On the Hilarity of the Possibility of College Football's Playoff

by Slate Quicksilver

We've been gone for almost 2 years, but it's worth mentioning that the 2nd to last and 6th to last involved some form of conference realignment.  It's almost like a time capsule.  We were prepping for the World Cup...  Brazil did not play England in the finals.  Stan Van Gundy was selling cars and weighing in on what he correctly thought would be an unpredictable 2010 finals between the Lakers and Celtics.  And we we're part of the conference apocalypse in the college football landscape: Four 16 team mega conferences were on the horizon.

We certainly weren't correct.  We nailed Colorado moving to the Pac10, we got Mizzou moving but not to the SEC.  TAMU was nothing but a fringe theory to the SEC because we thought they were inseparable from Texas, who we correctly thought weren't going anywhere (and didn't buy the Independent "no-conference" theory, either).  Nebraska was already rumored to be locked in to the Big10, but we also thought Pitt was going there along with Notre Dame and maybe a few others.  We definitely didn't see Pitt jumping to the ACC with Syracuse... though it makes sense.  And finally even in the most absurd thoughts, we never thought the TCU, Boise State and (lol) San Diego State would join the Big East.

Make no mistake, the whole alignment thing transcends the old geographic boundaries.  College football is no longer a regional sport.  Yes, it's hilarious that Boise State would be in a conference called the "Big East" but it's more because of semantics than logistics.  Airplanes, cell phones and hordes of scouts/coaches/"consultants" make college football a national game in that they can recruit players from anywhere across the nation just as easily as it is to send their players across the nation to play their new conference rivals.

All this realignment talk, however, is being put down at the moment by something that would be alter college football's landscape far more than anything like West Virginia moving to the Big12 (though, that does matter and we'll get to that soon).  The fact that it sounds like the BCS is dead, or at least dead in its current carnation, and its replacement could be earth-shattering.  Everyone except the BCS conference commissioners and a few very powerful university presidents has wanted the BCS deader than dead since forever ago.  We've had boondoggles (Auburn, 2004), revolts (Michigan, 2006), multiple hoodwinks (Boise State, 20XX) and outright robberies (LSU-'Bama 2011 part 2)... and that's just the National Championship game.  Let's also share a laugh in the automatic slaughtered lamb the Big East's slot inhabits, despite the fact that the conference is likely a well organized living art comedy joke not unlike the movie Borat wherein the comedy is really the reactions of the audience.  The BCS has been busted, there's no doubt about that, but we lived with it like a nasty cavity because there was literally nothing that could be done about.  Well, we finally have dental insurance.  The first thing we do?  Root canal, bitches.

The SEC and Big12 look like they'll be going to the prom with each other for the next couple of years.  The winners of each conference will play each other probably in the JerryDome in Dallas each year.  This will almost certainly leave the Big10 and Pac12 destined to keep playing each other out in the Rose Bowl.  The Big10 and its infatuation with the Rose Bowl is borderline stalker-esque and honestly we don't know how they would react if they lost it but it would probably involve a mixtape being made at first followed by incremental increases in stalking to point of kidnapping and then, well, this.  Presumably, the winner play each other in a national championship (/gasps... a real one!) and there we go:  a 4 team playoff.  But boy does that set a few people off.

The ACC will be none too pleased with that decision, but what can they do?.

The Big East will OK no cares about the big east (<- lost capitalization right) lololol.

The Mountain West becomes a second tier league to the Big12.

C-USA and the MAC may as well become D-2 schools.  Wait, they are D-1... right?

The WAC?  It died a few weeks back, honey, but thanks for asking and send your condolences C/O Robb Akey, Idaho.

Miami and Florida State?  Laughably irrelevant.  Wait... is it 2008 again?

Virginia Tech?  There's always some blue collared work to be done in the Virginia mountain country.

Boise State?  That's what you get for tying your horse to the anchor of an China bound export freighter.  (The thought of teams like USF, UCF and Connecticut being sent on a freighter to China is, for some reason, really really funny).

But the real loser in all of this is:  Notre Dame.  All of that talk about being independent of conferences and how it helps you and gets better exposure and blablablah...  how's that looking right now?  You didn't want to join any conference, and now it looks like the only way you can be relevant is to be part of a conference.  How funny is that?  Notre Dame's chickens could come home to roost and it will make them spectacularly irrelevant and finally truly leave them surrounded by the echoes of the past that they so desperately hold on to.

So, the College Football Playoff could turn out to be the most epic trolling of all time sports.  The big 4 get together and breathtakingly screw over everyone else:  particularly Notre Dame.  I'm 150% for it.

Though, let's get the name changed of the game between the SEC and Big12 potential championship game:  the "Champions Bowl."  That screams of the work of a bad marketing firm stuck in the 1980s.

Fun With Numbers

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

And they say we can't count in the South because our book learnins are a bit slow.

Reports on conference realignment are now surfacing which state that Texas would prefer to remain as a member of a ten-team Big XII. It is, like most things, a financial decision: Texas could form its own network and pull down a cool $20-$25 mil in revenue from the TV alone. Chip Brown of Orangebloods.com has been absolutely fantastic in covering realignment, so if you need to catch yourself up, I will defer to him.

First things first: the Big XII commish Dan Beebe looks like a goon. He looks like a pasty and less fat Jared Fogle. Speaking of whom, I have no idea if that story in the Jared hyperlink is true, but I wouldn't be surprised. Apparently, for those who don't want to click what is essentially a celebrity gossip webpage, Mr. Fogle ran a pretty successful porno rental service while at IU. Go Hoosiers.

Second, no doubt easily picked up by our quick, clever, and attractive readers, the Big XII would have ten members and the Big Ten would have twelve members. Dopes.

Now, let's look at some real, honest-to-goodness analysis. Why, pray tell, is Texas all of a sudden willing to hold the XII together? Is it really just about the TV revenue? It very well could be. Before the XII, there was the Big 8 and the Southwestern Conference. Arkansas decided to take the SEC's offer to join. Yes, at one point, Arkansas held a decent seat of power in the college football world. Once Arky left, Texas was able to shore up its share and add more of the revenues by helping to hold the SWC together. Later on (3 years or so), Texas left the SWC, orchestrated a merger with the Big 8 and created the Big XII. If you're following present expansion closely enough, substitute Nebraska for Arkansas (Colorado is really irrelevant in the landscape of things here, except they have enabled the Pac 10 to make a run at Utah for a championship game) replace "leaving the SWC" with "threatening to leave the Big XII" and you have history repeating itself, complete with the attempt to keep the league together. Neat, huh?

Here's another thought which is not mutually exclusive with other scenarios, so it can be in play even if something else is. If Texas's plan is to join the Pac-10 all along, then trying to "hold the XII together" makes sense if A&M is truly set on joining the SEC. That way, Texas won't be the bad guy, y'see. They won't be the ones who break up the XII.

Or, nothing can happen. Like it actually did. Thanks, Internet, for going out and making my column dated before it posts!

Programming Note for National Signing Day

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

As some of you college football enthusiasts know, tomorrow is National Signing Day, the earliest day for which recruits can sign Letters of Intent to enroll at their respective universities. Most kids get it out of the way tomorrow. I'll be doing a live blog of updates with a modicum on analysis on who wins, who loses, etc.

Bottom line, if you have no interest in stalking the activities of 17 and 18 year old boys, I suggest you skip tomorrow. Recruiting is one of the more niche activities we could blog about, so I figured I'd give fair warning.

College Football Year in Review for the Season Starting in '09 and Ending in '10: The Hits, The Misses, and the People That Made Them (Part II)

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Click here if you missed Part I.

Worst Human Being Alive Strictly Pertaining to College Football - Lane Kiffin. But, you already knew that. Nominations for Worst Human Being Alive Not Strictly Pertaining to College Football are always accepted on a rolling basis.

Worst Makeover - Mark May and his dumb glasses. It's even worse because they are transition lenses. It may help you to know that I do not myself wear glasses, so it is a bit unfair for me to attack him in this regard, but are transition lenses really all that functional? They're at their absolute worst when there's a mid-range of lighting when they look like a partially tinted car window. I would punch people like that in the face, but apparently hitting people in the face while wearing glasses is frowned upon. Pity.

Worst Team - Wazzou! Washington State is a wasteland. About the only thing cool about them is the fact that their alumni have an ongoing challenge to put the Wazzou flag in the background of every College Gameday show. I like how ESPN has become cognizant of it and now actively seeks it out just to keep the streak going and to help them out, but not actually being able to justify a decision to head out that way. That kind of smugness and pretentiousness that ESPN possesses (and in volume) sometimes manifests itself in hilarious ways like that.

Worst Way to Tell Your Boss That You're Going on Vacation - Urban Meyer's "Leave of Absence" that nearly caused everyone in Gainesville's head to a splode.

Worst Omen for a New Head Coach - Tennessee barking (no pun intended) up the same tree that just bit them. Upon the hiring of Derek Dooley (son of former National Champion Buttsniffer HC Vince Dooley) as their new HC, your esteemed author noted that hiring a well-respected (in some circles) coach's son was the same way that Tennessee football got snakebitten the last time. Of course, I doubt this time it will end as poorly, but Derek Dooley may never get a fair shake if the NCAA finds that the University of Tennessee committed recruiting violations under LK.

Worst Week - Wondy Pierre-Louis, former Gators CB. First, his entire family was wiped out in the Haiti quake. Then, they weren't. Then, four felonies allegedly happen. Rough week for Mr. Pierre-Louis. Not to poke fun at an admittedly awful situation, but your author suggests that if Mr. Pierre-Louis' girlfriend would have run a sluggo route, she would have left Wondy in the dust.

