by Slate Quicksilver
Tomorrow, Iroquois will give you a play by play for national recruiting day. He will help give the skinny on all the new kids. Fresh faces and glimmering hopes will be shown on TV while they pick up a hat amongst other hats whilst the sports media explodes over theoretical possibilities. Those gentlemen had better enjoy it, because once they leave for the NFL, they will be ruthlessly analyzed, tracked and examined by NFL scouts. These scouts will look at every flaw, every imperfection of any kind to see just if you'll be the next Peyton Manning, or the next R. Jay Soward. Who is R. Jay Soward?
"Unfortunately, it was a slow downhill trip for Soward from there, bottoming out when he was almost killed by the USC mascot, Traveler, a horse, while he gestured at the opposing team's fans on his way to the bathroom in the middle of a game during his senior season."
The Jacksonville Jaguars scout team was able to look at that and say: "Gee golly, you know what? I think we should pump several million dollars even if he does have an admitted huge drug problem." He was out of the league in 2 years.
So what makes an NFL scout tick? The PLS crack squad of investigators has found that out. We captured a voice recorder from the Senior Bowl, and the results are very enlightening.
"I just don't know about Taylor Mays. His left hand is a quarter inch smaller in diameter."
"Roderick Muckelroy looks great. His pecs are exploding out of that tight white compression shirt with his nipples pressing outward like... Wait what? Oh yeah, first round."
"Geno Atkins' teeth are just slightly off white. Mid Second Round"
"George Selvie drives a Volkswagen Jetta. Totally a girl car... mid-late first round."
"Terrance Cody looks out of shape and is struggling with his blocking assignments and might have trouble contemplating NFL defensive playbooks. Top 5 pick."
"Mardy Gilyard reminds me of a young John Cleese."
"Ed Dickson is black?"
"This McDonalds is not sitting well with me. Oh, right Tony Pike. 4th round."
"Jacoby Ford went to the bathroom and didn't wash his hands. 3rd rounder at best."
"Tim Tebow is the worst QB in the history of the universe and should be shot for even attempting to play football."
"Ciron Black reminds me of my 7th grade crush, Sharon Thompson. Things didn't end well, if I remember. 2nd rounder."
"Sean Witherspoon is Taurus. The moon is in the 7th house, so stay away until the 3rd round."
"Dexter McCluster cannot be a real name. /Ignore"
"Vladimir Ducasse is from a D2 school... Have fun in the CFL, ya hoser."
"LeGarrette Blount, is a real standup guy... 1st rounder. No question marks here."
"Ed Wang has average footing, solid hand technique and a good grip on the game."
"John Conner dropped a pass out of the backfield. Hasta la vista."
"Dan LeFevour had lesser stats against far more inferior competition compared with Tim Tebow. 2nd round."
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Programming Note for National Signing Day
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
As some of you college football enthusiasts know, tomorrow is National Signing Day, the earliest day for which recruits can sign Letters of Intent to enroll at their respective universities. Most kids get it out of the way tomorrow. I'll be doing a live blog of updates with a modicum on analysis on who wins, who loses, etc.
Bottom line, if you have no interest in stalking the activities of 17 and 18 year old boys, I suggest you skip tomorrow. Recruiting is one of the more niche activities we could blog about, so I figured I'd give fair warning.
As some of you college football enthusiasts know, tomorrow is National Signing Day, the earliest day for which recruits can sign Letters of Intent to enroll at their respective universities. Most kids get it out of the way tomorrow. I'll be doing a live blog of updates with a modicum on analysis on who wins, who loses, etc.
Bottom line, if you have no interest in stalking the activities of 17 and 18 year old boys, I suggest you skip tomorrow. Recruiting is one of the more niche activities we could blog about, so I figured I'd give fair warning.
Monday, February 1, 2010
The First Annual Potluck Sports Golf Gala Presented by Fishbowls
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
It's been...never...since we wrote about golf on here, despite what the sidebars say. So, we'll take this time to showcase the inaugural PLS Golf Gala. Slate was in town this weekend and, by virtue of the fact I have to mention that, should indicate that this does not happen very often. On Friday, we gathered our things and headed to the local course to get in a round of 18. As this site indicates, Slate was relieved to begin playing golf again, as it is quite unpleasant this time of the year. Sunny Florida again proves why living up North is overrated. But that is another column for another time (and maybe another site).
