By Annie Detroit
Ok, so the headline was a little over dramatic, but it got your attention, didn't it? As if the Toronto Maple Leafs COULD wither and die. They've been around since the first World War. They have 13 Stanley Cups and are all that is right with the 51 state we call Canada. If the Leafs were to go down, so would civilization north of the border.
That is why the Leafs made a desperate move in trading goaltender Vesa Toskala for the Ducks Jean-Sebastien Giguere. Unfortunately, Toronto GM Brian Burke may have made the wrong move in this trade. Giggy has not pulled down the numbers he did when he led the Anaheim Mighty-less Ducks to their first Stanley Cup in franchise history. His GAA so far this season is an inflated 3.14 with only four winds in 20 games. Then again, Vesa Toskala is also a shadow of his former self, reeling in a whopping 3.66 GAA in 26 games and a whole 7 wins.
Had this trade taken place three years ago, it would've been a HUGE deal. These two still relatively young (born only four days apart 33 years ago) goaltenders seem to have already hit and passed their stride. Had this trade happened three years, Don Cherry may have had a coronary embolism. I guess in a effort to spare the life of the Canadian hero, the two teams waited until just before the Olympic Break to make the deal.
Remember that Brian Burke was the GM of that same Stanley Cup winning Ducks team that Giguere goal tended for. So what is it about the French-Canadian that gives Burke a hard-on? What is it the Maple Leafs expect Giguere to do in Toronto aside from getting Giggy with it?
Well, Giguere's playoff statistics really aren't that bad to look at. A career 2.08 GAA in the postseason really does play in his favor. He does have a tendency to come up big in the playoffs when his team needs it. But in order for that to happen, the Leafs actually have to make the playoffs. They're hold steady in the bottom half of the league in team scoring and they are currently dead last in penalty kill situations, killing off only 70%. In this deal for Giguere, the Leafs also acquired defenseman Dion Phaneuf out of Calgary. Not very good looking statistically, Phaneuf is only a +3 in 50 games this season and only 22 points.
So is Burke trying to re-create the magic of the 06-07 Ducks team in Toronto? Or is he waving the white flag with another 26 games still to play? With Toronto's last Stanley Cup coming in 1967, I guess they're willing to try anything. I wonder what Tie Domi is doing these days? Now that would at least be entertaining.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
A Course Correction
by Slate Quicksilver
This site is not, believe it not, try to adhere to a political philosophy. Yes, one party usually is attacked more than the other, but this site is composed of multiple political stances. We have, and won't name names, two democrats and two republicans on staff representing a nice cross section of politics in the post-modern world. A "moderate Republican", a "centrist Democrat", an "almost libertarian" and a "I only get political news from the Daily Show."
We remain balanced and although the soup-du-jour is to either slash/laud at "wasteful/progressive" Democrats or deride/praise "obstructionist/stalwart" Republicans, we do not want to tip our hand to a certain political party. Red mentioned Michael Jordan's truthfully funny admission that "Republicans buy shoes too" and that is an excellent point.
From Muhammad Ali refusing to go to Vietnam to Gerald Ford playing football at Michigan and going on to be President to Richard Nixon calling to the Miami Dolphins sideline to call a pass play in an important game (2 WR left slant and slot drag... incomplete pass) to Lynn Swann, Hall of Fame WR for the Steelers, running for Gov. of Pennsylvania. Sports and politics have a touch and go relationship.
These days, most sports players hold their political thoughts to their heads. It was called "refreshing" when Injured Reserve All-Star Greg Oden openly supported Barack Obama in 2008 and Jay Feely was crushed just for walking on to a FOXnews set. Is it fair? Probably not. But to this person, politics and sports should not be included. Sports is an exit for many millions of people and rehashing things of a political nature just brings up things that those many millions are trying to escape from. Unfortunately, this country is very divided... politically. We entered the Century riding an economic bubble (yes, I am aware it was about 60% artificially created) and a feeling of invincibility. After a decade of terrible issues, circumstances and in some cases decisions coupled with political infighting and a lack of admission that things were getting worse, this country has been splintered.
Whether or not you support or oppose Roe v. Wade, it is this person's opinion that we don't need to talk about it during the Super Bowl. Abortions are, and always will be, controversial. It is one of those issues that both sides are unmovable and will not convince the other side just by showing a commercial. It will require logical talks between both sides and some form of compassion. Sadly, logic and compassion rarely touch this particular debate on the American landscape. "Don't have an abortion" to most levelheaded Americans is a statement with gravity, yet passiveness. But in other cases, it will just splinter and fracture.
Tebow is doing what he thinks is right. That is, without question, commendable. Even if you wish for an abortion clinic in every garage, it would take a soul of stone to not be able to tip your hat to someone who is willing to stand up for their beliefs in the face losing face in multiple facets of society. Some will applaud. Some will demean. Some will turn the other cheek and some will just hit the mute button.
We must mention however CBS's curious decision to not air an ad promoting a gay dating website. The ad includes two gentlemen making out at the end of the commercial and that in itself would cause an uproar. CBS made a conscious decision that two gay men kissing is not OK, but bringing up a divisive topic is OK. Whether or not CBS made the decision on the grounds of politics or discretion, we don't know. We do know that CBS has shown godaddy.com commercials involving two women kissing. This, the same CBS which had a full 2 minutes of delay tape to edit out the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" and did not do so.
The "Obama Backs Saints" post was done as a political satire making fun of borderline childish state of politics that plagues the nation. Digs at both political parties were made. Previous posts with slight political spin (re: The one where an attempt to imitate Glenn Beck/the one where Alabama Gov. Bob Riley was put to the hot coals over a stupid bet) were done either by poking at sillyness that has invaded the political scene: In the "Doomsday Scenario" it was done to poke at his wild accusation throwing craziness that even most ardent Republicans shy away from but put into a college football context. In "Because It's the South... That's Why" we were making fun of the "ticky-tack" issues that bog down the political system.
Anyway, we here at PLS will back off politics for a while. We are here to demean Lane Kiffin... among other things... but we are not here to talk politics. From someone whose facebook page states that his political view is "National League" and his religious view is "SEC Football", I apologize for the political spin that have poured from this site. We are still in our infancy as a site and we will not pull a deadspin.com and fly too close to the sun and effectively get stuck being TMZsports (in our case... politicosports.com).
So, allow me to bridge a gap. Here is something we all can agree on: The new PLS stance on aquatic mammals.
This site is not, believe it not, try to adhere to a political philosophy. Yes, one party usually is attacked more than the other, but this site is composed of multiple political stances. We have, and won't name names, two democrats and two republicans on staff representing a nice cross section of politics in the post-modern world. A "moderate Republican", a "centrist Democrat", an "almost libertarian" and a "I only get political news from the Daily Show."
We remain balanced and although the soup-du-jour is to either slash/laud at "wasteful/progressive" Democrats or deride/praise "obstructionist/stalwart" Republicans, we do not want to tip our hand to a certain political party. Red mentioned Michael Jordan's truthfully funny admission that "Republicans buy shoes too" and that is an excellent point.
From Muhammad Ali refusing to go to Vietnam to Gerald Ford playing football at Michigan and going on to be President to Richard Nixon calling to the Miami Dolphins sideline to call a pass play in an important game (2 WR left slant and slot drag... incomplete pass) to Lynn Swann, Hall of Fame WR for the Steelers, running for Gov. of Pennsylvania. Sports and politics have a touch and go relationship.
These days, most sports players hold their political thoughts to their heads. It was called "refreshing" when Injured Reserve All-Star Greg Oden openly supported Barack Obama in 2008 and Jay Feely was crushed just for walking on to a FOXnews set. Is it fair? Probably not. But to this person, politics and sports should not be included. Sports is an exit for many millions of people and rehashing things of a political nature just brings up things that those many millions are trying to escape from. Unfortunately, this country is very divided... politically. We entered the Century riding an economic bubble (yes, I am aware it was about 60% artificially created) and a feeling of invincibility. After a decade of terrible issues, circumstances and in some cases decisions coupled with political infighting and a lack of admission that things were getting worse, this country has been splintered.
Whether or not you support or oppose Roe v. Wade, it is this person's opinion that we don't need to talk about it during the Super Bowl. Abortions are, and always will be, controversial. It is one of those issues that both sides are unmovable and will not convince the other side just by showing a commercial. It will require logical talks between both sides and some form of compassion. Sadly, logic and compassion rarely touch this particular debate on the American landscape. "Don't have an abortion" to most levelheaded Americans is a statement with gravity, yet passiveness. But in other cases, it will just splinter and fracture.
Tebow is doing what he thinks is right. That is, without question, commendable. Even if you wish for an abortion clinic in every garage, it would take a soul of stone to not be able to tip your hat to someone who is willing to stand up for their beliefs in the face losing face in multiple facets of society. Some will applaud. Some will demean. Some will turn the other cheek and some will just hit the mute button.
We must mention however CBS's curious decision to not air an ad promoting a gay dating website. The ad includes two gentlemen making out at the end of the commercial and that in itself would cause an uproar. CBS made a conscious decision that two gay men kissing is not OK, but bringing up a divisive topic is OK. Whether or not CBS made the decision on the grounds of politics or discretion, we don't know. We do know that CBS has shown godaddy.com commercials involving two women kissing. This, the same CBS which had a full 2 minutes of delay tape to edit out the Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" and did not do so.
The "Obama Backs Saints" post was done as a political satire making fun of borderline childish state of politics that plagues the nation. Digs at both political parties were made. Previous posts with slight political spin (re: The one where an attempt to imitate Glenn Beck/the one where Alabama Gov. Bob Riley was put to the hot coals over a stupid bet) were done either by poking at sillyness that has invaded the political scene: In the "Doomsday Scenario" it was done to poke at his wild accusation throwing craziness that even most ardent Republicans shy away from but put into a college football context. In "Because It's the South... That's Why" we were making fun of the "ticky-tack" issues that bog down the political system.
Anyway, we here at PLS will back off politics for a while. We are here to demean Lane Kiffin... among other things... but we are not here to talk politics. From someone whose facebook page states that his political view is "National League" and his religious view is "SEC Football", I apologize for the political spin that have poured from this site. We are still in our infancy as a site and we will not pull a deadspin.com and fly too close to the sun and effectively get stuck being TMZsports (in our case... politicosports.com).
So, allow me to bridge a gap. Here is something we all can agree on: The new PLS stance on aquatic mammals.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tim Tebow Wants You to Keep That Baby
By Red Herring
Michael Jordan was once asked to support a particular candidate in an election in North Carolina but he refused. Why? To quote MJ “Republicans buy sneakers too.” Many professional athletes simply do not become involved in social issues or simply don’t want to get involved. Charles Barkley famously said “I’m no role model.” But just because some athletes decide to stay out of the quagmire that is endorsing one view or another doesn’t mean that they all do.
Tim Tebow has never made a secret about which side of the line he seems to fall on. His pro-life stance is not a secret. It’s a well known fact. He doesn’t shy away from it, he wears it on his sleeve (or eye-black) if you will. He is who he is and there is nothing you can do to change it.
I’ve not seen the TV ad yet. But from what I understand the message is simple, choose life. It talks about the choices Tebow’s mother was confronted with when she was carrying little Tim. This is not a controversial message. This is not a message that should be making people upset. This isn’t a message that should be garnering the ire from a certain segment of the population. How can anyone be upset with an ad that says, “please, don’t have an abortion.”
But Tebow is taking a big risk in sending this message. By sending it he is risking endorsement deals, his popularity with the left and possibly even his draft status (not that his senior bowl workouts have been helping that much). But he is standing for something he believes in, something that Michael Jordan wouldn’t do when it could have cost him money. There is a certain honor associated with taking a stand and following through with it. Tim knows that people are going to disagree with what he has to say, but he is going to say it anyway, because that is how he feels and it is what he believes in.
It is this author’s opinion that if more people were willing to actually practice what they preach then we would live in a much better world. The fact that Tebow is doing exactly that shouldn’t be repugnant to people, it should be liberating.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Obama backs Saints; Republicans Back Colts
by Slate Quicksilver
In an ABCNews interview with Diane Sawyer, President Obama pointed out that although he thinks "both teams are terrific," he is pulling for the Saints to win the Super Bowl. Citing the fact that N'awlins has been through a bunch of bad times lately and what the Saints mean to their city, he is pulling for them. Additionally, President Obama went a bit off track and actually broke the game down a little bit:
"The Saints are a great example of spreading the wealth. QB Drew Brees throws, with regularity, to any of his 4 dynamite wide receivers and large group of fantasy football middle class RBs. I think that they could spread the Colts out a little bit an attack the right side of the defense with slants and digs. Going against Peyton Manning isn't something anyone looks forward to, on defense, but a blitzing strategy with a 'Yes We Can' attitude could keep Manning's damage to a minimum. I think the game will be high scoring, and if you want a guess, I say it'll be 59-41, Saints."
Republicans rushed to attack the President's claims. House Minority Leader John Boehner (not pronounced as hilariously as you would hope... R-OH) slammed the President for calling the Saints' running back corp "middle class... Reggie Bush was an all-time great college football player. He is anything but 'middle class'. He dates Kim Kardas... Kardonsh... The girl whose step dad is that Olympian fella. You can't be middle class and go out with a gold digger of that proportion!" Sean Hannity, of FOXnews, on his television "program" dug into the President claiming that "rooting for a team who distributes the ball evenly to a bunch of RBs and WRs of multiple talents levels is even more proof of his radical Socialist ideals."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, in between signing blank checks to anyone who walked up to her asking for money, quickly stated that she was "rooting for whoever we're (the Democrats) rooting for. Now excuse me while I get a new pen. This is the second pen to run out of ink on me today." Senate Majority leader Harry Reid politely mentioned, when asked what he thought about the game "I think that Saints will win because they have more neg... players of African-American... can I say that?... descent. African-American players are simply faster and quicker than their white or Mexica... Hispanic roots." In related news, the NAACP is calling for a resolution to have Harry Reid not come within 100 feet of a microphone connected to a recording device.
Karl Rove jumped on the President, saying that rooting against the Colts is "insulting to the Haitian people because that one negro who plays flanker for Indianapolis is of Haitian descent." When asked who she thought was going to win the Super Bowl, Former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin pledged her support behind the Dallas Mavericks. Governor Bobby Jindal, Republican Governor of the state of Louisiana, whose support was thought to be hard to get added this: "President Obama's supporting of the Saints shows just how against traditional values he is! The Colts let their QB call the plays, just like the way the game was played when were young and growing up. Rooting against that is to root against time tested values."
As a result, the Republican National Committee held an emergency meeting to pass a resolution that "Prays to the one and only God, Jesus Christ, to lead the traditional Colts to victory over the liberal and Godless Saints in Super Bowl XLVI." When pointed out that it is really Super Bowl XLIV by a reporter at the press conference, RNC chairman Michael Steele apologized stating that they were still "trying figure this whole new computer thing out" and that they had "asked John McCain to type up the release, so really it's his fault."
A national poll on CBS shows that 64% of all Americans want the Saints to win with a margin of error of 3%. Democrats are taking this national opinion and working hard to squabble over what the margin of victory will be. "Blue-Dog" democrats see a close game in the 20s while the Liberal Hippie Democrats from Left Coast see a high scoring game, but are careful not to alienate their political counterparts and state that they see the Saints "barely winning."
Collectively, the Republicans are pretty sure that the Colts will win. This is piggybacking the recent shocking win in Massachusetts for Ted Kennedy's former seat by Republican Scott Brown. "If we can win in Massachusetts, I know we can win the Super bowl!" said Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss.
