is recent play on the big stage. Putting it lightly, they have underwhelmed at world’s biggest tournament. They haven’t won a Cup since 1966, when they hosted it, and in 2002 and 2006, they fizzled out in the quarterfinals (though in 2006, terrible officiating may have helped that). There is a great deal of pressure, as always, on this team. And recent events with a certain player and a certain player’s wife (and certain goings ons) may have lead to instability. Getting to the round of 16 should be no problem. Taking out Algeria and Slovenia should be easy tasks, and the opening game against the United States will likely decide the group winner.

Slovenia:

Considering before 1991, Slovenia did not have a team at all, they should be applauded for making the Tournament for the second time. They should be applauded even more for taking out solid teams like the Czech Republic, Poland and Russia along the way. To get by Russia, they needed to play a 2 leg series with the Russians and beat them on away goals. They scored one in Moscow late in the game, and then shut out the Russians at home giving an aggregate of 2-2, but with Slovenia scoring the coveted away goal. This shouldn’t be so surprising considering how they qualified. Slovenia gave up an amazing 4 goals in all of qualifying. This stalwart defense is what they will rely on in South Africa for success. And they will be called upon playing against England’s strong attack and the US’s athletes. Despite their impressive route to qualification, it is unlikely that they will perform well enough to get by England of the United States. But a victory against Algeria would not be at all surprising.

United States:

The United States, in 2006, had an incredible amount of promise going into the World Cup. They had a top 10 FIFA ranking, but got places in the group of death. A crushing loss to the Czechs followed by a tough loss to Ghana lead to their early exit. Success on the international stage is crucial, many people believe, for the United States to finally embrace the sport as it is embraced abroad. Success in 2010 is tangible, but not guaranteed. The Stars and Stripes cruised through qualifying, but with Mexico being the only other power in the region, this was no surprise. Players going over to Europe to play have brought back solid play and have raised the level of play of their team. The 2009 Confederations Cup saw the US bring down #1 in the world Spain and then almost take away first place until Brazil mounted a massive comeback. What is usually the problem for the team is scoring. The team plays a physical brand on defense but has issues putting the ball in the back of the net. Playing teams like Slovenia and England will not help fix that fact. A win over Algeria should come, and a win against Slovenia could come if patience is shown. The game against England, on June 12^th to open their campaign will be a tough start. Playing intelligently could lead to a draw. Drawing with England would be hailed almost as victory and building on that momentum could see a run deep into the tournament. Or they could do what they did in 2006 and lay an egg. Patriotic feelings are stirring to hope for the first option.

Predicted Tables:

England 2-0-1

United States 2-0-1

Slovenia 1-2-0

Algeria 0-3-0

Old(er), Unathletic Folks Throw Complete Game Shut Out, Blank Harvey Dent 9-0

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

[Note: nothing in this article should be considered to be legal advice of any sort. It is merely the recitation of an opinion held by the author about a current event.]

Okay, so I know a while ago we posted that there would not be any more politics on the site. Well, this isn't so much about partisan politics as it is about something that's happened this morning.

Today, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled in favor of American Needle, Inc. in their lawsuit against the NFL. If you're not familiar, here's a brief summary. American Needle makes hats with logos on them (they are licensed). The NFL gives Reebok exclusive rights in 2001 for making hats (among other things). American Needle sues under the Sherman Anti-Trust Act S 1 & 2, alleging that all 32 teams are acting in conspiracy to monopolize the licenses. American Needle loses. They appeal. They lose again. American Needle and the NFL both appeal to the SCOTUS, ANI seeking a reversal and the NFL seeking the coveted anti-trust exemption, possessed currently by only Major League Baseball (at least in the sports world). They bicker. Judges listen. They rule. And today, they publish.

Put legally, we have the question

"...whether an arrangement is a contract, combination, or conspiracy is different from and antecedent to the question whether it unreasonably restrains trade." American Needle, Inc. v. National Football League, 560 U.S. ____ (2010).

Put more simplier, are NFL teams able to engage in anti-trust behavior (because 32 entities are acting in concert to restrict licensing) or are they a solitary, unified business that does not compete with each other (in terms of trying to get market share, revenues, etc), but with outside leagues?

Apparently, the former. The NFL had a reasonable position, at any rate. They argued that nothing was being done differently than what happens in the NFLPA's collective bargaining agreements (I think...). Also, just because there is evidence of acting in concert doesn't make something a monopoly. In fact, there is a heightened pleading standard when it comes to anti-trust cases like these. "When allegations of parallel conduct are set out in order to make a [section] 1 claim, they must be placed in a context that raises a suggestion of a preceding agreement, not merely parallel conduct that could just as well be independent action." Bell Atlantic Corp. v. Twombly, 550 U.S. 544, 557 (2007). Bully on American Needle for finding enough to get the case to go through.