The round took place at the Hilaman Golf Course in "beautiful" Tallahassee, FL. Overall, it was a fairly challenging course. You could definitely tell that the course had been purchased from country club. Most municipal courses in Florida are by and large flat. Hilaman was actually quite striking in its elevation changes, some holes having a 20+ ft. elevation change from tee box to green. Some highlights from the event:
- It was evident that neither party had played for quite some time. If I owned a digital camera (or any camera, really), I would photograph the score card and upload it. Suffice it to say, we were going the opposite way of good scores.
- At one point, I got marked down for a lower score than what I actually had. I went back to change it and Slate busted out a quality Simpsons reference (paraphrased): "You know, Iroquois, the traditional way to cheat at golf is to lower your score." Well played, Octavio.
- I spent more time at the beach than David Hasselhoff. Chuckle, chuckle. But, seriously, I sucked out loud.
- Slate had his own problems. He was pretty much a walking threat to any house on the course. I think he might have hit 4 or 5 houses and might have put out a car window. They have no proof, though.
- Hole #4 on the course contains one of my greater enemies in golf: water in the front. For some reason, stuff chokes me up every time. We eventually had to skip Hole 4 because there was a massive bottlenecking effect going on.
- For all of the bad stuff, there was a fair amount of positive things to take away. Hole #13 is tailor made for guys like Slate, who have this really terrible flaw in their swing. For some reason--get this--he swings left handed. What a joke; he must fancy himself some sort of trick golfer. Anyhow, he's tuned his driver to give him a bit of a draw and roll on perfect contact and he blasted the shot around a dogleg left. It was quite beautiful.
- Something positive about my round...let's see. I had near perfect putting lines. That's really all I can claim I did well.
With this additional space, I'm going to take a stand on a soapbox. Golf is one of those games that really needs to be fun because it can be so inherently frustrating. If you slump in basketball, say, you can contribute in other ways to the game. Golf is pretty much self-contained. Therefore, there should be two sets of agreed upon rules. There are pro rules, like the ones in use on the PGA.
There should also be the layman rules. I don't know what these rules would be but they should exist. One thing I'd suggest is stopping at double par. You've already embarrassed yourself enough beforehand. We've probably all been stuck behind people who suck and show no courtesy to other parties by not letting them go through but don't want to be big enough jerks to go get a ranger. True experience: I was once stuck behind a group of players who were so unfamiliar with the game they were actually hitting the ball backwards at one point. Double par is a good compromise between stopping the bleeding and keeping pace of play. Everything in these casual rules should also be a playable hazard (use of the foot and hand wedge encouraged in moderate doses). Sometimes, trying to play impossible shots is fun!
Anyhow, the event was a rousing success. Afterwards, we attended a philanthropy dinner wherein money was raised to support the continued preservation and expansion of a reserve for the Jackalope. Interestingly enough, Ted Turner made an appearance. I think we all remember the incident from last cocktail party. Poor fellow didn't know he just bet CNN in a poker game. C'est la vie, Ted.
It's been...never...since we wrote about golf on here, despite what the sidebars say. So, we'll take this time to showcase the inaugural PLS Golf Gala. Slate was in town this weekend and, by virtue of the fact I have to mention that, should indicate that this does not happen very often. On Friday, we gathered our things and headed to the local course to get in a round of 18. As this site indicates, Slate was relieved to begin playing golf again, as it is quite unpleasant this time of the year. Sunny Florida again proves why living up North is overrated. But that is another column for another time (and maybe another site).
The round took place at the Hilaman Golf Course in "beautiful" Tallahassee, FL. Overall, it was a fairly challenging course. You could definitely tell that the course had been purchased from country club. Most municipal courses in Florida are by and large flat. Hilaman was actually quite striking in its elevation changes, some holes having a 20+ ft. elevation change from tee box to green. Some highlights from the event:
- It was evident that neither party had played for quite some time. If I owned a digital camera (or any camera, really), I would photograph the score card and upload it. Suffice it to say, we were going the opposite way of good scores.
