Good, Bad or Inconsistent?

By Slate Quicksilver

Hello, Folks!

Welcome to a new a weekly game show we'll be doing here at Potluck Sports. I am your host, Slate Quicksilver, and this is Good, Bad or Inconsistent? Every week our crack team of researchers and statisticians who all are graduates from Ivy League Schools, except Tag... he went to NYU. Don't worry, we rag on him constantly. Better luck next time, Tag. Maybe for your PhD, you'll at least apply to Brown. You don't even have to be a legacy to get in there! (pause of for laughter)

Anyway, our researchers and statisticians will look at all sports, look at one sport in particular each week and then figure out if certain teams are: Good, Bad or Inconsistent!

So, with that being said let's play Good, Bad or Inconsistent!

This week's sport: College Football!

Contestant #1, Washington, are you ready?

In 2008, Washington was terrible. Absolutely terrible. After nearing knocking off BYU, save for a mammothly stupid referee call on Jake Locker showing something called "joy", and then the following injury to said gentleman, Washington got their doors blown in week in and week out for the rest of the season. Ty Willingham patrolled the sidelines looking for anyone showing signed of being alive just so he could send them in to get slaughtered by bayonet charge after bayonet charge from their opponents. Finally the Apple Cup rolled around when they got to play Washington State in a miserable pity party of a game. In the end WSU won, but only because they cried the hardest.

In 2009, Washington is the toast of the nation. After losing a game that the universe thought they would lose by 80 to LSU only by 8, the Huskies beat Idaho. But then they propelled themselves into the "OMG THEY'RE BACK!" category by beating USC at home. Washington made USC look silly on offense. USC went 0 for 10 on third down, and Washington moved the ball when they had to against a Trojan defense that was supposed to be terrifying.

After conferring with each other, several stats programs, a historical college football almanac and a magic 8 ball, our team is back with the results.

So, Washington, are you Good, Bad or Inconsistent?

Washington you are: Good!

Washington was an abomination last year. It was quite obvious they quit on their coach halfway through the season. During the last game of the season against California, Washington let hyperback Jahvid Best run for 311 yards on them, occasionally stopping mid run to kiss babies in strollers and do his taxes in the backfield. But with a reasonable amount of the same cast and crew on the field for Washington, they look renewed. LSU is a solid team, losing to them close was not a bad thing for their psyche. Being Idaho and ending the nation's longest losing streak must have been great. Beating the cocky USC team that thought it could win the game without leaving the bus must have been like winning the lottery. Next week UW plays at Stanford and then goes to Notre Dame to play their Swiss cheese defense. Washington won't win the Pac10, but they will win 8 or 9 games this year and due to mathematics, that is an 8 or 9 game turnaround.


Contestant #2, Florida State, are you ready?

Florida State in the past few years has fallen victim to senile old coach syndrome. Like Penn State and France, their leader is really more of a figurehead and doesn't actually do anything in terms of the product we all see. But unlike Penn State, FSU and France both are in a decline both economically and abroad. Jimbo Fisher runs the offense and Mickey Andrews runs the defense the same way he did back in the old days when he commanded the British invasion of Appalachia: aggressive, yet mindful of his supply lines. Head Coach Bobby Bowden just kind of stands there and yells at refs about holding calls and "getting off of his lawn." In the last few years his team has lost its firm iron grip of death on the ACC which they had for so long officially marked by a 30-0 loss at home to Wake Forest in 2006.

So far, FSU lost to Miami to open the season in a great game in which Coach Bowden showed the clock management skills only occasionally shown by squirrels. This lack of understanding of how the river of time flows consistently in only one direction allowed FSU to have several shots within Miami's 5 yard line and fail each time in a new and more fun way than the previous attempt. The following week, the Seminole offense was stuck in idle for the first 57 minutes against D2 school Jacksonville State nearly causing a program crushing loss. But then last week, they went out to Provo to go be sacrificial lambs before a Mormon feast. BYU was a top 10 school and FSU was a team about to hit rock bottom. In the face of overpowering civility, FSU stepped up and steamrolled the Cougars.

Overwhelming kindness can be deafening.

