Foods that give you Flavorgasms

By Slate Quicksilver

As we mention in the brief description of our site at the top of the page, we also are devoted to food. The three primary writers for this site all have different tastes and takes on various foods. Some like pickles, others think that pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil. Some love sushi. Others think sushi is an active invitation for salmonella. Some like white chocolate. Others will be vaporized just by being within a 10 foot radius of it.

But there is one food that is common bond. A lingua franca of food: The Pizza Pot Pie.

Simply put, this is the pinnacle of what food can be. First let's break it down. Pot pies are always excellent. The slight crispiness and the total flakiness of the crust is always awesome and even in 69 cent cheapo brand frozen food form is hard to mess up.

69 cents for: A kickass chicken pot pie done in 6 minutes AND you have a chance to go the Daytona 500. What a world we live in...

Pot pies will vary in awesometude depending on variables like gravy flavor (dark or light), gravy quotient (heavy or light) and chicken-veggie differential (high to low). Really, the only way you could screw this up would be to eat one that is 4 years past expiration date or not cook it enough. Scientifically speaking, it's practically impossible to overcook.

That brings us to pizza. I don't need to tell you how amazing pizza is. Yours truly prefers a greasy thin-slice NY style pizza with mushrooms and any meat. But there's nothing wrond with a Chicago deep dish or even one of those wacky California creations like a chicken pad thai pizza. You just can't go wrong: flat bread, tomato sauce, cheese, meat, heat, serve. If you can't do that, it may be time to turn in your "human being" card... in America, that's your social security card.

So now we come to the evolution point. Not unlike the first fish-like thing that jumped from the water to escape a predator and decided "Hey, this oxygen thing ain't so bad!" Pizza + Pot Pie = X?

X = Excellence in food form. You can get this in Chicago from the Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder Co. You have to wait at least an hour to sit at any given time of business hours. You walk up to the maitre'd and tell him how many to sit. You go amongst the crowd, but he remembers your face in order with all the other ones. Almost exactly to the time he says, he comes and gets you... in order.

So what exactly is the pot pie of pizza? Well, sit and listen. In a ceramic bowl, mozzarella cheese of the tastiest form is put on the bottom. This is smothered with basil tomato sauce, mushrooms and meat (the last are optional but certainly recommended even to those who don't eat either) . Then the flaky crust is applied over the top of bowl which is put into a wood fired brick over. From here, science takes over as tasty molecules interact with savory molecules to make the rarest of all food molecules: amazingium. Amazingium is only found in foods of the rarest quality. This is almost pure amazingium. When served, the pot pie is cut out of the bowl by the server and then plopped on to your plate. The following is what stares back at you:


This is a 9 on the flavorgasm scale. It would receive a 10, but like the SATs, you can't get the 100% percentile even with a perfect score. If you are ever in Chicago, it is recommended with the greatest of urgency to go there. Even if it means you only have 2 hours on a connection in O'hare. Don't worry, there will be more than one flight from O'Hare to whatever Pizza Pot Pie-less locale you are traveling to.