It is very clear that whoever wins Super Bowl XLIV will more than likely win out in the mid-term elections. The winning party of that, of course will win when Obama goes on to challenge whichever candidate the Republicans limp to the barn with in 2012.
In an ABCNews interview with Diane Sawyer, President Obama pointed out that although he thinks "both teams are terrific," he is pulling for the Saints to win the Super Bowl. Citing the fact that N'awlins has been through a bunch of bad times lately and what the Saints mean to their city, he is pulling for them. Additionally, President Obama went a bit off track and actually broke the game down a little bit:
"The Saints are a great example of spreading the wealth. QB Drew Brees throws, with regularity, to any of his 4 dynamite wide receivers and large group of fantasy football middle class RBs. I think that they could spread the Colts out a little bit an attack the right side of the defense with slants and digs. Going against Peyton Manning isn't something anyone looks forward to, on defense, but a blitzing strategy with a 'Yes We Can' attitude could keep Manning's damage to a minimum. I think the game will be high scoring, and if you want a guess, I say it'll be 59-41, Saints."
Republicans rushed to attack the President's claims. House Minority Leader John Boehner (not pronounced as hilariously as you would hope... R-OH) slammed the President for calling the Saints' running back corp "middle class... Reggie Bush was an all-time great college football player. He is anything but 'middle class'. He dates Kim Kardas... Kardonsh... The girl whose step dad is that Olympian fella. You can't be middle class and go out with a gold digger of that proportion!" Sean Hannity, of FOXnews, on his television "program" dug into the President claiming that "rooting for a team who distributes the ball evenly to a bunch of RBs and WRs of multiple talents levels is even more proof of his radical Socialist ideals."
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, in between signing blank checks to anyone who walked up to her asking for money, quickly stated that she was "rooting for whoever we're (the Democrats) rooting for. Now excuse me while I get a new pen. This is the second pen to run out of ink on me today." Senate Majority leader Harry Reid politely mentioned, when asked what he thought about the game "I think that Saints will win because they have more neg... players of African-American... can I say that?... descent. African-American players are simply faster and quicker than their white or Mexica... Hispanic roots." In related news, the NAACP is calling for a resolution to have Harry Reid not come within 100 feet of a microphone connected to a recording device.
Karl Rove jumped on the President, saying that rooting against the Colts is "insulting to the Haitian people because that one negro who plays flanker for Indianapolis is of Haitian descent." When asked who she thought was going to win the Super Bowl, Former Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin pledged her support behind the Dallas Mavericks. Governor Bobby Jindal, Republican Governor of the state of Louisiana, whose support was thought to be hard to get added this: "President Obama's supporting of the Saints shows just how against traditional values he is! The Colts let their QB call the plays, just like the way the game was played when were young and growing up. Rooting against that is to root against time tested values."
As a result, the Republican National Committee held an emergency meeting to pass a resolution that "Prays to the one and only God, Jesus Christ, to lead the traditional Colts to victory over the liberal and Godless Saints in Super Bowl XLVI." When pointed out that it is really Super Bowl XLIV by a reporter at the press conference, RNC chairman Michael Steele apologized stating that they were still "trying figure this whole new computer thing out" and that they had "asked John McCain to type up the release, so really it's his fault."
A national poll on CBS shows that 64% of all Americans want the Saints to win with a margin of error of 3%. Democrats are taking this national opinion and working hard to squabble over what the margin of victory will be. "Blue-Dog" democrats see a close game in the 20s while the Liberal Hippie Democrats from Left Coast see a high scoring game, but are careful not to alienate their political counterparts and state that they see the Saints "barely winning."
Collectively, the Republicans are pretty sure that the Colts will win. This is piggybacking the recent shocking win in Massachusetts for Ted Kennedy's former seat by Republican Scott Brown. "If we can win in Massachusetts, I know we can win the Super bowl!" said Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss.
It is very clear that whoever wins Super Bowl XLIV will more than likely win out in the mid-term elections. The winning party of that, of course will win when Obama goes on to challenge whichever candidate the Republicans limp to the barn with in 2012.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Iroquois Plisken's NBA All-Star Team
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
I know, you guys were probably expecting Stan. Unfortunately, due to SVGUASACSE and NBA policy, since Stan is the head coach of the Eastern Conference All-Stars this year, he is not allowed to comment on the teams until they are formed, and when he does, all comments will be positive. So, you're stuck with me. Sorry. Were you expecting the NHL? I don't know squat about hockey; all I know is that it's a two-man sport, much like tobogganing. Right? Hell, I don't know anything about sledding. I might even be wrong about that.
Instead of honoring the starters as they are, something Ray Allen is want to do, I am just going to pick the teams from top to bottom, following the same position format and strictly adhering to what position they are listed for. None of this wishy-washy slot-a-guy-somewhere-just-to-make-the-game. The reference used will be nba.com. I always hate doing this, because my All-Star team just inevitably ends up being players I like, so I will try (for the sake of impartiality) and vary it up.
Eastern Conference All-Stars
Starters
PG - Rajon Rondo, BOS - I hate putting this there. Rondo went to Kentucky and was massively overrated while he was there. Florida put a hurtin' on him more than once and he was a punk then. Last year, he throws Kirk Hinrich into the scorer's table and really roughs up Brad Miller (if it was vice versa, you know Miller would have been suspended) and nothing happens except a personal foul call. Nevertheless, Rondo is playing phenomenally as my kind of PG--a guy who gets assists and steals and about 10-12 PPG. His FT% (just below 60%) is atrocious for a PG, though.
SG - Dwyane Wade, MIA - Charles Barkley approves.
SF - TheBron James, CLE - Need I say more? Check the link above for Stan's opinion.
PF - Chris Bosh, TOR (for now...) - It may not be New Orleans, but this impassioned plea is always a good view.
C - Dwight Howard, ORL - The man from my team. Having stood next to him in real life, his shoulders are twice as broad in real life as they look on TV.
Reserves (2 G, 2 F, 1 C, 2 UTIL)
G - Joe Johnson, ATL and "The New AI" Andre Iguodala, PHI
F - Josh "J-Smoov" Smith, ATL and Danny Granger, IND
C - Brook Lopez, NJ
UTIL - Gerald Wallace, CHA and Derrick Rose, CHI
Apologies to: Paul Pierce, BOS; Brandon Jennings, MIL; Antawn Jamison, WAS; Al Horford, ATL; David Lee, NYK
Western Conference
Starters
PG - Chris Paul, NOR - It's virtually a toss-up between him and Nash. CP3 wins because his performance of late has been much more consistent and basically does everything just a little better than Nash. More APG, PPG, RPG, Steals PG and MPG, with less turnovers. What's not to like?
SG - Kobe Bryant, LAL - Not a surprising pick. Man's still playing at a high level with a broken finger. Give credit where it's due, though I definitely fall on the TheBron side in the LBJ/Kobe debate.
SF - Carmelo Anthony, DEN - Must be tough to be Melo. You may never get truly appreciated in your own time, but when historians look back at this period of basketball, they'll see what a truly strong period of time this era is. Melo is on pace to lead the NBA in scoring and would probably be contending for an MVP were it not for LeBron's ridiculous year. To decide between Melo and Kevin Durant, I flipped a coin. Melo won. Sorry, KD.
PF - Dirk Nowitzki, DAL - Fighting off that weird baby mama drama that surfaced last year. The scraggly German is having another consistent year and is actually one of the most efficient players in the entire league. No joke. I had to look that one up, myself.
C - Tim Duncan, SAS - I know nba.com lists him as a forward. He's not a forward. He plays back to the basket more often than not, which makes him a center.
Reserves (2 G, 2 F, 1 C, 2 UTIL)
G - Steve Nash, PHX and Brandon Roy, POR
F - Kevin Durant, SEA (yes, Seattle) and Zach Randolph (!), MEM
C - Al Jefferson, MIN
UTIL - Corey Maggette, (!) GSW and Deron Williams, UTA
HUGE Apology to: Carlos Boozer, UTA
Apologies to: Monta Ellis, GSW [would have made it if he wasn't hurt]; Tyreke Evans, SAC; Marcus Camby, LAC; Pau OR Marc Gasol, LAL and MEM, respectively.
I know, you guys were probably expecting Stan. Unfortunately, due to SVGUASACSE and NBA policy, since Stan is the head coach of the Eastern Conference All-Stars this year, he is not allowed to comment on the teams until they are formed, and when he does, all comments will be positive. So, you're stuck with me. Sorry. Were you expecting the NHL? I don't know squat about hockey; all I know is that it's a two-man sport, much like tobogganing. Right? Hell, I don't know anything about sledding. I might even be wrong about that.
Instead of honoring the starters as they are, something Ray Allen is want to do, I am just going to pick the teams from top to bottom, following the same position format and strictly adhering to what position they are listed for. None of this wishy-washy slot-a-guy-somewhere-just-to-make-the-game. The reference used will be nba.com. I always hate doing this, because my All-Star team just inevitably ends up being players I like, so I will try (for the sake of impartiality) and vary it up.
Eastern Conference All-Stars
Starters
PG - Rajon Rondo, BOS - I hate putting this there. Rondo went to Kentucky and was massively overrated while he was there. Florida put a hurtin' on him more than once and he was a punk then. Last year, he throws Kirk Hinrich into the scorer's table and really roughs up Brad Miller (if it was vice versa, you know Miller would have been suspended) and nothing happens except a personal foul call. Nevertheless, Rondo is playing phenomenally as my kind of PG--a guy who gets assists and steals and about 10-12 PPG. His FT% (just below 60%) is atrocious for a PG, though.
SG - Dwyane Wade, MIA - Charles Barkley approves.
SF - TheBron James, CLE - Need I say more? Check the link above for Stan's opinion.
PF - Chris Bosh, TOR (for now...) - It may not be New Orleans, but this impassioned plea is always a good view.
C - Dwight Howard, ORL - The man from my team. Having stood next to him in real life, his shoulders are twice as broad in real life as they look on TV.
Reserves (2 G, 2 F, 1 C, 2 UTIL)
G - Joe Johnson, ATL and "The New AI" Andre Iguodala, PHI
F - Josh "J-Smoov" Smith, ATL and Danny Granger, IND
C - Brook Lopez, NJ
UTIL - Gerald Wallace, CHA and Derrick Rose, CHI
Apologies to: Paul Pierce, BOS; Brandon Jennings, MIL; Antawn Jamison, WAS; Al Horford, ATL; David Lee, NYK
Western Conference
Starters
PG - Chris Paul, NOR - It's virtually a toss-up between him and Nash. CP3 wins because his performance of late has been much more consistent and basically does everything just a little better than Nash. More APG, PPG, RPG, Steals PG and MPG, with less turnovers. What's not to like?
SG - Kobe Bryant, LAL - Not a surprising pick. Man's still playing at a high level with a broken finger. Give credit where it's due, though I definitely fall on the TheBron side in the LBJ/Kobe debate.
SF - Carmelo Anthony, DEN - Must be tough to be Melo. You may never get truly appreciated in your own time, but when historians look back at this period of basketball, they'll see what a truly strong period of time this era is. Melo is on pace to lead the NBA in scoring and would probably be contending for an MVP were it not for LeBron's ridiculous year. To decide between Melo and Kevin Durant, I flipped a coin. Melo won. Sorry, KD.
PF - Dirk Nowitzki, DAL - Fighting off that weird baby mama drama that surfaced last year. The scraggly German is having another consistent year and is actually one of the most efficient players in the entire league. No joke. I had to look that one up, myself.
C - Tim Duncan, SAS - I know nba.com lists him as a forward. He's not a forward. He plays back to the basket more often than not, which makes him a center.
Reserves (2 G, 2 F, 1 C, 2 UTIL)
G - Steve Nash, PHX and Brandon Roy, POR
F - Kevin Durant, SEA (yes, Seattle) and Zach Randolph (!), MEM
C - Al Jefferson, MIN
UTIL - Corey Maggette, (!) GSW and Deron Williams, UTA
HUGE Apology to: Carlos Boozer, UTA
Apologies to: Monta Ellis, GSW [would have made it if he wasn't hurt]; Tyreke Evans, SAC; Marcus Camby, LAC; Pau OR Marc Gasol, LAL and MEM, respectively.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Fascinating Article
by Slate Quicksilver
Interestingness on a large scale coming from this article by Wired Magazine.
It address the obvious fact that the latest generation of kids (ages 16 to 28 or so) are all obsessed with video games and sports games are included in that. As a result, the athletes that are coming into their own right (part of said generation) are doing better and may be smarter than their predecessors because they played the aforementioned sports games.
How do they mean?
Well, think about it. If you played any amount of the Madden or NCAA football series, you'll know what the Cover 2 is. You'll also know what a Zone Blitz is. You'll even know the difference between a dig route and slant route. Older players learn it differently.
Your parents have no idea what this is
Give it a good read and you'll learn a good deal.
Interestingness on a large scale coming from this article by Wired Magazine.
It address the obvious fact that the latest generation of kids (ages 16 to 28 or so) are all obsessed with video games and sports games are included in that. As a result, the athletes that are coming into their own right (part of said generation) are doing better and may be smarter than their predecessors because they played the aforementioned sports games.
How do they mean?
Well, think about it. If you played any amount of the Madden or NCAA football series, you'll know what the Cover 2 is. You'll also know what a Zone Blitz is. You'll even know the difference between a dig route and slant route. Older players learn it differently.
Your parents have no idea what this is
Give it a good read and you'll learn a good deal.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Who Is the Best Sports Figure Pitch Man?
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
I apologize for not getting this up earlier. I have been dealing with the loss of my beloved automobile in a flash flood. I could really use a Stan Van Gundy Used Auto Sales deal right now.
As we all know, sports lends itself to a few recognizable figures. Sometimes, these recognizable figures parlay their careers into very profitable outside deals. On this subject, we shan't consider Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods. MJ is out because he is the undisputed king, at least in America. Tiger is out because, well, have you been comatose? Here, we will go inside the marketing and find out who makes an effective pitchman and why.
Peyton Manning, QB, IND - This guy is everywhere. It also doesn't hurt that his ads are usually extremely good. From Sony to Mastercard (and with Alyson Hannigan, too. LIKE!) to Oreos to the United Way (of sorts...) to ESPN itself, it's hard not to see this 6'5, laser, rocket armed QB selling himself out as a way to make a bit extra. I personally think he's the best one, mostly because he just seems so unlikely to be good at it. At first, I don't think he was, which is perhaps why he caught on, and then he got better at being a schill, but the scripts got funnier. I might catch heat internationally for not having the next guy as my favo(u)rite, though...
David Beckham, M, currently on loan Milan - The Michael Jordan of endorsements for the rest of the world. I only know of his work for Pepsi and adidas, though. Do any of our more cosmopolitan readers have any other ones that he's done? I actually could only find him playing 1 on 1 against Reggie Bush in a battle of football/futbol.
Tony Stewart, #14 Chevrolet, NASCAR - Old Spice, Burger King, and whatever else he slaps on his automobile. Seriously, I am sure most of this blog's readers hate NASCAR, but it is truly awesome how well they work endorsements into their Victory Lane speeches. By the way, I totally would buy the Estrada glasses and Carrot Top just looks scary being that jacked.
Maria Sharapova, tennis babe - I only know that she does Canon cameras. I don't think anyone will complain if I show them, though. This is sort of an endorsement for Sports Illustrated. This is because I like y'all.