And just to chiggity-check myself...

Worst Previous Prediction by Iroquois Plisken - Most of my bowl game predictions. I would have been better off flipping coins this year.


So ends the college football season of analysis. In a couple of weeks (Feb. 3d, precisely), I will bring an analysis of winners and losers on National Signing Day, which should be called National The First Official Day Recruits Can Officially Sign With A School But Really Are Not Bound By Any Sort of Force To Do So But Amazingly Continue in Said Manner for Several Years Day, but that doesn't look good on a t-shirt or on an on-screen ticker.

College Football Year in Review for the Season Starting in '09 and Ending in '10: The Hits, The Misses, and the People That Made Them (Part I)

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

As my favorite sport draws to a close for another year, it's time that I ask of you, the reader, to bundle up (even in sunny Florida as I type this, it is 18 degrees), kick back in your favorite easy chair (making sure not to disrupt what I am sure is nothing short of an architectural marvel of cheap beer cans), and reminisce with me about the recently ended season. But before I get going, a thought.

Slate has already mentioned it in this space before, but I would again like to post in this space how truly terrible I feel for Colt McCoy. To go down in the beginning minutes of your ultimate game (dual meanings emphasized) is nothing short of sickening, in a la-vita-e-bella kind of way. You really feel for the kid, who by all accounts was dying to get back in the game (as we have come to expect in football), especially when the post-game interview with Sr. McCoy procudes tear-jerkers like this (H/T Bruce Feldman's mailbag. Since it's ESPN Insider, I can't link it, but I do want to just lift a direct quote from Mr. McCoy)

"He looked up at me and said, 'Dad, I had 'em. I had 'em. I knew everything they were doing before they did it. I was fixin' to complete every pass I was going to throw tonight...[w]hy'd this have to happen?'"

I'm not a father yet (or that I know of...), but apparently the days of your son asking you why something happened the way it did, much like a seven year old asks why beloved pet Spike won't be coming home from the vet, never ends.

Having gotten that off of my chest, it's time to delve into what the title speaks: highlights and lowlights from the year gone by. This will take two parts, so I think I'll split them into two columns: best and worst of the year. This one shall be entitled "Best".

Best Player - This has nothing to do with the H---man vote, though I do think it would help to at least mention it. I would posit, as I have previously, that Ndamukong Suh was far and away the best player in college football, though. 82 tackles credited, 47 of them solo, and 12 sacks for his position is simply incredible. We will really never know if it was just weak offensive lines he played against, but my guess is that it would have mattered very little. He's going to be an immediate impact player in the NFL, but for now, he must be content to know that he had a stellar year, ended his career at Nebraska on a high note, and although he could have been in a BCS Bowl if the game had been decided properly, he must hold his head high for garnering so much momentum for Nebraska that Slate fears their revival. As we all do, Slate, as we all do.

Best Teams - I actually can't pinpoint a team that was far and away the best this year. There's Alabama, obviously, but given another whack at it, I bet Florida could put them away. Boise State did go undefeated and, might I add, beat the eventual Pac-1o champion in Week One. I would be remiss if I didn't consider the tremendous fortitude that Connecticut showed after the untimely and tragic death of their comrade. As always, Florida is my team and after their performance in the Sugar Bowl leads this writer to wonder, "What if...?". We saw how close Texas was to defeating Alabama without Colt McCoy, holding the "vaunted" Bama offense to just 116 yards in the second half. There were many deserving teams this year, and I opt not to pick one, but note that those teams, I feel, were noteworthy.

Best Foils - The Big Ten and Lane Kiffin (tie). I must admit, I had a great time picking on the Big Ten this year, and they actually did decently enough. Ohio State played Oregon extremely well (a game I was nearly positive Oregon would win) and Terrelle Pryor made some great progress this year. He needs to continue improving next year, but the fact that strides were made after the playbook was simplified shows that a) he's living up to some of the hype that he once had and b) that he's still a ways from being a really elite option. Take heart, Jeff the Commenter. Your team looks, on paper, like a real contender for the MNC of this upcoming season.

I also don't need to go into great detail about Kiffin because I hate wasting precious energy on that cretin, but he has made it fun, and occasionally tiring, to hate Tennessee. His assistants are already bolting on him (in particular, Eddie Gran--though now at FSU--will probably follow Tuberville to TTech and Petey Pie Carroll will probably poach Coach O and his Hummer). It will be fun to have some great meaning again behind beatdowns of the ones donning the Prison Work Release Orange.

Most Entertaining Non-Bowl Games - Boise/Oregon (Wk 1), Alabama/TN (Week 8), Iowa's Comeback Kid Victories (lots of Weeks), Stanford/Oregon (Week 10), LSU/Mississippi (Week 12), The Iron Bowl (Week 13), Big XII Championship

Most Entertaining Bowl Game - Roady's Humanitarian (Bowling Green/Idaho---seriously!) Favorite moment was when Idaho coach Robb Akey (an Iroquois favorite) told people to tune into the second half while staring into the camera with his Stan Van Gundy-esque raspy voice. If anyone has that video, I'd like to see it. Classic. While FreshSportsDaily seems to think the media is pressing for a feel-good story so they jump on the Akey bandwagon, as a non-media member, I can tell you as just an average football fan, I enjoy the hell out of Robb Akey and would not be surprised to see this guy getting looks for a higher profile gig in a couple of years.

Best Demise - Southern California. The spectre of Reggie Bush, O.J. Mayo, and one of the shadiest ADs in college football may decimate that program if the NCAA has its way. Wait, what am I saying? SoCal is a golden calf. It probably won't get sacrificed, but it is difficult to say that nothing will happen to them, especially given that the Reggie Bush trial for breach of contract to his agent is moving forward. Pete Carroll leaving would have to be crushing news, I think. If Carroll gets called as a witness in this trial and knows anything at all about Bush's sweetened pots, he no longer has to defend his employer, given that he and AD Mike Garrett are not on the best of terms. Reports say that Pete, much like former Men's BB HC Tim Floyd, felt abandoned by Garrett when times got tough. Jim Alexander chimes in with similar sentiment.

I think that will do, for now. If I think of any miscellany that I want added in, I will throw it in with the second part.

Why the BCS Game Will Stand For "Bama Championship Smackdown"

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Considering the success of the previous point/counterpoint on the Florida Marlins, we have decided to bring back more intelligent bickering amongst friends. As regular readers will note, this blog is heavily centered on college football and with the pendency of the BCS National Title Game, it is time for us to celebrate and subsequently mourn the end of another season.

This debate is going to be straightforward: who would win in a fight between an elephant and a longhorned steer? The flagship universities of the state of Alabama and the Republic of Texas, respectively, will decide this soon in an orderly fashion governed by a shifting momentum and interpretation of rules. I have been tasked with championing the Crimson Tide, a task consistent with my prediction of the game.

Reason #1 - Bama's O

Alabama found the magic formula for their offense in the SEC Championship game. A heavy dose of the running game, anchored by H---man winner Mark Ingram and freshman Trent Richardson (who may be better than Ingram when it's all said and done), combined with QB Greg McElroy's new-found ability to connect with Julio Jones. But I think the real key for Bama will be the fact that the #2 receiver for Bama (Marquis Maze) is more consistent than any of Texas's #2 receivers (e.g. Malcolm Williams). Something that got exploited against Florida and proved very effective throughout the year is lining up Maze and Jones for a high-low pattern, which will take star S Earl Monroe out of the picture. If Monroe elects to cover TE Colin Peek instead, this will probably leave single coverage on either of the capable Bama receivers, lest we forget Ingram's ability to catch passes in the flat. With the quick out to Peek and/or Ingram, this will serve to offset DE/OLB Sergio Kindle's swath of destruction.

Admittedly, this is a harder argument to make because Texas has an outstanding defense, headed by Iroquois favorite Will Muschamp. But, I'm on Bama's side here.

Reason #2 - Texas's Offense

Texas's offense is mostly propped up by playing against teams with very little defense. Outside of Nebraska and Oklahoma, the next highest rated team in terms of total defense that Texas bested was Oklahoma State, at around 34. After that, the dropoff is something ridiculous down to Louisiana-Monroe, UCF, and Texas Tech, who are all in a row. In the games where Texas played the top defenses, Texas mustered around 270 and barely over 200 yards, respectively, and one of those games they actually won (they did not beat Nebraska without making up a rule about the clock runoff, not to mention reviewing a non-reviewable play).

Further belaboring how good defenses can shut down Texas is the fact Rolando McClain will be available for the game. McClain is an outstanding spy MLB who has enough lateral quickness to contain mobile QBs, as evidenced by his ability to contain Tim Tebow and Tyrod Taylor. Then again, it may have something to do with the alliterative effect of dual Ts. Given the problems that Texas had containing Ndamukong Suh (the definite #1 pick), it could be assumed that, even if they are different kinds of DTs, Terrence "Mount" Cody could cause similar sorts of disruptions for Texas' interior line. Combined with the marquee matchup of Jordan Shipley versus Javier Arenas and we could see Texas's two playmakers held in check. If McCoy can't be mobile or throw the ball to his only consistent target, they'll be forced to run, which they aren't able to do so well.

Reason #3 - Coaching

Nick Saban may be a bastard but he is a master gameplanner. You don't think Saban was studying that Nebraska tape for days at a time, possibly neglecting friends and family during the holiday season? He probably kicked his wife out of the house while playing pocket hockey and viewing Nebraska's 3 man rush getting by Texas's O-Line. Nick Saban just doesn't lose when he has ample time to prepare. He walloped Florida so bad because he probably spent the last year preparing for the game. As if his own hardassness doesn't cause him to prepare for the game, there are several thousand Bama fans with his address and lots of disposable alcohol and firearms and an ill temper when their beloved Tide doesn't win.

