As we mention in the brief description of our site at the top of the page, we also are devoted to food. The three primary writers for this site all have different tastes and takes on various foods. Some like pickles, others think that pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil. Some love sushi. Others think sushi is an active invitation for salmonella. Some like white chocolate. Others will be vaporized just by being within a 10 foot radius of it.
But there is one food that is common bond. A lingua franca of food: The Pizza Pot Pie.
Simply put, this is the pinnacle of what food can be. First let's break it down. Pot pies are always excellent. The slight crispiness and the total flakiness of the crust is always awesome and even in 69 cent cheapo brand frozen food form is hard to mess up.
69 cents for: A kickass chicken pot pie done in 6 minutes AND you have a chance to go the Daytona 500. What a world we live in...
Pot pies will vary in awesometude depending on variables like gravy flavor (dark or light), gravy quotient (heavy or light) and chicken-veggie differential (high to low). Really, the only way you could screw this up would be to eat one that is 4 years past expiration date or not cook it enough. Scientifically speaking, it's practically impossible to overcook.
That brings us to pizza. I don't need to tell you how amazing pizza is. Yours truly prefers a greasy thin-slice NY style pizza with mushrooms and any meat. But there's nothing wrond with a Chicago deep dish or even one of those wacky California creations like a chicken pad thai pizza. You just can't go wrong: flat bread, tomato sauce, cheese, meat, heat, serve. If you can't do that, it may be time to turn in your "human being" card... in America, that's your social security card.
So now we come to the evolution point. Not unlike the first fish-like thing that jumped from the water to escape a predator and decided "Hey, this oxygen thing ain't so bad!" Pizza + Pot Pie = X?
X = Excellence in food form. You can get this in Chicago from the Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder Co. You have to wait at least an hour to sit at any given time of business hours. You walk up to the maitre'd and tell him how many to sit. You go amongst the crowd, but he remembers your face in order with all the other ones. Almost exactly to the time he says, he comes and gets you... in order.
So what exactly is the pot pie of pizza? Well, sit and listen. In a ceramic bowl, mozzarella cheese of the tastiest form is put on the bottom. This is smothered with basil tomato sauce, mushrooms and meat (the last are optional but certainly recommended even to those who don't eat either) . Then the flaky crust is applied over the top of bowl which is put into a wood fired brick over. From here, science takes over as tasty molecules interact with savory molecules to make the rarest of all food molecules: amazingium. Amazingium is only found in foods of the rarest quality. This is almost pure amazingium. When served, the pot pie is cut out of the bowl by the server and then plopped on to your plate. The following is what stares back at you:
This is a 9 on the flavorgasm scale. It would receive a 10, but like the SATs, you can't get the 100% percentile even with a perfect score. If you are ever in Chicago, it is recommended with the greatest of urgency to go there. Even if it means you only have 2 hours on a connection in O'hare. Don't worry, there will be more than one flight from O'Hare to whatever Pizza Pot Pie-less locale you are traveling to.
Welcome to a new a weekly game show we'll be doing here at Potluck Sports. I am your host, Slate Quicksilver, and this is Good, Bad or Inconsistent? Every week our crack team of researchers and statisticians who all are graduates from Ivy League Schools. Unfortunately today we are down one researcher: Cole. Cole is attending the birth of his second child. Cole's first child is already 4, but you'd never guess seeing as how it already has hacked into the CIA's supercomputers three times this year. The new child has an IQ of 183. That's 2 points higher than Cole's!
(pause for laughter)
Anyway, our researchers and statisticians will look at all sports, look at one sport in particular each week and then figure out if certain teams are: Good, Bad or Inconsistent!
So, with that being said let's play Good, Bad or Inconsistent!
This week's sport: College Football!
Contestant #1, Ole Miss, are you ready?
In 2008, Ole Miss was an enigma wrapped in a mystery with a spicy yet sweet quandary sauce evenly poured on top. They started 2-2, even losing to Vandy, before going to the Swamp and (ANGER, CURSE WORDS AND BLOODRAGE POUR FROM THE SKY) thanks to stuffing them on 4th and (KICKS 35 KITTENS) UF's only loss of 2008 (SCREAMS UNTIL VOCAL CHORDS EXPLODE). Houston Nutt's team celebrated that by losing two games in a row. Despite being 3-4 and oddly ordinary, Ole Miss decided to win 6 games in a row with a nightcap of crushing TTech in the Cotton Bowl.
Despite losing two first round picks to the draft on both sides of the line, Ole Miss was ranked #8 in the 2009 preseason polls. Winning their first two games by a total of 77 points certainly seemed to validate that, and they rose to #4. But then on a Thursday night they traveled to South Carolina. Turns out, they left their offense back in Oxford. Jevan Snead put up miserable numbers and the Gamecocks did just enough to win. Ole Miss fell sharply from #4 to #21, a remarkable fall from grace despite losing to a team that isn't all that bad.
After conferring with each other, several stats programs, a historical college football almanac and a magic 8 ball, our team is back with the results.
So, Ole Miss, are you Good, Bad or Inconsistent?
Ole Miss you are: BAD!
It's easy to say I told you so, so I will. Look, Ole Miss lost a good deal of talent. Yes, they brought in a good recruiting class. Yes, Houston Nutt can coach a bit. But Ole Miss did not in any universe amongst the infinite multiverse deserve a #4 ranking. Houston Nutt, first and foremost, loses games he should never lose and just as much, wins games he should never win. We don't know what it is, but it just happens. Perhaps it's his offensive scheming. At Arkansas, the offense was absolutely sold on running the ball with Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, no matter what. In that situation, passing the ball became a vague nuance the offense sometimes did resulting in amazing stats like this: Casey Dick 3/17 29 yards 1 TD 1 INT. No, he was not hurt in that game. That is what happens in a Houston Nutt offense. Yes, one thing went well in that game... the running game. But the passing game was horrendous. But against South Carolina, nothing worked. It's very clear that their offense can go from red hot to absolute zero on a week to week basis.
Contestant #2, California, are you ready?
In 2008, California was a solid team with an amazing runningback and a solid defense. They lost two puzzling games against Arizona and Maryland, but their other two loses were to USC and Oregon State. Jahvid Best entered the scene as the most electifying pure RB in the country. Yet they were limited by inconsistent, at best, QB play. Winning the "Whatever Bowl is in San Francisco" Bowl over Miami was the capstone to a successful season and showing that they had a clear direction for the program. Jeff Tedford, after years of bleh-ness, seemed to have things figured out. They were primed for the big show to challenge Oregon for #2 in the Pac10 and maybe eve USC.
In 2009, California started off like they were better than the preseason #12 ranking. They crushed Maryland in Week 1, blew out a D2 school Eastern Washington and then beat down Minnesota in the first game played at U of Minny's new house. In those games, RB Jahvid Best moved up an echelon from "Best running back in America" to "Hyperback." He scored all 5 TDs against Minnesota. No one hits a crease like Best. But then they went to Oregon. Oregon, though they beat Purdue and Utah at home, were still a bit shellshocked from their loss in the opener to Boise State (insert LaGarrette Blount punching joke here). Marching into Autzen Stadium ranked #6, Cal looked like winning was an inevitability. 4 LONG hours later for the Golden Bears, they were down 39. Oregon contained Best and the Oregon offense finally remembered in which direction the endzone was located.
He can outrun linebackers, safeties and even cornerbacks. But Jahvid Best can't outrun indigestion.
After conferring with each other, several stats programs, a historical college football almanac and a magic 8 ball, our team is back with the results.
So, California, are you Good, Bad or Inconsistent?
California you are: Inconsistent!
When you have a running game like they do, you can't be bad. Being steamcleaned by Oregon was bad, maybe even embarrassing, but Oregon was underrated. That week 1 loss plus losing their best runningback really tempered the Ducks' momentum. Take away that loss and Oregon would have been a fringe Top 10 team. It can be reasonably inferred that Cal would not have fallen to 24. Now Cal gets to host USC in a huge game. All the normal juggernauts of the Pac10 have one loss. Neither USC nor Cal can take another loss. That makes this upcoming game a make or break affair.
Sidenote: The drop of 18 places (for both Ole Miss and Cal) is the farthest I have ever seen. Even when the super overrated #2 USF team in 2007 lost to unranked Rutgers, they only fell about 10 slots. I am at a loss for words why these two team fell as much as they did. It is an alarming trend to see team fluctuate as much as they have. Losing one game deserves a fall in the rankings, but in these days with the horrid BCS system wherein polls matter, seeing teams free fall from one loss (in the case of Ole Miss... 6 lousy points) is telling. It either means they were heavily overrated when they lost (meaning they shouldn't be there and thus the polls were wrong) or there is a heavy schism in pollsters. More on that wacky conspiracy later.
