Tuesday:
MAACO Las Vegas Bowl - Oregon State v. BYU
Iroquois:
A surprisingly good bowl for Las Vegas. While BYU is here for the 4th year in a row, Oregon State might have to be a little disappointed with ending up here. I'm not really confident that BYU is going to be excited to be here; familiarity breeds contempt. Oregon State has a dynamic RB in Quizz Rogers. Seriously, do yourself a favor and watch him. If you're a big fan of little RBs (like I am), you'll be looking forward to watching him for the next two years.
By the way, how does MAACO get a bowl? They're like the Ol' Roy of auto repair. Budget-class. Chock full of complaints. Were I Las Vegas, I would not want to be associated with such a shoddy act. I guess when Comcast and FedEx are your clients, you can pay any unseasonable amount to get lucky with a good bowl game every now and again.
Oregon State over BYU.
Slate:
What's the difference between going to your first Rose Bowl in several decades and going to a pointless bowl against a team that is in a bowl in a city that juxtaposes with the school's austere religious philosophy for the 4th year in a row? 4 points. Oregon State wanted a Rose Bowl bid, but couldn't get it done. BYU wanted more as well. The Cougars opened the season slaying Oklahoma and ruining Sam Bradford's party run through to the championship run. But a few loses down the road ended that. The Beavers offense will do well against BYU's defense which was proven to be slightly "holey." ZING!
Iroquois asks why MAACO is sponsoring this bowl, yet I ask "why not." MAACO has everything Las Vegas is about. Covering up a busted and ugly underside that may not be entirely legal (at least in terms of street legal) is what MAACO does. And Las Vegas? All it happens to be is one paint job/neon light glitz job from being exactly what it is: America's red light district.
Beavers over Mormons
Wednesday
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - Utah v. Cal
Iroquois:
My God. There really are no words for this sponsor. Scholars have long debated what the meaning of San Diego means, but it probably is German for "whale's vagina". If you don't know where that is from at this point, just stop reading and never come back. Speaking of people who haven't seen Anchorman, check out this Yahoo answers page. The Internet is great.
As for the actual game, it's probably too close to call. Cal's favored by 3,5 but really, the measureables of this game are just too close to call. There's 0.5 turnovers separating the two teams and no superstar that's going to sway the game, as if Jahvid Best were still there. The X-factor will probably be Shane Vereen, a fine RB in his own right.
Cal over Utah.
Slate:
Utah never gained much traction this year, and seeing as how Cal fizzled against the big fish in the Pac10 pond, neither did they. In fact for Cal it was a normal year. Lose to the big ones, lose to one smaller one and beat all of the little kids on the block. Losing hyperback Jahvid Best was tough, but the offense never had a passing game all year. Both are reasonable teams and it'll be close, but I find Utah walking away.
Sponsor-wise, this is an egregious foul on the bowl circuit. There is no national brand, just locality and it's a credit union. Not a bank. Not a firm or a group, but a credit union... the bank version of a collective farm in Soviet Russia. If you get a loan from there, everyone owns your car!
Utah over Cal
Thursday
Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl - Nevada v. SMU
Iroquois:
This will actually be a fun game, I think. You've got the offense with the most yards gained per possession (Nevada) plus the uniqueness of the pistol formation on one side. Opposite, you have about as spread-y an offense as you can get, one which simultaneously requires both running and shooting. It does have a history of giving QBs the opportunity to put up crazy numbers. I had always wondered what happened to that guy after college. Better than delivering pizzas, I guess, though probably less tasty in the long run. Also, it never really occurred to me to give JJ any sort of advantage because he was returning to Hawai'i until I was writing this blurb. Strange how things hit you that way.
A serious note for a moment: while many Gator fans might have beef with June because of his controversial comments on Tebow's system, there was a recent blog entry on the NYT's Quad Blog highlights one of those fascinating stories you might never know about unless someone does a little bit of legwork, wherein Jones fulfills a promise to one of his recently departed assistant coaches. I don't want to take the hits away from their article, so that's as far as I'll go, but it really is a touching, if brief, read. Here's the link to that article.
Nevada over SMU.
Slate:
Thursday's forecast in Honolulu, Hawai'i calls for a high of 80, low of 67 and a 100% chance of NUTTYNESS!!!! June Jones returns to the land of spam, Polynesians and a people that swear to God that Hawaii is so different from America that it should be its own country(!). Those are the same people who don't understand the crushing economic woes and diplomatic issues that would arise immediately. Idiots. Anyway, SMU's offense is batty and nutzo with all of its passing. This is juxtaposed with Nevada's run heavy pistol offense which batty and nutzo on its own. In the end, I think SMU comes out alive because Nevada's pass defense is pitiful.
By the way, Sheraton is not a bad sponsor. Nice hotels, nice locales, nice staff. All said, this bowl deserves a high five for location and sponsor. However, two reasonable climate teams are there. No, Reno is not the best weather destination in December, but I'm willing to bet that Idaho's fanbase in Moscow, Idaho would much rather be in Honolulu than Dallas-ites.
SMU over Nevada (caps for extra emphasis)
Saturday
Little Caesar's Bowl - Marshall v. Ohio
Iroquois:
I love how writing lends itself to segways sometimes. I go from talking about delivering pizzas to bowl games sponsored by pizza (and we're not done yet!) I really don't know anything about either of these teams, other than their location in the upper Rust Belt of the United States, and I'm not even sure that's right. Unlike Slate, I might be best described as 'geographically challenged'. I couldn't navigate my way out of a paper bag. I also do know that former UF DBs coach John Holliday was hired as Marshall's HC, causing a minor controversy because Holliday has deep roots to Marshall's rival West Virginia.