After conferring with each other, several stats programs, a historical college football almanac and a magic 8 ball, our team is back with the results.

So, Florida State, are you Good, Bad or Inconsistent?

Florida State you are: Inconsistent!

Florida State is certainly not bad. We here at Potluck Sports aren't sold on Miami (yet) because they beat FSU only because of an onset of senility and then Miami crushed and overwhelmed Georgia Tech. FSU also looked putrid against J'ville State, lead by Ryan Perrilloux oddly enough, and probably should have lost. Yet, they obliterated BYU, a team who beat Big XII juggernaut Oklahoma. So we have to say that FSU is inconsistent. Their defense is solid, their offense is a puzzle, but they will still go to a bowl game. But they will also lose games they should win. For a Gator fan such as myself, this is great... but we need them to wake up, because they are our major yearly out of conference game.

Herm Edward’s Fallacy: Do You Really Play to Win the Game?

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMk5sMHj58I

On Saturday, I had the pleasure of attending the Florida/Tennessee game in Gainesville. It was hotter than hell out there and copiously consuming alcohol since 7 AM on account of beef brisket preparation probably didn’t help hydration matters. As a Florida fan, I was, of course, pleased with the result. Something struck me as curious as a football fan, though: Did Lane Kiffin really want to win the game?

Here’s the scenario: The Volunteers have the ball in 4Q with six minutes remaining at their own 22 yard line. Down 10, a reasonable coach tries to move the ball downfield as quickly as possible to get a touchdown and move within a score of a tie. Montario Hardesty was phenomenal at rushing in the game, averaging nearly 5 YPC and Florida was playing flat footed and getting run over all game, with the exception of Ahmad Black, who had 11 or so tackles. The result of the drive? Tennessee goes 27 yards in 4 minutes and 10 seconds.

Of their two remaining timeouts, Tennessee exercised its first after an incomplete pass by their quarterback. Granted, Jonathan Crompton has the aesthetic and intellectual appeal of a catfish (and he had already thrown a pick earlier) [Ed note: Credit goes to EDSBS for the initial observation], but surely you need to take chances downfield in order to attempt to win! Not to go all Gregg Easterbrook on you, but the Volunteers’ choice of playcalling was “fraidy-cat”, to say the least. In due course, Crompton attempts a deep ball for the first time in the entire game and gets the ball intercepted by Black.

If I were anything close to a Volunteers fan, I would be livid with the choices Senor (not Senior) Kiffin made. Senior Kiffin spent 8 entire months scheming for this one game and probably could not have been more pleased with the results, save the outcome of the game. Florida reverted to an offense so conservative that the ACLU would have likely protested it if they could have, taking many Tim Tebow read option runs as the only avenue for positive gain and exploiting Florida’s (so far established) lack of a battering ram runner outside of Tebow (This, of course, is my call for more Emmanuel Moody). You’re travelling on the road, playing against a heated rival who happens to be the #1 team in the nation, your defensive scheme is working to a T, and you’re in a position to win in the 4th quarter? Come on, Lane. If you’ve got a moral victory in one hand and a piece of crap in the other, guess which one actually exists?

We’ve already seen an instance this year where playing it safe/dumb costs you a win. I’m sure, dear readers, left to your own devices, you can adequately figure out a situation where you didn’t “play to win the game”. Perhaps Herm Edwards was actually ahead of his time with this proclamation of playing games and winning them.

Blood is Best

By Annie Detroit

Growing up in Canada, there really is only one sport that matters…curling. Unfortunately, it couldn’t quite quench that unendurable thirst I felt for violence and blood. So I turned the second most popular sport, hockey. I remember back in the day after a long day at the dojo with my family, huddling around the television and watching Hockey Night in Canada (with the original music, not this new crappy one…what’s with the bagpipes, are we Irish!?) I dreamed of one day suiting up and carrying on the great traditions of Bob Probert, Tie Domi, and Dave “Tiger” Williams. But I knew I was destined for other things. It wouldn’t be until years later that I realized working for [DELETED INFORMATION] and traveling the world to foil the world’s criminal masterminds, that my work serves a different purpose. I remember once when I was in [DELETED INFORMATION], I was just about to [DELETED INFORMATION] and I [DELETED INFORMATION] with my gun…that was funny, it popped right back in.