The NHL season is upon us. The season opens with two games in Stockholm, Sweden between the Detroit Red Wings and the St. Louis Blues. I'm expecting both of these games to feel like home games for Detroit being that half of their roster is Swedish and played for the gold medal hockey team in the '06 Olympic games. The tickets for both games sold out with minutes of them being released, so that will make Darth Bettman, regardless, so I'm sure he did that on purpose. Anyway, here's the scoop on the West:
Anaheim Ducks I don't think this is the year the team changes their name to the "California Mighty Ducks of Anaheim," but it seems to be on the horizon. But the Ducks are no longer Mighty have been showing that as of late. They squeaked into the playoffs last season only to make a quick exit in the first round. The off-season acquisition of the Flying Finn Saku Koivu could really pay off to aide Scott Niedermeyer in leading a young Ducks team. Though Jonas Hiller took the starting goaltender job from Jean-Sebastien Giguere last season, Hiller should be careful he doesn't lose the job to another newcomer. Watch for youngsters James Wisniewski and Nick Boynton to step as the top youths. The Pacific Division seems to change from year to year, so if the Ducks want to prevail they'll need to do well against their inter-division opponents.
Calgary Flames Coach Mike Keenan made another unceremonious exit as he was released by the Flames after a disappointing first round loss last season. This was Keenan's 8th NHL team and was last heard to be preparing for a tour of the Minneapolis Metropolitan Pee-Wee hockey league. Good luck, Mr. Keenan. As for the Flames and new head coach Brent Sutter, I wouldn't expect them to challenge for the Division Championship barring a meteor striking the other arenas of the Northwest Division. With very few pick ups over the summer, plus a new coach and new system the team needs to learn, the Flames will have enough on their plate to keep them busy without worrying about leading the division. Don't be surprised if they miss the playoffs this year.
Chicago Blackhawks Since the death of infamous owner Bill Wirtz, once quoted as saying that he would never finance a winning team because "Stanley Cups cost too much," the Hawks have been flying high. The Central Division war between the Blackhawks and Red Wings will be worth keeping an eye on throughout the season, as I am predicting that one of the two will represent the Western Conference in the Stanley Cup Finals come spring. While the signing of Marian Hossa was the biggest name they brought in this off-season, keep in mind that Hossa was bothered by a shoulder injury late in the postseason. Ex-Devil John Madden will also add some help up front, taking the place of departed Samuel Pahlsson. The coaching staff has high expectations for goalie Cristobal Huet, with so much confidence they were able to drop The Bulin Wall.
Colorado Avalanche The Avs have diminished into a shadow of what they once were (much to my despire, I assure you). Since they moved from Quebec in 1995, this is the first year they'll have to rebuild. With no real players of note (especially since Joe Sakic announced his retirement), and no exceptional acquisitions this past summer, the team will be looking towards new coach Joe Sacco for guidence back towards the light. Bringing in former Florida back-up Craig Anderson to start (that's how you know it's bad), don't look for the Avs to make post-season. But don't worry Av fans, people in Detroit will always hate you.
Columbus Blue Jackets Congratulations, B.J.s! You did it! You made the playoffs! What? You got swept in the first round? Oh...well...this is awkward...Oh? And you sent one of your top scoring forwards back to division rival Detroit? Um...you don't think you're going to make the playoffs this year, do you? Your only goal scorer now is Rick Nash, your goaltender Steve Mason is in his sophomore (slump?) season, and even though your coach Ken Hitchcock has lost all kinds of weight, I still think he looks like the former manager of the Undertaker, Paul Bearer. If you guys want to have a shot, someone besides Nash is going to have score goals, and someone besides Mason is going to have to keep the puck out of the net (i.e. defensemen). Good luck and God's speed.
Dallas Stars The biggest reason the Stars were in the news last season was the Sean Avery debacle (now making trouble with the Rangers). With a new GM in Joe Nieuwendyk and new coach Marc Crawford (still lookin' spiff with his 'doo), the Stars are hoping to make the playoffs ::insert thumbs up here::!
Crawford is part of an elite squad of the NHLs epic hair styles
Actually, without acclaimed GM Brett Hull, the Stars already have a better chance of making the playoffs than they did last year. Though several of their core players have taken off (Sergei Zubov went off to Russia, Brendan Morrison went to meet up with Ovechkin), the Stars are also looking to rebuild. Crawford has a tall order in front of him, but given his track record, it would be difficult to find someone better suited for the task.
Detroit Red Wings As former coach Jacques Demers once said, "We gotta lotta yoot and a bunch a utter guys." By dropping Chris Chelios, the Wings have already dropped the average age of the team by 70 years. The re-acquisition of Jason Williams will give the Wings some more power up front, with the defensive duo of Lidstrom and Rafalski in charge of protecting Osgood. Goaltending may be the only question mark for Detroit this year, with Osgood's inconsistency and a lifetime minor-leaguer Jimmy Howard the only other option. Though Ozzie often comes up big come playoff time, the Wings will be jockeying for the top spot in the division all year with soaring Chicago. Anything less than a division win will greatly deflate the Wings egos and could effect their play in the post season. Look for yoots Justin Abdelkader (former Spartan!) and Ville Leino to get more action and score some goals for Detroit.
Edmonton Oilers After missing the playoffs for the third straight season, Edmonton will be looking for some big time improvements. The acquisition of Nikolai Khabibulin was a start. Khabi is getting older, but like fellow AARP goalie Marty Brodeur, hasn't lost much. Another big change for this team came behind the bench. Ex-Oiler Craig MacTavish was let go for journeyman coach Pat Quinn. GM Steve Tambellini worked so hard over the off-season attempting to recruit Dany Heatley, that he forgot to try to get anyone else that could help this Oiler's offense. Chris Minard coming over from Pittsburgh may not be enough to propel Edmonton into the playoffs, but they will battle with Calgary for a potential eight seed.
Los Angeles Kings The Kings are another team in the West that are going to have a rebuilding year. After finishing last in the division last season, the team went out and got Ryan Smith from the ailing Avalanche. They were also able to re-sign defenseman Jack Johnson (though Tom O'Leary opted for the European leagues). Watch for center Anze Kopitar to turn some more heads this year with his scoring drive. The Kings are also putting a lot of stock in 21-year-old Jonathan Bernier to mind the LA net this year and many years in the future. The Kings are really trying to build from the ground up, putting a lot of responsibility on their recent draft picks rather than looking for major trades. This may pay off for them a few years down the road, but don't expect to see their names on the playoff schedules this year.
Minnesota Wild After missing the playoffs by only a few points, the Wild went into overhaul this summer. They fired their original GM, the head coach resigned, and they let of the last original Wild. Of all the recent expansion teams, many say they have been the most successful. I would agree but modify: They are the only one of the expansion teams to have any success. Even some of the others that have made they playoffs have made such unceremonious exits that it's not really worth calling them successes. I think it's because Minnesota actually deserves to have a hockey franchise and their first one never should've left! The addition of Martin Havlat will bring some points up front, and it will be a close race at the end of the season for Minnesota to make the playoffs.
Nashville Predators The Preds took a step back this summer by exporting seven members of the team and bringing in a dude who played in Finland last year...cha-ching! Well, it's not like they're in a tough division...oh, wait. Everyone else in the division made the playoffs last year? Yikes! Steve Sullivan will once again be called upon to lead this inexpereinced team to what will probably be another disappointing season in the Music City. Not like anyone cares out there. Pekka Rinne will take the starting goaltender position, one that hasn't been kept warm for more than year since Tomas Vokoun left. Look for a kid named Jonathon Blum on the back line for Nashville this year. Last year's CHL defensive player of the year may help out to keep the goals against down the Preds.
Pheonix Coyotes The biggest headline the Coyotes have made recently all have to do with the controversy over their sale. The Not-So-Great One is no longer behind the bench, in his place, former defenseman Ulf Samuelsson. The 'Yotes still have Shane Doan to tread the waters, but with a team that hasn't been competetive in several seasons. Bringing in Adrian Aucoin from Calgary for the blue line will help and may be paired with Jim Vandermeer. Goaltending will be fickle all year as Ilya Bryzgalov steps in again. It's difficulut to say if the Coyotes are even working towards the playoffs but rather fighting to stay alive with all of the financial troubles. Expect small crowds at the rink and a last place finish.
