During Cavs/Celts Game 6 (more on that later), sometime during the 4th quarter during a pan to the crowd shot, an eagle eyed cameraman came across this gem of an adolescent.
Yikes. There are many things wrong with this picture. Let's break it down.
1. First, according to my diligent research of the last 20 minutes, this isn't even a jersey they actually wore. According to their press release from their official fan blog (linked here by J.E. Skeets), this is a "special colorized adaption of this season's Hardwood Classics retro uniform." That's a mouthful and a half.
I have no problem with throwback jerseys; some of them are ridiculously cool. Here's one for my team. Here's one that looks even better/more unintentionally hilarious in light of Denver's new stance on marijuana. And who among us wouldn't want to take a walk in this guy's well-traveled, often-replaced-because-he-gambles-them-away shoes? There's even a certain air of vintage about the maroon and gold Cavs jersey.
But, that's not what this kid did.
He has a "throwback" jersey from a year ago with colors that don't even pertain to his team. It was specifically rolled out slightly over a year ago as a marketing ploy. Cool. Though, I suppose he doesn't have a problem with being newly minted because...
2. He's wearing what appears to be a brand new Yankees hat.
Most baseball fans would agree that, up until last year really, there was no reason to wear a Yankees hat if you were jumping on the bandwagon. They hadn't won the World Series since 2000, were in fact defeated in 2001 and 2003, watched their rival Red Sox win two in that timespan, and generally were in a funk (by their standards) since the acquisition of A-Rod. That all changed last year when we now, regrettably, call Alex Rodriguez a World Series champion.
Surely, that young man struggled through 2004 and 2007, most especially 2004. That Dave Roberts steal must have really gotten in his craw to the point where he was teased mercilessly by those kids out on the playground for wearing the loser's colors the next day.
(pausing to recall 1995 Florida/Nebraska and then the next day)
I feel for him. Elementary school children are dicks. I know I was.
Wait, though, that hat is completely new. Nothing indicates it's ever been worn more than a dozen times, which isn't to say that couldn't be the case. Our best guess is that this hat has been worn in relative moderate climes (no sweat markings) and maybe he ran into a door while wearing it (check the discontinuity right over his left eye). I have a theory on why this is, but let me throw in a non-sequitur for a second.
3. Is that Rick Reilly staring all bug-eyed into the great beyond behind that kid? My personal guess is that it isn't, but you could definitely fool a few people at first, second, or even third blush. You could use a little more iodine for your thyroid problem, Mr. Behind-the-Bandwagoner.
Anyhow, my guess as to why the kid is dressing in that otherwise contemptible way for a sports fan to dress is...
4. He's doing it because that's precisely what he's seen LeBron James doing.
I can't begrudge the kid for having a sports hero, or even behaving like a kid does, what with all the marketing susceptibility. I've purchased pairs of basketball sneakers in my day, with my all-time favorite shoe ever being this one (how I wish I could find another pair!). That's not really where I find fault with that picture. I don't even fault LeBron for front-running a little bit, especially in light of his photo with Dr. Dre wearing his Red-Sox emblazoned BEATS headphones (which are a pretty quality product in and of themselves).
I suppose it ultimately boils down to how I feel about the average fan front-running. Yes, this is where a distinction lies. With the advent of free agency (a good thing), it is difficult for us to hold athletes to a strict allegiance standard. The days of playing for one team are very few and far between, and I have all the more respect for those who do stay with one team their whole career. More often than not, changing teams is strictly a business now; there's hardly anyone so affected by sports rivalries that they will refuse to go to a specific team (e.g. Brett Favre/MIN, Johnny Damon/NYY).
But the average fan? Sports is just an outlet, a hobby bordering on a membership in a group. Rarely should it ever be a business decision to abandon a rooting interest. There are a few exceptions that I feel warrant leaving a team, such as complete mismanagement of a team to the point of you renouncing allegiance (the Buffalo Bills would be a sterling example) or inheriting a team from your parents and then moving to a different market thus renouncing your old ties in favor of making new ones to the local team (e.g. someone born in NY who moves to, say, Seattle). These are acceptable reasons, though the latter one must be used with care, lest you find yourself bandwagoning. Military folks probably have a free pass on that, though, so long as they're on active duty.
The point is, I think it's fair to hold the average fan and the average or superstar athlete to a different standard, even if both parties abandoning a team simultaneously would evoke a different reaction from me. I try to live as principled a sports-fan's existence as possible, so maybe it's just me.
For that young man's punishment, he shall be drawn and quartered. Dually and duly noted.
[Ed's note: Wow, that went on longer than I thought. A quick thought about Game 6.]
Last night's game had to be one of the biggest disappointments I've ever experienced for a game in which I had no rooting interest. The game was officially over at the point last night - I want to say 6 minutes left in the 3rd - when Anderson Varejao was allegedly bleeding, stopped playing to attempt to get the clocked stopped while all 9 other players continued to go at it. By my message log, that was about 10:04 PM. I told Slate that I thought I was pressing more than LeBron was; I really was hoping for something to happen, but it didn't. Thus, it was a bigger letdown than usual. I won't pin the loss entirely on LeBron, although he could have been more efficient, his teammates played as if they had no hands.
Congrats to the Celtics; see you on Sunday.
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