To be fair, even if Saban wins, Bear Bryant is gonna get the credit. I wouldn't want to win someone else's championship, either.

In short, Bama will trounce Texas because Bama has figured out how they need to play to beat anyone with their impressive win against Florida, Texas cannot manage to start their offense against a good defense, and Mack Brown only won a championship because Vince Young was...Vince Young. Colt McCoy will leave Texas being closer to Chris Simms than Vince Young, a great but not heroic figure in Texas QB history.

Slate's defense of Texas starts tomorrow.

The Joy of Rematches

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Football (and maybe hockey--I don't really watch it) is funny in that it lends itself to repeating games in consecutive weeks. Yes, I know basketball sometimes finds itself playing the same teams home and away in very short order, but those are regular season games. Of note: we have four rematches this week, so to speak. In the Fiesta Bowl, Boise State and TCU match wits for the second consecutive year, and NFL-wise, we have the NYJets/Cincy, Packers/Buzzsaw That Is the Arizona Cardinals, and Philly/Dallas playing the exact same teams we saw them play not 24 hours ago.

The Fiesta Bowl is easier to explain. The Powers That Be selected those two teams to play in order to throw them a bone in the BCS bowls. If you're a conspiracy nutter, or even a fan with a couple of working neurons, you'll realize that this was done intentionally, probably to keep a strong TCU team from besting an auto-bid conference team, including both members of the Orange Bowl (especially Iowa), and Cincinnati. TCU and Boise might have given a good run to both Florida and Ohio State as well, not to mention that Boise already defeated Oregon, albeit a different Oregon team than what was shown in that game. My overarching question, though, is why they were paired again. We all know the BCS is a lightning rod for controversy, so pairing up two undefeated teams outside of the mythical national championship game ensures that at least two teams (had Cincy won, it could have been three) will remain undefeated at year's end. Not exactly the best way to give your system legitimacy in the public eye when the possibility of multiple undefeated teams isn't foreclosed.

As for the NFL, their rematches likely just have more to do with coincidence than anything. In a format where there are only six teams per conference and two of those teams that do not play in the wild card weekend, there is bound to be overlap. The more interesting thing is how the defeated teams will rise to the occasion given their "second chance" (or in PHI/DAL, third chance). Cincy and Arizona really laid down this previous week in an effort to rest their starters. Cincy appears to be in trouble, even if they really weren't trying this week. Rex Ryan should be pretty familiar with Marvin Lewis' game planning, as both served on the staff of the Ravens for a time. The football world is also well aware of the new buzz term circling the media--the Revis effect--and it seems a foregone conclusion that he will still be able to hold the Cincy passing game in check. I also agree with the topic of that link; Revis should really be the DPoY.

Dallas should have an easy enough time with Philly and it appears this will be the year they get out of the first round for the first time in more than a decade. Of course, that's what we said last year also. At least Tony Romo doesn't have the distraction of which of his blonde paramours will be showing up at the game. Miles Austin has been a revelation for this ballclub and it is really hard not to be optimistic about what the future will hold for the Cowboys.

As for Arizona, it's tough to tell what will go down there. The Pack seem to be peaking similar to the Cowboys and the three big injuries suffered by Arizona (Boldin, Campbell, and Rodgers-Cromartie) are keys to their successes since Warner will need all the help he can get, particularly on the side of the ball he doesn't play on. Without a pass rusher (Campbell) or a emerging, if not already good, CB (R-C), the Cardinals could be, in a word, effed. Still, hard to make judgments based on teams who had nothing to play for in Week 17 finding something to play for the next week against the same team.

Why there are so many rematches during this particular seven-day period is unknown. But, if you're expecting a rerun of the games you saw last year or yesterday, I've got news for you, friend: these episodes, while rehashed a bit, are all new.

Your Weekly College Bowl Game Picks for the Week of 12-21-2009

Considering that not all of the bowls take place on a weekend, we have modified the traditional "Your Weekend CFB Picks for xx/yy/zzzz". Instead, we at PLS will post our wildly popular picks column every Monday. Because this is the start of the Bowl series, there are quite a few games this week. Mind your P's and Q's and dive on in, because this is gonna be a long one.

Tuesday:

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl - Oregon State v. BYU

Iroquois:
A surprisingly good bowl for Las Vegas. While BYU is here for the 4th year in a row, Oregon State might have to be a little disappointed with ending up here. I'm not really confident that BYU is going to be excited to be here; familiarity breeds contempt. Oregon State has a dynamic RB in Quizz Rogers. Seriously, do yourself a favor and watch him. If you're a big fan of little RBs (like I am), you'll be looking forward to watching him for the next two years.

By the way, how does MAACO get a bowl? They're like the Ol' Roy of auto repair. Budget-class. Chock full of complaints. Were I Las Vegas, I would not want to be associated with such a shoddy act. I guess when Comcast and FedEx are your clients, you can pay any unseasonable amount to get lucky with a good bowl game every now and again.

Oregon State over BYU.

Slate:
What's the difference between going to your first Rose Bowl in several decades and going to a pointless bowl against a team that is in a bowl in a city that juxtaposes with the school's austere religious philosophy for the 4th year in a row? 4 points. Oregon State wanted a Rose Bowl bid, but couldn't get it done. BYU wanted more as well. The Cougars opened the season slaying Oklahoma and ruining Sam Bradford's party run through to the championship run. But a few loses down the road ended that. The Beavers offense will do well against BYU's defense which was proven to be slightly "holey." ZING!

Iroquois asks why MAACO is sponsoring this bowl, yet I ask "why not." MAACO has everything Las Vegas is about. Covering up a busted and ugly underside that may not be entirely legal (at least in terms of street legal) is what MAACO does. And Las Vegas? All it happens to be is one paint job/neon light glitz job from being exactly what it is: America's red light district.

Beavers over Mormons

Wednesday

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - Utah v. Cal

Iroquois:
My God. There really are no words for this sponsor. Scholars have long debated what the meaning of San Diego means, but it probably is German for "whale's vagina". If you don't know where that is from at this point, just stop reading and never come back. Speaking of people who haven't seen Anchorman, check out this Yahoo answers page. The Internet is great.

As for the actual game, it's probably too close to call. Cal's favored by 3,5 but really, the measureables of this game are just too close to call. There's 0.5 turnovers separating the two teams and no superstar that's going to sway the game, as if Jahvid Best were still there. The X-factor will probably be Shane Vereen, a fine RB in his own right.

Cal over Utah.

Slate:
Utah never gained much traction this year, and seeing as how Cal fizzled against the big fish in the Pac10 pond, neither did they. In fact for Cal it was a normal year. Lose to the big ones, lose to one smaller one and beat all of the little kids on the block. Losing hyperback Jahvid Best was tough, but the offense never had a passing game all year. Both are reasonable teams and it'll be close, but I find Utah walking away.

Sponsor-wise, this is an egregious foul on the bowl circuit. There is no national brand, just locality and it's a credit union. Not a bank. Not a firm or a group, but a credit union... the bank version of a collective farm in Soviet Russia. If you get a loan from there, everyone owns your car!

Utah over Cal

Thursday

Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl - Nevada v. SMU

Iroquois:
This will actually be a fun game, I think. You've got the offense with the most yards gained per possession (Nevada) plus the uniqueness of the pistol formation on one side. Opposite, you have about as spread-y an offense as you can get, one which simultaneously requires both running and shooting. It does have a history of giving QBs the opportunity to put up crazy numbers. I had always wondered what happened to that guy after college. Better than delivering pizzas, I guess, though probably less tasty in the long run. Also, it never really occurred to me to give JJ any sort of advantage because he was returning to Hawai'i until I was writing this blurb. Strange how things hit you that way.

A serious note for a moment: while many Gator fans might have beef with June because of his controversial comments on Tebow's system, there was a recent blog entry on the NYT's Quad Blog highlights one of those fascinating stories you might never know about unless someone does a little bit of legwork, wherein Jones fulfills a promise to one of his recently departed assistant coaches. I don't want to take the hits away from their article, so that's as far as I'll go, but it really is a touching, if brief, read. Here's the link to that article.

Nevada over SMU.

Slate:
Thursday's forecast in Honolulu, Hawai'i calls for a high of 80, low of 67 and a 100% chance of NUTTYNESS!!!! June Jones returns to the land of spam, Polynesians and a people that swear to God that Hawaii is so different from America that it should be its own country(!). Those are the same people who don't understand the crushing economic woes and diplomatic issues that would arise immediately. Idiots. Anyway, SMU's offense is batty and nutzo with all of its passing. This is juxtaposed with Nevada's run heavy pistol offense which batty and nutzo on its own. In the end, I think SMU comes out alive because Nevada's pass defense is pitiful.

By the way, Sheraton is not a bad sponsor. Nice hotels, nice locales, nice staff. All said, this bowl deserves a high five for location and sponsor. However, two reasonable climate teams are there. No, Reno is not the best weather destination in December, but I'm willing to bet that Idaho's fanbase in Moscow, Idaho would much rather be in Honolulu than Dallas-ites.

SMU over Nevada (caps for extra emphasis)

Saturday

Little Caesar's Bowl - Marshall v. Ohio

Iroquois:
I love how writing lends itself to segways sometimes. I go from talking about delivering pizzas to bowl games sponsored by pizza (and we're not done yet!) I really don't know anything about either of these teams, other than their location in the upper Rust Belt of the United States, and I'm not even sure that's right. Unlike Slate, I might be best described as 'geographically challenged'. I couldn't navigate my way out of a paper bag. I also do know that former UF DBs coach John Holliday was hired as Marshall's HC, causing a minor controversy because Holliday has deep roots to Marshall's rival West Virginia.