I digress. Having never visited the southern regions of the United States (my company was never able to secure the Visas for such a visit), I am thankful for my colleagues and the knowledge they will be able to provide you on the things to which I remain ignorant. Especially when relating to our food theme. For instance, I have no idea what “sweet tea” is, or “lemonade.” I only know of two kinds of beverages introduced in my youth, Labatt and Molson. Though to eat, I certainly delve into my carnivoristic nature.

I prefer the one on the left

I have pledged my undying allegiance to the Detroit Red Wings for many reasons. Their plethora of Hall of Fame players (Gordie Howe, Ted Lindsay, Sid Abel, Glenn Hall, Terry Sawchuk, soon to be inductee Steve Yzerman) as well as the other famous/infamous players from my youth (Vladimir Konstantinov, Bob Probert, Stu Grimson, Pat Verbeek, and Joey Kocur). These upstanding citizens were great ambassadors to the game. It wasn’t until March 26, 1997 that I was rewarded for my loyalty. Blood, violence, Colorado pansies sprawled across the ice…it was the greatest day of my life.

Well, that’s enough chit-chat for now, I don’t want to be late to [DELETED INFORMATION] where I’ll be [DELETED INFORMATION]. Ta-ta for now.

Sports, Food, and Sports Food

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

1. Introduction on Sports

Ever since I was a sequentially designated infant in the Illuminatus compound, I have been a huge fan of the Florida Gators. It was there foretold that the world of college sports will favor the Florida Gators. This recent run of championships has not been coincidence or the result of hard work. Oh no, friends. This was predetermined. Aside from the Gators, though, my greatest sports passion is college football, so that will be a preponderance of my writing.

In addition to the Florida Gators, I’m a big fan of the Orlando Magic, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Boston Red Sox. Yes, one of them does not fit in there, but I’ve been consistent in my following. In addition, I don’t find NASCAR revolting, I don’t understand hockey, and Margaret Thatcher is quite a proficient water skier.

2. Introduction on Food

Seeing as how the majority of my existence has been spent in the South, I have a great love for food indigenous to the region. If you think a food contributes to the obesity epidemic in America, chances are it is high on my list of good eats. This is a good segway sentence into Sports Food.

3. Introduction on Sports Food

Florida v. Ole Miss, 2007. Feast your eyes upon this grandeur of a concession:

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v133/207/101/2032075/n2032075_42386848_8098.jpg

That’s paprika, nachos, melted cheese, and barbeque pulled pork. I have yet to see any in-stadium concession that comes close.

My drink of choice during football viewing is bourbon, sweet tea, and lemonade. The ingredients are pretty self-explanatory. I was forever hooked on bourbon during my trip to the Kentucky Derby when Seattle Slew and I went on a three day bender right after the race. Try a proportion of 35% bourbon, 55% sweet tea, and 10% lemonade.

4. Issues That Bother Me with Tangential Relevance to Aforementioned 3 Things

Who at the FOX Network decided that Michael Strahan was charismatic enough to graduate from endorsements and studio analysis to sitcoms? Also, doesn’t it seem like they use the same house for Tyler Perry’s television shows?

Now that the significant awkwardness of getting to know each other is over, I do hope you’ll find your way back here in the future. If not, expect a visit from Dave Coulier.

Greetings

By Slate Quicksiler

I'll spare the normal "hello"s and "who I am" spiel because you can read that on the sidebar of this site. I will be focusing mostly on college football, pro football, baseball, hockey, soccer, golf and food. Why so many topics of expertise? Because I'm Slate Quicksilver, that's why.

I once lead the Tartars over the Mongols and bartered their subjugation within the Mongol empire. When some leaders thought they could fight, I knew meeting their demands and showing that the people I was hired to defend were worth keeping. Baghdad, fifty thousand men in their garrison, thought it could hold out against those relentless horsebound archers. I showed Genghis Khan himself that the Tartars were excellent farmers and that their destruction would be a great folly. The impressed Khan was pleased. We played poker every other Thursday after that over at his place in Xanadu. The Caliphate in Baghdad wasn't as lucky. He had molten silver poured down his throat.