San Jose Sharks The Sharks were the winners of the big Dany Heatley contest. While Heatley will bring some scoring prowess to the lineup (if he wants to), the Sharks still have some forces in the lineup like Patrick Marleau and Rob Blake. The sharks did trim of the fat this off-season as well, waving good-bye to Jeremy Roenick and Claudia Lemieux (HALLELUJAH!). The Sharks also sent quite a few other players packing, including goalie Brian Boucher and Jonathan Cheechoo. While I'm predicting the Sharks to do well in such a disparate division, I wouldn't put all my money on them quite yet come post-season. It would be very easy for the Sharks to go down on one stumble on the way to the playoffs. They have what they need to compete in their division, but it may not be enough to hold up against the rest of the top teams in the conference.
St. Louis Blues Well, last year the Blues made the playoffs despite the fates being against them. Budding star Erik Johnson, scorer Paul Kariya, and captain Eric Brewer all had surgery to repair injuries. Not only did they persevere and comfortably make the playoffs, they also had the best record in the second half of the regular season. Imagine what they'll do with their big guns back in the lineup. Andy Murray will have to make sure that the younsters on this team keeps their heads on straight. Just because the injured guys are coming back into the lineup means they'll have it on Easy Street this year. Chris Mason will have some of the heat taken off of him as the starter with solid back-up Ty Conklin coming over from Detroit to help him out. Don't overlook the Blues in the fight for the top spot in the Central Division. They will challenge both Detroit and Chicago.
Vancouver Canucks The Canucks will be making a real push to dominate the Northwest Division this year and carry into the playoffs. They brought in scorers Mikael Samuelsson and Matthieu Schneider will re-signing the Sedin brothers. The only name they lost this off-season was Mattias Ohlund. They're making their push for the Cup this year. They'll be lead by the Sedins and goalie Roberto Luongo. I'm predicting they'll run the division. Whether or not they'll take Stanley will be up to them. Don't forget about Pavol Demitra, he can score, too. Picking up Christian Erhoff and Brad Lukowich from San Jose will also add some muscle to a bulked (and expensive) lineup. Oh, and don't forget, Vancouver is hosting the Winter Olympics this year. Watching medals and a Stanley be awarded in this city would be a storybook ending for the fans here.
I was able to finish my latest mission with time left over to attend Sunday's Lions game against the Washington Redskins. I'll admit I wasn't really expecting them to win, though as with the last 19 games and for the years prior, I was hopeful.
The company I was with wasn't as optimistic
Being a fan of in Michigan for the most part is much like riding a roller coaster. At the top of the hill we have the Red Wings, sometimes the Pistons, Shock (though no one watches the Shock, they are usually in the top of the WNBA for what its worth), and whichever D1 college decides to play well in a particular year. At the bottom of the hill, the Lions have made a permanent home and are sometimes (though not this year) visited by the Tigers and the whichever D1 college didn't decide to play well. But just because the Lions set up shop in the cellar doesn't mean one should give up. The Tigers were abysmal throughout most of the 90's and the Red Wings were the Dead Things through the 70's and 80's. The Pistons dropped after their back-to-back championships in the early 90's. The trend is they all came out of it. For the Red Wings, it was 42 years between Stanley Cups. For the Lions, it looks like it's going to take longer. But look on the bright side...William Clay Ford is really old and will hopefully die soon! As soon as the Chicago Blackhawks hated own Bill Wirtz died, the Hawks make a playoff run and threaten to win the Central Division! Maybe that's all it will take for the Lions, too. So don't give up, Lions fans, the day will come, they will one day be a contender. For the older Detroit fans who may not live longer than Ford, well, at least you got to see the Lions win championships in the 50's? And let's all look on the bright side, at least Scott Mitchell isn't here anymore!
It will be stunning, really, if any team west of CST makes it past the Wild Card round of the playoffs this year. Truly, this is a safe prediction on my part; as of now, only Los Angeles and California qualifies among those who have clinched a playoff spot. Colorado is perilously close to missing the wildcard, thanks in no small part to a hard charge by the Atlanta Braves, a team that is moving quicker back to relevancy than General Sherman did to Atlanta itself. Should this happen, give all the credit in the world to that pitching staff. While Vazquez, Lowe, and Jurrjens shouldn't be confused with Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz, their incredible (especially Vazquez) performances this year and of late are the reason Atlanta is making such a push to be part of the postseason. Let us also acknowledge the horse that is Tommy Hanson. It truly is a testament to the Bravos stubbornness/patience to wait until July to recall the kid, as Hanson has won slightly more than every other start since being recalled. He has enough confidence and enough stuff to be a potential 2003 Josh Beckett in the playoffs.
That being said, let us analyze my picks for the A/NLCS games in beer form.
Boston Red Sox & Samuel Adams Octoberfest - Half of America's forced favorite rivalry, the team seems to be getting hot at the right time. This, of course, assumes they clinch with a magic number of 1. If Lester and Beckett maintain their forms of late and Andrew Daisuke Matsuzaka shows the ability he often demonstrated in the Far East Ball, the team will knock off the Angels. The Angels have been vulnerable to the heater this year and, let's face it, are hexed against the Sox in the postseason.
New York Yankees & Brooklyn Pennant Ale '55 - You were expecting someone else? Right now, they'd have to be considered the favorites. The other half of America's forced favorite rivalry, what more really needs to be said about them?
Atlanta Braves and Sweetwater Blue 420 - Call me crazy. I think they not only make the wild card, but also beat the Phillies! I have nothing to back this up, especially since it is possible they won't have a 100 RBI man (McCann is pretty close...), but that pitching staff is lighting it up. They seem to have a 2007 Rockies vibe about them, and that's good enough for me.
St. Louis Cardinals and Busch - Surprised? Don't be. I picked Busch Heavy/Fat, depending on your vernacular, because Fat Albert Pujols is showing all signs of being a robot or just flat-out superhuman. Carpenter and Wainwright, too, have been spectacular and conditions seem right for them to simply waltz back into the World Series.
While I don't pretend to state this is what actually will happen, note that even replacing the Braves with the Rockies still leaves a preponderance of baseball to CST or east. Get ready West Coasters for World Series games at 5 PM.
Dear Coach Morris, I am excited to see that Josh finally gets a chance to start. Josh Johnson, that is. The little known project QB from San Diego and the primary source of all TB offense gets the nod over the other Josh (Freeman). The Byron Leftwich experiment is over. So much for a smoke screen.
As I have long contended, Josh Freeman will amount to nothing in the NFL and his drafting will set the Bucs franchise back at least 5 years. This, of course, would be unknown to you, dear readers. On a message board immediately following Freeman's draft, I wrote:
[All stats are 2008's]
Player A: 136.48 Rating, 2,945 passing yards, 20 TDs, 8 INTs, 15 times sacked Player B: 136.19 Rating, 2,934 passing yards, 19 TDs, 13 INTs, 21 times sacked
Fairly even numbers, though one guy clearly took a few more hits and made a couple more INTs. Slap some names on them and your view (likely) changes. Player A is Mr. Freeman. Player B is Billy Farris on Colorado State. Farris played on a far worse team and ended up doing virtually the same thing? Not exactly a ringing endorsement. One year of stats, though, is hardly an apt comparison. I just wanted to throw that out there for my own devices.
However, the pick, as a Bucs fan, is most perplexing because Tampa took a mobile, rocket armed, project QB named Josh last year and is probably further along in an NFL S&C program, and possibly the new playbooks, than the draft pick Josh is. Add the fact that TB went out of their way to sign Leftwich as a "smoke screen" (and in all likelihood will not even keep him through camp) PLUS the blurbs on ESPN saying that his biggest weaknesses were consistency and decision making, two traits the Bucs QBs certainly haven't lacked in recent memory PLUS the fact that they paid to move up to grab Freeman two picks earlier when he would still likely be available makes his selection at 17 all the more expensive and puzzling (and terrible, in my opinion). I thought the Gruden era of carrying 5+ QBs was over.
Especially given the multitude of needs on the TB team, the pick is tenuous at best and franchise crippling at very worst. The wound wouldn't be mortal, but it could be a long time towards relevancy.
This sentiment holds no less true today. Josh Freeman, for all of his alleged merits and drawbacks, will never be given a fair shot in Tampa. The FO has recognized this, going so far as to proclaim their marriage, a'la Ricky Williams and Mike Ditka. The fans, bandwagon or locals, will probably be cheering Freeman upon his entrance and booing upon his first incompletion. I myself want Freeman to succeed and am willing to eat any crow with any topping served if and or when he succeeds. I, however, personally believe he will be a massive failure.