Having exhausted my actual knowledge of either of these teams, I now briefly turn to why Lil Caesar's pizza is better than Papa John's. Don't get me wrong, I think PJ's pizza is alright. There's something about the LC's pizza, though, that's endearing. Is it the crust? Is it the square shape? Is it the fact that it's like Hungry Howie's pizza done correctly? I don't know, but it's damn good.

I can't believe I'm onto a third paragraph, none of which have really anything to do with the game at hand, but you can definitely tell the Wikipedia article for Lil Caesar's was written by a Canadian or someone not American. I present Exhibit A (and really my only piece of evidence, other than LC being big in Canada):

A new location was also scheduled to open in the Pittsburgh suburb of Whitehall on 29 September 2009.

29 Sep 2009? Really?

Marshall over Ohio.

Slate:
Quick commentary on the plight of Detroit:
Unlike what you may think or have heard, no you will not a Kevlar vest if you are venturing to Adams St. and Montcalm in downtown Detroit. This is because crime in Detroit is no longer the issue. Why? This is because there is nobody in Detroit anymore! There is no one to rob you. There is no one to mug you. Detroit no longer has a supermarket in its boundaries. There is just no one there to create the crimes. And as such, there is no taxbase and thus no way out of this crushingly brutal depression.

That said, Marshall and Ohio will draw 11 people to the stadium. Ohio has an athletic QB and Marshall has 11 players on the field at all time during the game as per the rules of Football (I don't feel like researching this bowl one bit). In a coin flip, I go with Ohio.

As for Little Caesars being the sponsor, this is just embarrassing. Seriously. No more words are necessary.

Ohio over Marshall

Meineke Car Care Bowl - North Carolina v. Pittsburgh

Iroquois:
Now we turn to the silver medal of the car service companies bowl (long live the AutoZone Liberty Bowl!) I personally have never visited a Meineke, even though there are literally a dozen within a small radius from where I hail.

This game has to be considered a disappointment from both sides. UNC HC Butch Davis, who captained the 2001 Miami squad, has to be a decent coach still. He's been getting some talent into UNC (note the recent success of Hakeem Nicks) as well as Marvin Austin, who will be one of many DTs in this surprisingly deep class of DTs. We also have one of the all-name team guys in Quantavius Sturdivant. Your author learned of Mr. Sturdivant when he tried to commit to UF but Urban wasn't quite on board with it. Safe to say, I think Urban might take a do-over on that one given the chance.

Then we get to the Wannstache, who was previously on course for a BCS bowl (maybe) until they ran into the burning couch that is the West Virginia Mountaineers (again, more segwaying). I've extolled the virtues of the Wannstache's squad before on this site and I refuse to back down from them now. In fact, I appear to be fairly confident they will win, not that I've been really good at picking winners this year.

Wannstache over Quantavius.

Slate:
It was fun for the Wannstache for the time, but a missed extra point torpedoed that. I'm sure somehow there is a way to blame the Wannstache for that. Anyway, Iroquois was right in saying Pitt was an OK team this year. And they will roll in this game over a dull North Carolina team.

Meineke should be made fun of, but do you want George Foreman up your ass if you make fun of them? I sure as hell don't. He may be older than 60 but he could still ruin you day without much effort.

Pitt over UNC

Emerald (Nuts) Bowl - Southern California v. Boston College

Iroquois:
Not exactly what you had in mind to start the year, is it Pete? This is as big a shock to this observer as it is to you, I'm certain. Also, not to jump on a moral high horse, but is this really the best cover story that Mr. McKnight's benefactor can concoct? If it's true, then my apologies. Amazing coincidences have their way of sounding like total horsecrap.

USC over BC.

Slate:
Let's just pause for a few lines to soak in how much fun it is to see USC fall this far.






Thanks.

USC, if they show up, will destroy a dull and sleepy Boston College team handily. If they don't show up, they will destroy a dull and sleep Boston College team.

Emerald nuts is a good sponsor though. They have funny commercials and their product is not bad. Kudos to all involved.

USC over BC

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl - Kentucky v. Clemson

Iroquois:
There's really no reason Clemson shouldn't win this bowl. They have the superior offensive talent (CJ Spiller, Jacoby Ford) to outgun Kentucky. Trevard Lindley, an excellent CB, can only do so much to neutralize either guy (not sure why he'd be covering Spiller), but Ford is the kind of receiver that can give Lindley problems (super fast both coming off routes and in the open field). Combined with Kentucky's not-so-potent offense against Da'Quan Bowers and Ricky Sapp...just not looking like Kentucky's day.

I'm less convinced, however, that Clemson will want to show up. They should be in the Konica Minolta Gator Bowl, were it not for some shady dealing with the Seminoles and the fact that the Gator Bowl is dropping the ACC as a tie-in next year. I like Kentucky for an upset wherein a disinterested CJ Spiller does not show up for this game, which has to grind the Sons of Clem's gears.

Kentucky over Clemson.

Slate:
We finally reach the end of this weeks entry will a game of little importance or draw. Clemson has CJ Spiller, Kentucky has Trevard Lindley. No offense to Mr. Lindley, but I give the advantage to Spiller. It is true, however, that Clemson has little else outside of Spiller, so maybe an injury or a meteor hitting him could turn the tables for Kentucky, but that is probably a 20% chance even during a meteor storm.

Clemson over Kentucky

Putting Currency Where The Piehole Is: My Bowl Picks Put in Public(k)

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Let's see how much fun it is to have bowl picks proudly displayed like a badge of honor. I'm not too afraid to make a wrong pick and I think it would be fun to have it on display. I'll go in-depth on my picks a bit later, but I wanted to get them up and in the open for our savagely loyal readers to digest like a Thankstaking meal.

Here are the picks (and you can track them on ESPN, I think). Let's see how I do. I'm nearly positive you can only view them after tomorrow, once the games start up.

Charlie Weis Allegedly Out in South Bend

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Cheeseburger Chuck is no longer the Burger King in South Bend, reports say. After leaving a storied Patriots championship run, as soon as the opportunity to lead his alma mater to glory, Weis took a Johnny Rocket out of town and left for the greener pastures of Indiana. Despite putting forth their best efforts, the late Rally's this year just weren't enough to save Big Boy's job. The meeting has yet to take place formally, but many expect the meeting to move at a Sonic speed. Weis will likely be In-n-Out of the office only long enough to grab his belongings.

AD Jack Swarbrick released an unofficial statement about the firing, stating, "Wendy's coaches, dey be comin' in and promising great things but only producing Checkered results, that's Hardee the image we are tryin' to project. Mr. Weis' record was the worst of the last Five Guys to coach here. At Notre Dame we don't ask for much. We just want a guy to walk into our White Castle and return us to prominence with the capture of the Krystal trophy."

Swarbrick also included a quip how Weis's replacement would tend closer to the Irish part of their team. A man named McDonald has been mentioned as a leading candidate.


Also, as a programming note, I will be taking an 11 day hiatus from the site to focus on my finals. See you folks again on the 10th of December.

Quick Hitter CFB Rivalry Weekend Picks

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Really quickly, I'll hammer out some CFB predictions for the weekend.

(3) Texas over A&M - not surprising, nor should it be. Texas has pretty much punched its ticket for the Mythical National Championship game.

(9) Pitt over WV and (5) Cincy over Zook - setting up the de facto Big East championship. Neither team should be looking ahead because these are two teams that like to spring upsets when discounted from the game.

Auburn over (2) Bama - Perhaps just wishful thinking, but this is the game I've been thinking all year will catch Bama. The Barners are coming off of a bye and would love nothing more than to spring the upset.

(7) Ramblin' Wreck over UGA

(12) Okie Doke State over Oklahoma

SCAR over (18) Taters

UCLA over (20) USC

(21) Da Utes over (19) BYU

(25) Miss over MSU

(1) Florida over FSU - Like Kirk Herbstreit, I won't comment on games that I'm attending. If FSU wants to win the game, though, they will need to have a strong game by E.J. Manuel in the passing department.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, folks.

Some Unsolicited Advice from Me to Bill Martin (or His Successor)

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Well, I wish I could keep it a secret, but I'm afraid the metaphorical jungle cat is out of the bag. To whom the post is entitled: heed my advice. Take it down on some paper, print out this article, carve it in hieroglyphics, whatever. Record it in some form. Not only record it, but heed it. Pay attention to what is on the screen. Are you ready? Good.

Les Miles cannot coach. There, it's in the open.

In case you haven't seen it today, Less Wiles once again demonstrated his artful clock management with a 17 second burn in the 4th quarter. A little while ago, while Miles was winning the National Championship in 2007, everyone in Baton Rouge was willing to overlook his considerable list of boneheaded plays, citing that Miles was just a "risk taker" with "brass balls". Not all of his bad decisions resulted in losses, though, which is why he looked like a genius.

It's pretty easy to posit that the only reason that LSU won the 2007 BCS title was in spite, and not because, of The Hat. Nick Saban was (still is) a fantastic recruiter. Most of the key players on the LSU title team were Saban recruits: QB Matt Flynn, RB Jacob Hester, WR Early Doucet, DT Glenn Dorsey, LB Ali Highsmith, K Colt David. Miles also comes from a fertile recruiting area; he simply has to have a pulse and can pull the top Deep South talent and siphon some from TX and FL as well. Even his fanbase/radio announcers are turning on him, and when you lose your PBP guys, you know you've messed up.