- At one point, I got marked down for a lower score than what I actually had. I went back to change it and Slate busted out a quality Simpsons reference (paraphrased): "You know, Iroquois, the traditional way to cheat at golf is to lower your score." Well played, Octavio.
- I spent more time at the beach than David Hasselhoff. Chuckle, chuckle. But, seriously, I sucked out loud.
- Slate had his own problems. He was pretty much a walking threat to any house on the course. I think he might have hit 4 or 5 houses and might have put out a car window. They have no proof, though.
- Hole #4 on the course contains one of my greater enemies in golf: water in the front. For some reason, stuff chokes me up every time. We eventually had to skip Hole 4 because there was a massive bottlenecking effect going on.
- For all of the bad stuff, there was a fair amount of positive things to take away. Hole #13 is tailor made for guys like Slate, who have this really terrible flaw in their swing. For some reason--get this--he swings left handed. What a joke; he must fancy himself some sort of trick golfer. Anyhow, he's tuned his driver to give him a bit of a draw and roll on perfect contact and he blasted the shot around a dogleg left. It was quite beautiful.
- Something positive about my round...let's see. I had near perfect putting lines. That's really all I can claim I did well.
With this additional space, I'm going to take a stand on a soapbox. Golf is one of those games that really needs to be fun because it can be so inherently frustrating. If you slump in basketball, say, you can contribute in other ways to the game. Golf is pretty much self-contained. Therefore, there should be two sets of agreed upon rules. There are pro rules, like the ones in use on the PGA.
There should also be the layman rules. I don't know what these rules would be but they should exist. One thing I'd suggest is stopping at double par. You've already embarrassed yourself enough beforehand. We've probably all been stuck behind people who suck and show no courtesy to other parties by not letting them go through but don't want to be big enough jerks to go get a ranger. True experience: I was once stuck behind a group of players who were so unfamiliar with the game they were actually hitting the ball backwards at one point. Double par is a good compromise between stopping the bleeding and keeping pace of play. Everything in these casual rules should also be a playable hazard (use of the foot and hand wedge encouraged in moderate doses). Sometimes, trying to play impossible shots is fun!
Anyhow, the event was a rousing success. Afterwards, we attended a philanthropy dinner wherein money was raised to support the continued preservation and expansion of a reserve for the Jackalope. Interestingly enough, Ted Turner made an appearance. I think we all remember the incident from last cocktail party. Poor fellow didn't know he just bet CNN in a poker game. C'est la vie, Ted.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Maple Leafs Trying Not to Wither and Die
By Annie Detroit
Ok, so the headline was a little over dramatic, but it got your attention, didn't it? As if the Toronto Maple Leafs COULD wither and die. They've been around since the first World War. They have 13 Stanley Cups and are all that is right with the 51 state we call Canada. If the Leafs were to go down, so would civilization north of the border.
That is why the Leafs made a desperate move in trading goaltender Vesa Toskala for the Ducks Jean-Sebastien Giguere. Unfortunately, Toronto GM Brian Burke may have made the wrong move in this trade. Giggy has not pulled down the numbers he did when he led the Anaheim Mighty-less Ducks to their first Stanley Cup in franchise history. His GAA so far this season is an inflated 3.14 with only four winds in 20 games. Then again, Vesa Toskala is also a shadow of his former self, reeling in a whopping 3.66 GAA in 26 games and a whole 7 wins.
Had this trade taken place three years ago, it would've been a HUGE deal. These two still relatively young (born only four days apart 33 years ago) goaltenders seem to have already hit and passed their stride. Had this trade happened three years, Don Cherry may have had a coronary embolism. I guess in a effort to spare the life of the Canadian hero, the two teams waited until just before the Olympic Break to make the deal.
Remember that Brian Burke was the GM of that same Stanley Cup winning Ducks team that Giguere goal tended for. So what is it about the French-Canadian that gives Burke a hard-on? What is it the Maple Leafs expect Giguere to do in Toronto aside from getting Giggy with it?