I say all that to say this: Why not start Freeman if you have him? Many would argue that it will shatter his confidence and some such nonsense. If Freeman isn't ready to face the music in Tampa now, especially in a vacuous QB situation such as exists presently, will he ever be? Expectations will not be tempered over the long haul even if he doesn't start right away. Matthew Stafford is starting (and failing, of sorts) in Detroit, and you have said you would take Freeman #1 overall:
"You know, I made this statement the other day. If I had the Detroit Lions pick at No. 1, I might have taken Josh Freeman. I might have been fighting for him. Our owner is very excited, they haven't had an opportunity to be this excited for 15 years and they are really pumped up. They've got a chance for a franchise quarterback, man. That's our quarterback, to quote T.O." - Head Coach Raheem Morris on drafting Josh Freeman per the St. Pete Times
If you're going to hold Freeman up to the #1 pick standard, treat him like such. I don't want to see you fluffing him in the aftermath of the draft, then treating him like a baby when he actually has a chance to prove he's the true QB of the future. Pick a side, Raheem. You don't get two bites at the apple. If you really think Johnson is a career backup, like you've been on record saying, SACK UP AND THROW FREEMAN OUT THERE. If not, please step aside and let someone else run the show. You can also take my initial suggestion.
On the other hand, major kudos for starting Johnson. I love that kid.
It's not the 4th week of the season, but we need to catalog this properly. Every Sunday-Monday we will wrap up the past week's goings ons in a simple to understand format. We talk about the top 5 in some detail, then we give one sentence about the rest of the top 25. Then for the non-ranked teams in the important conferences, we give them snippets of sentences. We do not reward mediocrity here at Potluck Sports, thus those snippets are all bound in to one giant paragraph. Enjoy.
Top 25: 1 Florida - Kentucky Reaction by a non-UF fan: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG TIM TEBOW IS HUMAN OMG OMG OMG. Reaction by a UF Fan: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG TIM TEBOW IS HUMAN OMG OMG OMG. Reaction by a rational human being: Mild concussion plus side effects of the flu that had been affecting their whole roster. Florida has a bye AND without Tebow, Florida's offense will not fall apart like the economy did starting last September and it will not be lights out terrible. Florida will go back to its 2006 offense run under Chris Leak with which they won a National Championship. Have a nice day.
2 Texas - UTEP UTEP walked into a buzzsaw named Texas.
3 Alabama - Arkansas Arkansas : Tackling :: Jewish People : Ham Alabama was certainly helped by this.
4 Ole Miss - South Carolina Fail. Not as bad as you'd think seeing as how Ole Miss was heavily overrated and also counting how Houston Nutt loses games he should never lose (but conversely he wins when he shouldn't). So yes, fail, but not that bad.
5 Penn State - Iowa Penn State was punched in the balls for the second straight year by Corn, JoePa looked like a wet rat on the field and worse still, it was rainy and everyone was wearing white which was a terrible fashion faux pas. White after labor day!? As if!
Other Teams in the top 25: 6 Cal got obliterated by an irate Oregon team. 7 LSU dodged a bullet named Mississippi State 8 Boise State ran over Bowling Green 9 Miami's offense were consciencious observers at 11 Va Tech and refused to get off the bus in protest 12 USC was rather subdued in their yearly murdering of Washington State 13 Ohio State sleepwalked over the fighting Zookers... Terrell Pryor is still on "Overrated Watch" 14 Cincy continued its silent march to possibly going underdefeated over feisty Fresno State 15 TCU escaped Clemson 16 Oklahoma State blew up Grambling State 17 Houston skinned by TTech in an exciting game 18 Florida State OMGLOLZORZ to USF 19 BYU went nuts on Colorado State 20 Kansas and 21 Georgia survived assassination attempts from Southern Miss and Arizona St. respectively 22 North Carolina continued its wacky inconsistency against Georgia Tech 23 Michigan was a huge homecooking highway robbery call in their favor from losing to Indiana 24 Washington celebrated their win over USC last week by losing to unranked Stanford and giving up 321 rushing yards 25 Nebraska eviscerated UL-Lafayette by halftime
OMG !!!!!!!!!!! 17-7!
Elsewhere: Michigan State finally lost a game on their own accord and not by wacky video game stupidity ways to Wisconsin. Minnesota edged by Northwestern. Notre Dame required miracle finish again to win against a Big Ten team. Tennessee looked bad against Ohio. Auburn's offense is 180 degrees different this year compared to last year solely because it scores points. Vandy beat Rice. Mizzou slipped by Nevada. K-State crushed a D2 school (calling card of Bill Snyder: D2 schools' random bloody body parts strewn across the field in Manhattan). Iowa State defeated Army... they are SO not patriotic! Baylor cruised over a D2 school. Texas A&M is 3-0! UCONN is boring but beats teams they should. Ditto for Rutgers. NC State nipped the Wannstache. Greg Paulus hit a few late free throws to lead Syracuse over Maine. Louisville was in trouble... before they got beat by Utah. Duke won its SECOND game! Finally, BC beat Wake Forest in what scientists believe was the boringest overtime game ever.
With the incredibly boring weekend college football had this weekend--despite some of the upsets--the most exciting thing I watched this weekend was the Saturday night boxing match between WBC Heavyweight champ Vitali Klitschko and Cristobel Arreola. And this was in no way a close match.
Dr. Iron Fist holds a Ph.D. in sports medicine
Much of the pre-fight talk surrounded on the vast age difference between the Arreola and Klitschko. Would Cristobel finally wear the big man down? Klitschko had never lost a fight before tonight through the scorecard or knock-out. Only two losses--the most notable to Lenox Lewis four years ago--were from the referee stopping the fight due excessive bleeding on the part of Vitali's face. Arreola trailed in punches thrown and landed the whole fight. He didn't land anything of great impact until the 4th round when he finally connected on a few while Klitschko was sitting back on his heels. His nose opened up in the 8th which provided much needed distraction from the insightful advice from his corner coach (my favorite, "Keep your feet under you"). The 8th round also brought 13 landed punches for the guy who wants to be the next Jack Johnson, his highest of the match. The fight ended after the 10th round when the ref stopped it after it looked like Arreola's was just going out there to get the crap kicked out of him. There was no way he was going to win anyway, so I guess it makes sense. Arreola's made himself look better by crying at the end of the fight (actually that made him look worse). The sad part was Arreola was supposedly the biggest competition the WBC champion has seen in several years or will see in the immediate future. Vitali and his brother Wladimir are probably the two best fighters probably in the world right now. While Vitali made it clear after the fight with Arreola, Cris has what it takes to be heavyweight champion some day. Well, after watching this fight that doesn't hold much hope for the futre of boxing, because this fight reminded me of a scene from Indiana Jones...the one where this guy jumps out of nowhere with this fancy sword fighting, and Jones just shoots him like he's nothing. It seems to me that right now the only boxers who could beat the Klitschkos are, in fact, the Klitschkos. The fact that they vowed never to fight each other in a professional match could mean that these two will not be beat until they either decide to break this pact or until they both retire. Wladimir hold the IBF, WBO, and IBO heavyweight titles. That's four belts between the brothers. That's alot. I really think it is going to take either retirement on the part of these brothers or a Rocky type no name fighter to shock the world. So why isn't Klitschko the household name that Tyson and Holyfield are? Because they're not American? Possibly. But really it's because nobody relaly cares about boxing. And that's kind of sad. What better time could be had then watching two guys get thrown into a box with each other and their only instructions are to beat the living piss out of the other guy? Really? So my advice is to watch boxing. Also, you should watch the Klitschkos. Probably the only reason these two aren't more popular than Mike Tyson is because they aren't assholes like he was. They're actually act respectfully being figures for their sport. Who woulda thought? Professional athletes who aren't dumb and embarrass the entire human race? Shirely, not.
There's a less than stellar lineup of games this weekend on the college side and only few good games on the pro side. Thus we begin a new weekly feature called "What to Eat/Drink/Do This Weekend" wherein someone on the staff will tell you what to eat, drink and do. Hopefully, you picked up on the subtlety.
WHAT TO EAT:
The Bacon Explosion!
Behold! The Bacon Explosion in all of its fattening and amazing glory!
