ESPN, namely sportscenter and Baseball Tonight, has taken the appropriate amount of time for baseball to breathe (8 days) and is now ready for next season to begin. Obviously, ESPN took the market of "downtime" between seasons in a sport and is now exploiting it because there is a slight market for it. This is nothing new. NFL Live started rolling year round not last year, but in the 2007 offseason. Who, you may ask, is going to watch NFL Live in early June? Though I don't have an answer for this, I know there must be someone simply because ESPN continued/continues to show these shows even when the anchor/reporters have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to talk about. The only logical answer is that ESPN has a contract to show these sports even in their down times, but logic usual defies even itself at the world wide leader.
Anyway, PLS has talked to some baseball sources and has a few predictions for the offseason.
Jermaine Dye is sick of everything in the southside of Chicago, so he's going to either Boston or St. Louis
Matt Holliday is too expensive for St. Louis, so you just know he is going to a big spender. Holliday will be playing for the Cubs next year... because that's how irony works.
John Lackey is the only pitcher worth a damn this year, so he'll go to... spins a wheel... the Montgomery Biscuits.
Adrian Gonzalez is sooooo gone with respect to San Diego. So gone, in fact, that he is quitting baseball to open a candy store in La Cruces, New Mexico.
The Florida Marlins, sick of having to pay players such vast wages as "1,000,000" dollars to legitimate players who deserve far more on a real market, say "fuck it" and outsource their team to India except Hanley Ramirez. They will become the Bangalore Cows and finish 4 games above .500 and 15 games above the Mets.
Speaking of the Mets, who were devastated by this past World Series happening (they get to hear it from Yankees and Phillies fans), finally crack and spend 8 billion dollars to develop a time machine, go back to the 1927, and steal the '27 New York Yankees Murderer's Row team which some consider is the best team of all. They will finish 74-88 due to a less than stellar bullpen and injuries.
Showing posts with label Base ball?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Base ball?. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Yankees-Angels ALCS
by Slate Quicksilver
We hear at PLS make no bones about it. We would love nothing more than for Alex Rodriguez to step out of new Yankee Stadium, take a nice deep breath and maybe a good stretch, walk three steps and get hit by a piano dropped from 33,000 feet by a Southwest airlines flight (first bag is free, bitches!). Steroids aside, Captain Boli is as arrogant and purblind as they come. We did not read Selena Roberts slambook (all it was missing was stickers and a sign drawn in with a pink marker "STAY OUT!!!"), but we didn't need to. All of the juicy details were told on the TeeVee or on the various tubes of the internetz. "Who's hotter: Me or Jeter?" was probably my favorite, though him getting really pissed about his teammates calling him "Bitch Tits" is a close second. After growing up playing several team sports, I learned early that teammates will be relentless no matter what even if they are your friend, but I guess the lessons of a kid who writes a blog doesn't correlate to a guy who will make more in one year than 1,000 Americans below the poverty line will make in 2 years.
All of that aside, we really need to point something out that the media and Yankee empire is missing. Yes, A-Rod sucked copious amounts of penis the last few playoff runs for the Bronx Bombers. 2005: .133/0/0... 2006: .071/0/0... 2007: .267/1/1. We can agree that is terrible despite the fact that he played 5, 4 and 4 games respectively in of those years. The media ran with this like it was Watergate for baseball. "It doesn't matter what he does in the regular season, it's what he does in the playoffs!," "He is terrible and not worth it!," "It's like he doesn't care or try!!!!" Those are all quotes I read online from writers or message board posters. Let's isolate that last one; He doesn't try or care? OHHH... right... I forgot the time A-Rod showed up to a playoff game late and he even forgot his glove because he was at IKEA until Johnny Damon called his cell after the middle of the 2nd inning.
Now A-Roid is hitting .455 (IN THREE GAMES!!!!!) with 2 HRs and 6 RBIs. Apparently he has saved himself and saved the Yankees from potentially having to play the Twins a dreadful second time in Minneapolis. (The Twins, by the way, had a record of 0 and 10 versus the Yanks this year. Ouch.) But let's look at Captain Boli pre-Yankee era: 1997: .313/1/1... 2000 .371/2/7... 2004 .320/3/8! Wait a second... 2004 he was with the Yankees! Maybe, he isn't completely terrible in the playoffs and maybe if the Yanks didn't lose in the first round like they did the last three times (coincedentally the last three times were the times he gained his terrible playoff player status), it wouldn't be like that.
That being said, A-Rod still sucks.
What an A-Hole. Pinky up, sir!