Well, Giguere's playoff statistics really aren't that bad to look at. A career 2.08 GAA in the postseason really does play in his favor. He does have a tendency to come up big in the playoffs when his team needs it. But in order for that to happen, the Leafs actually have to make the playoffs. They're hold steady in the bottom half of the league in team scoring and they are currently dead last in penalty kill situations, killing off only 70%. In this deal for Giguere, the Leafs also acquired defenseman Dion Phaneuf out of Calgary. Not very good looking statistically, Phaneuf is only a +3 in 50 games this season and only 22 points.
So is Burke trying to re-create the magic of the 06-07 Ducks team in Toronto? Or is he waving the white flag with another 26 games still to play? With Toronto's last Stanley Cup coming in 1967, I guess they're willing to try anything. I wonder what Tie Domi is doing these days? Now that would at least be entertaining.
Ok, so the headline was a little over dramatic, but it got your attention, didn't it? As if the Toronto Maple Leafs COULD wither and die. They've been around since the first World War. They have 13 Stanley Cups and are all that is right with the 51 state we call Canada. If the Leafs were to go down, so would civilization north of the border.
That is why the Leafs made a desperate move in trading goaltender Vesa Toskala for the Ducks Jean-Sebastien Giguere. Unfortunately, Toronto GM Brian Burke may have made the wrong move in this trade. Giggy has not pulled down the numbers he did when he led the Anaheim Mighty-less Ducks to their first Stanley Cup in franchise history. His GAA so far this season is an inflated 3.14 with only four winds in 20 games. Then again, Vesa Toskala is also a shadow of his former self, reeling in a whopping 3.66 GAA in 26 games and a whole 7 wins.
Had this trade taken place three years ago, it would've been a HUGE deal. These two still relatively young (born only four days apart 33 years ago) goaltenders seem to have already hit and passed their stride. Had this trade happened three years, Don Cherry may have had a coronary embolism. I guess in a effort to spare the life of the Canadian hero, the two teams waited until just before the Olympic Break to make the deal.
Remember that Brian Burke was the GM of that same Stanley Cup winning Ducks team that Giguere goal tended for. So what is it about the French-Canadian that gives Burke a hard-on? What is it the Maple Leafs expect Giguere to do in Toronto aside from getting Giggy with it?
Well, Giguere's playoff statistics really aren't that bad to look at. A career 2.08 GAA in the postseason really does play in his favor. He does have a tendency to come up big in the playoffs when his team needs it. But in order for that to happen, the Leafs actually have to make the playoffs. They're hold steady in the bottom half of the league in team scoring and they are currently dead last in penalty kill situations, killing off only 70%. In this deal for Giguere, the Leafs also acquired defenseman Dion Phaneuf out of Calgary. Not very good looking statistically, Phaneuf is only a +3 in 50 games this season and only 22 points.
So is Burke trying to re-create the magic of the 06-07 Ducks team in Toronto? Or is he waving the white flag with another 26 games still to play? With Toronto's last Stanley Cup coming in 1967, I guess they're willing to try anything. I wonder what Tie Domi is doing these days? Now that would at least be entertaining.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
A Course Correction
by Slate Quicksilver
This site is not, believe it not, try to adhere to a political philosophy. Yes, one party usually is attacked more than the other, but this site is composed of multiple political stances. We have, and won't name names, two democrats and two republicans on staff representing a nice cross section of politics in the post-modern world. A "moderate Republican", a "centrist Democrat", an "almost libertarian" and a "I only get political news from the Daily Show."
We remain balanced and although the soup-du-jour is to either slash/laud at "wasteful/progressive" Democrats or deride/praise "obstructionist/stalwart" Republicans, we do not want to tip our hand to a certain political party. Red mentioned Michael Jordan's truthfully funny admission that "Republicans buy shoes too" and that is an excellent point.
From Muhammad Ali refusing to go to Vietnam to Gerald Ford playing football at Michigan and going on to be President to Richard Nixon calling to the Miami Dolphins sideline to call a pass play in an important game (2 WR left slant and slot drag... incomplete pass) to Lynn Swann, Hall of Fame WR for the Steelers, running for Gov. of Pennsylvania. Sports and politics have a touch and go relationship.