College Football Coaches from the South - Tommy Tuberville endorsing Golden Flake potato chips. Ed Orgeron's HUMMAH. The "Head Ball Coach" and UnderArmour. Nick Saban and Ford automobiles (which I am lacking). Urban Meyer and Simply Orange orange juice. My favorite? Golden Flake. Tuberville isn't even in the right time period!~
Shaquille O'Neal, C, CLE - The Diesel has been in ads for Radio Shack, Burger King, the NBA on ESPN, Pepsi, Reebok, and vitaminwater. My personal favorite, though, is Good Burger.
I guess I didn't really go into why they're so good. Easy. They're either attractive or they just look goofy doing so. And that, dear readers, is the secret to life. Either be really, really ridiculously good looking or be comically bad looking.
I apologize for not getting this up earlier. I have been dealing with the loss of my beloved automobile in a flash flood. I could really use a Stan Van Gundy Used Auto Sales deal right now.
As we all know, sports lends itself to a few recognizable figures. Sometimes, these recognizable figures parlay their careers into very profitable outside deals. On this subject, we shan't consider Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods. MJ is out because he is the undisputed king, at least in America. Tiger is out because, well, have you been comatose? Here, we will go inside the marketing and find out who makes an effective pitchman and why.
Peyton Manning, QB, IND - This guy is everywhere. It also doesn't hurt that his ads are usually extremely good. From Sony to Mastercard (and with Alyson Hannigan, too. LIKE!) to Oreos to the United Way (of sorts...) to ESPN itself, it's hard not to see this 6'5, laser, rocket armed QB selling himself out as a way to make a bit extra. I personally think he's the best one, mostly because he just seems so unlikely to be good at it. At first, I don't think he was, which is perhaps why he caught on, and then he got better at being a schill, but the scripts got funnier. I might catch heat internationally for not having the next guy as my favo(u)rite, though...
David Beckham, M, currently on loan Milan - The Michael Jordan of endorsements for the rest of the world. I only know of his work for Pepsi and adidas, though. Do any of our more cosmopolitan readers have any other ones that he's done? I actually could only find him playing 1 on 1 against Reggie Bush in a battle of football/futbol.
Tony Stewart, #14 Chevrolet, NASCAR - Old Spice, Burger King, and whatever else he slaps on his automobile. Seriously, I am sure most of this blog's readers hate NASCAR, but it is truly awesome how well they work endorsements into their Victory Lane speeches. By the way, I totally would buy the Estrada glasses and Carrot Top just looks scary being that jacked.
Maria Sharapova, tennis babe - I only know that she does Canon cameras. I don't think anyone will complain if I show them, though. This is sort of an endorsement for Sports Illustrated. This is because I like y'all.
College Football Coaches from the South - Tommy Tuberville endorsing Golden Flake potato chips. Ed Orgeron's HUMMAH. The "Head Ball Coach" and UnderArmour. Nick Saban and Ford automobiles (which I am lacking). Urban Meyer and Simply Orange orange juice. My favorite? Golden Flake. Tuberville isn't even in the right time period!~
Shaquille O'Neal, C, CLE - The Diesel has been in ads for Radio Shack, Burger King, the NBA on ESPN, Pepsi, Reebok, and vitaminwater. My personal favorite, though, is Good Burger.
I guess I didn't really go into why they're so good. Easy. They're either attractive or they just look goofy doing so. And that, dear readers, is the secret to life. Either be really, really ridiculously good looking or be comically bad looking.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thought Nuggets During the AFC Championship
by Slate Quicksilver
NFL Conference Championship weekend is this Sunday. In an attempt to do something "out-of-the-box" I will drop bombs of knowledge and observation as the AFC championship goes on. To drink: A combination of beers: Labatt Blue Light and Bell's Special Double Cream Stout (Best beer I've had in a while). To eat: Pita Chips and Hummus (underrated snack food) and for dinner: STEAK.
(Note: Thoughts will come at random... probably frequently at first and then spread out as the afternoon goes on due to unforeseen random stuff coming up)
1 PMish: Dog walked longer than normal. Taking him out of the equation is such a good idea because needing to walk a dog during a game is terrible. Just terrible. Beer is loaded into the fridge 4 at a time. The proposed Quicksilver organic garden was laid out and demarcated thanks to unseasonably warmer temperatures and a quick and early snowmelt.
2:49: Preparations complete. Just need to get through Shannon Sharpe's embarrassingly bad analysis and Dan Marino's dickish smugness.
3:05: First of probably eleventy billion Sony HDtv commercials featurign Peyton Manning. The one with Jim Nantz is reasonably funny. "Back to you, Peyton."
3:07 Colts with the ball first, Manning starts the game off with an audible (surprise!), gets amazing protection and completes a great pass to Reggie Wayne, who was supposed to be inactive today due to being covered by Darrelle Revis.
3:09 Jim Leonhard is a (insert synonym for "hard worker"/"leadertype"/"blue collar") player. A nice play by him is followed by a delay blitz by the Jets and they caught Manning off guard. That's the way the Jaguars always play the Colts close every time: delay blitzes on defense and balls out confidence on 4th down on offense.
3:15 Mark Sanchez on 3rd and medium made a great play to get rid of the ball and hit Jerricho Cotchery going out of bounds and then has the presence of mind to no huddle and QB fall down up the middle. I was cool on Sanchez for a while, but he has impressed me in the playoffs and that succession of plays was just as impressive as ever. If I didn't hate the Jets with the passion of passion 10,000 novel romances, I might have liked this kid.
3:20 Jets Kicker/Super Republican Jay Feely pushed a FG just right of the uprights. First impressions of the game: The Jets are going to NEED Sanchez to do more than manage the game to win. The Jets D looked good, but it won't last forever (they are going against the NFL equivalent of a criminal mastermind at QB). The Jets moved the ball, but only when Sanchez made plays: hitting Braylon Edwards on a slant, hitting Cotchery on a broken play. Those plays opened up Thomas Jones and Shonn Greene.
3:26 An exchange of 3 and outs shows what both teams on defense need to do: shut the TEs down. Completely. Dallas Clark and Dustin Keller are the safety valves on 75% of plays and murderous daggers on the other 25% of plays. The Jets stopped one of those ubiquitous Dallas Clark 1st down plays to force a 3 and out while the Colts are locking down Dustin Keller and taking away a rookie QB's best friend: a pressure release TE owning the middle of the field.
3:40 Watching the Jets before a play on 3rd down is pretty amusing. There is the clusterfuck of chaos between the front 7 while the DBs kind of yell at each other and shift frequently. If there is any way to not show your hand to Peyton Manning to allow him to audible correctly, I would imagine this is the way.
3:52 I don't know how down I am with this new E-trade baby. The original ones were funny, but I think E-trade has pushed it a little too hard. Think GEICO cavemen, but there isn't a failed sitcom in play here. Yet.
4:01 2 deep red zone FGs for the Colts despite two slashing drives thanks to the Jets coming up big on 3rd and goal. Interesting. /puts that in the memory file
4:07 WR Wildcat Option Pass: Unbeatable in NCAA10/looked effortless with Brad Smith throwing a rainbow to Cotchery. If it were thrown just a little bit farther downfield, Cotchery wouldn't have been caught until the Kentucky state line. People seem to forget that Brad Smith was a very serviceable QB at Mizzou... the predecessor to Chase "Pizza Guy" Daniel. ((4:09) Sony HDtv w/ Peyton Manning #3)
4:21 For those of you that don't live in the south, I need to explain why people think its stupid that the PGA tour starts so early in the year. I didn't get it until I moved up here. Next week the PGA is going to be at Torrey Pines, in San Diego. That'll be great for the golfers and people in attendance, but for those of us in the northern region of the US, we won't even watch. If we acknowledge that golf is going on, we will want to golf and unfortunately, you can't golf when there are still 2 foot deep snow drifts everywhere.
4:27 Why is Michael Phelps swimming to Vancouver? Is he that high... where he thinks that all Olympics include swimming? Or is it that Subway doesn't understand the specifics of the Olympics?
4:35 Halftime. Two big plays lead to the two Jets TDs. The Colts moved the ball well all half, but stalled on 2 of their three trips to the redzone. There seems no way to easily peg this game.
4:43 Maybe I'm missing something, but why are the Grammys being hyped so much this year? Yes, I understand it's a giant festival and celebration of the last year of music. But it is also a giant pat on the back by the music industry, as Indie bands of all genre's rarely win and moreover, the fields that are lesser known to the general public (Blues, Jazz, Classical and Gospel) are usually just given away to the biggest name.
5:06 Let's recall back to earlier in this feature: "unforeseen random stuff" was a possible roadblock to a perfect afternoon/evening. Yeah. I hate laundry and I really hate it when I forget that I've been meaning to do it all weekend and now its late in the day on Sunday. I missed the perfectly thrown Manning pass to Garcon for the TD. I do, however, have a DVR. I can't sing the praises of the DVR enough.
5:15 It's time for AT&T to give up with Luke Wilson. Honestly. I like Luke Wilson, but these commercials are getting worse and worse and American Telephone and Telegraph is marching toward its own demise. It's time to cut losses and pull up the stakes and move on to something else. That map where the dots fall on Luke Wilson with an umbrella? That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in advertising. You are giving your main competitor free ad-time to show their strength over you! And then when AT&T shows their version of their map... it's their entire network and... IT'S STILL SMALLER THAN VERIZON'S 3G COVERAGE! The other argument of "Verizon can't talk on the phone and be online at the same time" is 100% American grown corn fed bullshit. Annie Detroit has a Droid from, through VZW, and most certainly do both at the same time. Take that, Luke Wilson.
5:25 During the break going into the 4th quarter, I ventured to read a brief description and history of Lucas Oil Stadium. That place is an ode to tax-payer floated paradises. It cost 720+ million dollars. The Colts, being the generous fellows that they are, paid 100 million of that. That's it! The rest is being invoiced to to the fine people of the state of Indiana... NOT JUST THE CITY! 600 million dollars for a state of the art stadium that is, in some cases as far as 7 hours from some of the people paying for it which is, like most new stadiums, simply a playground for the uber rich underwritten by the paychecks of the middle class masses who are slummed in the upper decks... which in that stadium are kilometers away from the field? Such a deal! Someday I hope to be rich enough to vote Republican.
5:35 Get used to Jim Nantz, folks. Mr. Nantz will be doing the Super Bowl, his usual golf assignments including (and especially) the Masters and Wimbledon. I happen to like him but I can't wait to see how he handles Tiger's return (my guess... 2 weeks before the Masters) who Jim Nantz is very friendly with on and off the course.
5:41 It's looking the end for the Jets. They countered losing the lead with a 3 and out wherein Mark Sanchez looked puzzled and hurried... a combination that is only good if you are Harrison Ford in a movie where lives are in the hands of your actions and decisions.
5:55 I think it was the right decision for the Colts to go out on 4th and 1 deep in the redzone and try to get the offsides, then take the easy 3. They got a 13 point lead... simple as that. If they went for it and missed, they Jets would be down 10 and require a TD and just a FG. With a 13 point lead, 2 TDs would be needed to win. Phil Simms, as usual, was exposed agreeing with whatever the team making a decision in a game he is covering (he agreed with the Colts pseudo decision to go for it on 4th and 1) and then shutting up if they change their mind (which he promptly did when Peyton called timeout and Matt Stover was de-frosted from storage to kick the FG.
6:00 Sanchez's INT sealed the deal. It was all his fault, but the throw was not a good one. Good night New York.
NFL Conference Championship weekend is this Sunday. In an attempt to do something "out-of-the-box" I will drop bombs of knowledge and observation as the AFC championship goes on. To drink: A combination of beers: Labatt Blue Light and Bell's Special Double Cream Stout (Best beer I've had in a while). To eat: Pita Chips and Hummus (underrated snack food) and for dinner: STEAK.
(Note: Thoughts will come at random... probably frequently at first and then spread out as the afternoon goes on due to unforeseen random stuff coming up)
1 PMish: Dog walked longer than normal. Taking him out of the equation is such a good idea because needing to walk a dog during a game is terrible. Just terrible. Beer is loaded into the fridge 4 at a time. The proposed Quicksilver organic garden was laid out and demarcated thanks to unseasonably warmer temperatures and a quick and early snowmelt.
2:49: Preparations complete. Just need to get through Shannon Sharpe's embarrassingly bad analysis and Dan Marino's dickish smugness.
3:05: First of probably eleventy billion Sony HDtv commercials featurign Peyton Manning. The one with Jim Nantz is reasonably funny. "Back to you, Peyton."
3:07 Colts with the ball first, Manning starts the game off with an audible (surprise!), gets amazing protection and completes a great pass to Reggie Wayne, who was supposed to be inactive today due to being covered by Darrelle Revis.
3:09 Jim Leonhard is a (insert synonym for "hard worker"/"leadertype"/"blue collar") player. A nice play by him is followed by a delay blitz by the Jets and they caught Manning off guard. That's the way the Jaguars always play the Colts close every time: delay blitzes on defense and balls out confidence on 4th down on offense.
3:15 Mark Sanchez on 3rd and medium made a great play to get rid of the ball and hit Jerricho Cotchery going out of bounds and then has the presence of mind to no huddle and QB fall down up the middle. I was cool on Sanchez for a while, but he has impressed me in the playoffs and that succession of plays was just as impressive as ever. If I didn't hate the Jets with the passion of passion 10,000 novel romances, I might have liked this kid.
3:20 Jets Kicker/Super Republican Jay Feely pushed a FG just right of the uprights. First impressions of the game: The Jets are going to NEED Sanchez to do more than manage the game to win. The Jets D looked good, but it won't last forever (they are going against the NFL equivalent of a criminal mastermind at QB). The Jets moved the ball, but only when Sanchez made plays: hitting Braylon Edwards on a slant, hitting Cotchery on a broken play. Those plays opened up Thomas Jones and Shonn Greene.
3:26 An exchange of 3 and outs shows what both teams on defense need to do: shut the TEs down. Completely. Dallas Clark and Dustin Keller are the safety valves on 75% of plays and murderous daggers on the other 25% of plays. The Jets stopped one of those ubiquitous Dallas Clark 1st down plays to force a 3 and out while the Colts are locking down Dustin Keller and taking away a rookie QB's best friend: a pressure release TE owning the middle of the field.
3:40 Watching the Jets before a play on 3rd down is pretty amusing. There is the clusterfuck of chaos between the front 7 while the DBs kind of yell at each other and shift frequently. If there is any way to not show your hand to Peyton Manning to allow him to audible correctly, I would imagine this is the way.
3:52 I don't know how down I am with this new E-trade baby. The original ones were funny, but I think E-trade has pushed it a little too hard. Think GEICO cavemen, but there isn't a failed sitcom in play here. Yet.
4:01 2 deep red zone FGs for the Colts despite two slashing drives thanks to the Jets coming up big on 3rd and goal. Interesting. /puts that in the memory file
4:07 WR Wildcat Option Pass: Unbeatable in NCAA10/looked effortless with Brad Smith throwing a rainbow to Cotchery. If it were thrown just a little bit farther downfield, Cotchery wouldn't have been caught until the Kentucky state line. People seem to forget that Brad Smith was a very serviceable QB at Mizzou... the predecessor to Chase "Pizza Guy" Daniel. ((4:09) Sony HDtv w/ Peyton Manning #3)
4:21 For those of you that don't live in the south, I need to explain why people think its stupid that the PGA tour starts so early in the year. I didn't get it until I moved up here. Next week the PGA is going to be at Torrey Pines, in San Diego. That'll be great for the golfers and people in attendance, but for those of us in the northern region of the US, we won't even watch. If we acknowledge that golf is going on, we will want to golf and unfortunately, you can't golf when there are still 2 foot deep snow drifts everywhere.