The series versus the Angels is interesting for several reasons. Most interesting of which is the pitching matchups. The Yankees spent 15% of the world's total GNP on their pitching staff this offseason. The Angels did not. John Lackey goes game 1 for the Halos against CC Sabathia. Not a shocker there. But game 2 is Joe Saunders versus AJ Burnett is puzzling. Andy Pettitte's playoff aura is built around him being a stopper. He is golden in games coming off of his team losing. AJ Burnett has never pitched in the playoffs before this year. He was there once in 2003 (beating the Yankees as a Marlin... ROTFLZORZ) but was in a pressurized arm cast due to Tommy John Surgery. Joe Saunders in more puzzling because he is a noted first half pitcher. He started with a 3.26 ERA after May and ended with a 4.60 ERA and touched 5.27 in late August. Yes, Saunders was 16-7, but with that kind of run support, I could have gone at least 10-13. This is more confusing because noted Yankee killer Scott Kazmir is on the Angels. Kazmir made his career tormenting the Yankees in Tampa. The Angels very well could go back to Anaheim down 2-0 rather than 1-1. Both bullpens are solid, but the advantage goes to the Yankees. Hitting is a push.
Prediction: Yankees in 7.
We hear at PLS make no bones about it. We would love nothing more than for Alex Rodriguez to step out of new Yankee Stadium, take a nice deep breath and maybe a good stretch, walk three steps and get hit by a piano dropped from 33,000 feet by a Southwest airlines flight (first bag is free, bitches!). Steroids aside, Captain Boli is as arrogant and purblind as they come. We did not read Selena Roberts slambook (all it was missing was stickers and a sign drawn in with a pink marker "STAY OUT!!!"), but we didn't need to. All of the juicy details were told on the TeeVee or on the various tubes of the internetz. "Who's hotter: Me or Jeter?" was probably my favorite, though him getting really pissed about his teammates calling him "Bitch Tits" is a close second. After growing up playing several team sports, I learned early that teammates will be relentless no matter what even if they are your friend, but I guess the lessons of a kid who writes a blog doesn't correlate to a guy who will make more in one year than 1,000 Americans below the poverty line will make in 2 years.
All of that aside, we really need to point something out that the media and Yankee empire is missing. Yes, A-Rod sucked copious amounts of penis the last few playoff runs for the Bronx Bombers. 2005: .133/0/0... 2006: .071/0/0... 2007: .267/1/1. We can agree that is terrible despite the fact that he played 5, 4 and 4 games respectively in of those years. The media ran with this like it was Watergate for baseball. "It doesn't matter what he does in the regular season, it's what he does in the playoffs!," "He is terrible and not worth it!," "It's like he doesn't care or try!!!!" Those are all quotes I read online from writers or message board posters. Let's isolate that last one; He doesn't try or care? OHHH... right... I forgot the time A-Rod showed up to a playoff game late and he even forgot his glove because he was at IKEA until Johnny Damon called his cell after the middle of the 2nd inning.
Now A-Roid is hitting .455 (IN THREE GAMES!!!!!) with 2 HRs and 6 RBIs. Apparently he has saved himself and saved the Yankees from potentially having to play the Twins a dreadful second time in Minneapolis. (The Twins, by the way, had a record of 0 and 10 versus the Yanks this year. Ouch.) But let's look at Captain Boli pre-Yankee era: 1997: .313/1/1... 2000 .371/2/7... 2004 .320/3/8! Wait a second... 2004 he was with the Yankees! Maybe, he isn't completely terrible in the playoffs and maybe if the Yanks didn't lose in the first round like they did the last three times (coincedentally the last three times were the times he gained his terrible playoff player status), it wouldn't be like that.
That being said, A-Rod still sucks.
What an A-Hole. Pinky up, sir!
The series versus the Angels is interesting for several reasons. Most interesting of which is the pitching matchups. The Yankees spent 15% of the world's total GNP on their pitching staff this offseason. The Angels did not. John Lackey goes game 1 for the Halos against CC Sabathia. Not a shocker there. But game 2 is Joe Saunders versus AJ Burnett is puzzling. Andy Pettitte's playoff aura is built around him being a stopper. He is golden in games coming off of his team losing. AJ Burnett has never pitched in the playoffs before this year. He was there once in 2003 (beating the Yankees as a Marlin... ROTFLZORZ) but was in a pressurized arm cast due to Tommy John Surgery. Joe Saunders in more puzzling because he is a noted first half pitcher. He started with a 3.26 ERA after May and ended with a 4.60 ERA and touched 5.27 in late August. Yes, Saunders was 16-7, but with that kind of run support, I could have gone at least 10-13. This is more confusing because noted Yankee killer Scott Kazmir is on the Angels. Kazmir made his career tormenting the Yankees in Tampa. The Angels very well could go back to Anaheim down 2-0 rather than 1-1. Both bullpens are solid, but the advantage goes to the Yankees. Hitting is a push.
