Hello, Folks!
Welcome to a new a weekly game show we'll be doing here at Potluck Sports. I am your host, Slate Quicksilver, and this is Good, Bad or Inconsistent? Every week our crack team of researchers and statisticians who all are graduates from Ivy League Schools, except Tag... he went to NYU. Don't worry, we rag on him constantly. Better luck next time, Tag. Maybe for your PhD, you'll at least apply to Brown. You don't even have to be a legacy to get in there! (pause of for laughter)
Anyway, our researchers and statisticians will look at all sports, look at one sport in particular each week and then figure out if certain teams are: Good, Bad or Inconsistent!
So, with that being said let's play Good, Bad or Inconsistent!
This week's sport: College Football!
Contestant #1, Washington, are you ready?
In 2008, Washington was terrible. Absolutely terrible. After nearing knocking off BYU, save for a mammothly stupid referee call on Jake Locker showing something called "joy", and then the following injury to said gentleman, Washington got their doors blown in week in and week out for the rest of the season. Ty Willingham patrolled the sidelines looking for anyone showing signed of being alive just so he could send them in to get slaughtered by bayonet charge after bayonet charge from their opponents. Finally the Apple Cup rolled around when they got to play Washington State in a miserable pity party of a game. In the end WSU won, but only because they cried the hardest.
In 2009, Washington is the toast of the nation. After losing a game that the universe thought they would lose by 80 to LSU only by 8, the Huskies beat Idaho. But then they propelled themselves into the "OMG THEY'RE BACK!" category by beating USC at home. Washington made USC look silly on offense. USC went 0 for 10 on third down, and Washington moved the ball when they had to against a Trojan defense that was supposed to be terrifying.
After conferring with each other, several stats programs, a historical college football almanac and a magic 8 ball, our team is back with the results.
So, Washington, are you Good, Bad or Inconsistent?
Washington you are: Good!
Washington was an abomination last year. It was quite obvious they quit on their coach halfway through the season. During the last game of the season against California, Washington let hyperback Jahvid Best run for 311 yards on them, occasionally stopping mid run to kiss babies in strollers and do his taxes in the backfield. But with a reasonable amount of the same cast and crew on the field for Washington, they look renewed. LSU is a solid team, losing to them close was not a bad thing for their psyche. Being Idaho and ending the nation's longest losing streak must have been great. Beating the cocky USC team that thought it could win the game without leaving the bus must have been like winning the lottery. Next week UW plays at Stanford and then goes to Notre Dame to play their Swiss cheese defense. Washington won't win the Pac10, but they will win 8 or 9 games this year and due to mathematics, that is an 8 or 9 game turnaround.
Contestant #2, Florida State, are you ready?
Florida State in the past few years has fallen victim to senile old coach syndrome. Like Penn State and France, their leader is really more of a figurehead and doesn't actually do anything in terms of the product we all see. But unlike Penn State, FSU and France both are in a decline both economically and abroad. Jimbo Fisher runs the offense and Mickey Andrews runs the defense the same way he did back in the old days when he commanded the British invasion of Appalachia: aggressive, yet mindful of his supply lines. Head Coach Bobby Bowden just kind of stands there and yells at refs about holding calls and "getting off of his lawn." In the last few years his team has lost its firm iron grip of death on the ACC which they had for so long officially marked by a 30-0 loss at home to Wake Forest in 2006.
So far, FSU lost to Miami to open the season in a great game in which Coach Bowden showed the clock management skills only occasionally shown by squirrels. This lack of understanding of how the river of time flows consistently in only one direction allowed FSU to have several shots within Miami's 5 yard line and fail each time in a new and more fun way than the previous attempt. The following week, the Seminole offense was stuck in idle for the first 57 minutes against D2 school Jacksonville State nearly causing a program crushing loss. But then last week, they went out to Provo to go be sacrificial lambs before a Mormon feast. BYU was a top 10 school and FSU was a team about to hit rock bottom. In the face of overpowering civility, FSU stepped up and steamrolled the Cougars.
Overwhelming kindness can be deafening.So, Florida State, are you Good, Bad or Inconsistent?
Florida State you are: Inconsistent!
Florida State is certainly not bad. We here at Potluck Sports aren't sold on Miami (yet) because they beat FSU only because of an onset of senility and then Miami crushed and overwhelmed Georgia Tech. FSU also looked putrid against J'ville State, lead by Ryan Perrilloux oddly enough, and probably should have lost. Yet, they obliterated BYU, a team who beat Big XII juggernaut Oklahoma. So we have to say that FSU is inconsistent. Their defense is solid, their offense is a puzzle, but they will still go to a bowl game. But they will also lose games they should win. For a Gator fan such as myself, this is great... but we need them to wake up, because they are our major yearly out of conference game.
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