Baseball Hot Stove Predictions

ESPN, namely sportscenter and Baseball Tonight, has taken the appropriate amount of time for baseball to breathe (8 days) and is now ready for next season to begin. Obviously, ESPN took the market of "downtime" between seasons in a sport and is now exploiting it because there is a slight market for it. This is nothing new. NFL Live started rolling year round not last year, but in the 2007 offseason. Who, you may ask, is going to watch NFL Live in early June? Though I don't have an answer for this, I know there must be someone simply because ESPN continued/continues to show these shows even when the anchor/reporters have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to talk about. The only logical answer is that ESPN has a contract to show these sports even in their down times, but logic usual defies even itself at the world wide leader.

Anyway, PLS has talked to some baseball sources and has a few predictions for the offseason.

Jermaine Dye is sick of everything in the southside of Chicago, so he's going to either Boston or St. Louis

Matt Holliday is too expensive for St. Louis, so you just know he is going to a big spender. Holliday will be playing for the Cubs next year... because that's how irony works.

John Lackey is the only pitcher worth a damn this year, so he'll go to... spins a wheel... the Montgomery Biscuits.

Adrian Gonzalez is sooooo gone with respect to San Diego. So gone, in fact, that he is quitting baseball to open a candy store in La Cruces, New Mexico.

The Florida Marlins, sick of having to pay players such vast wages as "1,000,000" dollars to legitimate players who deserve far more on a real market, say "fuck it" and outsource their team to India except Hanley Ramirez. They will become the Bangalore Cows and finish 4 games above .500 and 15 games above the Mets.

Speaking of the Mets, who were devastated by this past World Series happening (they get to hear it from Yankees and Phillies fans), finally crack and spend 8 billion dollars to develop a time machine, go back to the 1927, and steal the '27 New York Yankees Murderer's Row team which some consider is the best team of all. They will finish 74-88 due to a less than stellar bullpen and injuries.