A Call for Order Re: Fouls

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Enough. Please. For the love of all that is holy, stop.

Please make a "how-to" manual for reffing the NBA playoffs. This really only applies to the East Coast series. The West Coast games I've been watching were pretty solidly refereed, with the referees intervening only when needed, allowing the slashers to get to the basket and not calling such incredibly ticky-tack contact fouls. Those folks should be applauded, or at the very least, hat tipped.

I swear this is the last time I'm going to complain because I think we all know how bad they are. But, two things really stick out of late. First, the NBA upgraded Dwight Howard's elbow to Kevin Garnett's "head" to a Flagrant-1, giving him two of the requisite four points in the Flagrant Bank required for suspension. Second, barring overturning a T, the NBA will have Kendrick Perkins suspended for one game for accruing 6 technical fouls.

Try as I might, it seems nobody has a video of this foul that was allegedly so bad. That's probably because nothing happened. Scene: after a missed bucket by someone on the Celts (it might have been Big Ballerina)...

AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING. PLEASE QUIT WITH THE "GLEN DAVIS IS SOOOO AGILE FOR A BIG MAN" TALK. LOOK, THE DUDE THROWS AROUND HIS FAT AND WRECKS EVERYTHING HE COMES ACROSS. LAST TIME I CHECKED, AGILE MEANT DEXTEROUS AND ABLE TO AVOID THINGS. IF YOU HAVE EVER WATCHED THIS MAN PLAY, YOU WILL CONCLUDE THAT IT IS NIGH IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM NOT TO HIT ANYTHING.

Anyhow, after a missed bucket at the 6:29 mark of the 3rd quarter, Dwight gets a board with his M elbows (you know, from the Y-M-C-A hand motions). KG, who was behind Dwight at the time, starts running down the court as Dwight simultaneously turns to pass the ball upcourt. Dwight turns and brushes KG unintentionally and gets called for a foul after KG realizes he was touched and acts like he got hit in the head with a hammer.

First, there's no way this could have been flagrant because KG was behind Dwight at the time. Unless Dwight has eyes in the back of his head, he didn't see KG coming. Second, as bullish as Dwight is, he wasn't about to get a flagrant on KG for something as trivial as he did. If Dwight Howard wants to foul you flagrantly, he will. (Aside: that should have been a Flagrant 2. Having watched Dwight as long as he's been in the NBA, he very clearly meant to foul hard there. That goes beyond the Bill Laimbeer style of play. He meant to do some harm.) Third, all this was is a favor to the Celtic players for endlessly whining when they get called for the exact same shit they do to everyone else.

That being said...

There's no way Perkins should have gotten the second technical last night. He didn't even look like he mouthed off or said anything to Eddie Rush. Whatever he said to Joey Crawford (recognize a common trend in these bad ref stories?) must have really hurt his feelings, but not enough to challenge him to a fight. As much as I rag on Perk, he got a really raw deal last night on that second one.

However, I do take exception to what Doc Rivers said about Perk not being at fault because of the preponderance of the technicals being double technicals. As they'll tell you quite often in my field, correlation does not necessarily equal causation, but at some point, you've got to call a trend a trend. The Celts have a lot of uncoordinated, bullish big men (Perk, Davis, Scalabrine, who is inactive, Shelden Williams), so we can expect a lot of technicals and double technicals because that's what their job is: go out, let everyone else score, and you do the dirty work of rebounding and mixing it up. It's not like Perkins and Davis are going to remind anybody of Channing Frye and Dirk Nowitzki. They're simply not the same type of player and nowhere near the same kind of fluidity. Shit happens, Doc.

Having said that, I expect the NBA to grant Perk some clemency and wipe out the 2nd of 2 technicals. The NBA is a bit reluctant to wipe out the technicals where the player mouths off to the ref (to protect their employees), but there was no basis for that second one. Given that Big Bumblebee is probably out after trying to take his first steps last night. (Also not a flagrant/technical foul. At some point, you will lower your arms on the way down. It's not like it was a top rope elbow drop.)

This is the last column I (hopefully) will write about the refs. No more than is deserved, I swear.