4:27 Why is Michael Phelps swimming to Vancouver? Is he that high... where he thinks that all Olympics include swimming? Or is it that Subway doesn't understand the specifics of the Olympics?
4:35 Halftime. Two big plays lead to the two Jets TDs. The Colts moved the ball well all half, but stalled on 2 of their three trips to the redzone. There seems no way to easily peg this game.
4:43 Maybe I'm missing something, but why are the Grammys being hyped so much this year? Yes, I understand it's a giant festival and celebration of the last year of music. But it is also a giant pat on the back by the music industry, as Indie bands of all genre's rarely win and moreover, the fields that are lesser known to the general public (Blues, Jazz, Classical and Gospel) are usually just given away to the biggest name.
5:06 Let's recall back to earlier in this feature: "unforeseen random stuff" was a possible roadblock to a perfect afternoon/evening. Yeah. I hate laundry and I really hate it when I forget that I've been meaning to do it all weekend and now its late in the day on Sunday. I missed the perfectly thrown Manning pass to Garcon for the TD. I do, however, have a DVR. I can't sing the praises of the DVR enough.
5:15 It's time for AT&T to give up with Luke Wilson. Honestly. I like Luke Wilson, but these commercials are getting worse and worse and American Telephone and Telegraph is marching toward its own demise. It's time to cut losses and pull up the stakes and move on to something else. That map where the dots fall on Luke Wilson with an umbrella? That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in advertising. You are giving your main competitor free ad-time to show their strength over you! And then when AT&T shows their version of their map... it's their entire network and... IT'S STILL SMALLER THAN VERIZON'S 3G COVERAGE! The other argument of "Verizon can't talk on the phone and be online at the same time" is 100% American grown corn fed bullshit. Annie Detroit has a Droid from, through VZW, and most certainly do both at the same time. Take that, Luke Wilson.
5:25 During the break going into the 4th quarter, I ventured to read a brief description and history of Lucas Oil Stadium. That place is an ode to tax-payer floated paradises. It cost 720+ million dollars. The Colts, being the generous fellows that they are, paid 100 million of that. That's it! The rest is being invoiced to to the fine people of the state of Indiana... NOT JUST THE CITY! 600 million dollars for a state of the art stadium that is, in some cases as far as 7 hours from some of the people paying for it which is, like most new stadiums, simply a playground for the uber rich underwritten by the paychecks of the middle class masses who are slummed in the upper decks... which in that stadium are kilometers away from the field? Such a deal! Someday I hope to be rich enough to vote Republican.
5:35 Get used to Jim Nantz, folks. Mr. Nantz will be doing the Super Bowl, his usual golf assignments including (and especially) the Masters and Wimbledon. I happen to like him but I can't wait to see how he handles Tiger's return (my guess... 2 weeks before the Masters) who Jim Nantz is very friendly with on and off the course.
5:41 It's looking the end for the Jets. They countered losing the lead with a 3 and out wherein Mark Sanchez looked puzzled and hurried... a combination that is only good if you are Harrison Ford in a movie where lives are in the hands of your actions and decisions.
5:55 I think it was the right decision for the Colts to go out on 4th and 1 deep in the redzone and try to get the offsides, then take the easy 3. They got a 13 point lead... simple as that. If they went for it and missed, they Jets would be down 10 and require a TD and just a FG. With a 13 point lead, 2 TDs would be needed to win. Phil Simms, as usual, was exposed agreeing with whatever the team making a decision in a game he is covering (he agreed with the Colts pseudo decision to go for it on 4th and 1) and then shutting up if they change their mind (which he promptly did when Peyton called timeout and Matt Stover was de-frosted from storage to kick the FG.
6:00 Sanchez's INT sealed the deal. It was all his fault, but the throw was not a good one. Good night New York.
Friday, January 22, 2010
PLS EXCLUSIVE: DID LANE KIFFIN FEEL PREJUDICED IN KNOXVILLE?
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
I know you're probably tired of hearing about him by now, but intel coming straight out of Knoxville today suggests that Lane Kiffin may never have been entirely comfortable in Knoxville. Ever since word of his arrival came, native Tennessee folks just felt uncomfortable with the guy. Lane Kiffin uncharacteristically broke silence today to talk about when he realized he wasn't going to fit in at the University of Tennessee. Kiffin said that he just left his house to go to work one day and he saw a sign that suggested he move on from Knoxville. We at PLS have an exclusive photo of the sign that caused Lane to go west (young man):
Thanks, you've been a terrific audience. Try the veal; it's fantastic. Be sure to tip your hosts and hostesses on the way out. Thanks again, and enjoy Journey.
I know you're probably tired of hearing about him by now, but intel coming straight out of Knoxville today suggests that Lane Kiffin may never have been entirely comfortable in Knoxville. Ever since word of his arrival came, native Tennessee folks just felt uncomfortable with the guy. Lane Kiffin uncharacteristically broke silence today to talk about when he realized he wasn't going to fit in at the University of Tennessee. Kiffin said that he just left his house to go to work one day and he saw a sign that suggested he move on from Knoxville. We at PLS have an exclusive photo of the sign that caused Lane to go west (young man):
Thanks, you've been a terrific audience. Try the veal; it's fantastic. Be sure to tip your hosts and hostesses on the way out. Thanks again, and enjoy Journey.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Perhaps the Best Idea EVAR
by Slate Quicksilver
Busy times here, but we must share what might be the best idea ever.
Lane Kiffin pissed everyone off in Knoxville, who are now pretending like they never even wanted him in the first. But this parting shot by the locality of Knoxville may be the best retribution punch since they named this canal after a state senator who fought against it happening for 30 years (/we swear it happened but can't remember the time, place or name and it was really funny if you think about it because its petty-ness at its most powerful level on a grand scale).
Sorry for the lack of content today, deadlines on other things arose. Tomorrow will be more fun.
In the meantime, here's a hot chick wearing unnecessarily complex and hot underwear:
Busy times here, but we must share what might be the best idea ever.
Lane Kiffin pissed everyone off in Knoxville, who are now pretending like they never even wanted him in the first. But this parting shot by the locality of Knoxville may be the best retribution punch since they named this canal after a state senator who fought against it happening for 30 years (/we swear it happened but can't remember the time, place or name and it was really funny if you think about it because its petty-ness at its most powerful level on a grand scale).
Sorry for the lack of content today, deadlines on other things arose. Tomorrow will be more fun.
In the meantime, here's a hot chick wearing unnecessarily complex and hot underwear:
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Your NBA (Halftime!) Status Report Presented by Stan Van Gundy's Used Auto Sales
This is an occasional series called the NBA Status Report, sponsored by our good friends at Stan Van Gundy's Used Auto Sales and Collarless Shirt Emporium. In case you're unfamiliar with Stan's work, here's Dwight Howard doing an impersonation of him. Mr. Van Gundy, full time Magic coach and part time used car pitchman, will offer his opinions on things in the NBA by relating them to a used car on his lot. Take it away, Stan.
Well folks, it's been quite a whirlwind for your pal Stan. I've got an All-Star game to coach, a team that's been struggling to integrate its new oft-injured star, and a whole lotta cars to move. But, I'm a man of the people and I'm here today to chat with you about the NBA. We've hit the halfway point of the season and there's lots to talk about. Instead of focusing on one car in particular today, I'm just gonna throw some stuff at you today and see how it works. Let's face it, we've all got different tastes in cars and Stan Van Gundy will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to earn yer business.
Stan's Prospective MVP and Corresponding Car - LeBron James and The Batmobile. 50% FG shooting. 30 PPG. 7.5 RPG and 7.5 APG. Disgusting numbers, folks, especially in his prospective walk year. Plus, he's one of the coolest customers around. Now, you might be askin' yourself, "How on God's green Earth does Stan have the freakin' Batmobile for sale?!" Don't ask questions, friend. Suffice it to say, Stan's got a used car for everyone out there, even the fly-by-night superhero whose car I might have accidentally taken from a valet when he returned the wrong car. Rest assured, I tipped him well for that gem!
Stan's Prospective Coach of the Year and Corresponding Car - Lionel Hollins and a 2005 Honda Civic. Neither of these guys are flashy. They've been cast off a couple of times (Memphis even had him north of the border, back when Toronto wasn't the only one in Canada). But deep down, you know that both of these guys were super reliable and there was something endearing about 'em. So, 10 years later--you're in a rut. You go back to what you know. Hollins has the Grizzlies over .500. Think about it, folks. Damn fine work!
Stan's Prospective Most Improved Player and Corresponding Car - Aaron Brooks and a 2005 Mini Cooper S. Ol' Stanny's got a surplus of 2005 automobiles, apparently. Both of these lightning bugs are tiny, but don't let that fool ya! They've got surprising power for their sizes and both are significant upgrades over past models. Brooks has improved both his scoring, dimes, and FG% while dropping his TOs! The Mini came back from the dead in the 60s under intense scrutiny of being too small and unsafe (yet oddly more popular...we've got some risk-takers!) and reimagined by BMW into the niche car it is today. I tell ya, both Brooks and MINI have been takin' off like rockets! Anyone? ANYONE? Tough crowd.
Stan's Prospective Rookie of the Year and Corresponding Car - Brandon Jennings and the taxi cab from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Celebrity cars are hip with the kids nowadays, (especially 2005 ones!) so I gotta make sure to have a sweet supply on hand. Anyhow, I spoke about Mr. Jennings earlier, and that is precious space I could be using to pitch my cars! I might have been tempted to go with Tyreke Evans of the Kings instead of Jennings, but he had to go and buy from Dan Marino instead. Unforgiveable, with the way I got screwed over in Miami. YOU'RE ON NOTICE, TYREKE.
Stan's Prospective #1 Pick in the NBA Draft and Corresponding Car - John Wall (PG, Kentucky) and the Tesla Electric Car. This kid, much like the Tesla coil, is lightning in a bottle. Wow, what a player! He's still pretty raw, much like these cars are in production ($100k+ for an electric car? YIKES), but you can feel the drive comin' from both of these jokers. John Wall's a combo of Derrick Rose athleticism, Rajon Rondo flashiness, and early Jason Kidd jumpshot (note: last one's not a good thing!). Nikola Tesla (the namesake of the car) was a master electrical engineer, inventor of the radio among other things, and sometimes worshipped in his time for being descended from Heaven. Looks like history is no stranger to exaggeration!
Stan's First Half Disappointment and Corresponding Car - Detroit Pistons and a 2001 Pontiac Aztek. Both of these things are pretty bad. Detroit wasn't supposed to be the this bad. Sure, they were going to take their lumps, but maybe contend for a playoff spot. The Pontiac Aztek was a somewhat popular idea on paper going into the 2000s. But, much like the Pistons, the result that was produced was disappointing. The reviews for both teams weren't bad; they just look really ugly from the outside. Mercifully, the Aztek was blown up. Will Mr. Dumars have the same courage and conviction to do the same?
That's about all I can give you for today, fellas. The All-Star game is a busy time for me. I make a lotta sales and tempt a lot of free agents with my offering of a free car. Who wouldn't want to take me up on a free Cadillac Deville with alligator skinned seats? This year, I've made it my goal to sell a car to every member of the class of 2010 free agency, so I definitely have my hands full. Remember, if you didn't buy from me, you paid too much, WAY TOO MUCH. I'll give you some great deals on some great wheels! Good night and enjoy the second half of the season!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
D.U.M.B.A.S.S.
by Slate Quicksilver
Sometimes new parents prove to the world why there should be, at minimum, a test before being allowed to have a child. This is not a stamp on the hot button issue of abortion, this is more of a promotion of the idea of "let's remove everyone's baby making components (re: not the WHOLE THING) until you can pass a test proving you won't ruin your/the kid's life due to your own stupidity." Names are a simple thing and should be in the first 5 questions.
***EXAMPLE QUESTION***
If you were to have a child, what would you consider as a name?
The correct answer would be a normal, simple name and a unique name would be accepted as long as a committee, who of course would convene over this pressing matter, approved it. This would eliminate names like: Presley, N'Qua, Billy Jo Bob, Lane and Tonkqwainla (SPOILER ALERT! REAL NAMES/SPELLINGS!). If the committee rejects your letter, a list of recommended and, more importantly, allowed names will be provided for you as long as you don't fail the test by eating the paper or answering "Leave Baby in your 2005 Hyundai Solar Oven while you go buy a carton of Marlboros and a fresh bottle of Seagram's 7." (That one would eliminate baby making in the entire state of South Carolina. My idea sounds better and better doesn't it?)
On that question, there is really only one truly wrong answer.
This is that answer.
Upon giving this as your answer for the name question, your baby making parts will be removed and thrown into a ditch, covered with gasoline and set ablaze while you watch. This would be done not just because we don't want a kid as unfortunately named as such, but because if you are that dumb to name you kid that, we should assume your next kid will have an equally stupid name (Yes, we know you'll reproduce at least once more after that terrible of a name because that's what stupid people do... they reproduce).
Oh, what's that? You were born in 1970? Local supporters of a geographic rival jokingly suggested you were the reason for your team's misfortune for the LAST 40 YEARS of failure? That makes PERFECT sense! And now, 40 years later your son is born and why not use backward logic on already ludicriously stupid logic to try to create a wonderful logic multiball in order to shoot the Ramp of Logic 3 times to get the SUPER MEGA LOGIC JACKPOT by hurting your son's chances at any relevance in life in an attempt to somehow get your team to win a Super Bowl by giving him initials that not only spell your team's name out but also is a cheer for the team. Frankly sir, that is as bulletproof in terms of logic as wishing your mom started dinner 5 minutes earlier because she said dinner would be ready in 5 minutes and wanted dinner now.
One can only hope that tests for baby making is instituted sooner than later or else we will see more names like this: P.A.C.K.E.R.S.: Peter Aaron Charlie Knight Ellen Rogers Simonsen.
Sometimes new parents prove to the world why there should be, at minimum, a test before being allowed to have a child. This is not a stamp on the hot button issue of abortion, this is more of a promotion of the idea of "let's remove everyone's baby making components (re: not the WHOLE THING) until you can pass a test proving you won't ruin your/the kid's life due to your own stupidity." Names are a simple thing and should be in the first 5 questions.
***EXAMPLE QUESTION***
If you were to have a child, what would you consider as a name?
The correct answer would be a normal, simple name and a unique name would be accepted as long as a committee, who of course would convene over this pressing matter, approved it. This would eliminate names like: Presley, N'Qua, Billy Jo Bob, Lane and Tonkqwainla (SPOILER ALERT! REAL NAMES/SPELLINGS!). If the committee rejects your letter, a list of recommended and, more importantly, allowed names will be provided for you as long as you don't fail the test by eating the paper or answering "Leave Baby in your 2005 Hyundai Solar Oven while you go buy a carton of Marlboros and a fresh bottle of Seagram's 7." (That one would eliminate baby making in the entire state of South Carolina. My idea sounds better and better doesn't it?)
On that question, there is really only one truly wrong answer.
This is that answer.
Upon giving this as your answer for the name question, your baby making parts will be removed and thrown into a ditch, covered with gasoline and set ablaze while you watch. This would be done not just because we don't want a kid as unfortunately named as such, but because if you are that dumb to name you kid that, we should assume your next kid will have an equally stupid name (Yes, we know you'll reproduce at least once more after that terrible of a name because that's what stupid people do... they reproduce).