Quickly, let's look at the fallout:

1. This is not really a pyrrhic victory for AN, but the fight is not over yet. Since the case was reserved and remanded (back to the lower court), American Needle now has to prove that the exclusive agreement unreasonably restrains trade under the Rule of Reason advocated in Standard Oil Co. of NJ v. U.S., 221 U.S. 1. Surprising though it may be to most folks, monopoly power is not in and of itself illegal, so AN still has to show they'd be harmed and that the NFL's restriction is the cause.

2. Expect to see baseball a little more cooperative when the government comes calling. This case may be enough for the government, when and if it gets pissed, to pull the anti-trust exemption MLB currently enjoys. In fact, I would think this gets removed sooner rather than later, but the trick will be finding someone with proper standing to sue.

3. This is a huge defeat for the NCAA, I think, moreso than any other organization of sports not named MLB. The NCAA, as the administrative body of the 300+ member schools of collegiate athletics, would have stood to make a pantload if they could corral the revenues generated by some schools (e.g. UF, Texas). This would essentially have locked in every college to do exactly what the NCAA says if schools cannot make money off of their own licensed gear, since it would control all of the money in college sports. Ironic, though, that this is exactly the same argument used by those who would advocate paying collegiate athletes (e.g. allowing use of their names by default in NCAA xx). While I don't think "QB #15" will be going away anytime soon, it just strikes me as funny that the big time schools didn't speak up against ruling in favor of the NFL because of how much they had to lose and, in the process, lowering the NCAA's already low credibility.

4. I agree with Deadspin's analysis that the NFL doesn't lose, so much as it just fails to win.

5. I disagree, however, with Deadspin's last point about Madden 20xx and agree more with PointofLaw's analysis on point. He says it more succinctly than I could. To quote and reprint:

Update: Deadspin suggests (h/t W.C.) that the ruling will affect exclusive deals with videogame makers. Not so. For example, the Madden series reflects not just deals for the team trademarks, but for the NFL trademarks and the NFLPA rights, which are unaffected by the ruling. Sure, Jerry Jones could individually sell the rights to a Dallas Cowboys game that doesn't mention the NFL or the other 31 teams or any of the players' names, but who is going to buy those rights? And that's before one gets to the Rule-of-Reason analysis that a videogame is much more valuable with all 32 teams' trademarks than with just 31 of them.

That's the nail in the coffin, I think.


So, why did American Needle win this case? I believe, at the heart of it, because the NFL is not centrally planned. Teams do compete within the organization against each other, for example, with free agents. The results of the games are not fixed (the NBA's are, though. BURN!). With respect to merchandising, I believe the SCOTUS was diligent in narrowly tailoring this ruling to merchandise. Though, I do also agree to an extent with this position, that some monopolistic, single-entity powers are ultimately better for the NFL (trickling down to the players also, especially with revenue distribution).

In the end, the impact of a decision for either party wouldn't have been as bad as projected, especially in light of the narrow tailoring of the decision (no pun intended). This won't be the end of sports as we know it, but don't confuse that point; a victory for the NFL would have been more impactful than the present ruling. Nor will the NFLPA et. al have vastly more power than they did before. The NFL could restructure itself to soften or completely mitigate this blow; an example might be declaring that an official Tampa Bay Bucs hat must have both the NFL shield and the TB logo.

Anyway, that's my take and sorry if not all of it makes sense. I am not a lawyer. Yet.

[Note 2: Again, nothing above constitutes legal advice or even sound reasoning.]

Hustle

by Red Herring

We tolerate many things in our professional athletes. From DUIs to sexual assault allegations to murdering dogs. (Fuck you Michael Vick you walking piece of shit I hope you die in a fucking fire.) But one thing that we don’t tolerate is lack of effort. You can be almost anything you want to be outside the lines, but the second your feet hit that playing field you better be giving everything you’ve got. Hanley Ramirez is paying the price for not giving everything he had during a game. Just like the old rule, “if you think you might be gay then you’re gay.” If a player is ever accused of giving questionable effort it’s because he wasn’t trying.

As a people we are extremely forgiving. Get drunk and drive, that’s ok as long as you don’t kill anyone. Have sex with a woman in the bathroom at a bar? Well that’s your word against hers and I guess we have to give you the benefit of the doubt. Be a barbaric asshat and murder dogs in as many ways as you can? FUCK YOU VICK YOU SHITBURGER I HOPE A FUCKING ELEPHANT USES YOU AS A HUMAN SIZED SUPPOSITORY. I mean, give a half-hearted press conference where you say you’re sorry and we’ll let the whole thing slide. But Han-Ram didn’t even have the intelligence to do that, instead when asked about being benched he had a temper tantrum where he said his manager doesn’t know shit about baseball because he didn’t play in the majors. Ramirez has realized that the public wasn’t going to put up with his petulant attitude and has since issued an apology but once you do something like this no one forgets about it. Anyone remember how popular Roberto Alomar was before he spit in that umpires face? No, what everyone remembers is a guy spitting in the umps face on national television. Guess what Hanley, this was your Waterloo and unfortunately you just played the part of Napoleon.