What is the bacon explosion you ask? According to BBQaddicts.com, it is "America's Hottest Barbecue Recipe" and it can be order from their site! Read here for the specific info as well as some breathtaking pictures. Here is a quick rundown of the operation: 2 pounds of thick cut bacon, 2 pounds of Italian sausage, 1 jar of your favorite BBQ sauce and 1 jar of your favorite BBQ rub. They weave, yes like the artform, a net of bacon 5 pieces by 5 pieces. Then add the BBQ rub. Then they spread out the raw sausage over the netting and then take the remaining bacon and cook it (either soft like at Denny's or crispy like at IHOP... it's to your liking) and sprinkle that over the sausage layer. They then add their favorite BBQ sauce and then ROLL THE THING UP! Then they add rub, grill it, add BBQ sauce and eat it. It is massive as you may imagine. From their site, you can buy it. 1/2 of one runs you 18 bucks, 30 for a whole. They cut you a deal when buying multiple ones. If you are lucky enough to live in Kansas City, you can buy it at the KC BBQ Store.
I highly recommend this to anyone who either loves bacon, loves live yet doesn't fear death. A sextuple bypass is required for multiple time users. Other than going out in an avalanche of supermodels, I can't think of a better way to go out.
WHAT TO DRINK:
LABATT BLUE!
I don't know your take on Canadians. Yes, I know. They are hard to trust what with them being socialists and all. Plus they like "a hockey" and they use something called "kilograms" to measure the speed of their horseless carriages or whatever they call cars. However you feel about them, you can't get around this. Canadians know beer. Yes, Americans drink beer, but Canadians can make it. It's not like there are any "American" mass produced beers out there except Yuengling (candidate for future WHAT TO DRINK!), so you may as well buy beer from the continent that doesn't require a lime, mariachi band or beach filled with pretentious morons to be enjoyed.
You can find Labatt Blue in any legit supermarket and yes, it is slightly more expensive, but Christ it tastes good. In Michigan, it is cheaper than most regular mass produced beer. We will get to microbrews later, but right now this beer needs its spotlight.
Hmmm... Coors light (water) or Miller High Life (Bat urine)? How about Labatt Blue? A cold Labatt and a Bacon Explosion will make you love life regardless of how bad it is.
WHAT TO DO:
On Saturday, watch gameday. Duh.
Noon You have either regional action on your local channels or the Big Ten invasion of ESPN/ESPN2 or South Florida-Florida State. Our money is on the MSU-WisCANsin game, not only because of television rights with the future Mrs. Quicksilver, but also because we don't want to listen to the announcer slob over Michigan and to hear about how "OMG THEY R SAVED!!!!1" when they demolish Indiana. We also don't want to see FSU complete the inconsistency circle by showing up during the second half in full jousting gear.
3:30 ABC has some solid regional action, particular on both seaboards and the south. However the heartland will get tortured by watching Ohio State and Illinois play in a predictably terrible game which will be both boring and over by the end of the first quarter. CBS has Alabama and Arkansas. The vote is for 'Bama-Arky but only because we need to find out if the Arkansas offense is a myth or true.
Night Florida at Kentucky should be fun. Especially if UF actively tries to give the Wildcats swine flu by catapulting reserve tight ends on to their sidelines. ABC has Iowa-Penn State, which many seem to think will be good. Joe Paterno is disgusted that it's a night game because he wanted to be in bed by 9 to watch Matlock reruns on his local CW affiliate. Also there is notre dame-Purdue and TTech-Houston. TTech-Houston gets the nod, but because we will see more than 100 total pass attempts.
Sunday: Though it may not matter thanks to the rigid blackout policy and retardity of the NFL Sunday Ticket exclusivity agreement thus forcing you to watch what they give you, we do recommend Atlanta @ New England (FOX) and Tennessee @ the Jets (CBS) for the early games. Follow this with Miami @ San Diego late (CBS) and then the Indy-Arizona game at night and you, friend, will have had a great weekend.
Especially if you get a Bacon Explosion and a 24 pack of Labatt.
Look, I’d rather not type this, either. The fact of the matter is that Miami is going to win this one walking away.
Virginia Tech usually has one of the top defensive units in the land, thanks in part to a strong, ingrained philosophy of, well, defense. The viewer, of course, would be pretty hard pressed to see this over the course of the first few games. VT surrendered nearly 500 yards to Alabama, TBTITCRN (The Best Team in the Country Right Now), so that’s forgivable. Consider, though, that VT also surrendered nearly 350 yards to Nebraska, a team with not much else outside of RB Roy Helu, Jr. (Note to you Cornhusker fans: I had a dream that I was run over by Tommy Frazier the other night. It’s been nearly 15 years and I still get the heebie-jeebies thinking about that game. I was 9!). Bo Pelini has that team on the right track, though.
Let us also precaution against dubbing Miami ‘back’ so quickly. I would not be remiss in mentioning that both Florida State and Georgia Tech has a pass defense that’s ranked about the 25th percentile in the nation [translation: they blow]. That being said, Mark Whipple, a former Brown quarterback, was drawing up more cogent offensive schemes and gameplans in his 4th grade P.E. class than Patrick Nix could ever draw, even in epiphany type situations. It is also worth noting, yet again, that Brown University makes an appearance on this blog, despite none of the authors ever having attended there, or even setting foot on its hallowed grounds. Brian Griffin would no doubt be pleased.
Miami wins this game because they are designed to attack the VT defense that Foster likes to play. Travis Benjamin, a kid who I absolutely admire, is turning out to be the real deal at WR so far in his career. Jarvarris James and Graig Cooper are going to run roughshod over these VT defenders. Jacory Harris has proven competent enough this year thus far to prove he deserves the respect of the country. Miami’s D-Line depth is sufficient enough to keep Tyrod Taylor from pretending he is starring in a live-action NCAA Football ’10 game and running like a chicken with its head cut off around the field. If Miami can contain the run as well as they did against the Ramblin’ Wrecks, VT has no offense. As John Madden (or Frank Caliendo channeling John Madden) once said, “If you don’t score more points than the other team, you probably won’t win the game. TINACTIN!”
Miami over VT.
Slate: This game used to mean something. It used to be about convicts and a blue collared team fighting it out in a backyard slugfest where the winner would instantly win the Big East. My how things changed the past few years since the vanguard of the Big East changed addresses to the ACC. Va Tech is still a blue collared team, but not nearly as feared as they used to be. Miami is certainly not the team of parolees and future federal prison inmates that they used to be. Va Tech is still sitting their position "very goodness" and Miami is trying to reassume the title of "slaughterhouse of a team." Unlike in the old days, this game could be boring because Va Tech and Tyrod Taylor (his 2345th year of eligibility) can't move the ball and Miami hasn't been truly tested yet (FSU is wildly inconsistent and GT has no defense).
Miami over VT.
Annie:
I'll go with Va Tech for an upset because it's an El Nino year and Miami is too unpredictable
VT over Miami
TTech @ (17) Houston
Iroquois: This ought to be a REAL fun matchup here. Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the offensive passing numbers of their quarterbacks. Riding high off of their big win against noted Leghumper slayers Oklahoma State, Houston seems primed for an upset, especially since, much like the rest of the Breadbasket region, defense is not highest on the priority totem pole. Whoever scores last wins.
Houston over TTech.
Slate: First to 85 pass attempts wins.
TTech over Houston
Annie: Who really cares?
(6) Cal @ Oregon
Iroquois: As long as Kevin Riley can do his best imitation of Brad Johnson, circa 2002 Tampa Bay, or Trent Dilfer, circa 2000 Baltimore, I don’t see how the Cal Golden Bests can lose to the typically inconsistent and maddening play of the Oregon Nike Live Action Test Dummies.
Slate: Kentucky wins only if the CDC quarantines the Gator football team on the tarmac at Lexington's airport. Otherwise this could be the week Florida's offense wakes up and creates enough death and destruction that the stock market will fall due to safety concerns.
Florida over Kentucky.
Iroquois: Being purposefully sparse…
Florida over Kentucky.
Michigan State @ Wisconsin
Iroquois: With all due respect to one of the author’s alma maters, I would probably much rather read the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure than to watch Big 11 football. I wouldn’t fall asleep as quickly. The result of the “I don’t care” coinflip is…
Wisconsin over MSU.
Slate: Do or die for MSU. They lost the last two weeks thanks to capricious happenings in two consecutive weeks. Wisconsin has virtually no offense and a lackluster defense. MSU, however, has approximately 0 luck.
MSU over WisCANsin
Annie: Hopefully Michigan State
MSU over WisCANsin
(23) Michigan @ Indiana
Slate: Will this be the week Michigan FINALLY faces a real defense not made of marshmellowy goodness? No. They will run over Indiana at will and eventually will call in a cheerleader to be the slot receiver in the second half. But every football fan, particularly those who don't like Michigan, can't wait until they face a real defense with people who can "tackle" or "move."