Further, Miles was aided by an able staff of assistants. Jimbo Fisher, while not great, was at least adequate. Bo Pelini has proven to be a good and improving coach in Nebraska. He's made some (in my opinion) great hires in Gary Crowton and John Chavis. So, you really can't blame the underlings.

So AD Bill Martin (or whoever you hire to replace him, maybe this guy): If you want balls of steel, brains of mush, go ahead and hire Les Miles. He's probably lost his fan base and, from the disgruntled look of the normally cool Jordan Jefferson, perhaps his team too. If he isn't outright fired, I'm sure LSU fans will be more than willing to pay for his bus fare to any interview that he is granted/wants to take.

It's a shame, too. I really liked having it be a secret that Miles isn't a great coach.

Your Weekend CFB Picks for 11-20-2009

Note: Nothing in this article represents a gambling endorsement or even generally good advice.

So, it seems like Slate got caught in the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. I'm sure he'll add his picks later. The crop of games, even for some rivalry weeks is generally poor, so here goes.

(10) LSU @ Ole Miss

Slate

As one can expect with Houston Nutt, this game is shaping up to be an upset special. However, like it was with Mr. Invisible from "Mystery Men" who can only be invisible when no one looks, Houston Nutt can only pull an upset off if he no one expects him to.

Bayou Bengals over the South (who shall rise again)

Iroquois

Last year, Ole Miss finally beat LSU after a long string of losses. I don't expect that to change this year, especially if the Ole Miss offense clicked like they did last week. I tell ya, that Dexter McCluster is just a Grand Wizard with the football in his hands. Ole Miss has a Klandestinely good defense, as well. Jerrell Powe is proving why he was worth the 3.5 year wait. As the talented Sir Elton John might have once said, Saturday afternoon will be All White for Ole Miss.

Johnny Rebs over Corndoggers. (There! Now it's been codified in the Wall Street Journal!)

Annie

Tiggers.

Red

Can the fighting Shepard Smiths beat the giant corn dogs? Probably not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a good old hate filled beat down between two schools that just don’t like each other.

Prediction: LSU over Ole Miss after Ole Miss is forced to forfeit the game for singing the From Dixie With Love and adding their favorite verse. LSU still sucks, but not as much as Ole Miss.

(13) Penn State @ Michigan State

Iroquois

Penn State will not win this game. I know that they need a win to share the Big 10 title (potentially) and an at-large BCS bid, so they've got the requisite pressure on them to make sure they stay sharp. State College, PA has also been better on the road this year (their two losses came at home). But the Spartan's offense should be able to move the ball on the PSU defense and MSU has won 4 out of the last 6 home games in this rivalry. The spread in the game (PSU -3) also indicates the linesetters think something is amiss as well.

Sparty over Paterny.

Annie

Though I hail from MSU, the Spartys have their bowl game, so they won't pull this one out

Slate

Logic = thrown out the window on I-75 at 80 mph. We won't be able to find it in this pick. All suggestions point to a Sparty obliteration party, yet this team has been harder to peg than Sarah Palin's thought process. I would like to see a Spartan uprising, but instead I see a Nittany Lion victory.

PSU over MSU

Red

BRAINS!!! BRAINS!!! And delusional Michigan fan BRAINS!!! Penn State has been BRAINS this year and everyone knows it, their BRAINS of beating Sparty are still pretty good though. Just imagine how much BRAINS!!! are inside of old Sparty and you realize that this isn’t just a football game, this is a buffet for JoePa! I’m assuming that quantity beats out quality when a zombie selects their prey, otherwise look out for PSU to start scheduling Ivy league teams. The band is on the field!

Prediction: PSU over MSU and Bobby Bowden continues to hope that the secret government plan to exterminate JoePa before the infection spreads.

Cal @ (14) Stanford

Iroquois

This is a Big Game. I was on the Stanford bandwagon last week, and now seems like a poor time to get off of it. Flying high off of two straight Top 10 victories, facing a Cal team really lacking in identity since Jahvid Best took a lickin', and riding the dark horse candidacy of Toby Gerhart for the H---man trophy, the Cardinal will let their Mike Alstott clone and frosh super-prospect Andrew Luck carry this team as far as they'll go. Jim Harbaugh seems destined for big things as a coach.

Trees over Bears.

Annie

Stanford takes another team out

Slate

Stanford is rolling. They have embarrassed two top 10 teams in succession. It wouldn't surprise me if they took this week off with the assumption that Cal is dead in the water without Hyperback jahvid Best, who is recovering from "Sudden Death Syndrome." If so, knowing that Cal's defense is not to be trifled, Stanford had better not sleep through this one. We are finally giving praise, this is not the time to dilly-dally.

Trees over the Bears

Red

Don’t look now but Stanford has been playing some really good football as of late. HEY! I told you not to look. I could make a concussion joke, or a whinny hippy douche joke but instead I’ll simply point out that no matter what the outcome of this game the Stanford students are still the winners. In fact I hear that Penn State is doing everything they can to schedule as many games against Stanford as they can in the near future, something about BRAINS!!! And you simply cannot mention this game without linking this clip.

Prediction: Stanford over Cal, which a few years ago would have been a big enough joke to not require any commentary.

FIU @ (1) UF

Ed. Note: We realize this is a pretty obvious pick. So, instead, we are picking the game and saying what would happen if FIU won.

Iroquois

Seriously, if Florida lost this game, I might just jump in front of an Amtrak train. It would be less painful than having to deal with the ribbing that would come from every fanbase. In fact, I dare say that if Florida lost, Tim Tebow would immediately transform into the White Rider and ascend to Heaven, War and Famine would get Biblical on the world, and the Pale Rider would finally descend and just end humanity's miserable lot. Of course, this all depends on your interpretation of the White Rider and whether or not he's actually a representation of the Antichrist or Christ himself, but that's a discussion best left to our sister blog, EucharistSports.

UF over FIU.

Post-Picks Soapbox

I do not wish to find myself remiss in mentioning that Ohio State plays Michigan this weekend, and I think it will actually be a pretty entertaining game. The game is being played in the Big House and all signs point to OSU leaving with a victory. That being said, it is a big rivalry game and would definitely make the Michigan fan's awful year exponentially better if they were to deny their hated rivals the Big Ten title (...I think). Most experts have this game as an OSU win by a TD. I'll go the other way and pick Michigan by a marginal amount.

Michigan over OSU.

One last thing. I haven't shaved my facial hair in nearly 3 weeks as a part of my No Shave November program for studying. Number one, it already is patchy enough as it is, but man is this stuff irritating. To those who regularly maintain some form of beard, public service mustache, or any other intricate design, you have my respect.

Annie

If FIU wins, start shining the Super Bowl trophy for the Lions.

Slate

Brother Quicksilver went to FIU for a year. He left to go to a community college when he realized how poorly organized the school was. Even though that has nothing to do with anything, that being said, FIU's football team is terrible. They are better than they used to be, but that is akin to basketball analysts calling the Clippers better because they won 30 games instead of 20. FIU's angle, almost certainly, is to play the disrespect card. But to get play that card, you must first have a reason to have any respect at all and no, this does not count. If UF were to lose, I would be willing to give up meat for 1 year. Meat is 97% of my diet... losing it would be detrimental to my health and well-being... so I feel this would be fair. If FIU wins, I will become a vegetarian for 1 year and incur all liberal hippie douche penalty points that would be levied upon me.

UF over FIU... Tebow out in the 3rd quarter

Red

I’m going to have to go with the Gators for this one, by I don’t know, a brazillian. So the editorial staff (read: unimaginative assholes that run this blog) want me to tell you readers what I would do if the Gators lost this game. So I can say without hyperbole or exaggeration that if UF lost this game I would do the sickest, most depraved and disgusting thing I can think of (and that we can post on this website without putting up a warning no children under 18 sign). I would get a tattoo of the FIU panther on my forehead, making it look as if the Panther’s nads are in fact giving me a tea bag and then buy season tickets to FIU where I would chant “Balls out for FIU!” over and over and over. Luckily FIU has a better chance of finding a cure for AIDS on their bus ride up to Gainesville then beating UF in a football game so I won’t have to get a tattoo of the FIU panther on my head.

Prediction: UF over FIU and we don’t see Tebow in the fourth quarter.

Your Weekend Picks 11/6/09

by Staff

A few games of large importance amongst a sea of "meh"s. We barely found four worth our acknowledgment.

(15) Ohio State @ (11) Penn State
Annie:
Nittany Lions over the F...Buckeyes

PSU over OSU

Iroquois:
Ohio State's biggest strength (their running game) may in fact be neutralized this weekend. Penn State (aka Linebacker U) has another good one in Sean Lee, who has been coming on strong of late. Ohio State's below average OL may also be attacked relentlessly by an improving PSU D-Line, led by their DT Odrick. However, the exact same thing might be said of State College, PA. One of your author's favorite recruits/players, Cam Heyward, is an absolute MONSTER for Ohio State. Together with the interior of the field, especially the OSU MLB, running for Evan Royster might be tough sledding this week. I'd go so far as to say the concerns on offense even mirror the strengths on defense for both teams.

Come to think of it, these teams aren't that much different on offense, either. I'd give the nod to Daryll Clark over Terrelle Pryor at this point as far as QBs go, but Pryor is the better runner (reminiscient of Daunte Culpepper circa UCF) and Boom Herron isn't too shabby either. I don't think I need to go into great detail about Evan Royster, but PSU wins an awful lot of games when he goes well.

This has the classic "3 yards and a cloud of dust" written all over it, so the advantage, to me, will go to whoever develops the passing game better. Even with his performance last week against the robust New Mexico State D, I can't give the nod to Pryor just yet.

