Final Word for College Football Week 8

by Slate Quicksilver

You may disagree with who is number 1 or number 4, but you can't disagree that this season is going to be either super crazy awesome or terribly depressing.

(1) Florida sleepwalked through Starkville to beat Mississippi State. Yes, Florida only won by 10, but consider this: Florida had 4 trips into the redzone. One was a missed FG, one was a FG, one was a TD and one was a 100 yard long pick 6. This says two things: UF's redzone offense is confuzzled and this game should have been a blowout and a half. Subtract 7 from the Bulldogs, throw up 18 points and you would have had a disemboweling. But football is not a "would have" game. As a result Florida is still in a fog and they may not be so lucky down the road.

(2) Alabama's offense, like Florida's, is in trouble. Tennessee played a great defensive gameplan and barring their kicking game completely tanking, the Vols would have won. But again, football is not a "would have" game. Alabama's defense continues is smothering of all opponents, but like Florida, their offense is not something to be proud of.

In lighter news (3) Texas embarrassed Missouri at home. I think that this is the final blow in the Mizzou hope train that started in 2007 when they were at one point #1 (and Kansas was like #5). It's a tough and unpleasant path back to mediocrity, Mizzou, but you had a good run while it lasted. The Longhorns Offense looked good again, but it was the defense that opened eyes. A Texas team with a little defense is a scary idea.

(4) Boise State continued its march to an undefeated season and thus blood raining from the skies in December. Hawai'i is back to mediocrity now that the June Jones effect pulled up its stakes and is at SMU... who is probably going to make a bowl game. It should be noted that Boise State in the BCS championship game with be the end of the terrible tyranny of the system, but note that in order get rid of it, we must effectively allow the system to shit the bed. This year shitting the bed would be a doomsday scenario of Boise State-Cincy playing in championship game.

Raise your hand if you thought (5) Cincinnati would still be undefeated in late October. (Raises his hand) Cincy is a good team. No doubts there. Are they the number 5 team in the country? Probably not. Is Boise State the 4th best team in the country? Definitely not. Yet here we are. The Bearcats obliterated Loovil moving them closer to an undefeated season.

While we are on nightmare undefeateds, let's talk about (6) Iowa winning their second game on the last play of the game in the most improbable of circumstances. Give Michigan State credit, they played a great defensive game and that hook and ladder at the end of the game to set up the "supposed to be" winning TD was a decision made with balls of a titanium-osmium alloy. But seriously, Iowa was bailed out on a few bad calls and MSU inexplicably blitzing 7(!) on their own seven yard line with 3 seconds left. I applaud not going to the prevent defense, but seriously, a SEVEN BLITZ!?!? The cornerback stood no chance.

So here we are. We could have 6 unbeatens at the end of the season: UF/Bama, Iowa, Boise State, Texas and TCU. 6 teams, only 2 slots in the NC game, what could solve this? Oh... A PLAYOFF!

The rest of the Top 25:

(7) USC survived Oregon State, but by the well tanned skins of their teeth. Listen, USC is in a down year. There is no way a logical person could argue otherwise. They always have an excuse for their in conference losses, but they lost to Washington and this time Oregon State was a long play away from beating them.

(8) TCU bravely walked into Mormon land and soundly crushed (16) BYU. This game was never really close and TCU's only resistance on the way out is Utah in a few weeks. The BCS is in trouble... don't know if you got that just yet.

(9) LSU handed Auburn another loss to continue Auburn course correction back to being .500. LSU, if they can beat Alabama in 2 weeks becomes the driver in the SEC West car. If LSU beats Alabama, they will go to the SEC Championship game and if they beat Gators. Hello, NC game.

Clemson walked down to (10) Miami and won in overtime. Clemson, it has been determined, is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you'll get. Sometimes they'll knock off a top 10 team on the road and next week they may lose at home to Coastal Carolina. Miami is similar yet they are hinged on what Jacory Harris wears to the game. Gucci, win. Versace, close win. Ferragamo, HA! You can buy that at a department store. Definite loss.

(11) Oregon demolished Washington, reminding UW that beating USC was a product of their own inconsistency and how USC is terribly overrated.