Iroquois: I call this one the “Keep It in Your Pants, Unless You is [Author’s Note: Word 2007 auto-corrected “you’re” to “you is”. I wish I was making this up.] A Real Degenerate Gambler” call of the week. UNC has an excellent run defense. GT, when they properly execute, has a decided schematic advantage and has the third best running back in the nation in the backfield. I like GT to rebound from the thrashing they saw last week. I also want to avoid completely chalking a week’s worth of picks.
GT over UNC.
Slate: Both teams were expected to do great things. GT flopped against Miami, survived Clemson and lethargically beat Jacksonville State. UNC slept through the Citadel, dodged a bullet with a quadrapalegic Connecticut team and then outlast East Carolina. It just comes down to if GT can move the ball. If yes, GT wins a close one. If no, the Jackets get sprayed by a giant raid can by Butch Davis. I vote for the latter.
UNC over GT
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
By Slate Quicksilver
It can be reasonable inferred by any human being with two properly functioning ears that song Kenny Chesney wrote and performed for ESPN's college football telecasts is a musical abomination. The views of country music with regards to the authors for this site run the gamut from "ambivalent" to "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE." But it depends on where you grew up, what you listened to growing up, what your parents listened to and several other influences. I, myself, am in the "DIE DIE DIE" category. Butthat is because where and when I grew up, it was all about 70s rock, Weird Al Yankovic and classical music. I could point to any of 5 million reasons why country music sucks and a fan of said music could perhaps give me 5 million reasons why it is awesome. We would be at an impasse, then agree that techno music sucks and be on with our lives.
If I really was pressed, I could go on a massive diabtribe about what is wrong with country music. The biggest one problem is the fact that country music isn't country music anymore. Back in the day, most country performers sang gut wretching and soul crushing songs about how a woman left them because of both of their drinking problems or basically how life is shit and that will never change.
Nowadays it's solely about fun and women and tractors. Oh? What's that? You can't wait to get back from Dallas to see your gal and go out on the lake and have a brew with her? That's so... bright and cheery. She thinks your tractor is sexy? She must have sexual problems.
Other than lyrics going from "my life sucks" to "YAY HAPPINESS!", country music is essentially rock music with a fiddle and maybe a slide guitar. Listen to any country on any pop country radio station and you'll hear a rock song or ballad that has a fiddle and it is magically transformed into country. Fiddle = Country Music. Oh, and let's not even touch auto-tune any further than "EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO IS IN THE COUNTRY MUSIC BUSINESS USES AUTO TUNE LIKE IT IS WHAT GIVES THEM OXYGEN!"
This diatribe could spill into how the only people who make it these days are good looking people (see: Swift, Taylor or Underwood, Carrie) when back in the day, looks were certainly not important. It was about the voice, the story and how awesome you were at guitar, banjo, fiddle, nose kazoo, etc. There's no argument rock has changed but country music has changed just as much but in a far shorter lifetime. It's already on life support. The day the County Music Television has a show like "Date my Horse" or "Pimp my Boots" will be the day country music dies. It's MTV with jeans and a silly hat as it is. Hank Williams Sr. and Johnny Cash are certainly rolling in their graves.
So why this random tangent? Elementary, dear Watson. Back to Mr. Chesney and his terrible song. As it turns out, that song was only for "opening weekend, very big games and the last day of the regular season." says ESPN spokesman Michael Humes. Well that saves our ears a bit, but it reminds us that Dave Matthews Band is the official band of ESPN College Football. The same Dave Matthews Band that is the most overrated band in the history of ever.
As our parting shot, I welcome you to go and read this article for the sake of having the other side's view: http://blog.cmt.com/2009-08-28/kenny-chesneys-espn-song-scores-big. Note a few things. One, this person clearly knows little about college football. This is tipped off by the fact that the picture happens to be the Buccaneers-Dolphins perseason game. They play in "NFL Conference", I guess. But read it and see the cluelessness. Then go down and feast on some wonderful comments like: Love me some Kenny & the VOLS!!!! GO VOLS!!!! (from Katie) or "Go to the ESPN site for college football and see how much them college football fans and especially men are angry that Kenny is singing the song. They hate the idea that Kenny’s music is going to be played before the game." from janetgijoenurse. But then get to the one liners in succession: janetgijoenurse … I went to the college football site on ESPN but can’t find anyone bashing Kenny or his song. Where are you seeing this? / she made it up! / I think she did too! / No one can answer? / Google, Kenny Chesney This is our moment. They are bashing him…..idiots.
This is capped off with a powerful one liner that shows clarity and logic which is rare in an internet comment board: Terrible Song is Terrible. You are right, FLATGillig. That's followed by some real Kenny haters: that music is bad and you should feel bad for liking it / Are you kidding me? This song sucks. Kenny Chesney is terrible, and I like country music. Nothing about that song says football. This blog is ridiculous. / An analogy: Kenny Chesney : Country Music :: [Pick one] Smash Mouth : Rock or Soulja Boy : Hip Hop.
We then close with a picture of what I think sums up the half of country music fans with brains: this music selections for college football sound more like a prelde to a weeding than a football game. Who picked this stuff, OBAMA or some other wimp? Last year’s was great, this year it is depressing rather than high energy. Get with it ESPN.
Last night we happened to see one of the most dominating games, in terms of time of possession, in a long time. The Dolphins held the ball for more than 45 minutes of the game. A ludicrous 3 quarters worth of offensive possession. Doing this to any team is remarkable, devastating and not unlike a group of Dads playing against a group of their 5 year old sons. However they didn't do this to just anyone, they did this to the Colts, a team who has owned the "Ball Control" crown during the Peyton Manning epoch.
The secret to Indy's ball control technique is that they can always run the ball. They control the line of scrimmage, they have a guy who runs up to the line with 3 plays in his head and picks one at a moment's notice at the line depending on the defensive look and they can pass the ball to no less than four receivers on any given pass play. Four receivers who can play, mind you.
So when Miami ate the clock like they were at a Chinese buffet, one would think that Colts got rolled over. Oh no, friend, they didn't. The Colts got several long TDs and their defense only let Miami in the endzone twice and they forced four FG tries in doing so. So major props to the Colts offense for that. But the defense had a pyrrhic victory at best. Yes, they won the game. But again, Miami had the ball for 75% of the game. Letting up anything more than 60% should be considered a failure by most defenses (teams who have Mike Martz on the coaching staff are excused).
So how does Miami do it? And why is it that they have success with the Wildcat when most other teams seem to use it sparingly and poorly?
Let's answer question number 2 first. Teams do not have success with it because they aren't committed to it. The Jaguars, a team whose offense could be classified as "Dick Cheney" in terms of conservativeness, have tried the Wildcat once this year. That was on a 2 point conversion against... the Colts! Maurice Jones-Drew took the snap and immediately ran into a clusterfuck of human beings and did not pop out on the other side in the endzone. Jacksonville was lined up in the wildcat, but this was clearly a gadget play that had maybe a 40-60 percent chance of working. Maybe another time, he blasts through the hole and tied the game up. That time, Mojo had his face sat on by Gary Brackett. The Jags just aren't committed to the Wildcat. So if and when they roll it out again, a team will instantly see it and destroy it because there is a huge chance that either it's a run up the middle or a run off tackle because Mojo probably can't throw the ball more than 10 feet and because the Jags have no other speed X factor backs.
Which brings us to the Dolphins. They actually do have more than one speed X factors on offense. In fact they have 3. Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams and Ted Ginn all take part. Also, the Fins usually have Brown or Williams running horizontally before the snap. This means that there has to be a linebacker shading him, or the linebacking corps has to shift. For the Wildcat, it is basically an 8 on 7 game. The offensive line (5 guys), the tight end (1 guy) and the Running back(s) versus the defensive front (3 or 4) and the linebackers (4 or 3). The secondary is pretty much inconsequential.
Truthfully, the 2ndary is usually inconsequential because in a normal running game, if you get to the secondary, you usually have a big run on your hands. But in the Wildcat it is completely neutralized because they have to stay there for the pass and they then have to either stay at home or shift to the direction of the play.
So in this 7 on 7 game, the linebackers then must choose, is it a handoff to the streaking horizontal RB, or a run up the middle? This is far different than the usual "run left, run right, run middle" protocol. So the LBs make their decision. The defensive line, just like in a normal running play has to either plug gaps or get penetration. So the Wildcat, if not blown up in the backfield (remember its in the shotgun), will be successful as long as blocks are made. For Miami, they have a good O-line, so they can run this offense effectively. Go watch Arkansas run it with Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. They are great runners and they have a great line. That usually means a good running game. Ready to have your mind blown? David Lee, QB coach for the Fins right now, was the O-Coordinator at Arkansas. I'll wait for your head to re-form. But the added element of "being new" is huge, too, and can't be understated.