PSU over OSU

Slate:
Conventional logic says that Penn State should brutally crush the Buckeyes. Penn State's defense is one of the best in the country and Ohio State's offense is nowhere near where an elite team's offense should be. But, Ohio State isn't an elite team. Terrelle Pryor will have to run a mile this game and pass with at least some logic and intelligence to move the Buckeyes down the field.

Yet, I think Ohio State will win. Ohio State, like USC, will always get that ONE win. You know the ONE win. The one where we are about the write them off and then they shock a team they should have lost to. From there media runs with "They Were Never Really Gone" headlines. Ohio State should get beaten badly. 33-3 badly. Yet, I just know somewhere in me that somehow they pull this off. Like that one terrible human being person you know who always manages to completely avoid disaster by doing JUST ENOUGH, Ohio State will somehow survive this and their fans will continue to think that they are the #1 team in the country regardless of any obvious things suggesting the opposite.

Ohio State over Penn State

(9) LSU @ (3) Alabama
Annie:
Tigers quiet the Tide

LSU over the Tide

Iroquois:
Another game with some mirroring, but not quite to the same extent. Jordan Jefferson and Greg McElroy are both being treated like game managers rather than play-making QBs (see: extensive Wildcat use with Russell Sheppard and Mark Ingram, respecitvely). Alabama, though, has looked a lot worse ever since their strong start to the season, and this has a lot to do with McElroy. They s-t-ruggled to that victory over Tennessee. Speaking of ST, you gotta be feeling good if you're Bama, because the majority of your recent offense comes from super-K Leigh Tiffin, who has been as reliable as your favorite pair of jeans.

Alabama has the best players in all 3 of the games aspects (Ingram, McClain, Tiffin), so I like them for the win.

Alabam' over LSU

Slate:
LSU's defense is still a strong force not to be trifled with. Alabama's offense has been terrible save for Mark Ingram's decision to go into beast mode. The Greg McElroy experience at QB for the Tide has been akin to going from Nicholas Cage (Bad) to Keanu Reeves (terribly awful) for the lead in a drama movie. It's not like John Parker Wilson was excellent but he was never this bad and I'll wager a few people in Tuscaloosa wish there were those southern frat boy bangs sitting in that helmet under center.

LSU's offense hasn't been better, and Alabama's defense is a spinning death machine as well. Some are saying a defensive heavyweight championship belt defense fight in the 14-10 range... but I see a welterweight fight in a phone booth. I think with Alabama opening up the passing game and LSU remembering which endzone is the one they get points from in the past few weeks will lead to muchas puntas (points) and a great game. And I have LSU being the last one standing.

Bayou Bengals stop the Tide

(7) Oregon @ Stanford (note: Oregon is only -7)
Annie:
Ducks over "Ivy League"

Oregon over Stanford

Iroquois:

Nobody believes in the Ducks, huh? Or do that many people believe in Stanford? Perhaps the USC-crushing hangover lasts into this week, but I can't imagine the Ducks don't take some ibuprofen and snap out of it fairly quickly. For Stanford to have ANY chance in this game, Luck and Gerhart have to carry the offense, and pray to God that this is one of the weeks that Oregon falters like a used Chevy. For as beautiful and precise the Oregon spread attack (perhaps, if you will, the Flying V) can be, it is surely a temperamental mistress.

On another note, can Jeremiah Masoli keep up a dark-horse H---man candidacy? Time will tell.

Oregon over Stanford.

P.S. - Who does Tiger Woods root for in this game? He did go to Stanford, but I can't imagine Phil Knight would be too happy if Oregon lost. Nike, as we all know, sponsors TW's line of apparel and clubs.

Slate:
Jim Harbaugh has built up a nice team in Palo Alto. They have a good offense, a defense that would at least classify as "present" and a rejuventated fanbase. Props and kudos are certainly deserved for that, sir, but I would like to know why you are only 7 point underdogs to Oregon. Someone must know something that I don't. Oregon should pummel Stanford into submission and then run 50 on the scoreboard. Stanford's only prayer is keep the ball out of the hands of Jeremiah Masoli and the Oregon offense for... I dont know... 60 minutes. They are smart at Stanford, I'm sure they will cook something up. Even then, the Ducks will put up at least 40.

By halftime.

Quacks over Trees

Vandy @ (1) Florida
Annie:
Gators top Vandy

UF over Vandy

Iroquois:
No pass protection from Vandy is bad news bears for them. Jermaine Cunningham, Carlos Dunlap (a future top 5 pick), and Justin Trattou will cause QB Larry Smith to have nightmares. Florida's D won't miss a step without Brandon Spikes, being quite noble in choosing to sit out the entire game (still doesn't excuse his action against Ealey, though I would submit nothing actually happened that doesn't normally happen). Tim Tebow could use this game to pad some H---man stats, because he surely needs the help in getting the numbers back to a respectable position. Watch for Tebow, if he's going to make a charge, to do it in these last four weeks. Each D he faces is suspectible to the pass.

Florida over Vandy

(post pick soapbox for Iroquois:)
In addition, I want to continue to mention the Josh Nesbitt for H---man Dark House Candidacy Express. No, he isn't the best player on his team. He does, however, play the most important position and is putting up stellar numbers for a contending team.

Compare his numbers to those of Eric Crouch. (Full disclosure: Rex Grossman should have won that year. No doubt in my mind.) I know he's not a great example, but he did win the Heisman.

Crouch: 1,500 yards passing with 7 TD's and a 134 rating while rushing for 1,100 yards with 18 TD's.
Nesbitt (current): 1,172 yards passing with 6 TD's and a 158 rating while rushing for 763 yards with 13 TD's.
Nesbitt (projected): 1,563 yards passing with 8 TDs and a 158 rating while rushing for 1,018 yards with 18 TD's.

In a year with no runaway candidate, why not Nesbitt, especially if Ga Tech wins the ACC?

Slate:
If Florida actually did get the vertical element of the passing game back on track, then Vanderbilt better pray for a tornado. We have stated several times on this site that we were happy for the Commodores last year. The bowl game was nice. Gameday showing up in Nashville was nice. Memories are nice, aren't they Vanderbilt? Yes, they are. No get back to dropping your pants and underpants and get back in your regular position bent over a barrel. Much appreciated.

Gators sink the Commodores

(post pick soapbox for Slate):
There is a game this weekenmd that is off everyone's radar. Western Michigan @ Michigan State. Judging by recent events of absolutely terrible misforutne for the Spartans for the length of this year, I am picking the Broncos to beat the Spartys in East Lansing. It's not that I want MSU to lose (they would result in me sleeping on a couch), it's that Western has a potent MF'ing offense and they stole 3 recruits from the jaws of Randy Shannon at Miami 2 years ago and as a result have a strong defense. Sadly for MSU, they have played down to their competition all year and got burned 3 times (Central Michigan/Notre Dame/Minnesota). This is in addition to the capricious ways of losing they developed in 4 of their 5 losses (fluke onside kick/missing wide open WRs in the endzone/miserable play call on the last play of the game from their own 7/referees not knowing the rules of the game which they are officiating). I think they are a shell shocked team and will contend for the BigTen championship next year will a powerful offense and a vastly improved defense, but Western has a future first round QB (Tim Hiller) and a future first round WR (Ansel Ponder). Greg Jennings... the killer WR for the Packers?... he went to Western Michigan. So yes, Western Michigan (famous alumni: Tim Allen and Dave Dombrowski) will upset MSU this weekend.

One Loss Wonders

With the complete failure known as the BCS, only 2 team can play for the right to be the national champion. We already have several no-loss teams, but some of them are bound to lose (Florida/Bama, IOWA, Cincy...), so it is my task to handicap the teams with one loss already. Yes, personal vendettas and hatred will cloud my judgment, but remember that this is college football. No one has had a clear thought about it since 1877.

Georgia Tech:
The triple option continues to bulldoze all in their way in a most powerful and impressive fashion. Although Miami tripped them up, GT is in the driver's seat in the Coastal Division in the ACC. Their defense is stout and their schedule here on out is definitely a low calorie light beer style pilsner, so they will probably go to the ACC championship and defeat whoever they play from the terrible Atlantic Conference.

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 1 in 2

Houston:
The volatility index numbers on Houston are very high because when you are a small conference kingpin who came out of nowhere, you tend to lose games you really shouldn't lose. Remember East Carolina last year... they shocked Virginia Tech and West Virginia... but then they lost to Virginia and Southern Miss. Houston has a good offense and Case Keenum is this year's QB du Jour from a small conference, but will their defense hold? I vote no.

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 1 in 15

LSU:
Their offense looked good last week against Tulane, but remember, it was Tulane. The defense is good, but really we can't make any projections here until after they play Alabama this weekend. That game will sort out who will go to the SECCG barring a large meltdown somewhere.

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 1 in 9

Oregon:
The Ducks offense is ridiculous right now. We now know that Boise State just happened to catch them with the keys not in the ignition and a rematch would be a game of the year in the making. Oregon vivisected USC and has a free run at the Rose Bowl... a win against Arizona will clinch that. Of all the teams, they are the most likely to only have one loss.

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 7 in 10

Penn State:
Penn State, as usual, is rolling along like it's no one's business. Yet they have Ohio State and a volatile Michigan State team left on the slate. The offense has been OK, but the defense has been excellent, quietly giving up only 73 points in 9 games. But these last few games are tough sledding. Also, remember, they lost to Iowa... so they need a Corn loss to get to the Rose Bowl unless somehow Iowa goes undefeated and the voters feel they deserve a NC birth.