These days, most sports players hold their political thoughts to their heads. It was called "refreshing" when Injured Reserve All-Star Greg Oden openly supported Barack Obama in 2008 and Jay Feely was crushed just for walking on to a FOXnews set. Is it fair? Probably not. But to this person, politics and sports should not be included. Sports is an exit for many millions of people and rehashing things of a political nature just brings up things that those many millions are trying to escape from. Unfortunately, this country is very divided... politically. We entered the Century riding an economic bubble (yes, I am aware it was about 60% artificially created) and a feeling of invincibility. After a decade of terrible issues, circumstances and in some cases decisions coupled with political infighting and a lack of admission that things were getting worse, this country has been splintered.
Whether or not you support or oppose Roe v. Wade, it is this person's opinion that we don't need to talk about it during the Super Bowl. Abortions are, and always will be, controversial. It is one of those issues that both sides are unmovable and will not convince the other side just by showing a commercial. It will require logical talks between both sides and some form of compassion. Sadly, logic and compassion rarely touch this particular debate on the American landscape. "Don't have an abortion" to most levelheaded Americans is a statement with gravity, yet passiveness. But in other cases, it will just splinter and fracture.
Tebow is doing what he thinks is right. That is, without question, commendable. Even if you wish for an abortion clinic in every garage, it would take a soul of stone to not be able to tip your hat to someone who is willing to stand up for their beliefs in the face losing face in multiple facets of society. Some will applaud. Some will demean. Some will turn the other cheek and some will just hit the mute button.
We must mention however CBS's curious decision to not air an ad promoting a gay dating website. The ad includes two gentlemen making out at the end of the commercial and that in itself would cause an uproar. CBS made a conscious decision that two gay men kissing is not OK, but bringing up a divisive topic is OK. Whether or not CBS made the decision on the grounds of politics or discretion, we don't know. We do know that CBS has shown godaddy.com commercials involving two women kissing. This, the same CBS which had a full 2 minutes of delay tape to edit out the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" and did not do so.
The "Obama Backs Saints" post was done as a political satire making fun of borderline childish state of politics that plagues the nation. Digs at both political parties were made. Previous posts with slight political spin (re: The one where an attempt to imitate Glenn Beck/the one where Alabama Gov. Bob Riley was put to the hot coals over a stupid bet) were done either by poking at sillyness that has invaded the political scene: In the "Doomsday Scenario" it was done to poke at his wild accusation throwing craziness that even most ardent Republicans shy away from but put into a college football context. In "Because It's the South... That's Why" we were making fun of the "ticky-tack" issues that bog down the political system.
Anyway, we here at PLS will back off politics for a while. We are here to demean Lane Kiffin... among other things... but we are not here to talk politics. From someone whose facebook page states that his political view is "National League" and his religious view is "SEC Football", I apologize for the political spin that have poured from this site. We are still in our infancy as a site and we will not pull a deadspin.com and fly too close to the sun and effectively get stuck being TMZsports (in our case... politicosports.com).
So, allow me to bridge a gap. Here is something we all can agree on: The new PLS stance on aquatic mammals.
This site is not, believe it not, try to adhere to a political philosophy. Yes, one party usually is attacked more than the other, but this site is composed of multiple political stances. We have, and won't name names, two democrats and two republicans on staff representing a nice cross section of politics in the post-modern world. A "moderate Republican", a "centrist Democrat", an "almost libertarian" and a "I only get political news from the Daily Show."
We remain balanced and although the soup-du-jour is to either slash/laud at "wasteful/progressive" Democrats or deride/praise "obstructionist/stalwart" Republicans, we do not want to tip our hand to a certain political party. Red mentioned Michael Jordan's truthfully funny admission that "Republicans buy shoes too" and that is an excellent point.
From Muhammad Ali refusing to go to Vietnam to Gerald Ford playing football at Michigan and going on to be President to Richard Nixon calling to the Miami Dolphins sideline to call a pass play in an important game (2 WR left slant and slot drag... incomplete pass) to Lynn Swann, Hall of Fame WR for the Steelers, running for Gov. of Pennsylvania. Sports and politics have a touch and go relationship.