So long popular Han-Ram, we hardly knew ya.

Fuck you Vick.

2010 World Cup Group B Breakdown

by Slate Quicksilver

Group B in the 2010 World Cup promises one thing: Anarchy. Argentina is the headliner in the group, but deciding a number two team between South Korea, Greece and Nigeria is not an easy task. Nor will it be easy to qualify in this group, as there is no team that is an easy target to destroy.

Argentina:

Lead once again by their country’s biggest sports hero, Diego Maradona, the Argentineans look to be primed to win this group with style and ease… but that is only on reputation and talent. Looking at Argentina's qualifying, you'll see that they needed to scrap together 2 wins to qualify for the World Cup for the 10^th time in a row after dropping games late in qualifying to Paraguay and Brazil and they suffered positively crushing (and confusing) loss to Bolivia 6-1 earlier in process. Argentina, like France, is a team loaded with talent who only needs to qualify to be a potential winner, so we will leave their qualifying woes at that. We will also ignore international super duper mega star Lionel Messi’s lack of success on the international field (he is a destroyer of worlds for Barcelona). Putting it plainly, Argentina will require Messi to retain his form from league play and Maradona needs to get his players in line for the month long tournament. In a country that lives and breathes for their home team’s success, perhaps Maradona is the perfect coach for the team as no one else knows about success in the magnifying light of the world’s biggest event. They will cruise to the round of 16 in style.

Greece:

After winning the 2004 Euro Cup, Greece had high hopes for 2006’s World Cup. Those hopes were not even remotely realized thanks to a pitiful qualifying campaign. 2008’s Euro Cup was not much better. Now that Greece has qualified for the 2010 Cup (their first since ’94), they are hoping to spark whatever created their run in 2004. Greece’s qualifying wasn’t pretty, but they qualified after dispatching the Ukraine in the playoffs 1-0 (agg). Greece will certainly be looking toward erasing their first and only trip to the World Cup from the history books with a successful run. In 1994, Greece laid an egg by losing to Bulgaria, Argentina and Nigeria by an aggregate of 0-10. Yes, zero goals scored, ten goals surrendered. Greece is far better now, and they have to be inspired by the recent fracturing of their country thanks to miserable economic issues, and even more they would surely like some Cup revenge against Argentina and Nigeria. They feature the highest scoring player in Euro qualifying, Theofanis Gekas, and their coach Otto Rehhagel is most certainly not short in experience. Greece has the ingredients for success, but will they put it together like in 2004. Argentina will likely roll over them, but Nigeria and South Korea will be firefights. In the end, it’s hard to see them beating both Nigeria and South Korea, but at least this time… they’ll score a goal.

Nigeria:

In 1994, Nigeria shocked the soccer universe by beating Bulgaria 3-0 to open up the ’94 World Cup and then going on to come within 1 minute in qualifying time to make it to the Round of 8. In 1998, the Super Eagles had another successful run. Unfortunately in 2002, they got drawn into the group of death and didn’t make it out. In 2006, they didn’t qualify. They hope to see a reversal of this downward arc in 2010. Qualifying didn’t make that feeling strong in any way, shape or form. They needed a semi miraculous upset of Tunisia by Mozambique to bail them out from a slow start in the final round of qualifying and a come from behind 3-2 win in Kenya to seal the deal. Nigeria has plenty of European based talent to build upon on their squad, but youth may be an issue. The old guard who took them to 3 straight Cups are almost all gone at this point, so the Super Eagles will need to be held steady as they play superpower Argentina to open the tournament. If Argentina were to flex their muscles, it will be on their veterans to keep the wheels from falling off the bus. Success is hardly a guarantee, but a win and a draw against the smaller teams in their group could lead to a backdoor to the Round of 16. And seeing as how this is Africa’s first Cup, there is no telling if Nigeria will become a secondary favorite by the locals. That would be a huge boost to this young team.

South Korea:

If forced to guess how many times consecutively South Korea has qualified for the World Cup, how many guesses would it take for you to get to seven? It’s not that this team lacks talent, it’s that other than their homegrown super run in the 2002 World Cup (played in their backyard and they got a little help from blind refs), the Taeguk Warriors had a tendency to get steamrolled before their successful run. 2006 saw a near miss to the Round of 16, so being South Korea appears to have shaken the jitters plaguing them in previous campaigns and they will look to keep it going in 2010. They qualified with ease but they had 3 ties with their eternal enemy, North Korea, who also qualified (but they are expected to get obliterated out of the tournament to the point where one expert said the best case scenario for them “not to come in dead last place.” More on that in group G). Korea has been sending more players abroad and the quality of their play is directly correlated to that, but will they be able to secure a victory from Nigeria or Greece? I vote no. This group is not a good matchup for the Koreans, like in 2002 where they had the Americans and a weakened Portugal to get by, and their results will reflect that.

Predicted Tables

Argentina 3-0-0

Nigeria 1-1-1

Greece 0-1-2

South Korea 0-2-1