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 1 in 6

Pitt:
The Wannstache? Going 11-1 in the regular season? ROTFLMAOzorz!

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 1 in infinity

Utah:
They need to play TCU and they are the last hope to stop them and then they get to play BYU, who is pretty good. This is very tough sledding and more than likely it won't happen.

Chances of Almost Undefeated season: 1 in 45

Your Weekend Picks 10-17-09

by Staff

Good collection of games this weekend. The Red River Shootout (or whatever they call it these days), the annual Notre Dame beatdown by USC and the Ol' Ball Coach has a chance to sling a stone and take down a Goliath.

(3) Texas - (20) Oklahoma
Iroquois:
As much as I want to say this is open and shut, I can't. Can Texas run the ball? Can Sam Bradford exploit his RB's strength in pass catching in absence of a solid receiver? Did the entirety of talent on Mobilehoma's line leave after the BCS game? Will Texas be overconfident? Will Oklahoma relish an entire season predicated upon one upset of their Steers 'n Queers rival? How many questions can I type and still form a cogent paragraph? Will Colt McCoy press and end up costing himself a shot at the H---man trophy in one game a'la Peyton Manning 1997?

Texas over OU

Annie:
Longhorns in a shootout...wait, they have those in FOOTBALL NOW TOO!?!

Texas over OU

Slate:
Well I guess this isn't the Top 5 matchup we all were fully erect over back in August. This may or may not be one the last times the game is played in the Cotton Bowl due to Jerry Jones's football Xanadu being completely and almost fully operational. After 2015, it will probably be in the dome. We still could have the Sam Bradford-Colt McCoy offense supernova that will be seen from lightyears away, but remember that Bradford's shoulder isn't 100% yet. Oklahoma, already with 2 losses, is at a standing 8 count, so they will be a bit desperate. Texas can win this game and more than likely set a course for the BigXII championship and more than likely the national championship game. It is this one's belief that OU will certainly hold their own weight, but I think the Will Muschamp will blitz from every direction including from underground, the mascot dressing room and the 8th dimension and in the end... Texas will be the one still standing.

Texas over OU

Red:

The Red River Shootout, a title which I believe we are no longer allowed to use because the word red is considered racist. Or some other reason that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. So I guess I’m supposed to pick who will win the game and then give some type of insightful commentary. Well Red Herring does not roll that way, so instead of doing any insightful matchup comparisons of Offensive lines versus Defensive lines, or any other comparison, I’m simply going to pick a winner and say something mean about each team. This game is not even close. We have Texas, the only team outside of the SEC that is getting any respect whatsoever from the talking heads , and we have Oklahoma, which after losing to the BYU fighting white guys, and then Miami, has shown us that Big Game Bob only has his nickname because he plays in big games not wins them. Also one thing I’ve never understood, how the hell did the University of Texas end up with a cow as their mascot? Did they sleep in on the day mascots were being handed out? I know there is a story but I don’t care enough to look it up.

Prediction: Texas wins by as much as they want to.

(6) USC @ (25) Notre Dame

Slate:
Here comes the end of the line for the Notre Dame Hope Train. It ends, so does the Jimmy Clausen Heisman Conestoga Wagon, as a twisted and flaming wreck left to smolder in its own fire of unachieved expectations (that were unachievable in the first place) and will only be put out once Charlie Weis is fired. Front Butt has survived a good bit, but the hammer beings its fall after a blowout at the hands of a completely chillaxed Pete Carroll who is so cool, he will buy Front Butt a beer and a butter burger before he leaves town out his own cool guilt.

In 5 years Notre Dame will join the Big Ten and will be a powerhouse once again. This is the night it gets kicked off.

USC BIG over notre dame

Annie:
Trojans over the drunks

USC over ND

Iroquois:

Jimmy Clausen has no place among the H---man candidates right now. The mere fact that he's even being considered speaks to the volume of Notre Dame hype back when they were, you know, relevant. Try beating a team with a winning record first, son (note: Winning record is not a .500 record).

This game should once again go to the Men of Troy, CA. Notre Dame's O-Line, outside of Sam Young, tends to falter against strong pass rushes. Guess what USC has? I generally believe as well that Matt Barkley > Tate Forcier (right now), and I expect MB to give ND the same problems as TF did, though not necessarily in as dramatic a fashion.

USC over ND

Red:

In the fifth year of the Charlie Weis coaching regime, or internship depending on who you ask, we have to ponder, how long until Notre Dame backs a dump truck full of money up to Urban Meyer’s house? The answer: not that long. There has been a lot of buzz around the interweb about Notre Dame fan base feeling like they have a real chance in this game, and how Notre Dame players feel that they can beat USC. Well, no they won’t. Notre Dame will go down in flames in the first half and Pete Carroll will continue his ownership of Charlie Weis.

Prediction: USC over Notre Dame and the internship (hopefully for Florida’s sake) continues.

(4) Virginia Tech @ (19) Georgia Tech
Annie:
Hokies over the...Engineers?

VT over GT

Iroquois:
After last week's turnstile defense convention in Tallahassee, I don't think Georgia Tech has the ability or energy to play with VT this week. Tyrod Taylor, if he is progressing as much as he showed last week (one of those TD passes was gorgeous), will exploit the lack of a passing defense (seriously, GT? 359 passing yards to FSU?) and Ryan Williams will run through a tired GT defense, not that he isn't good in his own right.

VT over GT

Slate:
Virginia Tech shot down Miami and Miami sets GT on fire and pissed on the ashes, so by the transitive property of sports, Va Tech should rout the Jackets. But hold on, as EDSBS puts it perfectly, VT caught Miami in a Jacory Harris Flyness-Shortage. Miami now knows the cure. A JHFS is only cured by playing the theme from Shaft in a continuous loop until signs of flyness fire up. So perhaps, the transitive property of sports isn't correct here. We must then consider two things: GT's triple option can be particularly baffling even to "good" defenses and Tyrod taylor is still the QB for VT. Those things considered we roll with GT but it'll be close.

GT over VT

Red:

Virginia Tech has been playing out of their minds after the thumping that Alabama put on them to start the season. Georgia Tech has proven that a brazilliontuple option really will work in college ball. Against an FSU team that could best be described by their odor, Georgia Tech ran the ball at will. FSU knew that GT was going to run the ball and still couldn’t stop them. The Yellow Jacket offense was so dominant that they actually struck Bobby Bowden dumb. I, however, think that the Virginia Tech defense will be able to at least contain if not stop the GT offense. In the battle of the Techs I’m going to go with VT.

Prediction: VT wins a close game after they figure out they can put 11 men in the box and GT will still run.

(22) South Carolina @ (2) Alabama

Slate:

South Carolina's offense is a Steve Spurrier offense-like substance. Think of velveeta cheese. No, the Cock offense is not as good as velveeta is by any stretch of the imagination but remember, velveeta is "processed and blocked cheese." This is all and good, but Nick Saban's defense is so good it went back in time and halted the Huns at Budapest with Rolando McClain personally stopping Attila himself from crossing the Danube. It was a spectacular moment in time, but Nick Saban erased all knowledge of it from ever happening because he doesn't want teams to know his tactics (archers to the back left flank supported by corners in a soft zone). Alabama will probably hold the Cock offense to very few points.

'Bama over South Carolina

Annie:
Tide over Cocks

Bama over SCAR

Iroquois:
Again, I think Bama trips up at some point this year. This isn't that game, though. Jarvis Giles' suspension pretty much nails this one shut. Unless Alshon Jeffrey and Stephen Garcia rock worlds like last week, this one shouldn't be too much of a contest. I do wish to note, however, that this may be the week where we really see Greg McElroy fall apart and as such, Bama will treat him like LSU treats Jordan Jefferson: as a game manager more than a playmaker.

Bama over SCAR

Red:

Do you really want commentary here? The only question about this game is how many visors Steve Spurrier goes through before he says screw it and leaves early to beat the traffic. The fighting Sabans will have their way with the Gamecocks on both sides of the ball and the only thing that prevents this from being a blow out is if the bus carrying the Alabama team get lost on the way to the stadium. However I can’t pass up this opportunity to mention that there might be a special appearance by ALABAMA MAN!

Prediction: LSU Alabama helps convince the Ole Ball Coach that he needs to hang them up for good.


Arkansas @ (1) UF

Slate:
Florida gets to return home and see an Arkansas team whose offense's volatility rating is classified as: "Mixing Clorox with Drano." Sometimes it's great, other times it shows up at the wrong stadium. UF better not consider this a week off. Florida wins big, but only if their offense shakes the rust off.

UF over Arky

Iroquois:
I decline to analyze games in which I have a personal stake.

UF over Arky

Annie:
Too close to call...

UF over Arky

Red:

The Gators come off an exciting (painful to watch) victory against LSU in Red Pole and come home to face Arkansas. One thing is clear; Florida simply must drop a metric shitload of points on the Razorbacks in this game because UF is risking losing their number one ranking simply because Alabama keeps decapitating their opponents. Tebow needs to take care of business (and he will) and we see an explosion from the Florida offense against Arkansas’ defense that will just not be able to keep up with the speed UF brings to the table. But hey, you guys had Darren McFadden. That was pretty good back in the day.

Prediction: UF wins by a ton and then Tebow heals all of the injured players and feeds the masses with only one six pack of beer and three of those Red Baron “pizzas” they sell at the concession stands. Meyer moves one step closer to adding another ring to his iconic wardrobe.

Northwestern @ MSU

Iroquois:

Ummm, really?