Oh, what's that? You were born in 1970? Local supporters of a geographic rival jokingly suggested you were the reason for your team's misfortune for the LAST 40 YEARS of failure? That makes PERFECT sense! And now, 40 years later your son is born and why not use backward logic on already ludicriously stupid logic to try to create a wonderful logic multiball in order to shoot the Ramp of Logic 3 times to get the SUPER MEGA LOGIC JACKPOT by hurting your son's chances at any relevance in life in an attempt to somehow get your team to win a Super Bowl by giving him initials that not only spell your team's name out but also is a cheer for the team. Frankly sir, that is as bulletproof in terms of logic as wishing your mom started dinner 5 minutes earlier because she said dinner would be ready in 5 minutes and wanted dinner now.
One can only hope that tests for baby making is instituted sooner than later or else we will see more names like this: P.A.C.K.E.R.S.: Peter Aaron Charlie Knight Ellen Rogers Simonsen.
Monday, January 18, 2010
College Football Year in Review for the Season Starting in '09 and Ending in '10: The Hits, The Misses, and the People That Made Them (Part II)
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
Click here if you missed Part I.
Worst Human Being Alive Strictly Pertaining to College Football - Lane Kiffin. But, you already knew that. Nominations for Worst Human Being Alive Not Strictly Pertaining to College Football are always accepted on a rolling basis.
Worst Makeover - Mark May and his dumb glasses. It's even worse because they are transition lenses. It may help you to know that I do not myself wear glasses, so it is a bit unfair for me to attack him in this regard, but are transition lenses really all that functional? They're at their absolute worst when there's a mid-range of lighting when they look like a partially tinted car window. I would punch people like that in the face, but apparently hitting people in the face while wearing glasses is frowned upon. Pity.
Worst Team - Wazzou! Washington State is a wasteland. About the only thing cool about them is the fact that their alumni have an ongoing challenge to put the Wazzou flag in the background of every College Gameday show. I like how ESPN has become cognizant of it and now actively seeks it out just to keep the streak going and to help them out, but not actually being able to justify a decision to head out that way. That kind of smugness and pretentiousness that ESPN possesses (and in volume) sometimes manifests itself in hilarious ways like that.
Worst Way to Tell Your Boss That You're Going on Vacation - Urban Meyer's "Leave of Absence" that nearly caused everyone in Gainesville's head to a splode.
Worst Omen for a New Head Coach - Tennessee barking (no pun intended) up the same tree that just bit them. Upon the hiring of Derek Dooley (son of former National Champion Buttsniffer HC Vince Dooley) as their new HC, your esteemed author noted that hiring a well-respected (in some circles) coach's son was the same way that Tennessee football got snakebitten the last time. Of course, I doubt this time it will end as poorly, but Derek Dooley may never get a fair shake if the NCAA finds that the University of Tennessee committed recruiting violations under LK.
Worst Week - Wondy Pierre-Louis, former Gators CB. First, his entire family was wiped out in the Haiti quake. Then, they weren't. Then, four felonies allegedly happen. Rough week for Mr. Pierre-Louis. Not to poke fun at an admittedly awful situation, but your author suggests that if Mr. Pierre-Louis' girlfriend would have run a sluggo route, she would have left Wondy in the dust.
And just to chiggity-check myself...
Worst Previous Prediction by Iroquois Plisken - Most of my bowl game predictions. I would have been better off flipping coins this year.
So ends the college football season of analysis. In a couple of weeks (Feb. 3d, precisely), I will bring an analysis of winners and losers on National Signing Day, which should be called National The First Official Day Recruits Can Officially Sign With A School But Really Are Not Bound By Any Sort of Force To Do So But Amazingly Continue in Said Manner for Several Years Day, but that doesn't look good on a t-shirt or on an on-screen ticker.
Click here if you missed Part I.
Worst Human Being Alive Strictly Pertaining to College Football - Lane Kiffin. But, you already knew that. Nominations for Worst Human Being Alive Not Strictly Pertaining to College Football are always accepted on a rolling basis.
Worst Makeover - Mark May and his dumb glasses. It's even worse because they are transition lenses. It may help you to know that I do not myself wear glasses, so it is a bit unfair for me to attack him in this regard, but are transition lenses really all that functional? They're at their absolute worst when there's a mid-range of lighting when they look like a partially tinted car window. I would punch people like that in the face, but apparently hitting people in the face while wearing glasses is frowned upon. Pity.
Worst Team - Wazzou! Washington State is a wasteland. About the only thing cool about them is the fact that their alumni have an ongoing challenge to put the Wazzou flag in the background of every College Gameday show. I like how ESPN has become cognizant of it and now actively seeks it out just to keep the streak going and to help them out, but not actually being able to justify a decision to head out that way. That kind of smugness and pretentiousness that ESPN possesses (and in volume) sometimes manifests itself in hilarious ways like that.
Worst Way to Tell Your Boss That You're Going on Vacation - Urban Meyer's "Leave of Absence" that nearly caused everyone in Gainesville's head to a splode.
Worst Omen for a New Head Coach - Tennessee barking (no pun intended) up the same tree that just bit them. Upon the hiring of Derek Dooley (son of former National Champion Buttsniffer HC Vince Dooley) as their new HC, your esteemed author noted that hiring a well-respected (in some circles) coach's son was the same way that Tennessee football got snakebitten the last time. Of course, I doubt this time it will end as poorly, but Derek Dooley may never get a fair shake if the NCAA finds that the University of Tennessee committed recruiting violations under LK.
Worst Week - Wondy Pierre-Louis, former Gators CB. First, his entire family was wiped out in the Haiti quake. Then, they weren't. Then, four felonies allegedly happen. Rough week for Mr. Pierre-Louis. Not to poke fun at an admittedly awful situation, but your author suggests that if Mr. Pierre-Louis' girlfriend would have run a sluggo route, she would have left Wondy in the dust.
And just to chiggity-check myself...
Worst Previous Prediction by Iroquois Plisken - Most of my bowl game predictions. I would have been better off flipping coins this year.
So ends the college football season of analysis. In a couple of weeks (Feb. 3d, precisely), I will bring an analysis of winners and losers on National Signing Day, which should be called National The First Official Day Recruits Can Officially Sign With A School But Really Are Not Bound By Any Sort of Force To Do So But Amazingly Continue in Said Manner for Several Years Day, but that doesn't look good on a t-shirt or on an on-screen ticker.
Friday, January 15, 2010
More on the Lane Kiffin hire: why you want your rival to hire this man
By Red Herring
Let’s be honest for a second, USC didn’t want Lane Kiffin. Lane Kiffin was not plan A, or B, or who knows how many more letters. Lane Kiffin is not being hired because he is Lane Kiffin. Lane Kiffin is being hired because by hiring little Lane USC gets big Monte, and who also might be my favorite coaching persona in all of sports, Big Ed Orgeron. I could write for days and days about Orgeron. Quite simply, if you were to imagine a big, scary and possibly psychotic football coach the image that would pop into your mind would be Ed Orgeron. Don’t believe me? All you have to do is watch this video to know that everything that is man is Orgeron. That video was shot in one take, because Coach O doesn’t repeat himself. Little known fact: the hummer was not originally designed for the military; instead it was created for the singular purpose of transporting the demigod that is Ed Orgeron. ED ORGERON!!!!
But I digress, back to our story.
If the only thing USC was getting out of this deal was Lane Kiffin there is no way that they would have committed to him. That brings me to my main point. You want this man to be the head ball coach of your rival. Why? Because Lane Kiffin has no fucking idea what he is doing.
Lane Kiffin is completely unqualified to be the head coach at USC. Hell, he wasn’t qualified to be the head coach at Tennessee. The only thing Kiffin managed to do as the Vols head coach was to piss off almost every other coach in the SEC. Lane Kiffin is what we call an interview king, he sells himself well. He sells himself so well that he keeps convincing people to give him millions of dollars to do things that he has no idea how to do. This is a useful skill to have if you’re Lane Kiffin, but a terrible skill to have as a head coach (recruiting being the big exception to this rule). Let’s see what Lane Kiffin has delivered to his employers over the past few years. As Raiders head coach he went a stellar 5-15. Maybe we can rack that up to you know, it being the Raiders. But he managed to turn around Tennessee right? A 7-6 record and a trouncing by Virginia Tech in this bowl game would beg to differ. Is this the resume of a guy who you want as your head football coach? Hell no it isn’t, this is the resume of the guy you want to be coaching your most hated rival. This is the resume of the former football coach who now is the manager of the local IHOP. Yet somehow people keep giving Kiffin chances to stab them in the back. This hire make USC look like they were desperate to find anyone to coach their soon to be heavily sanctioned program. Here is the real question that we should be asking ourselves, if USC is the best job in the country, why the hell is Lane Kiffin the head coach there?
Still, you have to admire the ability of Lane to take one crazy decision by Al Davis and parlay it into two head coaching positions at premier college programs. It is not his fault that people cannot see though his bullshit and into his complete lack of accomplishment. One has to ask if Monte was actually in the room when Lane was born or conceived, because you can’t believe someone as great as Monte Kiffin could produce anything like Lane. Well, unless he was squatting on a toilet. But look on the bright side, more Ed Orgeron coverage!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Retractions, Hot Chicks, and Puppies
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
There was a story up on the site yesterday about a former Gators CB from Haiti whose family had been killed in the earthquake. Today, I am pleased to report that is not true. The story has been deleted and retracted, though it was not posted maliciously.
As per commenter requests, the next post (this one, though that in and of itself is debatable) shall have both a puppy and a hot chick.
There was a story up on the site yesterday about a former Gators CB from Haiti whose family had been killed in the earthquake. Today, I am pleased to report that is not true. The story has been deleted and retracted, though it was not posted maliciously.
As per commenter requests, the next post (this one, though that in and of itself is debatable) shall have both a puppy and a hot chick.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Humanitarian Efforts Gone Wrong
by Slate Quicksilver
A devastating earthquake ripped through the island nation of Haiti on Tuesday. It is feared that perhaps 100,000 of people including their citizens, leaders, U.N. soldiers, visiting Doctors and nationals of other countries have perished. The fault zone that runs through the island of Hispanola, which was assumed to be prime for a large earthquake finally gave way just 10 miles offshore from Port-au-Prince, the capital and population center. Prayers and thoughts go out to their people.
As if thing aren't bad enough, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere is about to get gravely worse. Another poor nation, this one located in the hills of eastern Tennessee, the Vol Nation as they call themselves, is pulling themselves from an earth shattering event of their. Their "leader" is leaving for another country. A much much richer country so rich, in fact, that they can afford to pay their own players while they play there.
The Vol nation is enraged, yet has taken time to do what they think will help Haiti.
Flooding Haiti with nuclear puke orange shirts will just make the populace sick and make nausea rampant. Haitians need medical supplies, a hospital, food and confidence that their country will not lapse even further in to the depths of Hell on Earth. Sending these shirts will only make things worse. We can only hope for a reconsidering by the Vol nation but if necessary, a U.N. detachment will be sent in to prevent this malace from being spread.
A devastating earthquake ripped through the island nation of Haiti on Tuesday. It is feared that perhaps 100,000 of people including their citizens, leaders, U.N. soldiers, visiting Doctors and nationals of other countries have perished. The fault zone that runs through the island of Hispanola, which was assumed to be prime for a large earthquake finally gave way just 10 miles offshore from Port-au-Prince, the capital and population center. Prayers and thoughts go out to their people.
As if thing aren't bad enough, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere is about to get gravely worse. Another poor nation, this one located in the hills of eastern Tennessee, the Vol Nation as they call themselves, is pulling themselves from an earth shattering event of their. Their "leader" is leaving for another country. A much much richer country so rich, in fact, that they can afford to pay their own players while they play there.
The Vol nation is enraged, yet has taken time to do what they think will help Haiti.
Flooding Haiti with nuclear puke orange shirts will just make the populace sick and make nausea rampant. Haitians need medical supplies, a hospital, food and confidence that their country will not lapse even further in to the depths of Hell on Earth. Sending these shirts will only make things worse. We can only hope for a reconsidering by the Vol nation but if necessary, a U.N. detachment will be sent in to prevent this malace from being spread.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Instant Reaction: Lane Kiffin to Southern Cal as HC (and Post Reaction Venom)
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
Lane Kiffin is leaving a swath of destruction. Reports are surfacing that Kiffykins is taking the Southern California job.
First of all, Gary Uberstine, Kiffin's agent, really earns his money. How he managed to get Lane Kiffin a 3d tier coaching job with a losing record in the NFL isn't uncommon, but few have managed to snag jobs with only three wins. Next, he takes a Tennessee team that won a National Title in 1998 (the first BCS National Title) and, granted, followed a legend who insisted in his later years of running a tight ship and destroys that in mere fortnights. Next, he riles up Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, and Mike Slive and gets slapped with fines. After bragging about the cleanliness of his program, he ends up getting his school investigated. Finally, he finishes his season one game above .500.
And somehow this chump gets a job at a top tier football program? Even one that is likely walking into probation? If you think Florida and Urban Meyer are disliked in the SEC, he is the freakin' Prom Queen compared to Lane.
Second, this could not be more perfect for either USC or Kiffin. Lane Kiffin can spin anything into a positive. He coined the term "moral victory" after a loss! If USC is truly walking into this NCAA investigation, as it has become apparent in the last few weeks, Kiffin will probably say something like, "The entire college football realm is afraid of Southern California, so to level the playing field, I accept voluntary probation and I will personally chop off one limb from each starter." Of course, Mark May will still love them.
Third, this is better for Tennessee in the long run. I hate to say that because I despise their prison work release colors. Too bad that Tommy Tuberville was already hired; he would have been an absolute knockout hire for them. They can't go crawling back to Phil Fulmer. Johnny Majors isn't an option, so they're out of legends. Good news is they got their legend following out of the way. I can't think of anyone right now who they could pursue, as they probably don't even have their short list up yet.
In the short term for TN, however, this is an unmitigated disaster. All of their early entrants will ask for a release. Their recruiting class will get destroyed and it's unlikely they'll be able to salvage much of it, anyhow. Anyone worth keeping on that staff, except maybe Lance Thompson, is gone. Eddie Gran is at Florida State and turned down Tuberville at TTech. Kiffin is taking Monte, Orgeron, and maybe another to Southern Cal. There is that pending investigation. Any coach who could be convinced to come to the smoldering mess that is Knoxville (if there is a University of Tennessee after tonight) needs at least 5 years to recover. A rebuilding team doesn't need this kind of unrest.
Fourth, who would have ever thought Lane Kiffin would make Al Davis (old Al Davis) look like a sensible and prudent man?
Fifth, what of little Monte Knox Kiffin, who goes by Knox, according to Pops? I guess he'll be going by Monte and regularly sacked for lunch money and stuffed in lockers in middle school.
Finally, them Wikipedia fiends are faaaast. Immediately after the posting, it said "Lane Kiffin has taken the job as the Southern California Head Coach because he was afraid of Urban Meyer." Tee hee.
::Update (11:00 PM) - a good short list to start would be Randy Edsall, Kirby Smart, Will Muschamp, and maybe Troy Calhoun, who was 2nd place to Kiffin last time, apparently.::
::Update #2 (midnight) - This keeps getting better. Apparently, the TN fans were so pissed off at this transaction and occurrence that they stormed the football office and started a riot. At his impromptu press conference after informing the team, there were obscenities and stuff thrown. The Orlando Sentinel has a link to the riots. Supposedly, there's tear gas too. About the only way anyone will shed a tear for that(long string of expletives deleted).::
::Update #3 (12:15 AM) - Lane's goodbye press conference is the most chicken-$#!t thing I've ever seen. A reporter asks if he could take 3 questions out of respect for Tennessee, and he declines and walks silently out the door.