We're not as good as the guys at smartfootball.com, so instead of a chart with X's and O's, we give you hot cheerleaders. Your thanks is unnecessary.
As for devotion, the Dolphins run it several times per drive. Plus, they run misdirections, counters and reverses (yes, I know the difference between a reverse and an end around). Then on top of all of that, you give Ronnie Brown the ball directly without a handoff that usually forces a run to certain side, 5 yards deep so he can make a read in the line and a good push from the offensive line. That's where 5.7 yards per rush comes from. They dominated a very good defensive line with Indy. The only way to stop it is to force turnovers, field goals and to blitz. Atlanta wasn't afraid to blitz last week. Neither was Baltimore last year in the playoffs. Indy sat back, and they got torched. We'll just shave to see how teams in the future treat it.
As the dawn of a new NHL season lingers, what can we do but prepare and speculate at who will succeed and will fall flat on their asses?The end of last season brought little in the way of surprises: the Islanders finished in last place and the Red Wings made the Finals…imagine my shock.The biggest surprise I think was that the Blue Jackets made the playoffs over the Predators, too bad that was short-lived.
Today I will be previewing the Eastern Conference of the NHL and to keep you in suspense I will wait until later to preview the Western Conference (also because I am short on time as I have to [DELETED INFORMATION]).
2008-09 Final Standings for the East
Atlantic
New Jersey
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
New York R.
New York I.
Northeast
Boston
Montreal
Buffalo
Ottawa
Toronto
Southeast
Washington
Hartford
Florida
Atlanta
Tampa Bay
Atlanta Thrashers
Though the sale of the Phoenix Coyotes has dominated the 7.5 seconds of allotted NHL coverage on ESPN, they’re not the only ones with ownership problems.The Thrashers have been disputing since 2005 over ownership rights and other crap that wouldn’t have happened 20 years ago, and there is rumor that the Thrashers are secretly for sale or will be soon (Doorbuster Power Hour at Kohl’s).The Thrashers finished in fourth place in the Southeast Division.Only once in their nine year history have they managed to make the playoffs and the fans are slowly headed for the parking lot on this team.I still don’t understand why Darth Bettman put another team in Atlanta (can you say ‘Flames’), but here you go.
So Atlanta is struggling to stay afloat while GM Don Waddell is fighting tooth and nail to put together a team that can compete among this legal nonsense.But when your biggest off-season acquisition is Pavel Kubina, you can’t really hold out much hope.My advice is find someone who will hit anything that moves and fight anything
that breaths, that way he’ll get in lots of fights and at least put butts in the seats (is Peter Worrell available?)Don’t count on the Thrashers to make the playoffs barring a Southeastern Division outbreak of H1N1.
Boston Bruins
I have a special place in my heart for the Original Six teams, but I just the utmost respect for a team that names a behemoth like Zdeno Chara as their captain (CHARA SMASH!).An unceremonious exit in the second round last season left the entire region reeling, especially after the slobberknocker of a first round they had against Montreal.Led by Jack Adams winner Claude Julien and Vezina winner Tim Thomas, don’t look to Boston to fall short again this season.The re-signing of an elderly Mark Recchi could be a blessing in disguise.With 23 goals last year between Boston and Tampa Bay, look to him to step up and lead the team in scoring along with Joe Thorton.I’m looking for Boston to secure a playoff position again in convincing fashion since their loss of note this past off-season was Stephane Yelle.I’m also calling my shot right now: t
his is year that Chara eats a player on the ice, let us just hope and pray that it is Sidney Crosby.
Buffalo Sabres
Missing the playoffs last season by two points was a huge blow for Sabres, but they apparently weren’t shaken enough, because very little has changed in terms of their roster from last season.The injury to goaltender Ryan Miller (go green!) left the team out of the postseason.Expect Miller to continue to come through in the clutch this season to make up for it and despite losing the great defenseman Teppo Numminen (also one of the best names in the game, literally) to retirement, the Sabres will compete for a playoff spot with youngsters Chris Butler and Marc-Andre Gragnani stepping up in the back.I’m not exactly sure what they were planning when they brought in Mike Grier, but if nothing else he could add some grit that has proven to favor teams that rely as heavily on goaltending as Buffalo.Having someone to wear down the opposing offense could provide some relief to Miller.But now who’s going to score the goals?Thomas Vanek led the team last year with a 40 goal season, and look to Tim Connolly if he can stay off the IR.
Carolina Hurricanes
A lot of people were surprised to see the Hurricanes make the playoff run they did last year, exiting in the Conference Finals to the Pens, but I really wasn’t.Paul Maurice is good coach.A Finals appearance in ’02 and a Stanley Cup in ’06 has proved that.The biggest hump I think the ‘Canes have to climb over is goaltending.Cam Ward made some good saves in his time, but it’s time for him to either step up or step aside.Michael Leighton’s numbers don’t impress me too much either, with a 2.92 GAA in 19 games, but maybe that’s it: it was only 19 games.If Cam Ward struggles in the first half of this season, the ‘Canes should take a real close look at Leighton.With returning players Eric Staal and Chad LaRose and somehow Rod Brind’Amour is still holding himself together with duct tape, the skaters on this team look poised to make a run in a usually sorry looking Southeast Division.They do have a defenseman in Joni Pitkanen, but in order to take some pressure off the goaltenders the rest of the defenders will need to step up as well.Ultimat
ely, however, Carolina’s rise or fall will come from the net.
Florida Panthers
Another miserable finish for the Cats sent a lot of players packing in the off-season, but they somehow managed to re-sign MSU alum David Booth and Radek Dvorak.They secured former Martin Brodeur backup Scott Clemmensen from the Devils’ to step in for Tomas Vokoun when he realizes that he is better suited for a career in data processing and management (any day now).The Panthers will need to look again to Stephen Weiss to carry the team on his back, but I’m predicting another dead last finish in the division for Florida.Really the only solution here is to go back in time and slap the person who’s idea it was to put an ice-hockey team in South Florida (*cough cough* Bettman).
Montreal Canadiens
The decision to name Guy Carbonneau was difficult for me to swallow.I kept picturing this time when he won the Stanley Cup with Dallas in ’99 and decided that it was a good idea to throw the Cup off a second story balcony into a swimming pool...then he missed the swimming pool and put a huge dent in the base of the Cup!What a freakin’ idiot!Why would you want a dumbass like that running your hockey team!?I’m not surprised that Bob Gainey sent him packing before the season even ended.Even though he wasn’t there, I blame Carbonneau for Montreal’s early exit in last year’s playoffs.What a moron.
I was also saddened to hear the Habs took a pass on the Flying Finn Saku Koivu, a staple in the Montreal locker room for many years, only to bring in Scott Gomez, a player only good when he was with New Jersey.Gainey made a lot of moves over the summer, but it doesn’t look like any of them are really going to benefit the team that much.Picking up Hal Gill from Pittsburgh and Paul Mara from the Rangers I can’t imagine are going sign the Habs up for the playoffs right now.New coach Jaques Martin has a mess to clean-up this year.In a division that be challenging every year, the Canadiens will make the playoffs only if Buffalo, Ottawa, and Toronto once again fall short, which I’m not thinking will happen.
New Jersey Devils
So apparently the Devils are feeling nostalgic as of late, reuniting now aged players Bobby Holik, Brian Rolston, and (personal fav. of mine) Brendan Shanahan.Not to mention bring back Jacques Lemaire as the bench boss.But the Devils are going to have to gun it 88 if they plan on going back in time to the success they had in the mid-‘90s.These players will not produce they way they did when they first started out in the Christmas tree green and red.Throwing Scott Stevens and Martin Brodeur in there may actually give this team a higher average player age than the Red Wings, and that’s saying something. The Devils pulled off a division title last season to be pushed out early in the playoffs.Though Brodeur is about to apply for his AARP card, he is still just as solid in net and won’t be of any concern to Lemaire unless he breaks a hip.They’ll certainly challenge for the top of the division again this year, but look for it to be a closer race unless NJ can pull big numbers from Jamie Langenbrunner and Patrick Elias, two names that have faded as of late.