These days, most sports players hold their political thoughts to their heads. It was called "refreshing" when Injured Reserve All-Star Greg Oden openly supported Barack Obama in 2008 and Jay Feely was crushed just for walking on to a FOXnews set. Is it fair? Probably not. But to this person, politics and sports should not be included. Sports is an exit for many millions of people and rehashing things of a political nature just brings up things that those many millions are trying to escape from. Unfortunately, this country is very divided... politically. We entered the Century riding an economic bubble (yes, I am aware it was about 60% artificially created) and a feeling of invincibility. After a decade of terrible issues, circumstances and in some cases decisions coupled with political infighting and a lack of admission that things were getting worse, this country has been splintered.
Whether or not you support or oppose Roe v. Wade, it is this person's opinion that we don't need to talk about it during the Super Bowl. Abortions are, and always will be, controversial. It is one of those issues that both sides are unmovable and will not convince the other side just by showing a commercial. It will require logical talks between both sides and some form of compassion. Sadly, logic and compassion rarely touch this particular debate on the American landscape. "Don't have an abortion" to most levelheaded Americans is a statement with gravity, yet passiveness. But in other cases, it will just splinter and fracture.
Tebow is doing what he thinks is right. That is, without question, commendable. Even if you wish for an abortion clinic in every garage, it would take a soul of stone to not be able to tip your hat to someone who is willing to stand up for their beliefs in the face losing face in multiple facets of society. Some will applaud. Some will demean. Some will turn the other cheek and some will just hit the mute button.
We must mention however CBS's curious decision to not air an ad promoting a gay dating website. The ad includes two gentlemen making out at the end of the commercial and that in itself would cause an uproar. CBS made a conscious decision that two gay men kissing is not OK, but bringing up a divisive topic is OK. Whether or not CBS made the decision on the grounds of politics or discretion, we don't know. We do know that CBS has shown godaddy.com commercials involving two women kissing. This, the same CBS which had a full 2 minutes of delay tape to edit out the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" and did not do so.
The "Obama Backs Saints" post was done as a political satire making fun of borderline childish state of politics that plagues the nation. Digs at both political parties were made. Previous posts with slight political spin (re: The one where an attempt to imitate Glenn Beck/the one where Alabama Gov. Bob Riley was put to the hot coals over a stupid bet) were done either by poking at sillyness that has invaded the political scene: In the "Doomsday Scenario" it was done to poke at his wild accusation throwing craziness that even most ardent Republicans shy away from but put into a college football context. In "Because It's the South... That's Why" we were making fun of the "ticky-tack" issues that bog down the political system.
Anyway, we here at PLS will back off politics for a while. We are here to demean Lane Kiffin... among other things... but we are not here to talk politics. From someone whose facebook page states that his political view is "National League" and his religious view is "SEC Football", I apologize for the political spin that have poured from this site. We are still in our infancy as a site and we will not pull a deadspin.com and fly too close to the sun and effectively get stuck being TMZsports (in our case... politicosports.com).
So, allow me to bridge a gap. Here is something we all can agree on: The new PLS stance on aquatic mammals.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tim Tebow Wants You to Keep That Baby
By Red Herring
Michael Jordan was once asked to support a particular candidate in an election in North Carolina but he refused. Why? To quote MJ “Republicans buy sneakers too.” Many professional athletes simply do not become involved in social issues or simply don’t want to get involved. Charles Barkley famously said “I’m no role model.” But just because some athletes decide to stay out of the quagmire that is endorsing one view or another doesn’t mean that they all do.
Tim Tebow has never made a secret about which side of the line he seems to fall on. His pro-life stance is not a secret. It’s a well known fact. He doesn’t shy away from it, he wears it on his sleeve (or eye-black) if you will. He is who he is and there is nothing you can do to change it.
I’ve not seen the TV ad yet. But from what I understand the message is simple, choose life. It talks about the choices Tebow’s mother was confronted with when she was carrying little Tim. This is not a controversial message. This is not a message that should be making people upset. This isn’t a message that should be garnering the ire from a certain segment of the population. How can anyone be upset with an ad that says, “please, don’t have an abortion.”