::Update #4 (10:15 AM) - And now the players speak. Former OL Josh McNeil had some harsh criticism of Lane.
That's harsh. Considering Phil Fulmer once was Public Enemy #1 in the state for allegedly (and most likely) ratting out Alabama's cheatin' ways, that line is akin to taking your mother (who is a saint!) out for a nice seafood dinner and never calling her again. Seriously, though, that's just...cold.
McNeil had some nice things to say about Monte, though, which should shed some light for you non-Southerners on Lane the Main Brain.
Bottom line, this P.O.S. deserves anything that happens to him and I completely support the Volunteers in that endeavor. Better check your brake lines and tires before you leave town, Lane. I'd also probably never return to the state of Tennessee. They won't be as forgiving as Pahokee was. Ask Phil Fulmer about how exciting it was for him to travel into the state of Alabama every other year.
Lane Kiffin is leaving a swath of destruction. Reports are surfacing that Kiffykins is taking the Southern California job.
First of all, Gary Uberstine, Kiffin's agent, really earns his money. How he managed to get Lane Kiffin a 3d tier coaching job with a losing record in the NFL isn't uncommon, but few have managed to snag jobs with only three wins. Next, he takes a Tennessee team that won a National Title in 1998 (the first BCS National Title) and, granted, followed a legend who insisted in his later years of running a tight ship and destroys that in mere fortnights. Next, he riles up Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, and Mike Slive and gets slapped with fines. After bragging about the cleanliness of his program, he ends up getting his school investigated. Finally, he finishes his season one game above .500.
And somehow this chump gets a job at a top tier football program? Even one that is likely walking into probation? If you think Florida and Urban Meyer are disliked in the SEC, he is the freakin' Prom Queen compared to Lane.
Second, this could not be more perfect for either USC or Kiffin. Lane Kiffin can spin anything into a positive. He coined the term "moral victory" after a loss! If USC is truly walking into this NCAA investigation, as it has become apparent in the last few weeks, Kiffin will probably say something like, "The entire college football realm is afraid of Southern California, so to level the playing field, I accept voluntary probation and I will personally chop off one limb from each starter." Of course, Mark May will still love them.
Third, this is better for Tennessee in the long run. I hate to say that because I despise their prison work release colors. Too bad that Tommy Tuberville was already hired; he would have been an absolute knockout hire for them. They can't go crawling back to Phil Fulmer. Johnny Majors isn't an option, so they're out of legends. Good news is they got their legend following out of the way. I can't think of anyone right now who they could pursue, as they probably don't even have their short list up yet.
In the short term for TN, however, this is an unmitigated disaster. All of their early entrants will ask for a release. Their recruiting class will get destroyed and it's unlikely they'll be able to salvage much of it, anyhow. Anyone worth keeping on that staff, except maybe Lance Thompson, is gone. Eddie Gran is at Florida State and turned down Tuberville at TTech. Kiffin is taking Monte, Orgeron, and maybe another to Southern Cal. There is that pending investigation. Any coach who could be convinced to come to the smoldering mess that is Knoxville (if there is a University of Tennessee after tonight) needs at least 5 years to recover. A rebuilding team doesn't need this kind of unrest.
Fourth, who would have ever thought Lane Kiffin would make Al Davis (old Al Davis) look like a sensible and prudent man?
Fifth, what of little Monte Knox Kiffin, who goes by Knox, according to Pops? I guess he'll be going by Monte and regularly sacked for lunch money and stuffed in lockers in middle school.
Finally, them Wikipedia fiends are faaaast. Immediately after the posting, it said "Lane Kiffin has taken the job as the Southern California Head Coach because he was afraid of Urban Meyer." Tee hee.
::Update (11:00 PM) - a good short list to start would be Randy Edsall, Kirby Smart, Will Muschamp, and maybe Troy Calhoun, who was 2nd place to Kiffin last time, apparently.::
::Update #2 (midnight) - This keeps getting better. Apparently, the TN fans were so pissed off at this transaction and occurrence that they stormed the football office and started a riot. At his impromptu press conference after informing the team, there were obscenities and stuff thrown. The Orlando Sentinel has a link to the riots. Supposedly, there's tear gas too. About the only way anyone will shed a tear for that
::Update #3 (12:15 AM) - Lane's goodbye press conference is the most chicken-$#!t thing I've ever seen. A reporter asks if he could take 3 questions out of respect for Tennessee, and he declines and walks silently out the door.
::Update #4 (10:15 AM) - And now the players speak. Former OL Josh McNeil had some harsh criticism of Lane.
"Coach Kiffin cared about Tennessee traditions less than the worst Vol hater in the state of Alabama..."
That's harsh. Considering Phil Fulmer once was Public Enemy #1 in the state for allegedly (and most likely) ratting out Alabama's cheatin' ways, that line is akin to taking your mother (who is a saint!) out for a nice seafood dinner and never calling her again. Seriously, though, that's just...cold.
McNeil had some nice things to say about Monte, though, which should shed some light for you non-Southerners on Lane the Main Brain.
"Monte was loved by everyone," says McNeil. "He was a great guy, a great football coach, but a better guy."
McNeil pauses for a moment, thinks.
"He and Lane had absolutely nothing in common."
Bottom line, this P.O.S. deserves anything that happens to him and I completely support the Volunteers in that endeavor. Better check your brake lines and tires before you leave town, Lane. I'd also probably never return to the state of Tennessee. They won't be as forgiving as Pahokee was. Ask Phil Fulmer about how exciting it was for him to travel into the state of Alabama every other year.
Final Word for College Football Season 140 part deux
by Slate Quicksilver
We already went through the first 3 power conferences in terms of alphabeticalosity, now we move to the next few. However I'd like to make a brief foray into what Iroquois did:
Best Player: Toby Gerhardt. He did amazing things with little to nothing helping him out. He looked like Jay Culter 2006 in the Swamp destroying the Gators defense battling the refs, his own team's terribleness and light resistance put up by the Gators still shaking off the Zooker curse and thinking that coasting at the end of games was not only acceptable but expected. Only Toby Gerhardt did it every week and doesn't appear to be a total asshole.
Best Team: Alabama. No questions here. Best team you didn't hear about this year: Central Connecticut State. They went 9-3 in the Northeastern conference winning it for the first time in this epoch. Congrats to the Blue Devils.
/my birthday is coming up and Mother Quicksilver is an alum and I want a certain awesome gift
Best Foil: Reynolds Wrap Quality Aluminum Foil. Seriously this stuff is awesome and cheap. You can line your cooking pan with this, plop down 5 pounds of frozen fries and then dump 3 cups of every kind of cheese you like on it and it won't rip or rupture when you take it out. Ridiculous.
Most Entertaining non-bowl game: FSU - UF. Watching an old rival fail multiple times over and over again never got old. Same week, LSU/Arkansas. That game was wacky.
Most Entertaining Bowl game: The bowl game the University of Michigan did not go to for the second year in a row.
Best Demise: (tie) Michigan, for the losing and terribleness. USC for the allegations and abandonment.
Let's move on to the rest of the important conferences:
BigTen:
Mixed directions here for this conference. Yes, Ohio State won a BCS game (OMGOMGOMGOMG) and that means that the past few years of total badness, surrending the butt and just general "oops did we really do that"s against good teams is totally 100% completely totally and definitively forgiven. In related news, Japan has forgiven the U.S. for dropping 2 atomic bombs on them and we're totally cool now.
However we must look at the rest of the conference to really get the picture. Michigan is going nowhere fast and although this year was better, the team was supposedly going to be considerably better. Now they are losing their best defensive player. Not good for them. Michigan State took a step back, but we maintain that they lost several games in miserable heart stomping fashion and should be better next year with an actual offense. Illinois is abysmal and the Zooker will probably soon be cut free into the wilderness. Indiana is improving, oddly, and maybe will even go to a bowl game next year.
Penn State will forever under JoePa finish in tied for 2nd or in 3rd in the BigTen. Forever. Northwestern showed spunk this year but will probably stop the immediate moment their coach leaves. Iowa could be good next year with a slew of returning starters, but remember that they are incapable of putting two good seasons together. WisCANsin impressed most, but you can never truly gauge them thanks to the fact that no one cares about them. We also have Minnesota who is an enigma and finally we have Purdue who is terrible yet somehow beat Ohio State.
Pac10:
Let's get the elephant out of the room: USC, you are F'd in the A. It's been real, but it's time for your snooty rich student population to go back to not caring about their team. Washington is showing signs of life while Washington State is, without a doubt, a quadreplegic, deaf, blind and dumb team with no hope for anything. The state of Arizona is very blah, but somehow I think they will survive.
It looks as though USC's fall is everyone else's gain. Stanford is rising from the ashes under their new coach. California is not bad and has a great defense. Oregon is probably set in the Pac10 for years to come and Oregon State will be up there fighting them the whole way. However it must be asked: is the Pac10 going to benefit from USC's fall?
USC's disappearance will help the other teams, but they lose that one powerhouse. It's a tough question, but I vote that the conference goes forward. Oregon, Cal, Stanford and Oregon State will all pick up better recruits and really USC's fall is everyone else's gain.
Except Washington State. They are pathetic.
SEC:
SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC. No, really. The SEC is fine. Florida, regardless of Urban's absence of unknown length, will be fine with a new "more 2006ish" offense, but they won't be wowwing anyone either with a "more 2007ish" defense holding them back. Georgia will be better next year, the question is by how much. Tennessee might be better next year assuming that the team doesn't try to rob a McDonalds all at once on a motor coach. South Carolina is going nowhere and neither is Kentucky. Lastly we have Vandy would returned to Earth after last year's fun and will continue to be Vandy for the next 50 years or so.
In the West, Alabama looks to be in control for next year and only LSU and UF stand to even come close to them next year. LSU is going to improve as long as they take a time-management course. Ole Miss was up and down this year and will continue to do so as long as Count von Giggity is coaching them. Auburn improved more than most thought, but we need another year to digest their team fully. Arkansas also improved, and so did Mississippi State although they only slightly improved. This makes the SEC West scary, powerful and a harsh place live.
So that's it. Yes, the SEC is the best conference and blablabla woofwoofwoof (insert SEC hack talk). We go into the 8 month void scared and with trepidation. Iroquois is going to post Mondays and Wednesdays, I will hit on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Annie and Red may drop in from time to time. We'll go into baseball, soccer, hockey, the olympics... it'' be ever so much fun!
Thank for reading this and we won't disappoint in the offseason!
We already went through the first 3 power conferences in terms of alphabeticalosity, now we move to the next few. However I'd like to make a brief foray into what Iroquois did:
Best Player: Toby Gerhardt. He did amazing things with little to nothing helping him out. He looked like Jay Culter 2006 in the Swamp destroying the Gators defense battling the refs, his own team's terribleness and light resistance put up by the Gators still shaking off the Zooker curse and thinking that coasting at the end of games was not only acceptable but expected. Only Toby Gerhardt did it every week and doesn't appear to be a total asshole.
Best Team: Alabama. No questions here. Best team you didn't hear about this year: Central Connecticut State. They went 9-3 in the Northeastern conference winning it for the first time in this epoch. Congrats to the Blue Devils.
/my birthday is coming up and Mother Quicksilver is an alum and I want a certain awesome gift
Best Foil: Reynolds Wrap Quality Aluminum Foil. Seriously this stuff is awesome and cheap. You can line your cooking pan with this, plop down 5 pounds of frozen fries and then dump 3 cups of every kind of cheese you like on it and it won't rip or rupture when you take it out. Ridiculous.
Most Entertaining non-bowl game: FSU - UF. Watching an old rival fail multiple times over and over again never got old. Same week, LSU/Arkansas. That game was wacky.
Most Entertaining Bowl game: The bowl game the University of Michigan did not go to for the second year in a row.
Best Demise: (tie) Michigan, for the losing and terribleness. USC for the allegations and abandonment.
Let's move on to the rest of the important conferences:
BigTen:
Mixed directions here for this conference. Yes, Ohio State won a BCS game (OMGOMGOMGOMG) and that means that the past few years of total badness, surrending the butt and just general "oops did we really do that"s against good teams is totally 100% completely totally and definitively forgiven. In related news, Japan has forgiven the U.S. for dropping 2 atomic bombs on them and we're totally cool now.
However we must look at the rest of the conference to really get the picture. Michigan is going nowhere fast and although this year was better, the team was supposedly going to be considerably better. Now they are losing their best defensive player. Not good for them. Michigan State took a step back, but we maintain that they lost several games in miserable heart stomping fashion and should be better next year with an actual offense. Illinois is abysmal and the Zooker will probably soon be cut free into the wilderness. Indiana is improving, oddly, and maybe will even go to a bowl game next year.
Penn State will forever under JoePa finish in tied for 2nd or in 3rd in the BigTen. Forever. Northwestern showed spunk this year but will probably stop the immediate moment their coach leaves. Iowa could be good next year with a slew of returning starters, but remember that they are incapable of putting two good seasons together. WisCANsin impressed most, but you can never truly gauge them thanks to the fact that no one cares about them. We also have Minnesota who is an enigma and finally we have Purdue who is terrible yet somehow beat Ohio State.
Pac10:
Let's get the elephant out of the room: USC, you are F'd in the A. It's been real, but it's time for your snooty rich student population to go back to not caring about their team. Washington is showing signs of life while Washington State is, without a doubt, a quadreplegic, deaf, blind and dumb team with no hope for anything. The state of Arizona is very blah, but somehow I think they will survive.
It looks as though USC's fall is everyone else's gain. Stanford is rising from the ashes under their new coach. California is not bad and has a great defense. Oregon is probably set in the Pac10 for years to come and Oregon State will be up there fighting them the whole way. However it must be asked: is the Pac10 going to benefit from USC's fall?
USC's disappearance will help the other teams, but they lose that one powerhouse. It's a tough question, but I vote that the conference goes forward. Oregon, Cal, Stanford and Oregon State will all pick up better recruits and really USC's fall is everyone else's gain.
Except Washington State. They are pathetic.
SEC:
SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC. No, really. The SEC is fine. Florida, regardless of Urban's absence of unknown length, will be fine with a new "more 2006ish" offense, but they won't be wowwing anyone either with a "more 2007ish" defense holding them back. Georgia will be better next year, the question is by how much. Tennessee might be better next year assuming that the team doesn't try to rob a McDonalds all at once on a motor coach. South Carolina is going nowhere and neither is Kentucky. Lastly we have Vandy would returned to Earth after last year's fun and will continue to be Vandy for the next 50 years or so.
In the West, Alabama looks to be in control for next year and only LSU and UF stand to even come close to them next year. LSU is going to improve as long as they take a time-management course. Ole Miss was up and down this year and will continue to do so as long as Count von Giggity is coaching them. Auburn improved more than most thought, but we need another year to digest their team fully. Arkansas also improved, and so did Mississippi State although they only slightly improved. This makes the SEC West scary, powerful and a harsh place live.
So that's it. Yes, the SEC is the best conference and blablabla woofwoofwoof (insert SEC hack talk). We go into the 8 month void scared and with trepidation. Iroquois is going to post Mondays and Wednesdays, I will hit on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Annie and Red may drop in from time to time. We'll go into baseball, soccer, hockey, the olympics... it'' be ever so much fun!
Thank for reading this and we won't disappoint in the offseason!