That being said, I am a huge football fan. College football allegiances are with the University of Florida and to a lesser extent Western Michigan University. Pro football is a tricky situation, but I root for the Jaguars which is not unlike the time I lead the strong people of Interior Kenya against British tyranny. It's a shame I had to leave. Baseball is a passion I have had for years, but the Quicksilver curse includes being a Florida Marlins fan. Successes coupled with crushing failures.

Wayne Huizenga: sworn arch-enemy of the Quicksilver Clan

Other sports teams I fancy are the Carolina Hurricanes/Hartford Whalers, which was the only battle I have ever lost. Losing the plucky Whale to the depths of a region of the country infatuated with NASCAR and college basketball. Things are better in the triangle now, but I fought so hard for the likes of Keith Primeau and Jeff O'Neill to stay in the Mall. You will also see me write on the issues of my college's basketball team, golf, lamenting the plight of the little team in college football and several other issues.

You will also see me, as well as my colleagues, write about food and drinks. To me, nothing is better than southern pit BBQ, sweet tea, cornbread, fried okra and peach/apricot cobbler finished off with a night cap of a half and half kentucky bourbon and coke. However, being a world traveler, there is also nothing like a chicken shawarma with feta cheese, fatty tuna nigiri or an enchilada with proper spicy sauce to cheese ratio combined with the appropriate drink.

I look forward to writing about sports for all of you, and I bid you the salutation of the Sami people of northern Lapland whom I helped expunge the Russians in the mid 1500s: "Toukokuu sinun siida olla siunattu luona Aandroc, Jumala kalja ja erinomainen erotiikka!" May your dwellings be blessed by Aandroc, the God of beer and great sex!

Welcome to Potluck Sports

By: Slate Quicksilver

This site serves several important purposes. First and foremost, this site will be about sports. You name the sport and if our ethnocentrist (USA USA USA) leanings are cool with said sport, we will write about it. Right now, we are a collection of a few post grads recently graduated from college with too much time on our hands. We are either furthering our education in one way or another, or trying to settle in to the dark and scary void known as "the real world." Rather than gab on and on about what this site will be, a Q&A should suffice:


What sports are deemed worthy of your attention?

In no particular order: Baseball, Football (College and Pro), Basketball (College and Pro), Hockey, Soccer, Golf, Fishing (!) and just about anything else we feel like.


What about Cricket?

Go away.


Slate Quicksilver, Annie Detroit... What's with your names?

Well, most importantly, but it's because we have boring names. Why bother with real names when you can have ridiculously cool ones? With cool names, your imagination of how awesome we are will grow exponentially.

Although it could be Annie Detroit, it isn't. She would never use a gun without a silencer.

What's this I hear about food?

We all love food. So every once in a while we are going to sing the praises of certain foods, restaurants, drinks, desserts and share experiences with such foods. It'll be great. We may even drop a recipe or two because we are all budding cooks.


I like food!
Good for you.


You have multiple authors, you talk about a lot of things and food is involved... is that why you are called Potluck Sports?
You don't pick up on subtlety do you?


How often will you update?
Enough to keep you coming back everyday. That's why we are rolling with more than just three contributors, we want this site to be successful.


I can read about sports anywhere. This is the internet, you know.
I agree. We read sports sites, blogs, newspapers, play fantasy football and baseball (and hockey) just like you. What we hope makes us special is that we all have different perspectives of sports because we live in different regions of the country, we all can write and we all have varying degrees of humor. Plus, there will be food entries, guest writers and tons of variety.


Sounds good.
I hope so.


What happens if nobody reads this?
Doesn't matter too much. Maybe the egos and self-esteems will be hurt a touch, but as I said, we all have too much time on our hands or we need a break/outlet. Hopefully our site will get some buzz, some readers and this could be cool. Leave comments both vitriolic and praise. We are all big people and we can take it. Writing on the internet with no readers is like screaming into a dark empty warehouse. Even if no one hears it, it sometimes is still cool and feels good.


What if this is a wild success?
We're inviting everyone to the champagne room.


Thanks for answering my questions.
No problem, have a good one.