Prediction: Yankees in 7.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Championship Seriesesez's
by Slate Quicksilver
Apparently baseball is still going on according to several sources. Last night the Phillies knocked out the Rockies in Game 4 of the NLCS. Huston Street forgot that throwing strikes was an option instead of throwing balls and hitting the opponents bat with considerable force and the Phils put up 3 in the top of the ninth just after the Rock Pile put up 3 in the bottom in the 8th. Brad Lidge came in an nailed down the save becoming the first pitcher ever to pitch while covering his eyes. If you had Brad Lidge's season and were still the closer in the playoffs, you would cover your eyes too.
We have the Angels and Yankees in the AL and the Phillies and Dodgers in the NL. This season will not feature a low budget team in the playoffs since 2004 thus finally proving that spending in the top 10 in terms of team salaries is the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR!!! The low budget LOSERS (Twins and Rockies) got bumped, the mid-level priced losers (the Cards) got swept and the high price sore losers (Red Sox) got swept out.
Boston, as a city, is smoldering in ruins and self-loathing. After blowing a huge lead to get knocked out of the playoffs almost at the same time that their football team lost an overtime game to a former asst. coach/acolyte, the city of Boston is still coping with being an almost not completely amazing and perfect sports town.
"Bottomline is we haven't won anything since the Celtics two years ago."
--barstoolsports.com
If that isn't sports arrogance and hubris in its most pure form, I don't know what is.
Anyway, we will get you previews for both matchups tomorrow. In the meantime, bask in the dark eerie glow of that supreme douchiocity and continue to pray that Boston will flood ASAP to return to being the swamp it was when the Puritans landed there. John Wintrop, Puritan leader and the first governor of Massachusetts once called Boston the "City on a Hill", to signify that perhaps Boston had a contract with God. After reading that quote, and Drew Magary's summation of the aftermath on deadspin.com, clearly God nullifed that contract and now locusts and frogs will rain from the sky for ever and ever. Boston, hide your first born children. Boston fans deserve for all of their teams to revert back to 2000 when they all sucked. The Patriots were 5-11, the Bruins had the 3rd worst record in the NHL, the Red Sox were barely over .500 and the Celtics missed the NBA playoffs by 8 games.
Plus, didn't the Celts win the NBA title in 2008?
Apparently baseball is still going on according to several sources. Last night the Phillies knocked out the Rockies in Game 4 of the NLCS. Huston Street forgot that throwing strikes was an option instead of throwing balls and hitting the opponents bat with considerable force and the Phils put up 3 in the top of the ninth just after the Rock Pile put up 3 in the bottom in the 8th. Brad Lidge came in an nailed down the save becoming the first pitcher ever to pitch while covering his eyes. If you had Brad Lidge's season and were still the closer in the playoffs, you would cover your eyes too.
We have the Angels and Yankees in the AL and the Phillies and Dodgers in the NL. This season will not feature a low budget team in the playoffs since 2004 thus finally proving that spending in the top 10 in terms of team salaries is the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR!!! The low budget LOSERS (Twins and Rockies) got bumped, the mid-level priced losers (the Cards) got swept and the high price sore losers (Red Sox) got swept out.
Boston, as a city, is smoldering in ruins and self-loathing. After blowing a huge lead to get knocked out of the playoffs almost at the same time that their football team lost an overtime game to a former asst. coach/acolyte, the city of Boston is still coping with being an almost not completely amazing and perfect sports town.
"Bottomline is we haven't won anything since the Celtics two years ago."
--barstoolsports.com
If that isn't sports arrogance and hubris in its most pure form, I don't know what is.
Anyway, we will get you previews for both matchups tomorrow. In the meantime, bask in the dark eerie glow of that supreme douchiocity and continue to pray that Boston will flood ASAP to return to being the swamp it was when the Puritans landed there. John Wintrop, Puritan leader and the first governor of Massachusetts once called Boston the "City on a Hill", to signify that perhaps Boston had a contract with God. After reading that quote, and Drew Magary's summation of the aftermath on deadspin.com, clearly God nullifed that contract and now locusts and frogs will rain from the sky for ever and ever. Boston, hide your first born children. Boston fans deserve for all of their teams to revert back to 2000 when they all sucked. The Patriots were 5-11, the Bruins had the 3rd worst record in the NHL, the Red Sox were barely over .500 and the Celtics missed the NBA playoffs by 8 games.
Plus, didn't the Celts win the NBA title in 2008?
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