Yesterday was a travel day for me, so apologies in being unable to pen anything. Today, we will be looking across the realm of Sport and analyzing who gets to raid the local Toys R Us with severance pay packages this year. Since this is the second peak of sports in session (the other is around March/April), baseball will unfortunately not be included here. So, let's jump around the world and take a lookey-loo.
Already In Line for the New Hannah Montana Trinkets
Byron Scott, formerly NOR - No surprise. His team looked like they had tuned him out last season. I'm amazed he got as far as he did, but then again, a playoff berth, even if capped at one round, does a lot to save a team, even if one can reasonably assign that Chris Paul carried the team there. Scott and Paul were tight, though, so don't be surprised if Scott is hired by a coach willing to gamble on CP3's availability in two years.
Dick Jauron, formerly BUF - Another non-surprise. The man is a complete failure as a head coach, save 2001, when he led the Bears to a 13-3 record. Those 13 wins account for 22% of his total career head coaching victories (60). I don't know how he is at just being a coordinator, because it seems like he's experienced some success. It should both sadden and enrage Bears fans that Jauron shares a positive trait with the legendary George Halas and the object of Bill Swerski's Superfans' affections, that being all three have won at least 13 regular season games with the Bears.
Didn't Get Fired, But Is Right There With The Above
Rocky Hager, formerly Northeastern - Well, there's a hell of a way to go. Hager, who did not have a winning season in his 6 years as coach, didn't just get fired. Friends, Hager was responsible for the completing axing of the entire football program. I'm almost positive that my sweeping generality is inaccurate and it was probably a cost benefit analysis of some sort, but sweeping generalities are far more fun.
Might Want to Make Sure the Geoffrey Dollars are Handy
Lawrence Frank, currently NJN - Few coaches, if any, can survive potential 17-20 game losing streaks to open a year. Even as one of the deans of the NBA coaches (hard to believe that he's been there 7 seasons and has yet to be canned), he probably won't survive this sluggish start. Still, his contract expires at the end of the season, so he's either getting fired or non-tendered.
Ron Wilson, currently the Maple Leafs - I don't know, I felt obliged to pick some hockey team. I saw this article and I figured it was worth the risk. Good to know he's dapper, though. That'll take him far. Maybe he'll channel his inner Fred Astaire and put on his Ritz.
Charlie Weis, currently Notre Dame - Nothing more needs to be said. Even Ty Willingham and Bob Davie could beat the Naval Academy.
Eric Mangini, currently CLE - Another Belichick disciple who's on the verge of needing some gainful employment. I don't think he'll get fired but it's probably not a great idea to give the players ammunition (real or metaphorical) before you have to renegotiate the CBA.
The One That Will Make Some Fans Really Cry
Urban Meyer, currently UF - ...Just kidding. He's staying at Florida. Suck it.
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