Best Football Broadcast Teams

by Slate Quicksilver

Sportingnews Magazine is still, sort of, relevant. I mean, they have a website and all. Then again, so do we. So I guess it's not that cool. Point is: SN is rolling along about 32 lightyears behind ESPN (though I prefer their radio network waaaaay over ESPN radio... which is just terrible).

Anyway, SN still does their "who's the best" polls. Among others in the past there have been "best athlete in X decade", "best dynasty in X sport", etc... and it's rather interesting because supposedly SN readers are more seasoned than ESPN readers because ESPN is the vanguard and you really need to know something about sports to even know about The Sporting News and blablabla... or something like that. Or that could be complete mularkey (underused word).

The poll up for their next issue is rather a good one: who is the best football broadcast team. We at PLS will help you solve the answer.

Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston:
There is no way on earth these guys should win. At all. Less than a snowball's chance in Hell. Not because Kenny and Daryl are bad; they are actually above the norm I would argue. They have Tony Siragusa. Automatic loss. And you know how we feel about him here...

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman:
Joe Buck carries in the experience and bloodline solely from his Hall of Fame/all time great/legendary father, Jack Buck. Troy Aikman brings in a cerebral QB's thoughts. However, Buck is certainly not suited for football in this one's opinion. In baseball, sleepy tones, understatements and long tangential stories work. In football, those are beyond bad because the game is too fast. Plus, we have this bit of evidence. Our over-indignant scale just broke.

Chris Fowler-Craig James-Jesse Palmer:
They are the up-and-comers here. They really seem to enjoy themselves in the booth. James and Palmer bring solid knowledge and Fowler hammers it all home. Plus, there is this. BURRNNN! Yeah, I know it's off camera, but I like to see them have a good time. Stoic indeed, sirs.

Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf:
They've been together for a while, but there is just something missing here. Greg Gumbel doesn't really have a voice for football. Interviewing Moammar Qadhafi? Bullseye. NFL game in September in Houston? Not as much.

Tom Hammond and Pat Haden:
Well, you probably hate Notre Dame if you are at this site. Their pro-ND spin is because of who signs the paychecks, so don't throw them out just yet. On second thought, they help promote the Jimmy Clausen Heisman hope train. They suck.

Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson:
Personally, I love these guys. Excellent voice (Verne) + knowledgeable former player (Gary) = excellent telecast. But I am partial, I grew up listening to the SEC on CBS with Tim Brando "back in the studio."

Sean McDonough and Matt Millen:
Matt Millen is involved and thus they are terrible.

Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth:
Collinsworth certainly stepped up to replace Madden and you can tell. He brings it every game. And Al Michaels is Al Michaels. One question though: Have you noticed how Collinsworth's voice has gotten more and more southern every year?

Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit:
Musburger is probably my favorite right now. No one is as good as being in the moment yet not interfering with your viewing experience as Musberger. He took the mantle from the retired Keith Jackson and ran with it. Only Lundquist has more mileage than Brent, and Brent has called every sport you can think of. "You are looking live at..." is an all time great quote. Herbie, by the way, has turned into a pretty good color guy, too.

Jim Nantz and Phil Simms:
Nantz is an underrated announcer and he has a great voice. Simms can sometimes go off on weird tangents, but Nantz does a good job reeling him in. Especially when Phil goes on a spin about protecting QBs and whatnot.

Brad Nessler and Todd Blackledge:
Nessler does a very good job despite Todd Blackledge. Blackledge is of the "former jock who says things that do not really mean anything and add nothing to the telecast" variety. Blackledge isn't bad, he just isn't good. Also, Todd's taste of the town is terrible. In Gainesville, he went to a chain restaurant. Come on, Todd. THE ORIGINAL SONNY'S PIT BBQ IS FROM GAINESVILLE!

Mike Tirico-Ron Jaworski-Jon Gruden:
Tirico is great. Don't know why, but I like him. Jaworski is solid at breaking down tapes, but he is too vanilla. Gruden never shuts the hell up, but I am impressed with him in the booth. Too bad he will be coaching in a year or two.

For me, I vote Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit as the winner. They have good balance, prime placement (the Saturday night ABC game) and Matt Millen is not involved.

So vote early, vote often, and vote whoever you want. In the end it won't matter. SN magazine voted Matt Leinart as the best college football player of this decade over Tim Tebow despite 80% of the vote going to Mr. Tebow. Seriously. Absolutely fucking stupid.