But Tebow is taking a big risk in sending this message. By sending it he is risking endorsement deals, his popularity with the left and possibly even his draft status (not that his senior bowl workouts have been helping that much). But he is standing for something he believes in, something that Michael Jordan wouldn’t do when it could have cost him money. There is a certain honor associated with taking a stand and following through with it. Tim knows that people are going to disagree with what he has to say, but he is going to say it anyway, because that is how he feels and it is what he believes in.
It is this author’s opinion that if more people were willing to actually practice what they preach then we would live in a much better world. The fact that Tebow is doing exactly that shouldn’t be repugnant to people, it should be liberating.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Obama backs Saints; Republicans Back Colts
by Slate Quicksilver
In an ABCNews interview with Diane Sawyer, President Obama pointed out that although he thinks "both teams are terrific," he is pulling for the Saints to win the Super Bowl. Citing the fact that N'awlins has been through a bunch of bad times lately and what the Saints mean to their city, he is pulling for them. Additionally, President Obama went a bit off track and actually broke the game down a little bit:
"The Saints are a great example of spreading the wealth. QB Drew Brees throws, with regularity, to any of his 4 dynamite wide receivers and large group of fantasy football middle class RBs. I think that they could spread the Colts out a little bit an attack the right side of the defense with slants and digs. Going against Peyton Manning isn't something anyone looks forward to, on defense, but a blitzing strategy with a 'Yes We Can' attitude could keep Manning's damage to a minimum. I think the game will be high scoring, and if you want a guess, I say it'll be 59-41, Saints."
Republicans rushed to attack the President's claims. House Minority Leader John Boehner (not pronounced as hilariously as you would hope... R-OH) slammed the President for calling the Saints' running back corp "middle class... Reggie Bush was an all-time great college football player. He is anything but 'middle class'. He dates Kim Kardas... Kardonsh... The girl whose step dad is that Olympian fella. You can't be middle class and go out with a gold digger of that proportion!" Sean Hannity, of FOXnews, on his television "program" dug into the President claiming that "rooting for a team who distributes the ball evenly to a bunch of RBs and WRs of multiple talents levels is even more proof of his radical Socialist ideals."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, in between signing blank checks to anyone who walked up to her asking for money, quickly stated that she was "rooting for whoever we're (the Democrats) rooting for. Now excuse me while I get a new pen. This is the second pen to run out of ink on me today." Senate Majority leader Harry Reid politely mentioned, when asked what he thought about the game "I think that Saints will win because they have more neg... players of African-American... can I say that?... descent. African-American players are simply faster and quicker than their white or Mexica... Hispanic roots." In related news, the NAACP is calling for a resolution to have Harry Reid not come within 100 feet of a microphone connected to a recording device.
Karl Rove jumped on the President, saying that rooting against the Colts is "insulting to the Haitian people because that one negro who plays flanker for Indianapolis is of Haitian descent." When asked who she thought was going to win the Super Bowl, Former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin pledged her support behind the Dallas Mavericks. Governor Bobby Jindal, Republican Governor of the state of Louisiana, whose support was thought to be hard to get added this: "President Obama's supporting of the Saints shows just how against traditional values he is! The Colts let their QB call the plays, just like the way the game was played when were young and growing up. Rooting against that is to root against time tested values."
As a result, the Republican National Committee held an emergency meeting to pass a resolution that "Prays to the one and only God, Jesus Christ, to lead the traditional Colts to victory over the liberal and Godless Saints in Super Bowl XLVI." When pointed out that it is really Super Bowl XLIV by a reporter at the press conference, RNC chairman Michael Steele apologized stating that they were still "trying figure this whole new computer thing out" and that they had "asked John McCain to type up the release, so really it's his fault."
A national poll on CBS shows that 64% of all Americans want the Saints to win with a margin of error of 3%. Democrats are taking this national opinion and working hard to squabble over what the margin of victory will be. "Blue-Dog" democrats see a close game in the 20s while the Liberal Hippie Democrats from Left Coast see a high scoring game, but are careful not to alienate their political counterparts and state that they see the Saints "barely winning."
Collectively, the Republicans are pretty sure that the Colts will win. This is piggybacking the recent shocking win in Massachusetts for Ted Kennedy's former seat by Republican Scott Brown. "If we can win in Massachusetts, I know we can win the Super bowl!" said Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss.
