Nothing's Going on in the NHL

By Annie Detroit

Unlike the NCAA, there are no undefeated teams. Unlike the NFL, there isn't a senior citizen leading the league in all offensive categories (Joe Thorton is only 30 so he doesn't count). I've been searching around for the last 20 minutes on ESPN and NHL.com looking for some interesting story to blog about regarding the NHL. I can't find anything interesting to blog about.

The NHL is boring. No one is chasing any long standing cherished records, there are no heated rivalries that command the attention of viewers across the nation. There isn't even a scandal going on right now. The biggest news I could find was Buffalo's Patrick Kaleta being suspended for hitting a guy (I saw the hit, it wasn't that bad). So what is going on in the NHL?

Well, most of the teams are about where they should be standings-wise. The biggest surprise I see is Detroit almost at the bottom of their division for the first time since the 80's. I would blog about that, but I'm sure most of you don't want to hear a Red Wings fan complaining about the Red Wings, so I am pleading the fifth on this particular issue until spring.

The fact of the matter is the start of this season has been a tad disappointing in my view. The top scorer right now is Joe Thorton, not big surprise. The top team right now is the San Jose Sharks, not quite straying from my preseason prediction though I focused more on the end of the season for these guys. That's really all the excitement for now. Forgive me for not being on the edge of my seat. Even Crosby and Ovechkin have been exceedingly quiet this year thus far.

Why is that? Why is the NHL boring? Perhaps it's because no one is attempting to hype things up? I'm not sure if I've mentioned it yet on the blog, but I hate Versus. They do a terrible job and I feel they are a large part of this lack of interest in the NHL. Football, baseball, soccer, and basketball are on ESPN, and ESPN makes sure you know it. They talk about it on Sportscenter, they show commercials like crazy, and they have their other commentary shows (PTI, Around the Horn) covering everything as well. We would be lucky if Tony Cornheiser and Mike Wilbon talk about hockey, and Tony Riali only brings it up once in a blue moon (usually when the only hockey afficianado Tim Cowlishaw is absent). ESPN isn't there for the NHL to hype up every play and make that one hit on that one guy a huge deal and turn it into a scandal. While I think ESPN often over-exaggerates things, they know how to get people interested. So screw you Versus, no one wants to watch bull-riding after a hockey game.

Something I've noticed in the last few years. You know at the beginning of SportsCenter when they show a bunch of one second clips to go along with the theme music? Well, whenever they show NHL clips, they always show guys getting rocked into the boards or flying forward and landing on their faces or celebrating a goal. If these are the things that are exciting about the NHL, then why is the NHL trying to get rid of them? Hmm, interesting.

But maybe it isn't a network thing? Maybe it's the league that needs to step up. All year around, the NFL shows commercials about how great they are and how if you don't watch the season opener in three months the world will most likely end. I really only see commercials for the NHL while I'm already watching the NHL. Real smart guys. I'm already watching!! And you know what else? Sidney Crosby isn't good at speaking in front of a camera, try someone else! The NHL doesn't have aggressive add campaigns, familar faces that you can throw in a Sears commercial, or a video game that has people lining up at the local GameStop for the midnight release. It seems as though the NHL has accepted this mentality that they will never be as popular as the other sports that occupy the headlines.

To correct these problems, I suggest a few simple steps:

1. Dump Versus like a bad habit. They are terrible and no one watches them even if they have a cable package that carries them.

2. Get back on ESPN. They know how to work a crowd.

3. Disco Demolition Night?

4. The NHL needs to do a better job getting their names out there. To the casual observer (the south) people don't know who guys like Joe Thorton and Marian Gaborik are.

5. Kill Gary Bettman; I just feel that will solve everything.

It's not like any of these things are impossible (although I doubt anyone would provide the permits to set fire to vinyls within an ice arena), so it's not like I'm asking a lot. If all these are done, the NHL will find itself back in the mix with the other pro sports and not just watching from the sidelines.

I will volunteer to head up the committee to complete #5.