Sports Related Costumes for Halloween That Might Elicit a Response

Posted by Iroquois Plisken

Halloween is nigh, and since I won't be publishing on that date (it is Georgia Hate Week, after all), here are a few ideas for you Last Minute Larrys on Halloween costumes. Since yours truly isn't in peak physical condition, as I suspect some of you, dear readers, aren't, or a female for that matter, it leaves out the slutty aspect of costuming, we need all the help we can get when it comes to awesome costumes that don't necessarily involve exposure of skin. Note: this list will not include a Michael Vick related costume. That's played out.

Andre Agassi: Here's a great costume that a friend of mine is actually doing. I love the fact that his recent admission of doing illicit drugs has come forth at just about this time of year so the satire is fresh and scathing. Old Agassi (the Shick Razor Superstar) or Young Agassi (the Kenny Loggins lookalike, sans beard) would both make excellent costumes and biting social commentary as to the refined points of "performance enhancing" drugs.

Deficient Aspect of Your Favorite (Rival?) Team's Performance - Not invited to a party? NOT A PROBLEM! Just say that you are in fact attending, but you're showing up as something generally lacking for your team. For example, be the St. Louis Rams' offense. That's been MIA for quite some time.

BRETTFAVREBRETTFAVREBRETTFAVRE - This one practically writes itself. A mish-mash of Packers, Jets, Vikings, Falcons (yes, the Falcons!), and Southern Mississippi gear should do the trick and, lest we forget, be sure to sport your Wrangler jeans. Of course you're comfortable in Wranglers, Brett. If I was popping Vicodin like popcorn at a movie theater, I'd feel great in anything too.

Tim Tebow circa 30 A.D. - Another friend is actually doing this costume, complete with tunic with "TEBOW" and "15" affixed. It was probably what JC himself would have worn if he was trying to hit Simon Peter on a 15 yard post, unless Judas betrayed his QB and allows the sack on the play.

Mark May and Lou Holtz - I just giggle thinking about a tandem doing this specific one.

That's it, folks. Enjoy your Halloween filled with tricks, treats, and plenty of boooooooze.