It is very clear that whoever wins Super Bowl XLIV will more than likely win out in the mid-term elections. The winning party of that, of course will win when Obama goes on to challenge whichever candidate the Republicans limp to the barn with in 2012.
In an ABCNews interview with Diane Sawyer, President Obama pointed out that although he thinks "both teams are terrific," he is pulling for the Saints to win the Super Bowl. Citing the fact that N'awlins has been through a bunch of bad times lately and what the Saints mean to their city, he is pulling for them. Additionally, President Obama went a bit off track and actually broke the game down a little bit:
"The Saints are a great example of spreading the wealth. QB Drew Brees throws, with regularity, to any of his 4 dynamite wide receivers and large group of fantasy football middle class RBs. I think that they could spread the Colts out a little bit an attack the right side of the defense with slants and digs. Going against Peyton Manning isn't something anyone looks forward to, on defense, but a blitzing strategy with a 'Yes We Can' attitude could keep Manning's damage to a minimum. I think the game will be high scoring, and if you want a guess, I say it'll be 59-41, Saints."
Republicans rushed to attack the President's claims. House Minority Leader John Boehner (not pronounced as hilariously as you would hope... R-OH) slammed the President for calling the Saints' running back corp "middle class... Reggie Bush was an all-time great college football player. He is anything but 'middle class'. He dates Kim Kardas... Kardonsh... The girl whose step dad is that Olympian fella. You can't be middle class and go out with a gold digger of that proportion!" Sean Hannity, of FOXnews, on his television "program" dug into the President claiming that "rooting for a team who distributes the ball evenly to a bunch of RBs and WRs of multiple talents levels is even more proof of his radical Socialist ideals."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, in between signing blank checks to anyone who walked up to her asking for money, quickly stated that she was "rooting for whoever we're (the Democrats) rooting for. Now excuse me while I get a new pen. This is the second pen to run out of ink on me today." Senate Majority leader Harry Reid politely mentioned, when asked what he thought about the game "I think that Saints will win because they have more neg... players of African-American... can I say that?... descent. African-American players are simply faster and quicker than their white or Mexica... Hispanic roots." In related news, the NAACP is calling for a resolution to have Harry Reid not come within 100 feet of a microphone connected to a recording device.
Karl Rove jumped on the President, saying that rooting against the Colts is "insulting to the Haitian people because that one negro who plays flanker for Indianapolis is of Haitian descent." When asked who she thought was going to win the Super Bowl, Former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin pledged her support behind the Dallas Mavericks. Governor Bobby Jindal, Republican Governor of the state of Louisiana, whose support was thought to be hard to get added this: "President Obama's supporting of the Saints shows just how against traditional values he is! The Colts let their QB call the plays, just like the way the game was played when were young and growing up. Rooting against that is to root against time tested values."
As a result, the Republican National Committee held an emergency meeting to pass a resolution that "Prays to the one and only God, Jesus Christ, to lead the traditional Colts to victory over the liberal and Godless Saints in Super Bowl XLVI." When pointed out that it is really Super Bowl XLIV by a reporter at the press conference, RNC chairman Michael Steele apologized stating that they were still "trying figure this whole new computer thing out" and that they had "asked John McCain to type up the release, so really it's his fault."
A national poll on CBS shows that 64% of all Americans want the Saints to win with a margin of error of 3%. Democrats are taking this national opinion and working hard to squabble over what the margin of victory will be. "Blue-Dog" democrats see a close game in the 20s while the Liberal Hippie Democrats from Left Coast see a high scoring game, but are careful not to alienate their political counterparts and state that they see the Saints "barely winning."
Collectively, the Republicans are pretty sure that the Colts will win. This is piggybacking the recent shocking win in Massachusetts for Ted Kennedy's former seat by Republican Scott Brown. "If we can win in Massachusetts, I know we can win the Super bowl!" said Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss.
It is very clear that whoever wins Super Bowl XLIV will more than likely win out in the mid-term elections. The winning party of that, of course will win when Obama goes on to challenge whichever candidate the Republicans limp to the barn with in 2012.
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