MSU over NW

Slate:
MSU is rebounding, we expected that, and perhaps it continues this week against a not-as-good-as-last-year Northwestern team. Then again MSU, as a program, does have a propensity for losing games they should win. Some say it was the Michigan game, but I say this is the game that will make or break the season because they are still a good team. Winning here gets them above .500 (4-3) and 3-1 in conference. This still have Minnesota, Western Michigan and Purdue (all games they should win) with games at Iowa and at home against Penn State. An 8-5 could be seen as a success after how they started.

MSU over NW

Annie:
Spartys over the Journalists

MSU over NW

Red:

Ok, time to pretend I care about this game. Deep Breath. OKAY! What an exciting game with two teams that have so much to play for! Sparty looks to improve to 4-3 while Northwestern looks to stay above .500. Both teams still have a chance to compete for a conference title. (If Columbus burns down over the weekend). So based purely on which mascot is more likely to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life, I’m going to go with Michigan State over Northwestern.

Prediction: Sparty and his unblinking ways literally scares the Northwestern team into not even stepping onto the field. Or maybe Northwestern wins, who knows its Big Ten football!


(11) Iowa @ WisCANsin

Annie:
Corn over Cheese

Iowa over W

Slate:
WisCANsin should have beaten Ohio State, but a KO return for a TD and a Pick 6 doomed them. Honestly... when will someone finally just kill this overrated OSU team!? Iowa is undefeated, but hasn't looked spectacular in any particular game. Remember they had to block 2 FGs to beat D2 Northern Iowa? They almost coughed up a win last week, Arkansas State almost tripped them up and they barely outlasted Arizona. So let's not get the anointing oils just yet. I think I see an upset.

WisCANsin over Iowa

Iroquois:
I stumped against the Corn last week and will continue to do so until I'm finally proven right.

Wisky over Corn

Red:

Now this is an interesting game. Iowa has managed to be the quietest unbeaten major conference team all year and they are finally getting respect they apparently deserve. Wisconsin is more of a question mark. Will they be a ferocious badger running the ball down Iowa’s throat? Or will they hide in their hole as Iowa moves the ball downfield in a methodical manner? Based only on this video evidence of the Wisconsin football team practicing I’m going to go ahead and pick the upset!

Prediction: Wisconsin wins a close game against Iowa partly through skill, partly through hypnosis by pumping this into the visitor’s locker room.

Your Weekend CFB Picks 10-09-09

Note: Nothing in this article represents a gambling endorsement or even generally good advice.

Florida/Louisiana State

Slate:
Tim Tebow got injured... not sure if you heard that. As a result, the Gators will probably be forced to run. Last week, LSU smashed UGA's run game to pieces and although UF's running game is diametrically the opposite, you have to wonder if LSU can just plain stop the run.

Then again, let's look at a typical LSU fan's perspective... shall we? (taken from a message board on sportingnews.com) "URBAN MAYER HAS NEVER WON IN DEATH VALLEY AND TIM TEBOW HAS NEVER WON IN DATH VALLEY. THIS MEANS THEY WILL NEVER WIN! GEAUX TIGERS!!" Tough to argue against that bulletproof logic, but I think LSU's offense won't have much success against the Gator D. Also let's take this time to remember that although LSU as a program has earned the respect of many a UF fan, their non-school affiliated fans cross the line between human being and "sub-human."

UF over LSU

Annie
Florida for obvious reasons.

UF over LSU

Iroquois:

I decline to analyze games in which I have a personal stake.

UF over LSU.

Alabama/Ole Miss

Slate:
Easy pick here. Houston Nutt is coaching an overmatched team against a juggernaut rolling on a railroad track whose only stop is at the SEC championship game. Haven't we seen this movie before? Upset special time, friends.

Ole Miss over Bama

Annie:
Bama for no apparent reason

Bama over Ole Miss

Iroquois:

Slate presents a strong open and shut argument for Ole Miss in this one. It's nearly convincing. However, I don't think this is where Bama trips.

Bama over Ole Miss.

Michigan/The Corn

Slate:
Michigan was exposed last week as a complete and total fraud who was only undefeated thanks to never leaving home and feasting on cupcakes. They walked in to Spartan Stadium and got crushed for 55 minutes against a bad MSU defense... particularly at the line. The Spartan D Line looked fabulous against a Michigan O Line who looked confused and discombobulated. Now we go to math: Iowa D >> MSU D, Thus: Michigan offense + Iowa D = value for offensive production. Iowa in a rout.

Corn over Mich

Annie:
Corn because corn is always interesting.

Corn over Mich

Iroquois:

Iowa looked really bad last week against Arkansas State. In fact, were it not for a clearly biased and botched call (in succession: a questionable PI call against Arky State and then a clear ignorance of RTP by Iowa against Arky State) this game may have gone the other way. I don't believe Michigan was exposed last week, so much as they were just unprepared, but I do believe Iowa was exposed at just being able to plan well for Penn State. Look for Iowa to fall (and hard). But don't worry, Corn fans. There's always ethanol.

Mich over Corn.

Baylor/OU

Slate:

Baylor is halfway to a bowl... good for them. It is safe to say that they won't be 66% of the way to a bowl after this game. OU will likely create a blitz of offense so large that by halftime, the U.N. will create a binding resolution to condemn the violence in Norman.

OU way over Baylor

Annie:

Baylor just because

Baylor over OU

Iroquois:

I would have called Baylor in an upset this week had their very talented QB, Robert Griffin, not been disabled for the year.

OU over Baylor

Oregon/University of Caucasians Lost among Asians

Slate:
UCLA is probably better than most think, but the same can be said for Oregon. Oregon brutalized Wazzu last week and seeing as how they have to catch up to USC in the "Pac10 one loss" division, they need to keep throttling teams to impress people into thinking they are good/totally cool enough to go to the mall with the top 10 teams.

Oregon over UCLA

Annie:

UCLA because bears would eat ducks

UCLA over Oregon

Iroquois:

Very interesting. I find this is the toughest call of the week to make. You've got Oregon on one hand, whose inconsistency can only be described as 'perplexing', and UCLA, who has been very quietly effective. Their only loss this year was to a very underrated and cohesive Stanford team. Word out of Eugene is that Jeremiah Masoli is hurt and the backup QB will be playing significant time. Combine this with the road environment, and His Coachness Sir Rick Neuheisel's suddenly stout defense, and I think we have a real upset on our hands here.

UCLA over Oregon

UGA/TN

Slate:
Lane Kiffin needs to thank his dad everyday of his life for many reasons. A newer reason is because Kiffin Sr. has been the only reason his team has even been in games. The inbred... sorry... Volunteer D has been great against high flying offenses (UF, Auburn) but the offense has been pitiful. UGA is looking to rebound from the last second loss to LSU under strange circumstances. It will be close, but Tennessee's offense will almost certainly lose the game somehow.

UGA over TN

Annie:

Georgia because Tennesee sucks

Georgia over TN.

Iroquois:

Simply...

The Meteor to annihilate both teams.

MSU/Fighting Zookers

Slate:

Juice Williams has been benched by the Zooker, which is saying something. Juice is a textbook case of a great athlete who plays QB rather than safety or something like that. Clearly, the zooker thinks that he has a better chance with a dropback QB instead of an X factor. From personal experience/scarring, it is this one's opinion that ANYTHING the Zooker thinks or does is a bad idea. You could think of him as that guy everyone grew up with who never did anything right, but kept on marching to the beat of his own drum, never taking the hint that he was failing at everything. He was the guy who thought that dropping out of school early to get a job at Pep Boys was a good idea because of "how much money (he) will have even though (he's) only 17!" Illinois is terrible this year despite having great recruits. You could almost bet that even a mediocre coach could walk in there in place of the zooker and win 9 games easily.

As for MSU, yes they won against their hated rival, but now we need to see if their defense is actually fixed or if last week's domination for 55 minutes of Michigan was a legit, infrequent or a flat out mistake.

MSU over Zookers

Annie:

The Spartys because I like them

MSU over Zookers

Iroquois:

The Juice wasn't worth the squeeze for the Zooker, I suppose. I wonder if we will see a lot of Jarrod Fayson at QB for Zookers, this being the primary (public) reason he transferred to IL. Amid uncertainty at the helm for Ron Zook, whose game day decisions have always been a shade suspect, I go with the Spartans.

MSU over Zookers.

BC/VT

Slate:
BC caught FSU in another one of those "oopsies" weeks that they seem to have regularly now that Bobby Bowden is not really there anymore. Now we hear about trustees wanting him step down which I feel is something more than Bobby's lack of recent success. More than likely, this is because Bobby supported the "Silver Menace" in the late 1800s rather than "Gold Bugs." As a person who describes his political views as "The National League", this argument is moot. We should have gone to a candy based economy after the Civil War. Society would be far more happy although savings would certainly be down.

Anyway about the game... VT really looked weird against Duke. Weird meaning "they didn't score on every offensive play from scrimmage." Look for a rebound, but it will be tight... because that's how Va Tech rolls.

VT over BC

Annie:

Virginia Tech because it is no longer BC, it is AD

VT over BC

Iroquois:

This ought to tell you how mediocre the ACC is this year. Virginia, the same team that lost to William and Mary, is #3 in the ACC with a 1.000 conference winning percent. If the ACC championship were held today, we'd see VT versus Maryland, the same Maryland that spotted Cal 52 points, needed OT to beat James Madison (though observant CFB fans will note that Jeff Sagarin's ranking system once placed JMU as a Top 10 team in the nation last year), and lost to Middle Tennessee State (though, once again, observant readers are rewarded by noting MTSU has had at least one player in the NFL every season since 1973)

I choose Virginia Tech solely on the fact that if both Miami and VT run the table, Miami gets left out of the ACC Champ. game.

VT over BC.