Having exhausted my actual knowledge of either of these teams, I now briefly turn to why Lil Caesar's pizza is better than Papa John's. Don't get me wrong, I think PJ's pizza is alright. There's something about the LC's pizza, though, that's endearing. Is it the crust? Is it the square shape? Is it the fact that it's like Hungry Howie's pizza done correctly? I don't know, but it's damn good.
I can't believe I'm onto a third paragraph, none of which have really anything to do with the game at hand, but you can definitely tell the Wikipedia article for Lil Caesar's was written by a Canadian or someone not American. I present Exhibit A (and really my only piece of evidence, other than LC being big in Canada):
A new location was also scheduled to open in the Pittsburgh suburb of Whitehall on 29 September 2009.
29 Sep 2009? Really?
Marshall over Ohio.
Slate:
Quick commentary on the plight of Detroit:
Unlike what you may think or have heard, no you will not a Kevlar vest if you are venturing to Adams St. and Montcalm in downtown Detroit. This is because crime in Detroit is no longer the issue. Why? This is because there is nobody in Detroit anymore! There is no one to rob you. There is no one to mug you. Detroit no longer has a supermarket in its boundaries. There is just no one there to create the crimes. And as such, there is no taxbase and thus no way out of this crushingly brutal depression.
That said, Marshall and Ohio will draw 11 people to the stadium. Ohio has an athletic QB and Marshall has 11 players on the field at all time during the game as per the rules of Football (I don't feel like researching this bowl one bit). In a coin flip, I go with Ohio.
As for Little Caesars being the sponsor, this is just embarrassing. Seriously. No more words are necessary.
Ohio over Marshall
Meineke Car Care Bowl - North Carolina v. Pittsburgh
Iroquois:
Now we turn to the silver medal of the car service companies bowl (long live the AutoZone Liberty Bowl!) I personally have never visited a Meineke, even though there are literally a dozen within a small radius from where I hail.
This game has to be considered a disappointment from both sides. UNC HC Butch Davis, who captained the 2001 Miami squad, has to be a decent coach still. He's been getting some talent into UNC (note the recent success of Hakeem Nicks) as well as Marvin Austin, who will be one of many DTs in this surprisingly deep class of DTs. We also have one of the all-name team guys in Quantavius Sturdivant. Your author learned of Mr. Sturdivant when he tried to commit to UF but Urban wasn't quite on board with it. Safe to say, I think Urban might take a do-over on that one given the chance.
Then we get to the Wannstache, who was previously on course for a BCS bowl (maybe) until they ran into the burning couch that is the West Virginia Mountaineers (again, more segwaying). I've extolled the virtues of the Wannstache's squad before on this site and I refuse to back down from them now. In fact, I appear to be fairly confident they will win, not that I've been really good at picking winners this year.
Wannstache over Quantavius.
Slate:
It was fun for the Wannstache for the time, but a missed extra point torpedoed that. I'm sure somehow there is a way to blame the Wannstache for that. Anyway, Iroquois was right in saying Pitt was an OK team this year. And they will roll in this game over a dull North Carolina team.
Meineke should be made fun of, but do you want George Foreman up your ass if you make fun of them? I sure as hell don't. He may be older than 60 but he could still ruin you day without much effort.
Pitt over UNC
Emerald (Nuts) Bowl - Southern California v. Boston College
Iroquois:
Not exactly what you had in mind to start the year, is it Pete? This is as big a shock to this observer as it is to you, I'm certain. Also, not to jump on a moral high horse, but is this really the best cover story that Mr. McKnight's benefactor can concoct? If it's true, then my apologies. Amazing coincidences have their way of sounding like total horsecrap.
USC over BC.
Slate:
Let's just pause for a few lines to soak in how much fun it is to see USC fall this far.
Thanks.
USC, if they show up, will destroy a dull and sleepy Boston College team handily. If they don't show up, they will destroy a dull and sleep Boston College team.
Emerald nuts is a good sponsor though. They have funny commercials and their product is not bad. Kudos to all involved.
USC over BC
Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl - Kentucky v. Clemson
Iroquois:
There's really no reason Clemson shouldn't win this bowl. They have the superior offensive talent (CJ Spiller, Jacoby Ford) to outgun Kentucky. Trevard Lindley, an excellent CB, can only do so much to neutralize either guy (not sure why he'd be covering Spiller), but Ford is the kind of receiver that can give Lindley problems (super fast both coming off routes and in the open field). Combined with Kentucky's not-so-potent offense against Da'Quan Bowers and Ricky Sapp...just not looking like Kentucky's day.
I'm less convinced, however, that Clemson will want to show up. They should be in the Konica Minolta Gator Bowl, were it not for some shady dealing with the Seminoles and the fact that the Gator Bowl is dropping the ACC as a tie-in next year. I like Kentucky for an upset wherein a disinterested CJ Spiller does not show up for this game, which has to grind the Sons of Clem's gears.
Kentucky over Clemson.
Slate:
We finally reach the end of this weeks entry will a game of little importance or draw. Clemson has CJ Spiller, Kentucky has Trevard Lindley. No offense to Mr. Lindley, but I give the advantage to Spiller. It is true, however, that Clemson has little else outside of Spiller, so maybe an injury or a meteor hitting him could turn the tables for Kentucky, but that is probably a 20% chance even during a meteor storm.
Clemson over Kentucky
No comments:
Post a Comment