(12) Georgia Tech beat Virginia during Virginia's annual "Biblical Flood Re-creation Day." Seriously, the 8 bit RAYCOM sports feed had this game looking like it was a night game, except that the game was played at high noon.

(13) Penn State went to Ann Arbor, took Michigan behind a shed, told them to cut them a stick and then whacked them for 4 straight hours. Michigan provided endless comedy with their self caused safety. The center snapped the ball in the shotgun in their own endzone not over Tate Forcier's head, but to this side. The ball of course zoomed out of the back of the endzone. Before the ball even hit the ground, the center turned around to Tate Forcier and started berating him. Forcier curled into the fetal position and began to sob. Penn State got the ball back and immediately threw a 60 yard TD pass. (Full disclosure: Only one of those things were fake).

(15) Oklahoma State destroyed Baylor who honestly deserved it. Did you see those uniforms? Yeah, they deserved it.

(17) Houston took care of SMU. They needed a big in conference win to prove that they aren't just another small conference team who shouldn't be ranked this high and are only ranked this high because they beat a big time team or two yet they still lost an in-conference game and now must beat everyone by 458679 just to look good. That almost made sense.

It took overtime, but (18) Utah took out Air Force. Unpatriotic. Why does Utah hate America?

(19) Ohio State finally had a good game again a conference opponent. The Terrelle Pryor Overrated Watch Sponsored by Green Day has been slightly upgraded from "Kate Hudson" to "Capri Sun Juices." Pryor ran 15 times, had barely a 50% completion percentage and still threw a pick against a woeful Minnesota defense. It's funny that only now did people in Columbus start questioning the Sweatervest. Forget the big game failures... it was a loss to Purdue that did it. Not unlike what happened to Ron Zook at Florida... a loss at Mississippi State was the death knell.

(20) Pitt continues the trend of building up their hopes only to be dashed because their coach is Dave Wannstadt. Also, the USF annual slide is hitting on all cylinders.

(22) Arizona turned the ball over 5 times, but they still beat UCLA in the standard Pac-10 default score of 27-13.

(23) West Virginia showed a remarkable amount of class in honoring UCONN's fallen teammate before the game. Well played West Virginia. And then they quietly and politely disposed of UCONN in a close game.

(24) South Carolina nearly lost again to Vandy. When Spurrier was at Florida, it was a yearly event. Spurrier would double whatever Vandy would get total by the first half. Then last year he lost and this year he barely beat them. I think he is going to leave the Gamecocks. Honestly. They won't fire him, he will just not show up for work for a day... or 50.

Did you ever think you'd see the day where (25) Kansas would be ranked and Oklahoma would not be and they would play? I sure didn't. But if it ever did happen, I would have guessed that Oklahoma win the game in that weird scenario 35-10. I was wrong. OU won 35-13.

The rest of everything:
Don't ask how, but Florida State beat UNC. Don't ask how, but DUKE BEAT MARYLAND (LOLZ!) Notre Dame finally beat Boston College. Navy beat Wake... USA USA USA. Iowa State beat Nebraska in a laugher 9-7. Colorado continues its quest to fire Dan Hawkins by losing to Kansas State. Texas A&M shocked every human being alive by brutally crushing TTech... the line from Vegas was TTech -21.5 and the difference was 22 point so when I looked in my pick'em league, I thought I had won because I took the Red Raiders. Rutgers soundly beat Army (boooo!). Syracuse beat Akron in a game that was way closer than it should have been. Northwestern was down by 25 at one point, but luckily they were playing Indiana. In a terrible game that ESPN gave to Pam Ward to cover (snoozefest), Purdue beat Illinois. Cal will be ranked next week as they blew up Washington State. Stanford is now a game away from a bowl while Arizona State is now a loss or two away from firing Dennis Erickson. Kentucky destroyed Louisiana-Monroe. Finally, The Nutt Bowl (or the Giggity Bowl) ended with Ole Miss beating Arkansas as edsbs.com said: "eleventy to tangerine."

Some changes here coming down the pipes tomorrow.