Monday, January 11, 2010
College Football Year in Review for the Season Starting in '09 and Ending in '10: The Hits, The Misses, and the People That Made Them (Part I)
Posted by Iroquois Plisken
As my favorite sport draws to a close for another year, it's time that I ask of you, the reader, to bundle up (even in sunny Florida as I type this, it is 18 degrees), kick back in your favorite easy chair (making sure not to disrupt what I am sure is nothing short of an architectural marvel of cheap beer cans), and reminisce with me about the recently ended season. But before I get going, a thought.
Slate has already mentioned it in this space before, but I would again like to post in this space how truly terrible I feel for Colt McCoy. To go down in the beginning minutes of your ultimate game (dual meanings emphasized) is nothing short of sickening, in a la-vita-e-bella kind of way. You really feel for the kid, who by all accounts was dying to get back in the game (as we have come to expect in football), especially when the post-game interview with Sr. McCoy procudes tear-jerkers like this (H/T Bruce Feldman's mailbag. Since it's ESPN Insider, I can't link it, but I do want to just lift a direct quote from Mr. McCoy)
I'm not a father yet (or that I know of...), but apparently the days of your son asking you why something happened the way it did, much like a seven year old asks why beloved pet Spike won't be coming home from the vet, never ends.
Having gotten that off of my chest, it's time to delve into what the title speaks: highlights and lowlights from the year gone by. This will take two parts, so I think I'll split them into two columns: best and worst of the year. This one shall be entitled "Best".
Best Player - This has nothing to do with the H---man vote, though I do think it would help to at least mention it. I would posit, as I have previously, that Ndamukong Suh was far and away the best player in college football, though. 82 tackles credited, 47 of them solo, and 12 sacks for his position is simply incredible. We will really never know if it was just weak offensive lines he played against, but my guess is that it would have mattered very little. He's going to be an immediate impact player in the NFL, but for now, he must be content to know that he had a stellar year, ended his career at Nebraska on a high note, and although he could have been in a BCS Bowl if the game had been decided properly, he must hold his head high for garnering so much momentum for Nebraska that Slate fears their revival. As we all do, Slate, as we all do.
Best Teams - I actually can't pinpoint a team that was far and away the best this year. There's Alabama, obviously, but given another whack at it, I bet Florida could put them away. Boise State did go undefeated and, might I add, beat the eventual Pac-1o champion in Week One. I would be remiss if I didn't consider the tremendous fortitude that Connecticut showed after the untimely and tragic death of their comrade. As always, Florida is my team and after their performance in the Sugar Bowl leads this writer to wonder, "What if...?". We saw how close Texas was to defeating Alabama without Colt McCoy, holding the "vaunted" Bama offense to just 116 yards in the second half. There were many deserving teams this year, and I opt not to pick one, but note that those teams, I feel, were noteworthy.
Best Foils - The Big Ten and Lane Kiffin (tie). I must admit, I had a great time picking on the Big Ten this year, and they actually did decently enough. Ohio State played Oregon extremely well (a game I was nearly positive Oregon would win) and Terrelle Pryor made some great progress this year. He needs to continue improving next year, but the fact that strides were made after the playbook was simplified shows that a) he's living up to some of the hype that he once had and b) that he's still a ways from being a really elite option. Take heart, Jeff the Commenter. Your team looks, on paper, like a real contender for the MNC of this upcoming season.
I also don't need to go into great detail about Kiffin because I hate wasting precious energy on that cretin, but he has made it fun, and occasionally tiring, to hate Tennessee. His assistants are already bolting on him (in particular, Eddie Gran--though now at FSU--will probably follow Tuberville to TTech and Petey Pie Carroll will probably poach Coach O and his Hummer). It will be fun to have some great meaning again behind beatdowns of the ones donning the Prison Work Release Orange.
Most Entertaining Non-Bowl Games - Boise/Oregon (Wk 1), Alabama/TN (Week 8), Iowa's Comeback Kid Victories (lots of Weeks), Stanford/Oregon (Week 10), LSU/Mississippi (Week 12), The Iron Bowl (Week 13), Big XII Championship
Most Entertaining Bowl Game - Roady's Humanitarian (Bowling Green/Idaho---seriously!) Favorite moment was when Idaho coach Robb Akey (an Iroquois favorite) told people to tune into the second half while staring into the camera with his Stan Van Gundy-esque raspy voice. If anyone has that video, I'd like to see it. Classic. While FreshSportsDaily seems to think the media is pressing for a feel-good story so they jump on the Akey bandwagon, as a non-media member, I can tell you as just an average football fan, I enjoy the hell out of Robb Akey and would not be surprised to see this guy getting looks for a higher profile gig in a couple of years.
Best Demise - Southern California. The spectre of Reggie Bush, O.J. Mayo, and one of the shadiest ADs in college football may decimate that program if the NCAA has its way. Wait, what am I saying? SoCal is a golden calf. It probably won't get sacrificed, but it is difficult to say that nothing will happen to them, especially given that the Reggie Bush trial for breach of contract to his agent is moving forward. Pete Carroll leaving would have to be crushing news, I think. If Carroll gets called as a witness in this trial and knows anything at all about Bush's sweetened pots, he no longer has to defend his employer, given that he and AD Mike Garrett are not on the best of terms. Reports say that Pete, much like former Men's BB HC Tim Floyd, felt abandoned by Garrett when times got tough. Jim Alexander chimes in with similar sentiment.
I think that will do, for now. If I think of any miscellany that I want added in, I will throw it in with the second part.
As my favorite sport draws to a close for another year, it's time that I ask of you, the reader, to bundle up (even in sunny Florida as I type this, it is 18 degrees), kick back in your favorite easy chair (making sure not to disrupt what I am sure is nothing short of an architectural marvel of cheap beer cans), and reminisce with me about the recently ended season. But before I get going, a thought.
Slate has already mentioned it in this space before, but I would again like to post in this space how truly terrible I feel for Colt McCoy. To go down in the beginning minutes of your ultimate game (dual meanings emphasized) is nothing short of sickening, in a la-vita-e-bella kind of way. You really feel for the kid, who by all accounts was dying to get back in the game (as we have come to expect in football), especially when the post-game interview with Sr. McCoy procudes tear-jerkers like this (H/T Bruce Feldman's mailbag. Since it's ESPN Insider, I can't link it, but I do want to just lift a direct quote from Mr. McCoy)
"He looked up at me and said, 'Dad, I had 'em. I had 'em. I knew everything they were doing before they did it. I was fixin' to complete every pass I was going to throw tonight...[w]hy'd this have to happen?'"
I'm not a father yet (or that I know of...), but apparently the days of your son asking you why something happened the way it did, much like a seven year old asks why beloved pet Spike won't be coming home from the vet, never ends.
Having gotten that off of my chest, it's time to delve into what the title speaks: highlights and lowlights from the year gone by. This will take two parts, so I think I'll split them into two columns: best and worst of the year. This one shall be entitled "Best".
Best Player - This has nothing to do with the H---man vote, though I do think it would help to at least mention it. I would posit, as I have previously, that Ndamukong Suh was far and away the best player in college football, though. 82 tackles credited, 47 of them solo, and 12 sacks for his position is simply incredible. We will really never know if it was just weak offensive lines he played against, but my guess is that it would have mattered very little. He's going to be an immediate impact player in the NFL, but for now, he must be content to know that he had a stellar year, ended his career at Nebraska on a high note, and although he could have been in a BCS Bowl if the game had been decided properly, he must hold his head high for garnering so much momentum for Nebraska that Slate fears their revival. As we all do, Slate, as we all do.
Best Teams - I actually can't pinpoint a team that was far and away the best this year. There's Alabama, obviously, but given another whack at it, I bet Florida could put them away. Boise State did go undefeated and, might I add, beat the eventual Pac-1o champion in Week One. I would be remiss if I didn't consider the tremendous fortitude that Connecticut showed after the untimely and tragic death of their comrade. As always, Florida is my team and after their performance in the Sugar Bowl leads this writer to wonder, "What if...?". We saw how close Texas was to defeating Alabama without Colt McCoy, holding the "vaunted" Bama offense to just 116 yards in the second half. There were many deserving teams this year, and I opt not to pick one, but note that those teams, I feel, were noteworthy.
Best Foils - The Big Ten and Lane Kiffin (tie). I must admit, I had a great time picking on the Big Ten this year, and they actually did decently enough. Ohio State played Oregon extremely well (a game I was nearly positive Oregon would win) and Terrelle Pryor made some great progress this year. He needs to continue improving next year, but the fact that strides were made after the playbook was simplified shows that a) he's living up to some of the hype that he once had and b) that he's still a ways from being a really elite option. Take heart, Jeff the Commenter. Your team looks, on paper, like a real contender for the MNC of this upcoming season.
I also don't need to go into great detail about Kiffin because I hate wasting precious energy on that cretin, but he has made it fun, and occasionally tiring, to hate Tennessee. His assistants are already bolting on him (in particular, Eddie Gran--though now at FSU--will probably follow Tuberville to TTech and Petey Pie Carroll will probably poach Coach O and his Hummer). It will be fun to have some great meaning again behind beatdowns of the ones donning the Prison Work Release Orange.
Most Entertaining Non-Bowl Games - Boise/Oregon (Wk 1), Alabama/TN (Week 8), Iowa's Comeback Kid Victories (lots of Weeks), Stanford/Oregon (Week 10), LSU/Mississippi (Week 12), The Iron Bowl (Week 13), Big XII Championship
Most Entertaining Bowl Game - Roady's Humanitarian (Bowling Green/Idaho---seriously!) Favorite moment was when Idaho coach Robb Akey (an Iroquois favorite) told people to tune into the second half while staring into the camera with his Stan Van Gundy-esque raspy voice. If anyone has that video, I'd like to see it. Classic. While FreshSportsDaily seems to think the media is pressing for a feel-good story so they jump on the Akey bandwagon, as a non-media member, I can tell you as just an average football fan, I enjoy the hell out of Robb Akey and would not be surprised to see this guy getting looks for a higher profile gig in a couple of years.
Best Demise - Southern California. The spectre of Reggie Bush, O.J. Mayo, and one of the shadiest ADs in college football may decimate that program if the NCAA has its way. Wait, what am I saying? SoCal is a golden calf. It probably won't get sacrificed, but it is difficult to say that nothing will happen to them, especially given that the Reggie Bush trial for breach of contract to his agent is moving forward. Pete Carroll leaving would have to be crushing news, I think. If Carroll gets called as a witness in this trial and knows anything at all about Bush's sweetened pots, he no longer has to defend his employer, given that he and AD Mike Garrett are not on the best of terms. Reports say that Pete, much like former Men's BB HC Tim Floyd, felt abandoned by Garrett when times got tough. Jim Alexander chimes in with similar sentiment.
I think that will do, for now. If I think of any miscellany that I want added in, I will throw it in with the second part.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Final Word for College Football Season 140 Part 1
by Slate Quicksilver
Folks, it's over. Time to put the grill in storage, place the face paint back under the kitchen sink and it's time to begin to wait for 8 months to pass. College football season is over. No more ramblings by Verne Lundquist, no more spittle ejections by Lou Holtz, no more destruction of the TV football format by FOX. Now we get to settle in for a few weeks of over-exposure of recruiting wars, followed by the total over analysis of recruiting classes. Then we'll see the spring games and over hype the fact that some fan bases are more excited than others solely because more of them went to their spring game than their rivals. But after that, we're devoid of any and all college football until July, when NCAA11 comes out so that we can complain about how "they got it wrong" on X team's defense or Y player on Z team is "wayyyyyyy overrated". Finally, in August, we'll get excited when we hear about depth charts being filled and schedules being over-emphasized.
September 4th. That's what we're waiting for. The only truly good news about the off-season is the Fulmer Cup on Everyday Should be Saturday wherein point are awarded to schools for arrests. A genius thing and entertaining. (PLS's preseason pick: Washington State).
So, here we go with the final word for college football, season 140, broken into a conference-by-conference capsule that will require 2 parts:
ACC:
The ACC, of all of the BCS conferences, is at a crossroads... though some may half disagree. On one hand we have seen Georgia Tech surge back to relevance, but also we've seen Florida State fade to black. Virginia Tech, as always, is going to be a favorite. The Hokies, in fact, have been in several top 10s for next year... even though those polls are as much of guess as anything. Elsewhere, Clemson proved to be solid under Dabo Sweeney although we'll see how they do when CJ Spiller bolts. Miami was a warzone-esque field away from a 10 win season and North Carolina is both up and down... up in that their defense is solid, down in that their offense was absent for several games this past season. Virginia, Boston College and Wake Forest both took steps backward, while North Carolina State made an about face and ran full sprint in the wrong direction. Lastly we come to Duke, who won 5 games, which for them is like winning 15 games anywhere else.
All in all, the conference is just kind of floating in the netherworld not going in a stronger or weaker position. We will have to see how Florida State recovers. We will also have to see if the trend of Georgia Tech getting blasted in their bowl game means anything.
BigXII:
In the south, Texas, in this one's opinion, is going to be the strong favorite in the Big12 next year. Oklahoma was certainly down this year, but it would be foolish to think they won't win 10 games next year. Oklahoma State was a disappointment this year in many respects, but 9 wins is hard to complain about. Texas Tech is probably going to enter a tailspin for obvious reasons while Texas A&M surprised many by actually being in a bowl game. Baylor did it's usual Baylor thing, but losing their everything-back in the first game of the season didn't help.
In the north, America as a whole must once again fear a powerful Nebraska team. The state of Kansas looks to have returned back to mediocrity and so has Missouri. Iowa State exceeded everyone's expectations by not going to a bowl game, but also winning it. Colorado is, without a doubt, a hopeless shipwreck of terrible proportions.
A powerful Nebraska team is as scary as even the most terrifying of birds: Cockatoos
Looking forward the BigXII looks to have Texas and Oklahoma do their usual fight for the south while Nebraska has re-acquired a nuclear powered defense and will own the north for quite a while. The BigXII, this past year, was a bit down thanks to losing Oklahoma. A powerful offense with a lack of defense was par for the course and only Texas, with a nasty defense, was the exception. Will we see BigXII defenses get better next year? For their conference's sake, they better hope so. As a result it should always be asked, are the offenses just that good or are the defenses that bad?
Big East:
This conference probably took the farthest leaps forward of any of the BCS conferences. Cincinnati is a power (despite their absence at the Sugar Bowl), Pittsburgh is respectable (yes I know what was just mentioned) and Connecticut and West Virginia are teams that are not to be messed with. South Florida and Rutgers showed life at times, though USF will be moving on at head coach for some reason. Syracuse improved, in a technical sense, but the Greg Paulus experience was not a fun one. Louisville, was vomit inducingly bad, and we wish Charlie Strong an infinite supply of good luck... it may not be enough.
The Big East is OK now, and if they stay OK if beyond anyone's guess. I vote that it will stay for a few years, until the BigTen pilfers Cincy of Pitt away from them.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's finale to this scintillating final word (no we won't be talking about the non-BCS schools).
Folks, it's over. Time to put the grill in storage, place the face paint back under the kitchen sink and it's time to begin to wait for 8 months to pass. College football season is over. No more ramblings by Verne Lundquist, no more spittle ejections by Lou Holtz, no more destruction of the TV football format by FOX. Now we get to settle in for a few weeks of over-exposure of recruiting wars, followed by the total over analysis of recruiting classes. Then we'll see the spring games and over hype the fact that some fan bases are more excited than others solely because more of them went to their spring game than their rivals. But after that, we're devoid of any and all college football until July, when NCAA11 comes out so that we can complain about how "they got it wrong" on X team's defense or Y player on Z team is "wayyyyyyy overrated". Finally, in August, we'll get excited when we hear about depth charts being filled and schedules being over-emphasized.
