Championship Seriesesez's

by Slate Quicksilver

Apparently baseball is still going on according to several sources. Last night the Phillies knocked out the Rockies in Game 4 of the NLCS. Huston Street forgot that throwing strikes was an option instead of throwing balls and hitting the opponents bat with considerable force and the Phils put up 3 in the top of the ninth just after the Rock Pile put up 3 in the bottom in the 8th. Brad Lidge came in an nailed down the save becoming the first pitcher ever to pitch while covering his eyes. If you had Brad Lidge's season and were still the closer in the playoffs, you would cover your eyes too.

We have the Angels and Yankees in the AL and the Phillies and Dodgers in the NL. This season will not feature a low budget team in the playoffs since 2004 thus finally proving that spending in the top 10 in terms of team salaries is the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVAR!!! The low budget LOSERS (Twins and Rockies) got bumped, the mid-level priced losers (the Cards) got swept and the high price sore losers (Red Sox) got swept out.

Boston, as a city, is smoldering in ruins and self-loathing. After blowing a huge lead to get knocked out of the playoffs almost at the same time that their football team lost an overtime game to a former asst. coach/acolyte, the city of Boston is still coping with being an almost not completely amazing and perfect sports town.

"Bottomline is we haven't won anything since the Celtics two years ago."
--barstoolsports.com

If that isn't sports arrogance and hubris in its most pure form, I don't know what is.

Anyway, we will get you previews for both matchups tomorrow. In the meantime, bask in the dark eerie glow of that supreme douchiocity and continue to pray that Boston will flood ASAP to return to being the swamp it was when the Puritans landed there. John Wintrop, Puritan leader and the first governor of Massachusetts once called Boston the "City on a Hill", to signify that perhaps Boston had a contract with God. After reading that quote, and Drew Magary's summation of the aftermath on deadspin.com, clearly God nullifed that contract and now locusts and frogs will rain from the sky for ever and ever. Boston, hide your first born children. Boston fans deserve for all of their teams to revert back to 2000 when they all sucked. The Patriots were 5-11, the Bruins had the 3rd worst record in the NHL, the Red Sox were barely over .500 and the Celtics missed the NBA playoffs by 8 games.

Plus, didn't the Celts win the NBA title in 2008?