New York Islanders
I feel a little bit of pity for this year’s first round draft pick.John Tavares is probably checking to make sure his medical insurance is in good order for the coming year.The last first overall pick the Islanders had also faced the same amount of pressure as Tavares, and Rick DiPietro is literally falling apart at the seams.Several surgeries in the last few years has left the Ises front office biting their nails on the future of their long term goaltender, who still has
many years in his many year deal he signed in 2006.The brass went out and signed Dwayne Roloson and Martin Biron as insurance to make sure they have someone in the crease other than goaltending coach Mike Dunham (who I’m sure would have no problem suiting up again, it’s been a couple years since he fell out of the league).
Other than Tavares, who they are expecting to score about 500 goals this year, the Islanders don’t have much else by way of skaters.Doug Weight is barely staying afloat, they have the Austrian Thomas Pock (who went -17 with 3 pts. in 59 games last year) and a prospect from Los Angeles.Things aren’t looking to good for the Isles and I’m expecting them to finish at the bottom of the Atlantic division again this year unless Tavares pulls off a miracle.
New York Rangers
The Rangers are hoping that last year’s midseason coaching change will not come back to haunt them.Bringing in John Tortorella to shake things up last year was working until the Rangers left the playoffs early.Tortorella has one more chance to impress GM Glenn Sather or he will also get the boot.Sather is trying to piece together a competitive team, making a lot of changes over the summer, the most notable acquisition being Marion Gaborik from Minnesota.The retirement of Markus Naslund will hurt the Rangers offensively but maybe Gaborik has what it takes to fill the shoes…maybe.For the first time since Gump Worsley the Rangers aren’t concerned with the netminder, Henrik Lundqvist will be sufficient again this year.Offering Chris Drury as trade bait may have brought in a notable defenseman this offseason, but for some reason Sather wants to keep the 20 goal scorer on the second line.Look out for Sean Avery, the NHL’s Terrell Owens.Hopefully Tortorella will be able to tame the mouth off the ice and get him to channel the energy to being a nuisance on the ice like he was designed.In a conference with so many struggling teams, I see the Rangers fighting for a playoff spot but likely losing it to the more promising Sabres.
Ottawa Senators
The biggest thing the Sens had to deal with this summer was the whining from Dany Heatly, who they were finally able to unload for Jonathan Cheechoo and Milan Michalek, sending Heatly to San Jose where he can continue to score every now and then and offer nothing else to a team in any other aspect of the game.I have a lot of faith in Windsor Spitfire alum Jason Spezza, who will be paired up with Daniel Alfredsson and perhaps Alex Kovalev on the front line.It looks like the starting goaltender job will go to Brian Elliot, who I am predicting will have a career year, which could lead to a playoff berth for the Sens.Missing out last year was a huge blow for the franchise that I’m sorry to say is struggling financially as well.Seeing a sell-out crowd night after night would be a huge boost for fickle team and balances on the edge of the post-season as the Sens will do this year.
Philadelphia Flyers
The Flyers try to be a presence in the Eastern Conference, but it just never really works out.Ever since their inception to the league in 1968, the Flyers have always just kind of been there, and that’s it.I’m expecting another season similar this year.They have few roster changes from last year: Simon Gagne is the staple on the team if he remains healthy and Chris Pronger will lead the defense along with Kimmo Timonen.The goaltending situation is the biggest difference from last year’s squad, replacing Martin Biron and Antero Niittymaki with Ray Embry and Brian Boucher.The Flyers won’t really challenge again this year.They will either have another early exit from the playoffs this year or miss the playoffs entirely.Perhaps they should take stand much like New Jersey and go bring back the Legion of Doom?No, the Broad Street Bullies would be more fun to watch.
Pittsburgh Penguins
My upset special pick of the day:If by some miracle Sidney Crosby doesn’t get eaten by Zdeno Chara, this will be the year he suffers the injury that will plague him the rest of his career.Evgeni Malkin will have to step up to the ultimate demise of the Penguins.Then Penguins will only make the playoffs if Marc-Andre Fleury can stay on his feet.Not much else to say about Pittsburgh right now.Camp will be interesting because coach Dan Bylsma has never actually ran one before, but he has most of the players from the Stanley Cup winning roster, so the camp could potentially run itself.With few important players gone from the team (Petr Sykora, Hal Gill, and Rob Scuderi), look for them to make the playoffs easily and challenge again for the Finals.It will be a little more difficult, however, since they will be sans their Prodigal Child.Chara will just have to watch out for the indigestion.
Tampa Bay Lightning
The Lightning had a dead last finish last season in the worst conference in the league.So it can only go up from here (trust me, I’m a Lions fan).But rightfully so that they finished so poorly when they made the worst decisions in the history of decision by making Brian Melrose the head coach.I mean, he’s even dumber than Guy Carbonneau!Will have to see how things go with gambling mogul Rick Tocchet at the helm.
Apparently Melrose lied during the interview for the Tampa Bay coaching job
Bringing in names like Alex Tanguay and Mattias Ohlund will help a lot in terms of scoring. Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lacavelier deserve to play for better coaches but will be faithfully rewarded if the Lightning manage to climb out of the cellar and compete in the coming years.Just don’t bank on it to be this year.They also may or may not have a goaltender.
Toronto Maple Leafs
I was surprised at how crappy a finish the Leafs had last year.I guess I just always expect them to be a contender.It kind of makes me sad to see an Original Six struggle so much.Picking up restricted free agent Phil Kessel will likely benefit the Leafs and he will challenge for a spot on the first line.The rest of the roster is incredibly gray.No real idea who will play with Kessel and it is like the Leafs are starting from square 1.Opening the season against the defending Cup champs would not be the ideal way to start this brand new season, but it have to play the hand you’re dealt, I suppose.Jason Blake may appear on that front line with Kessel, and why Boyd Devereaux is still in the NHL I’ll never understand.Tomas Kaberle will return to lead the back half of the ice and it will probably be Vesa Toskala between the pipes for Toronto.It isn’t looking good again playoff-wise for the Leafs because of the unsure roster, but they could challenge late in the year if with a couple of good deadline moves.
Washington Capitals
The Washington Alexander Ovechkins will have another good year this year thanks to that one guy they have who I can’t remember the name of…he’s pretty good…he scores a lot sometimes…ah!Oh, well.Anyway, Jose Theodore needs to come up with a big year if the Caps are going to challenge come playoff time.Tomas Fleischmann will be a key player and Chris Clark will keep the captain’s ‘C’ warm for Ovechkin…That’s his name!Alex Ovechkin!I knew I’d remember it eventually.Look for Brendan Morrison to have a good year, too.The playoff exit last could be attributed to inexperience but that excuse won’t fly this year.The Caps have to be ready for the long hull if they expect to go anywhere in the playoffs.And people other than Ovechkin have to contribute.I’m sorry, it’s only fair.
Born on a Jungle Cruise in deep forested Amazonia to wealthy international shipping magnates, Slate is world renown in the mercenary scene for his prowess in leading rebels to victory over superior numbers lead by incredulous dictators and rouge generals. He has turned down numerous military and civil medals of honor from multiple countries due to fashion standards. He stands 6'8"; eats lightning and craps thunder; fluent in all languages except one: Love. He was once good friends with the World's Most Interesting Man, but a falling out occurred after a disagreement over the importance of the reinvestment in America's Navy by President Chester Arthur pertaining to the Spanish-American War. The world's philanthropist/socialite scene awaits their reunion. While not traveling the world or volunteering at Children's hospitals, Slate will write about football, baseball, hockey, soccer and food.
Annie Detroit
Like all children born in the murder capital of the US, Detroit, Annie was given an Kevlar injection shortly after she was born and has naturally bulletproof skin. Running away from home at the age of 3, she snuck across the border into Canada and was raised in the Yukon by an Inuit/Ninja family. Once grown, she would return to the States and take on a career as an undercover spy for an organization so secret that the name of said organization cannot be divulged. While no man has been able to pierce the steel skin to Annie’s heart, she was raised to respect hockey’s greatest figures, and holds particular esteem for Detroit’s Steve Yzerman. She will write about baseball, hockey, and food.
Iroquois Plisken
Before you ask, no, he is not related to John Carpenter's character, Snake Plissken. Don't feel bad; it happens all the time. Plisken was born in an Illuminati compound and was poised to join the ranks of the New World Order, but resigned due to creative differences. Many of Plisken's life details are shrouded in mystery, hearsay, and innuendo. He was once romantically linked to 6 celebrities simultaneously, including Margaret Thatcher, Dave Coulier, and Erin the Esurance.com pitchwoman. Plisken was also once attributed to inventing the printing press, despite being born into this world several hundred years after 1454. While not teaching himself the law or hitting golf balls into abandoned minefields, Plisken will blog about football, basketball, baseball, golf, and food.