September 4th. That's what we're waiting for. The only truly good news about the off-season is the Fulmer Cup on Everyday Should be Saturday wherein point are awarded to schools for arrests. A genius thing and entertaining. (PLS's preseason pick: Washington State).
So, here we go with the final word for college football, season 140, broken into a conference-by-conference capsule that will require 2 parts:
ACC:
The ACC, of all of the BCS conferences, is at a crossroads... though some may half disagree. On one hand we have seen Georgia Tech surge back to relevance, but also we've seen Florida State fade to black. Virginia Tech, as always, is going to be a favorite. The Hokies, in fact, have been in several top 10s for next year... even though those polls are as much of guess as anything. Elsewhere, Clemson proved to be solid under Dabo Sweeney although we'll see how they do when CJ Spiller bolts. Miami was a warzone-esque field away from a 10 win season and North Carolina is both up and down... up in that their defense is solid, down in that their offense was absent for several games this past season. Virginia, Boston College and Wake Forest both took steps backward, while North Carolina State made an about face and ran full sprint in the wrong direction. Lastly we come to Duke, who won 5 games, which for them is like winning 15 games anywhere else.
All in all, the conference is just kind of floating in the netherworld not going in a stronger or weaker position. We will have to see how Florida State recovers. We will also have to see if the trend of Georgia Tech getting blasted in their bowl game means anything.
BigXII:
In the south, Texas, in this one's opinion, is going to be the strong favorite in the Big12 next year. Oklahoma was certainly down this year, but it would be foolish to think they won't win 10 games next year. Oklahoma State was a disappointment this year in many respects, but 9 wins is hard to complain about. Texas Tech is probably going to enter a tailspin for obvious reasons while Texas A&M surprised many by actually being in a bowl game. Baylor did it's usual Baylor thing, but losing their everything-back in the first game of the season didn't help.
In the north, America as a whole must once again fear a powerful Nebraska team. The state of Kansas looks to have returned back to mediocrity and so has Missouri. Iowa State exceeded everyone's expectations by not going to a bowl game, but also winning it. Colorado is, without a doubt, a hopeless shipwreck of terrible proportions.
A powerful Nebraska team is as scary as even the most terrifying of birds: Cockatoos
Looking forward the BigXII looks to have Texas and Oklahoma do their usual fight for the south while Nebraska has re-acquired a nuclear powered defense and will own the north for quite a while. The BigXII, this past year, was a bit down thanks to losing Oklahoma. A powerful offense with a lack of defense was par for the course and only Texas, with a nasty defense, was the exception. Will we see BigXII defenses get better next year? For their conference's sake, they better hope so. As a result it should always be asked, are the offenses just that good or are the defenses that bad?
Big East:
This conference probably took the farthest leaps forward of any of the BCS conferences. Cincinnati is a power (despite their absence at the Sugar Bowl), Pittsburgh is respectable (yes I know what was just mentioned) and Connecticut and West Virginia are teams that are not to be messed with. South Florida and Rutgers showed life at times, though USF will be moving on at head coach for some reason. Syracuse improved, in a technical sense, but the Greg Paulus experience was not a fun one. Louisville, was vomit inducingly bad, and we wish Charlie Strong an infinite supply of good luck... it may not be enough.
The Big East is OK now, and if they stay OK if beyond anyone's guess. I vote that it will stay for a few years, until the BigTen pilfers Cincy of Pitt away from them.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's finale to this scintillating final word (no we won't be talking about the non-BCS schools).
Friday, January 8, 2010
On last night...
Well folks, it's over. ESPN has already started its over-analysis covering every single play over and over again (that drop by Texas on play #43 was HUGE). Herbstreit has already given out his PRE-pre-preseason top 5 (Bama/Ohio State(ha!)/Oklahoma/Iowa(HAHA!)/Virginia Tech(proof Herbie didn't take this too seriously)). Coaches are being fired (Jim Leavitt from USF), coaches are still fighting being fired (Mike Leach), coaches may or may not be on their paid leave (Urban Meyer OMGHESLEAVINGFORTHENFLGAYTURDSWOOGEAUXTIGERS) and there is even a report of the NFL opening its doors back up for a fallen angel (Pete Carroll).
But let's look at last night's game as it was. A game was about to get out of hand until Texas's backup freshman pants-wetting QB remembered that physics still applied regardless of how good Bama's defense was. That onside kick, frankly, was brilliantly executed and save for that miserable shovel pass and that murderous fumble, Texas made this game an entertaining event. Alabama was almost always one step away from completely shattering the game and at one point was in danger losing it.
The cold black hearts here at PLS feel for Colt McCoy. That really really really sucks for him. He finally had a shot at the national championship and 5 plays in he was done. That was a shame. Interviewing him after the game was terrible journalism, like when Roy Williams was interviewed after losing the national championship game and being asked if he was leaving Kansas. ESPN continued the over-analysis of that by getting Mel Kiper to say that McCoy fell from the second round to the 4th-5th round just because he missed this game. This is more proof that Mel Kiper is now only half draft analysis half talking head devoid of substance. Soon he will be Mark May with better hair.
So congrats to Alabama. Enjoy the target on your back next year.
But let's look at last night's game as it was. A game was about to get out of hand until Texas's backup freshman pants-wetting QB remembered that physics still applied regardless of how good Bama's defense was. That onside kick, frankly, was brilliantly executed and save for that miserable shovel pass and that murderous fumble, Texas made this game an entertaining event. Alabama was almost always one step away from completely shattering the game and at one point was in danger losing it.
The cold black hearts here at PLS feel for Colt McCoy. That really really really sucks for him. He finally had a shot at the national championship and 5 plays in he was done. That was a shame. Interviewing him after the game was terrible journalism, like when Roy Williams was interviewed after losing the national championship game and being asked if he was leaving Kansas. ESPN continued the over-analysis of that by getting Mel Kiper to say that McCoy fell from the second round to the 4th-5th round just because he missed this game. This is more proof that Mel Kiper is now only half draft analysis half talking head devoid of substance. Soon he will be Mark May with better hair.
So congrats to Alabama. Enjoy the target on your back next year.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Why the BCS Game Will Not Stand for "Bama Championship Smackdown"
by Slate Quicksilver
Iroquois did a solid job telling you why Alabama should win the game. I am inclined to agree, as I predict a blasting of Texas into the Stone Age. But allow me to play the devil's advocate and tell you why Texas could win the game.
Reason #1: The Texas Defense
The Longhorns have a defense that is certainly stout. Stout even in normal terms, not just in BigXII terms. BigXII defensive stoutness in 2008 was a synonym for "Jello." This defense doesn't fit that mold (ba-da CHING!) and in fact is pretty damn good. This is thanked largely in part to defensive coordinator Will Muschamp getting a second year with this defense. Although they lost sackmaster Brian Orakpo to the draft, the defense was still fearsome and forced turnover after turnover.
Muschamp getting the D to improve as rapidly as it did is thanks to his intense style of play, intense style of coaching and intense style of everything (full disclosure: only one was not involving Muschamp). He is getting better recruits and better play from the current players and that is a scary thought. The BigXII with actual defenses would be like a nuclear Iran, it is a danger to everyone else in their area. The Texas D will also be helped by the lack of an Alabama offense. All it has become is a series of and passes to Mark Ingram followed by the ever present drag route from Julio Jones and the rare throw deep to X receiver. That's really it.
Oh, and remember that Auburn beat Alabama in 2006 and 2007: the two years Muschamp was the D-Coordinator at Auburn and before that he was Nick Saban's DC at LSU and in the NFL with the Dolphins.
Consider your mind M-F-ing blown.
Reason #2: Texas could totally invade Alabama and win
Notable "historians" and military enthusiasts have always wondered, if all of the states fought each other, who would win? "Always" meaning "since college football started" because let's face it; maybe your rival beat you, but seeing as how they are from Indiana and you are from California, you can always rest assured that if the shit went down between those two states, California would reach Indianapolis in 2 days, tops, and plant the Bear flag on the steps of their Capitol building and have everyone listening to Sublime within a fortnight.
This is not at all about the military, this is about the populations of the states, defensive terrain and the pre-conceived knowledge about the people fighting. It is also important to note that the state with a larger population always invades the less populated state. Example: New Jersey is small and hard to defend, yet those people are all packing and are in fact, not even human at all. Pennsylvania could ostensibly attack New Jersey, but consider that PA only has 4 million more people than NJ and consider the Amish, old people and just general "white as milk" population in the rural areas. It would come down to the Philly reserves and Pittsburgh Steel workers to take Newark and I wouldn't put any money on it.
So we come to Texas vs. Alabama. Texas has a 20 million person advantage in population. Alabama is mostly flat land, but has it's share of rivers and swampland. Alabama's populace cannot be underestimated in a brawl for any number of reasons but the people from Texas are, well, people from Texas.
Texas, if they were to invade Alabama, would send the McCoy flank to take Mobile and the Norris Flank to take Huntsville in a matter of hours. From there a pincer like maneuver would take place sending the McCoy flank sweeping through the southern flat lands and the Norris flank through the northern hills while the bulk of the Texans lead by Mack Brown would charge through Tuscaloosa and Birmingham until it swept south to link up with the McCoy contingent in Montgomery. The Jordan Shipley brigade will split wide north with the McCoy flank to secure the interior lowlands. Montgomery would fight hard, but would fall after 2 days of fighting, maybe. All deserters and enemies would be subjected to the electric chair, seeing as how that's what Texans do for a hot time on weekend evenings during the football off-season.
Pincer like military maneuvers are very effective in flat to slightly hilly terrain, making Alabama a perfect place for Texas to perform one.
More than likely, Talladega would be the last stand for the Alabamians. Most treasured possessions are usually the last things to fall. Estimated time of full victory at Talladega: 3 years. That's because Vince Young will be leading that charge and, as we all know, it takes Vince Young 3 years to finally get "it" right. "It" includes, but is not limited to, College Football, NFL football, life, friendships and dog training.
Only one of these things is actually relevant to the game but I'll leave up to you, the dear reader, to figure that out.
Basically Texas needs a low scoring game.
Nebraska wrote the recipe for knocking Texas on their asses, but you can't completely shut them down. Texas will put up points, but will Alabama? Texas will put up at least 13 points. The question is: "How many points will Alabama score?" A shootout leads to an Alabama victory solely on the Tide's powerful defense which will eventually put the Longhorn defense in snooze mode, so a low scoring defensive puntfest is what Texas wants. Oddly enough, that's what Nick Saban probably wants as well. Texas can win, but they can't let it be a shootout.
So there you have, folks. College football = over. How sad. We will mourn the loss of the season in the coming days with wrapups, eulogies and other types of recognition. We will be reordering the schedule shortly and maybe even adding a new contributor(!) thus giving you more content to scrutinize and yell about. The 2010 college football season won't being until (probably) September 4th... nearly 8 long months away. So enjoy the game tonight!
Iroquois did a solid job telling you why Alabama should win the game. I am inclined to agree, as I predict a blasting of Texas into the Stone Age. But allow me to play the devil's advocate and tell you why Texas could win the game.
Reason #1: The Texas Defense
The Longhorns have a defense that is certainly stout. Stout even in normal terms, not just in BigXII terms. BigXII defensive stoutness in 2008 was a synonym for "Jello." This defense doesn't fit that mold (ba-da CHING!) and in fact is pretty damn good. This is thanked largely in part to defensive coordinator Will Muschamp getting a second year with this defense. Although they lost sackmaster Brian Orakpo to the draft, the defense was still fearsome and forced turnover after turnover.
Muschamp getting the D to improve as rapidly as it did is thanks to his intense style of play, intense style of coaching and intense style of everything (full disclosure: only one was not involving Muschamp). He is getting better recruits and better play from the current players and that is a scary thought. The BigXII with actual defenses would be like a nuclear Iran, it is a danger to everyone else in their area. The Texas D will also be helped by the lack of an Alabama offense. All it has become is a series of and passes to Mark Ingram followed by the ever present drag route from Julio Jones and the rare throw deep to X receiver. That's really it.
Oh, and remember that Auburn beat Alabama in 2006 and 2007: the two years Muschamp was the D-Coordinator at Auburn and before that he was Nick Saban's DC at LSU and in the NFL with the Dolphins.
Consider your mind M-F-ing blown.
Reason #2: Texas could totally invade Alabama and win
Notable "historians" and military enthusiasts have always wondered, if all of the states fought each other, who would win? "Always" meaning "since college football started" because let's face it; maybe your rival beat you, but seeing as how they are from Indiana and you are from California, you can always rest assured that if the shit went down between those two states, California would reach Indianapolis in 2 days, tops, and plant the Bear flag on the steps of their Capitol building and have everyone listening to Sublime within a fortnight.
This is not at all about the military, this is about the populations of the states, defensive terrain and the pre-conceived knowledge about the people fighting. It is also important to note that the state with a larger population always invades the less populated state. Example: New Jersey is small and hard to defend, yet those people are all packing and are in fact, not even human at all. Pennsylvania could ostensibly attack New Jersey, but consider that PA only has 4 million more people than NJ and consider the Amish, old people and just general "white as milk" population in the rural areas. It would come down to the Philly reserves and Pittsburgh Steel workers to take Newark and I wouldn't put any money on it.
So we come to Texas vs. Alabama. Texas has a 20 million person advantage in population. Alabama is mostly flat land, but has it's share of rivers and swampland. Alabama's populace cannot be underestimated in a brawl for any number of reasons but the people from Texas are, well, people from Texas.
Texas, if they were to invade Alabama, would send the McCoy flank to take Mobile and the Norris Flank to take Huntsville in a matter of hours. From there a pincer like maneuver would take place sending the McCoy flank sweeping through the southern flat lands and the Norris flank through the northern hills while the bulk of the Texans lead by Mack Brown would charge through Tuscaloosa and Birmingham until it swept south to link up with the McCoy contingent in Montgomery. The Jordan Shipley brigade will split wide north with the McCoy flank to secure the interior lowlands. Montgomery would fight hard, but would fall after 2 days of fighting, maybe. All deserters and enemies would be subjected to the electric chair, seeing as how that's what Texans do for a hot time on weekend evenings during the football off-season.
Pincer like military maneuvers are very effective in flat to slightly hilly terrain, making Alabama a perfect place for Texas to perform one.
More than likely, Talladega would be the last stand for the Alabamians. Most treasured possessions are usually the last things to fall. Estimated time of full victory at Talladega: 3 years. That's because Vince Young will be leading that charge and, as we all know, it takes Vince Young 3 years to finally get "it" right. "It" includes, but is not limited to, College Football, NFL football, life, friendships and dog training.
Only one of these things is actually relevant to the game but I'll leave up to you, the dear reader, to figure that out.
Basically Texas needs a low scoring game.
Nebraska wrote the recipe for knocking Texas on their asses, but you can't completely shut them down. Texas will put up points, but will Alabama? Texas will put up at least 13 points. The question is: "How many points will Alabama score?" A shootout leads to an Alabama victory solely on the Tide's powerful defense which will eventually put the Longhorn defense in snooze mode, so a low scoring defensive puntfest is what Texas wants. Oddly enough, that's what Nick Saban probably wants as well. Texas can win, but they can't let it be a shootout.
So there you have, folks. College football = over. How sad. We will mourn the loss of the season in the coming days with wrapups, eulogies and other types of recognition. We will be reordering the schedule shortly and maybe even adding a new contributor(!) thus giving you more content to scrutinize and yell about. The 2010 college football season won't being until (probably) September 4th... nearly 8 long months away. So enjoy the game tonight!
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